


The promised land

by Albenkind, guardianinthesky



Series: Everything remains (as it never was) [2]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Thor, First Kiss, Flirting, Frottage, I'll update Relationships/Additional Tags each time something relevant happens in a chapter, Implied Thor/Sif - Freeform, Intersex!Loki, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Memory Loss, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Protective Thor, Racism, Slow Burn, Violence, mental manipulation, political issues, prejudices
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:57:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 118,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1966365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albenkind/pseuds/Albenkind, https://archiveofourown.org/users/guardianinthesky/pseuds/guardianinthesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>!!! Please read "Untouched" first before you read this story, otherwise you'll miss an important part of it !!!</p><p>Thor already made peace with the fact that he will never see Loki again.<br/>But when Loki comes back despite what happened to them, he's not like Thor remembers him.<br/>What they don't know is that the Norns have made a difficult path for them to walk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Part II

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to Völuspá c: !!  
> And hello all new readers. 
> 
> First things first - I apologise for the short Prologue, I promise the next chapters will be longer.  
> So this is the second part of Emma's and my story and this part will be a lot longer than the first one. 
> 
> Enjoy c: !!

The healers did their best to stop the bleeding wound. It was not that hard luckily even if the bolt cut right through his shoulder blade. The wound healed eventually after a long time and there was a round, thick scar on his shoulder and at his back.

 

Though what didn't go so well was the part where they tried to wake the crown prince up. 

 

A week passed. Two weeks passed. And then three weeks passed. But even after a month, Loki didn't even flinch.

 

He'd been interrupted while performing the spell. And because of this he was caught between life and death and his mind was wandering around aimlessly. The healers did not know what to do so they just watched over him, making sure his mind didn't fade away. That was all they could do. Wait. Try to hold him here. 

 

And then finally, when the third month passed - Loki woke up. He was screaming and the shrill sound of his voice cut through the utter silence in the healing chamber. It was loud and when the healers came running towards him they tried to hold him down, trying to grab his slippery skin because he was sweating and his eyes were wide with panic. They needed guards to actually prevent him to accidently hurt himself or someone else with his magic as they tried to restrain him. They needed a surprisingly amount of strength to hold him down. 

 

It was difficult. They had wrapped a blanket half-around him so no one would accidently touch him. Laufey had ordered them to still not touch him. The Casket was still too weak and as long as Loki was still alive he could give it up for the Casket again. That's why he was strict because of this. They had to keep him alive and pure so the Casket would absorb his energy instead of rejecting it.

 

Finally, one of the healers left to get Laufey. 

 

And when he arrived, Loki was still screaming and he had started crying, fear clearly visible in his eyes. 

 

****

 

"Loki. My treasure. There is no need to fear any of us." the large man whispered.

 

Loki held his breath, feeling panic creep up his spine. Who was this? 

 

"Where am I?! What is this place?!!" Loki yelled, looking around. "Who am _I_?!"

 

He looked at the large man again and somehow, the way he looked into his eyes calmed him down. It was almost like a force that made him calm. A force that made him stop struggling against the grip of those guards and healers and Loki felt his body getting weak. 

 

"Calm down Loki. No one is going to hurt you. They are all gone."

 

Loki. Was this his name? He'd called him like this twice already so he figured this must be it. Of course it was relieving to feel that the guards were finally letting go of him. The parts of his body where he'd been held down under the blanket. He could still feel the force and his limbs were pounding lightly now that the blood could flow through it properly again. 

 

He had so many questions. Way too many and they made his head hurt. 

 

"I will explain everything to you. In time. My name is Laufey and you are my son. Everything will be alright. The Æsir tried to kill you. But they are gone now. No one is going to harm you anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for coming back to this story, it really means a lot ;u; ♥ !!  
> And thank you to everyone who's new to this and takes the time to read all that c: !

The time had passed quickly for Thor. By now it had been eight months since he'd last seen Loki. 

 

Every day, he was beginning to adjust more and more to his life in Ásgarðr. He spent much time with his brother, as well as his new friends. His mother insisted on the two of them spending time together as well, and he would often sit with her in her gardens, listening to her telling him stories of Ásgarðr and of the other realms. He had grown very fond of her, and even taken to calling her mother. After all, that was who she was. He had even spent some time with Odin, learning more about his royal duties and what it would mean to be king. His father was often quite busy, but Thor had grown to respect him, and of course he was fond of him as well. 

 

He'd started training. Studying. Training for battle. Training techniques and strategies. Studying reading. Studying other languages. Studying everything about the nine realms, history and all kinds of creatures out there. 

 

And then had been given Mjölnir a few months ago, and everyone had seemed happy when he had been able to lift it. There had been a great feast, and Thor could still remember what a joyous night it had been. Now, he had grown accustomed to the hammer, and he was getting quite good at using it in battle, even though he had trained with bigger weapons for most of his life. It was weird because it felt like she had her own consciousness. An own mind. Own moods. But he enjoyed it and had grown fond of her as a weapon and as a friend. 

 

He thought of Loki every day and had even managed to get a moment alone with Heimdallr to ask him if Loki was all right. He had been told he was alive, but had gotten no further news, which of course made Thor wonder if he was hurt. He still thought sometimes that perhaps he should go to Jotunheim to find out, but he had no idea how that was supposed to work. He would have to get past Heimdallr, and that seemed almost impossible. 

 

Thor had just finished training with his friends, and he patted Baldr and Fandral on the back before bowing to Sif. 

 

"Forgive me, my friends. I shall have to retire to my chambers." 

 

They told him to stay a while longer, but Thor merely chuckled and waved at them before leaving. It was too hot to continue training for today. He was getting tired so he figured it was time for a break. This place really felt like his home now, and he was no longer scared or nervous around others. He felt very comfortable around his friends, and he greeted the guards and servants as he passed them while he walked through the palace on his way to his room.

 

Thor was just walking down the hallway that led to his room when he heard what he believed was some guards shouting. Stopping in his steps, he turned around and frowned. 

 

What had that been all about? Was there some sort of emergency? 

 

He looked down at the hammer attached to his belt. Should he help them? He didn't even know what he was supposed to do in these kind of situations. Was the crown prince supposed to help, or was he supposed to stay out of it while the guards took care of it? He hoped that second one was not the right option, because he would despise having to hide like some sort of coward. Looking over at his door, he tried to decide what would be the best decision to make right now. Should he go to his chambers anyway and have the nice, long bath he had been longing for, or should he go see if perhaps the guards needed some help? With a sigh, he turned around, beginning to walk in the direction of where he had last heard the voices. The problem was that it was such a big palace, and even after all this time, he did not completely know his way around yet. Nevertheless, he did his best to try to locate the hallway where he'd heard the guards, putting his hand on Mjölnir just in case. He did want to be prepared, just in case someone would need his help. 

 

Finally, he heard voices coming closer, and he turned around the corner, immediately spotting his brother, along with some guards, walking in his direction. And they were dragging someone along, someone with blue skin.

 

He stopped, holding his breath. A Frost Giant? Why would a Frost Giant... And then he got a better look at him, and his stomach dropped as he realised he recognised that face. Staring, his eyes wide, Thor took a couple of slow steps closer. Thin frame, delicate features, sharp cheekbones and bright eyes. Hair like black silk.

 

"Loki..." 

 

He stopped almost right in front of him, not paying any attention to the guards, who had at least stopped walking, probably wondering what he was doing. Shaking his head, Thor wished more than ever that he would be able to reach out and put his hand against the other's cheek, but he still remembered the rule. 

 

"How... I thought..." Pausing, he swallowed. "I thought I had lost you," he whispered, staring into those red eyes he had missed so much.

 

Loki frowned, breathing heavily as he blinked a few tears away. There was some sort of irritation in his eyes and Thor waited patiently for a reaction. 

 

"Don't come near me!!" Loki suddenly shouted and one of his legs was lifted swiftly, his foot flat on Thor's broad chest to kick him further away from him. 

 

Baldr pulled him away. "Woah, calm down there!" he said, wrapping an arm around Loki's chest to hold him in place. 

 

"I said don't touch me!!" Loki yelled. 

 

"I'm sorry, Thor. We don't know what happened here. We were just about to bring him to our father." Baldr explained. 

 

Taking a step back, Thor gave Loki a surprised look. Granted, he looked a little bit different now than the last time they had seen each other, but he had assumed Loki would have realised who he was. He must have recognised his voice, after all. And his hair, and not to mention his eyes. Why was he behaving like this? Was he still in shock? And what was he even doing here? So many questions he had yet to answer, but he figured he would have to deal with them one at the time. And then he realised Baldr was touching him, and the confusion became even bigger. It hurt. To look into Loki's eyes and see nothing but confusion there. No sign of relief or affection. 

 

Could Loki be touched now? Or was his brother touching him despite the rule still set in place? If so... Baldr had been the first to touch Loki, and Thor was not entirely sure how to feel about that. Not that it should have mattered, but... 

 

No. It was not important right now. He had plenty of other things he needed to figure out first. He looked over at his brother when he addressed him, and then back at Loki when he said his name. Finally, he saw some sort of recognition in his eyes, and perhaps Loki would now smile at him, or at the very least tell him what was going on. But this did not happen. Instead, he shouted the most outrageous accusation, and Thor furrowed his brow. 

 

"Thor?! _You_!! You're the monster that almost killed my mother and tried to kill me!!" Loki suddenly spat and Thor could feel his heart break.

 

"What?" He shook his head. "Loki, what are you talking about? I did not try to do that!"

 

"Wait... _That_ is the son of Laufey?! He's a bit small to be the son of such a gigantic Frost Giant, don't you think?" Baldr asked. 

 

Thor cursed himself at Baldr's words because he wondered if perhaps he should have waited a bit before revealing Loki's true identity. Obviously his brother had not known whom he had captured and perhaps they would have been kinder if they had thought it was the son of Laufey - after all Loki was a prince and had to be respected. 

 

But there was not much time to think about it because suddenly, Loki moved and he kicked Baldr's knee _hard_. Thor could've sworn there was a loud crack even and his grip on his arms loosened. Within a single heartbeat Loki slid down. Then Loki pulled his own arms in front of him again which looked quite painful. This was the first time Thor realised Loki's hands were tied together behind his back so he had to stretch his arms to the limit to bring them forward under his butt and legs again. Grabbing the dagger from Baldr's side, Loki literally jumped forward at Thor. 

 

He could feel Mjölnir vibrating at his side, ready to strike and he grabbed her handle - changing his mind in the last moment because he knew what kind of damage she could do. Though that single moment was the cause he found himself on his back because Loki had pushed him down, the dagger in his hand flying down to his throat. 

 

A lot of people would not have been able to do something about it - but Thor had not been one of the most skilled warriors in Jötunheimr for nothing. It was already a reflex that he reached up and quickly grabbed Loki's wrists before he could get close enough to stab him, using his own legs to trip him over, forcing him down on the ground himself. Thor straddled him while he pinned his hands above his head on the floor. 

 

"Loki, stop it!!" he told him, pulling the dagger away from him and tossing it to the side.

 

Immediately, Loki started struggling against Thor's grip. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were suddenly wide with what looked like panic. He was completely out of breath and he seemed to lose his vision and to hyperventilate. If he didn't want him to fall unconscious, he needed to calm him as fast as possible.

 

"Loki. Loki, listen to me." he whispered, only now realising that he was touching Loki.

 

Thor felt like he was about to cry.

 

This was their first actual touch. And it was because they were fighting against each other. Thor was touching him because he had to stop Loki from trying to kill him. This was definitely not what he'd imagined his first time touching him would be. 

 

"I am not going to let them hurt you, Loki. There is no need to be afraid... Do you not recognise me?"

 

It took him a few seconds but eventually, Loki stopped struggling against Thor's grip. Thor was not sure whether this was because of his words or because Loki was just exhausted. 

 

"Thor, we need to bring him to Odin! You know that!" Baldr insisted after a couple of seconds. 

 

But Thor didn't look away. He continued to look into those crimson and irritated eyes. Yes, of course he knew they were supposed to bring him to Odin but... There was clearly something wrong with Loki and Thor wanted to help him. No matter what, he still cared for him and there was a part of him that was still utterly protective over him. Bringing Loki to his father would mean... what exactly? What would Odin do to him? And would he listen to Thor if he told him he did not want to see Loki hurt? 

 

"I don't know you!" Loki suddenly yelled. "But my father told me about you! I know what you did!!"

 

"Your father is lying, Loki! I did not try to kill anyone! I was your personal guard. We were friends. Do you remember none of that?"

 

Loki tilted his head and Thor could see that Loki looked at Thor's wrist before looking back at him. 

 

"You cannot prove what you just said. As long as you can't do that, I see no reason to believe you!" Loki snarled. 

 

It took Thor a moment why Loki would look at his wrists. At first he thought he was trying to look for a way to escape, but then he realised he must have looked for the bracelet. This was actually the first time Thor realised that he had no idea what happened to the bracelet - he had just assumed the healers or the guards had gotten rid of it when they had first brought him to Ásgarðr. Thor cursed silently, sighing inwardly as he tried to figure out how to do this. If only Loki would have remembered him, he could have convinced him to do as he said, and he would have been able to get him out of there, but now he could not trust Loki to listen to him. Besides, he did not really want to help him back to Jötunheimr, not before he knew what was going on. If Laufey had done something to him, Thor did not think Loki should go back there. It would be better for him to stay here. 

 

"Loki, stop struggling!" Thor told him and sighed. "Listen to me. I will not let you come to any harm, but I have to take you to my father. Maybe he can make sense of this."

 

Pushing himself up, Thor grabbed Loki's arms firmly and pulled him up as well, looking over at his brother to give him a quick nod before he walked towards the throne room. 

 

"Thor, why are you doing this?" Baldr asked and Thor could hear that he was coming after them. "He just killed over a dozen of our guards without a single moment of hesitation. We can't trust him!"

 

Thor watched him for a long moment, torn because he could understand Baldr's thoughts. But he could not let something happen to Loki. Even though things had changed and even though a lot of time had passed, he was still very protective of him. Besides, Loki was still his friend. They had been friends when they had been attacked, and Thor saw no reason for that to change. Of course, he realised that something had happened to Loki, and he knew that he would have to figure out what it was so that he could get his memory back, he only hoped that he would get a chance to do so without anyone harming him. This would be difficult enough without having to worry about Loki's safety. 

 

"I am doing this because I have to," he said, still keeping his eyes on Baldr. "You do not understand, Brother. He was my friend, I was sworn to protect him. I failed. But this is my chance to make up for it. Something has happened to him, and I intend to find out what it is." 

 

Arriving at the throne room, he waited for the guards to open the big doors before stepping inside the golden and brown room, making sure to hold Loki tightly so that he would not be able to escape, as he pushed him closer to his father.

 

But before he could even think about saying something... Odin was the first one to speak. 

 

"I already heard something from the guards." Odin said calmly. "But I didn't believe it until now."

 

"Father... This is Loki, prince of Jötunheimr. He is..." it would have been much simpler if he had been able to say that Loki was sorry for his crimes... but he knew that would be a lie. "Truth to be told, I am not entirely sure what he is doing here."

 

"How did you get into Ásgarðr, boy? Heimdallr did not see you coming through the Bifröst." Odin asked Loki after a moment of just observing him intently. "Why did you come here?"

 

Loki kept quiet. He kept quiet for a long, long time. Thor did not count the seconds but he could tell that Loki was probably quiet for a couple of minutes before Odin seemed to slowly lose his patience. 

 

"If you cannot give me any explanation to why you killed my people, you will be put into one of the cells." Odin threatened. 

 

He was surprised to hear that Heimdallr had not seen Loki coming through the Bifröst. How else could he have gotten into Ásgarðr? He must have used his magic, or perhaps some sort of secret passageway. Besides, it made sense, of course, that he would not use the Bifröst. If he had, Heimdallr would not have allowed him to stay. He would have made sure to stop him before he reached the palace. And of course his father asked the very question he was burning to know the answer to. Why had Loki come here? What was the purpose of this? Why kill the guards? Thor assumed he was not really after them. He was after something else. Or someone else. 

 

But Loki did not answer him, and then Odin threatened to put him in one of the cells. Thor knew he had to do something. Obviously Loki was too stubborn to listen to his father. 

 

"Loki," he said quietly, leaning closer. "Tell him. Do not make this any worse for yourself. Please. What are you afraid of?" 

 

Furrowing his brow, he leaned even closer, slowly tilting his head to the side. "What did he say to you? Loki, what did your father say to you?"

 

Loki twisted his arms, trying to get away. Though this time it was only half-hearted and when Odin stood up to take a few steps towards them, Thor could feel Loki pulled back against him. He was obviously intimidated by Odin and Thor couldn't blame him. Of course he was scared, he didn't know what Odin would do to him. Reaching up, Thor put a gentle hand on his shoulder, making sure to still hold onto Loki with his other hand so he wouldn't get away. He felt like he needed to comfort him and show him support, even though the person threatening Loki was his own father. Thor was of course loyal to his family and to Ásgarðr, but if they tried to hurt Loki... He could not and would not stand and watch. He would do something against it. 

 

"If you don't tell me I will go to Jötunheimr and ask Laufey myself." Odin said and Thor could feel Loki jerk back. He seemed to be even more scared now.

 

"No!! Please!!" Loki almost cried out, shaking his head.

 

"I ask you one more time then. How did you get here and what do you want?!" Odin repeated, a bit more impatient this time.

 

"I... the Casket." Loki admitted slowly. 

 

The Casket. Of course. Thor should have known. And he should've known that Laufey was too much of a coward to come here by himself.

 

"We need the Casket back. Jötunheimr will die without it so father ordered me to bring it back... And... Heimdallr did not see me because of my magic. I can travel through the realms without the Bifröst."

 

It seemed as though Laufey had once again lied to Loki. He had told him - again - that Jötunheimr would fall without the Casket. Thor gritted his teeth. He suddenly wondered if he could get away with going to Jötunheimr and giving Laufey a piece of his mind. To use his son like this, and not just once, but twice... It was pure evil. It was disgusting. Thor looked over at his father, meeting his eyes. He remembered the day he had woken up, when his mother and brother had showed him the castle. That was the day when his father had first told him the truth about the Casket, and that Jötunheimr would be able to survive without it. That Laufey just wanted to get the Casket so Loki could pour his life and energy into it so Laufey could invade the other realms. It seemed as though Loki had not been told the same thing.

 

Odin didn't reply. He seemed to consider the possibilities and the longer the silence lasted... the more nervous Thor got. 

 

"You will return to Jötunheimr. You will be banished from Ásgarðr and if you are found here again, I will show no mercy and you will be executed. This is your first and only warning." Odin finally said, voice firm. 

 

Thor's face fell, and he stared at his father. He had expected him to put Loki in a cell. Even something like that would have been preferable to sending Loki back to Jötunheimr. Finally finding his voice, Thor took a step forward. 

 

"No! Father, please." 

 

He looked around and only now noticed Baldr who had been standing there in complete silence the entire time. Thor hesitated but then motioned for Baldr to come over and hold Loki for a moment. Thor waited until he had done so before taking a step closer to Odin. 

 

"Father, listen to me. You cannot send him back there. Laufey is poisoning his mind. He has done something to him. I was his personal guard, we were friends, and now he claims not to know who I am. I do not know what Laufey is planning, but I do know that he cannot be allowed to use Loki for his own purposes. He is using him as a weapon, Father." he glanced over at Loki. "I know how strong he is. I have never seen anyone use magic like him. If you send him back there, Laufey will continue to feed him his lies, and you risk letting him twist and turn Loki's mind until he is nothing but a merciless killer." then he turned back to Odin. "Please, Father. Don't let him do this. Put an end to this now, before it is too late."

 

Odin let out a chuckle and shook his head. "That is ridiculous. No magician can be that strong that we need to be afraid. The bracelets we got from the Dwarves are enough to suppress any magic in all nine realms. Loki is no threat. Neither physically nor mentally as long as he wears the bracelets. And apparently he's not even grown up either and it can take centuries to develop his full strength. 

 

Thor listened to his father, knowing full well that he was wrong about this. He had seen how strong Loki was. In fact, he was quite sure he hadn't even seen his full potential, but what little he had seen was more than enough to make him understand that Loki was really powerful, and they could not possibly send him back to his father. What would he tell him this time? Laufey was obviously doing everything he could to turn Loki against them, and it seemed as though he was already succeeding. What would happen if he got more time? Thor did not wish to know. He wanted to put a stop to this, now, before it was too late. 

 

"We have to---" Odin wanted to continue, but was interrupted by a loud crash.

 

Thor's head spun around and he could see and he could see the bracelets had turned to dust. Loki twisted around and forced Baldr to let go of him. He rolled, bringing his feet up to kick Baldr right under his chin so he snapped back and fell to the ground, groaning in obvious pain. The two guards that came running towards him were quickly gone as well. Loki threw an icy dagger at one of them that cut right through his throat, leaving a bloody line before it spilled and spurted out of the fresh cut and the guard dropped to the ground. The second one was pierced with icy daggers that came out of the ground within a single heartbeat as well and Thor's heart stopped when he saw how mercilessly Loki started to kill the others. The Frost Giant suddenly walked towards Odin, one hand raised at him. Thor was just relieved to realise that Loki hadn't chosen to kill Baldr. Otherwise he couldn't have done something for Loki anymore.

 

"Give me the Casket!!!" Loki yelled hysterically. "I can't go back without it!!"

 

"I suppose I will have enough time later to say I told you so." Thor briefly told his father.

 

Turning back to Loki, he took a step to the side, putting himself in between Loki and his father. He could see the flinch in Loki's hand. He'd probably been about to leash out at Odin. 

 

"Loki, stop this!" he told him. He reached for his hammer, but realised that it was probably better not to threaten him right now, so he let his hand fall back to his side. 

 

"Don't do anything stupid." he took a very small step closer. "Your father is lying to you, Loki. He lied to all of us. A few months ago, I believed I was Jötun. I was your personal guard. We were friends," he added quietly, realising how much it still hurt to think about. "We thought you needed to sacrifice yourself in order to save Jötunheimr. We were wrong, Loki. Your father tricked you. Jotunheim does not need that Casket to survive. Laufey only means to use it to attack other realms. He wants your power, and the only way to get it would be through the Casket. That is why he wants you to give up your life, so that he can attack the other realms." 

 

Again, he took another careful step closer to Loki. "Please. You must believe me. I cared for you, Loki. I still care for you. And I know you cared for me too. You once told me that if you would let anyone touch you, it would be me." Thor gave him a sad smile, hoping that perhaps if he spoke of these memories, at least some small part of Loki would remember. "Now, unfortunately, my brother was the first to touch you..." glancing quickly over at his brother who was struggling to stand up, he turned back to Loki. 

 

"But it changes nothing, Loki. You do not have to listen to your father. He does not want what is best for you, he simply wants to harm the other worlds. I know you don't want to help him do that. Think about it, Loki, please. You can have a good life. Don't let him do this to you."

 

Loki looked irritated for a second and his lips were pressed together to a thin line. He frowned and pushed his chin up a little bit.

 

"You don't care for me and you weren't my personal guard." Loki snarled. "You tried to kill my mother and you almost killed me." the prince added, pointing at the scar on his shoulder. 

 

Loki's gaze turned back to Baldr who was bleeding from his mouth and his nose. There was the hint of a smile on Loki's thin lips and Thor was getting frustrated. Turning back to Odin and Thor, he took a deep breath before he said something again. 

 

"You two made me useless by touching me. Father won't welcome me home in this state. I know your healers are the most talented in all nine realms and I want them to fix this!" he demanded, one hand still raised and ready to attack if someone decided to get too close

 

Thor had to admit, Loki's words hurt him quite a bit. Obviously Loki would still not believe him. Of course he cared for him. If he did not care for him, he would not have taken such good care of him during the last few minutes. He would not have made sure to calm him down or assure him that he was not going to let anyone hurt him. He understood why it was difficult for Loki to believe, of course he did, but it still frustrated him. He wished he could somehow make Loki snap out of it, but he did not know how that would be possible. Perhaps they could use some kind of magic to undo whatever Laufey had done to him? Either way, Thor wanted the old Loki back. He wanted his friend, the one he had... developed very strong feelings for. He was hesitant to call it falling in love, since they had not spent that much time together, but... Well, he'd probably been well on his way to falling in love with him. And that was why it hurt to hear that Loki thought he'd tried to kill him and his mother. That wasn't him! Granted, the guards had done it, but he refused to believe that they had tried to kill Loki. If they had wanted to kill him, they would have done so, but instead they had simply left him there.

 

"Our healers will help you if you promise to not attack anyone in this realm. After you went to our healers, we will discuss further steps." the king suddenly said and Thor frowned

 

"Okay." Loki agreed without a single moment of hesitation. 

 

Two guards came towards him - one to his left and one to his right and both of them grabbed his upper arms to pull him away a bit roughly. 

 

"Thor!" Loki said while they made their way out of the room. He looked back over his shoulders to look at him. "I would've never let anyone touch me. There's nothing beautiful about being touched. It just hurts." he commented and the three left the room.

 

Watching as the guards dragged Loki out of the throne room, Thor furrowed his brow when Loki addressed him, and then felt his chest clench at his words. That was a lie. Loki would have let him touch him, Thor knew it. Loki had _wanted_ him to touch him. He was the one who had asked him to put his arm around him, he was the one who had grabbed his hand and pulled him through the hallways on their way to the Casket. If Loki would have agreed to let someone touch him, it would have been him. Thor did not doubt that. Loki had said it, and he trusted him. This wasn't Loki anymore. He wasn't himself, and Thor had no idea how to get him back.

 

He was desperate.

 

Desperate because Loki seemed to be gone.

 

Desperate because he wanted his Loki back.

 

Odin breathed out and turned towards him, interrupting his thoughts. 

 

"You told me so. I know. Loki seems to be more powerful than I thought." Odin admitted. "If what you said about... him sacrificing himself is true... I have an idea why he has no memories of you. But first I need the healers to check on him. Of course they cannot _'undo making him useless'_ like he put it... But there was apparently no other way to bring him to the healers safely." Odin explained. 

 

"Thank you, father." 

 

"I'm only doing this for you, my son. I trust you with this. But if you don't keep him under control, I will not hesitate to banish him from Ásgarðr or put him in prison. If anything happens from now on, you will never see him again." 

 

Thor sighed and nodded at him. He needed to keep Loki here as long as he possibly could. If Loki was sent back to Jotunheim, he knew Laufey would use this to convince him that the Aesir were truly evil, and that they should do everything they could to take their power away from them. The thought of never seeing Loki again was a horrible one. As the time had passed, Thor had come to terms with the fact that he might not see Loki again, and he had consoled himself by reminding himself that at least Loki was still alive, but now that he knew what Laufey had done to him, and now that he realised how much he really did care about him, he could not possibly let this be the end. He wanted to see him again. He wanted to talk to Loki, he wanted to tell him that he had tried honey, and that he had actually liked it. There were so many things he wanted to talk to him about, but it could never happen unless they somehow managed to get Loki's memory back.

 

"I do not understand why Laufey would do something like this. Does he really hate us enough to use his own son as a weapon?"

 

"Do you know how old Laufey is, Thor? My own father fought against him before he was even king. Laufey is very powerful but he doesn't know when it's time to stop. He has an insatiable hunger for power and my father managed to stop him just in time before he could conquer the nine realms with the Casket. Laufey almost destroyed the balance of Yggdrasil back then. And now he found out that Loki is even more powerful than himself. Of course he wanted to make sure he can use him as a weapon.

 

He hadn't known that Laufey was that old. If anything, he had figured he was as old as Odin, or perhaps a bit younger. But this... this was news to him. Surprising news, as that.

 

"Brother."

 

Turning his head when he heard Baldr's voice, Thor showed him a slight smile. He'd put a napkin to his nose, wiping the blood away.

 

"Is it true?" Baldr asked. "Loki has never been touched before? I'm the first one to do this?"

 

He listened to his question, turning his eyes to the floor. 

 

"Yes." he answered quietly. "You are."

 

And Thor wished it wasn't so, but at the same time, there were more important things going on here. He needed to get Loki's memory back. That was the most important thing. And then he could think about this later. 

 

"I mean, we... I had my arm around him a few times, and he held my hand, but we always made sure to have some sort of fabric in between. I never touched his skin. Not until today..." 

 

And this was not how he had imagined touching Loki for the first time, but he could not take any of it back now.

 

Baldr looked down, obviously ashamed by this fact. 

 

Thor did not blame Baldr for having touched his brother. It wasn't his fault. He hadn't known about the rule. Besides, someone had to touch Loki. After all, he had just killed several guards, someone had to hold him down. Thor just wished... He wished none of this had happened. He wished Loki had been all right. But he wasn't. And he wouldn't be, unless the healers figured out what to do with him. Thor hoped they would be able to succeed. He hoped they would figure out how to deal with this, and what to do about Laufey. The only thing Thor knew was that Loki could not go back there. He would not let that happen.

 

"I didn't know." Baldr said. "I'm sorry, I-" he started but then stopped when he suddenly heard a loud cry. 

 

It was Loki's voice. 

 

He frowned and looked into the direction of the healing room. Without even waiting for any of the other two to say something, he started walking towards the healing room with quick steps. Without hesitating, Thor followed him quickly, making sure he was faster than Baldr. It had sounded like Loki was in pain and Thor could feel panic crawling up his spine.

 

He ran past his brother, out of the throne room and into the healing chambers where he found Loki and the healers. They were trying to hold him down. Several ones. Two of them were already hurt and a third one was lying on the ground, seemingly passed out. His heard jumped with shock and he rushed forward, pushing one of the healers out of his way to take her place, putting both of his hands against Loki's neck gently. Just like he had wanted to do so many times after seeing Loki collapse because of the spell he'd been learning.

 

"Loki, listen to me... Listen to me. Loki. You need to stop struggling. They are here to help you. Loki please, they won't hurt you."

 

It was strange but Thor could tell that Loki was beginning to calm down. He let out a subtle but relieved sigh. Maybe... maybe there was still a part of Loki that recognised him? Without saying a word, their eyes were locked with each other and slowly, Loki stopped struggling. Then, Thor started brushing his thumb against Loki's neck, taking only a second to marvel about the fact that Loki's skin was just as soft as he had thought it would be. 

 

Loki didn't look away when a healer came closer again. 

 

"I'll try it again now. Please my lord, he needs to stay calm." the girl said and Thor continued to look into Loki's eyes when she put her hands next to Loki's temples, closing his eyes. 

 

Suddenly, Loki's body tensed up and a few seconds later, he parted his lips, letting out a short groan as blood was coming from his nose again like back then when he'd practiced for his spell. Thor could even feel Loki's hand clutching to his shirt tightly and Thor remembered how scared he had been the first time that had happened.

 

"Shhh... It's going to be all right, Loki." he said quietly, holding his hand out and getting a piece of cloth from the healers. 

 

Bringing it up to Loki's nose, he gently wiped the blood away, thankful that at least he could do that now. He had never been able to help Loki before, but now he could, and it did make him feel a little bit more useful. 

 

"You will be all right. I promise you. I will find a way to get you back."

 

Loki started to tremble. Then he started to shake and his eyes seemed to lose vision. It was easy for Thor to tell that Loki was in deep pain. He had been with him enough times in that meditation room to know what signs to look out for. He wished there was something he could do to help him, but he felt almost as useless as he had done all of those times. At least now he could cradle Loki's neck, wipe the blood away, and attempt to comfort him in any way possible. And the healers were here, and Thor trusted them to take care of him. He looked down when he felt Loki's hand slipping away from his shirt, and he realised at once that Loki had passed out. Thor's heart almost stopped and he opened his mouth to ask the healers what had happened but she already pulled her hands back.

 

"I will kill him if I continue." she said with a frown and shook her head. "I can't break through. There is... there is some kind of barrier that blocks everything out. It's nothing natural. Someone must've created that barrier to make sure no one can go through."

 

Laufey had done something to him. He must have put up that magic barrier, and now Thor did not know how to get rid of it. If the healers could not figure it out, what hope did they have?  
Reaching out, he took Loki's hand in his, pressing it against his own chest while he looked at him with worried eyes.

 

"Thor, how did you do that?" Baldr asked, looking down at Loki. "He was freaking out and you calmed him down in a matter of seconds."

 

He barely looked away from him when Baldr addressed him, instead using his free hand to wipe Loki's forehead, brushing away a few dark strands of hair, remembering with a sad smile the times he had braided Loki's hair. 

 

"I do not know," he confessed. "At first I thought perhaps a part of him still remembered me, but if the magic barrier is there..."

 

"How close exactly did you and Loki get while you were his personal guard? And I don't think he will notice you holding his hand while he's unconscious."

 

At his brother's words, Thor could feel his heart drop. He had not wanted anyone to find out his true feelings for Loki, as he doubted any of them would approve. He was the son of Odin now, and Loki was of Jötunheimr. They could never be together. Of course, he could not know for sure if Loki would have even wanted to be with him, but if he had... Nothing could ever happen between the two of them. Thor was going to be king one day, he would have to find an Asgardian woman to marry, and Loki... Loki was not an Asgardian, and he certainly wasn't a woman. Nevertheless, Thor did not wish to tell Baldr how he felt about Loki, because he did not think it was necessary for his brother to know the whole truth. He should have been more careful. No wonder his brother thought there was something else there, if Thor was holding his hand. He didn't let it go, though, because he figured that if he did let Loki's hand go now, he would be proving his brother right. 

 

"We were friends," he said, making sure to look over at his brother this time, to show him that he wasn't lying.

 

Baldr sighed, giving him a short nod. "Alright... at least you can calm him down. Whatever effect you have on him it seems you can keep him under control. Let us just hope that he will continue to listen to you. Do you want to stay here until he wakes up?"

 

Thor nodded his head immediately, and turned his eyes back to Loki. 

 

"Yes," he said. "I'll stay here, in case he needs to be calmed down again when he wakes up. I don't want him to be alone when he wakes up. Maybe he gets scared." 

 

That wasn't the only reason he was staying, though. He was worried, and he had suddenly realised just how much he had missed him. During these months he had been in Ásgarðr, he had not allowed himself to think about him as often as he would have liked. He had known that thoughts of Loki would only hurt him, which was why he had done his best to suppress them. Now, though, it was all coming back to him, and Thor knew he could not possibly leave Loki's side. He would not be able to concentrate on anything else while he knew that Loki was lying in here, and so therefore he might as well stay with him. It was probably for the best, even if his feelings for him would be questioned. He did not care right now. Let them think whatever they wanted - all that mattered was that Loki would be all right.

 

Baldr then came closer, tilting his head to the side and leaning down a little. 

 

"When he's like this he looks almost... beautiful. No wonder Laufey kept him hidden." he said and reached up to brush over Loki's cheek and his neck with his fingertips carefully. "I wonder why his skin isn't so cold it burn us." the prince said absently and let his hand rest on Loki's shoulder for a moment.

 

Thor agreed with his brother. Well, no, not entirely. For him, there was no _almost_. Loki was beautiful, and he was beautiful even when he wasn't lying like this. He was beautiful at all times. He could remember his smile. Oh, that beautiful smile that had been directed at him. And his laugh. And how he had looked while swimming in that lake. And while Thor had braided his hair... 

 

Suddenly, there was a smile on Thor's face, though that smile quickly disappeared when he noticed Baldr reaching out to touch Loki's cheek and neck. Why was he touching him? Thor furrowed his brow. He knew it was silly, but a part of him wanted to cover Loki with his own body and growl at his brother for daring to put his hands on him. Loki was not his to touch, and at this moment, the thought that Baldr had been the first to do so, bothered him a lot more than it had a few minutes ago. Still, he didn't say anything, he only looked over at his brother for a few seconds before turning his eyes back to Loki again, clenching his jaw as he forced himself not to push his brother away. Was he a bit possessive? Yes, certainly. Did he care? Not at the moment. 

 

Baldr licked his lips, still looking at Loki absently.

 

"I've never been able to actually look at a Frost Giant like this. You can basically look at everything you want now. Did you know that a Giant's horns are hyper sensitive?" Baldr then asked, letting his hand slide up again, his fingertips gently brushing over the tip of Loki's right horn. Even if he was still unconscious, Loki let out a small whimper, tensing up for a moment. 

 

"Don't you think it's interesting, Thor?"

 

This time, Thor did not only clench his jaw, he also clenched one of his fists, closing his eyes for a few seconds as he reminded himself that punching his own brother was not something he was supposed to be doing. Nevertheless, it annoyed him. What right did he have? A few moments ago, he had seemed regretful when Thor had said he had been the first one to touch Loki, and now it seemed as though he was more than willing to put his hands on Loki. 

 

"Yes, I do know that. I looked like a Frost Giant for the most part of my life, Brother," Thor reminded him, his tone only just barely hiding his anger. It did not hide his sarcasm though, and he wondered if Baldr would be able to understand that he did not want him touching Loki. When Baldr touched Loki's horn, though, Thor gritted his teeth together, but could no longer hold it in. 

 

"Surely you have something better to do than experimenting with his horns?" he growled, refusing to look away from Loki. "Just because he is a Frost Giant does not mean you have the right to do whatever you want with him."

 

Baldr looked up and shook his head, smiling at Thor. 

 

"Don't get me wrong. I don't want to hurt him." he assured him and smiled at him. 

 

Baldr looked down again and let his eyes roam over his form for a moment. "The skin of Frost Giants is hard but Loki's is so soft." Baldr noticed as he put his free hand on Loki's stomach.

 

A _smile_? He told his brother to back off, and he got a _smile_? Thor was furious. How dared he?! Thor knew his brother was studying with the biologists who learned everything about the other realms and he knew his brother never really cared about anyone getting angry with him, and normally Thor thought that was a very admirable quality, but right now he thought it was the most annoying thing in all the nine realms. Why could he not understand that he did not want him to touch Loki? What right did he have? Granted, Thor had been brushing his cheek and holding his hand too, but at least he knew Loki! Baldr was a complete stranger, and he had no right whatsoever to touch Loki like this. Thor had never quite been bothered by the way the Asgardians talked about the Frost Giants, but now he certainly was, because it sounded as though his brother thought Loki was an animal - a creature he could explore while it was still unconscious. And then he dared touch his stomach, and Thor saw red. He was just about to take a step closer and push his brother away, when he could feel Loki moving on the bed.

 

The Jötun prince let out a groan and he turned his head. It didn't take him long to realise what was happening though and Loki let out a panicked gasp, pushing himself away, eyes wide. Almost falling down, he held onto Thor out of reflex, breathing heavily.

 

Thor immediately moved closer, making sure to wrap his arms around Loki carefully. "It is all right, Loki. I am here..." he whispered and then looked up to his brother again, gritting his teeth.

 

"Do not touch him again!" he said firmly, hoping his voice conveyed that he was not leaving this up for discussions. 

 

If Baldr touched Loki again, Thor would not hesitate to actually hurt him.

 

"Make him leave." Loki whispered and Thor could feel that he was shaking.

 

But Thor didn't even have to make him leave. Baldr was already on his way out and he let out a relieved sigh, looking down at Loki again.

 

"You told the truth." Loki continued with a whisper, letting out a single sob that made Thor's heart clench painfully.

 

How did Loki know he had been telling the truth? The healer had not managed to get the barrier down, there was no possible way for him to know.

 

"The healer... I- I don't know. It's just a feeling but I think I know your voice. I remember it. I remember the... the warmth." Loki slowly explained. 

 

Letting out a happy sigh, Thor closed his eyes for a second. Loki recognised his voice. Even if he did not remember him, this was a small step in the right direction, and Thor could have sworn his heart was singing with joy. 

 

"I will help you remember, Loki," he told him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "I promise I will do whatever it takes to get your memory back."

 

Loki needed a moment and Thor observed that Loki was looking down at their hands. He wondered if he would tell him to let go of him. Thor hadn't even realised their hands were touching like this and he hoped he wouldn't have to let go of him. 

 

After not being able to touch Loki at all during those days he had been his personal guard, this was... It felt so nice. In some ways, it was better than he had imagined, though it was difficult for him to fully realise that since there were so many other things happening around them. Now, though, when they did have a moment to themselves, he could appreciate it a lot more. He did wish, though, that Loki would have had his memory, because he figured that would have made it even better. But even without his memory, this was still Loki's first time being touched like this, and he wondered what he was thinking. Did he like it? 

 

Then, he saw that tears were running down Loki's cheeks and he already wanted to let go but Loki held onto even tighter now. 

 

"The guards were painful. They were holding onto my arms too hard." he said and looked up to Thor.

 

"I never thought that it could feel beautiful like this... Could- could you?" he then continued and gestured towards his own bare arm.

 

Thor hesitated and only slowly let his hand reach up. At first, though, he reached up and gently brushed his thumb against Loki's cheek, wiping the tears away, and then doing the same thing to the other one. 

 

"Of course," he said, giving him a small smile. 

 

Placing his hand on Loki's arm, he slowly began to move it up and down, making sure that his touch was light, marveling at the feel of Loki's skin underneath his fingers. It was everything he'd ever wished for. Loki felt beautiful. He was soft and silky and Thor's fingertips started to tingle. It was wonderful and he never wanted to stop caressing him like this.

 

"No one told me it tingles..." Loki said and his smile suddenly faded a little. "Do you think your healers can fix this? Being tainted?"

 

"Is this what you are? Tainted?" Thor shook his head. "You don't need to be fixed Loki. The Casket is not being used to save Jötunheimr. If you bring it back home, you will allow Laufey to create death and destruction all across the nine realms, and I know you don't want this to happen."

 

Loki remained silent. His red eyes were just watching him for a very long time and Thor was getting nervous.

 

"What now?" Loki said, breaking the silence after what felt like hours. "What do you usually do if you're being touched?"

 

"You could relax and enjoy it. Or... you could touch the other person back. But that is not necessary." he replied with a smile. 

 

Loki did not have to touch him if it was going to make him uncomfortable. Besides, Thor was not as starved for affection as Loki probably was. He had plenty of people who touched him. His mother always made sure to hug him as often as she could, and he assumed that had something to do with the fact that they had spent so many years apart.

 

"Thor?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"I have to bring the Casket back if I want to go home. Father forbid me to come home without it."

 

"Then... then don't go back." Thor said quietly, turning his eyes down. "Stay here. You could have a good life here. Your father is only lying to you."

 

"Stay here? A Frost Giant? In Ásgarðr? You don't really think that could work out well, do you? Besides, my father said that he will come here with his warriors if I don't come back until next week."

 

Thor had not expected Loki to approve of his idea. Perhaps he would have done it if he had still had his memory, but now that he barely even knew who he was, there was no real reason for Loki to want to live in Ásgarðr. After all, he did not think they were friends, and he barely seemed to believe that Thor had been his personal guard. 

 

"Then let him come," Thor said, slowly looking up at Loki. "I will fight him until the last breath has left my body." 

 

And he meant that. For everything Laufey had done to Loki, Thor would have been more than happy to introduce him to Mjölnir. Of course, he thought it had been more appropriate for Loki to deal the final blow, but he did not know if Loki would be willing to do something like that. Laufey was still his father, even though he had never quite acted like it. 

 

"I think you would like it here. We have plenty of your beloved honey here." he said with a smile, only realising a second later that Loki would not actually understand that reference.

 

"Honey? How do you know I love honey?"

 

Thor let out a chuckle.

 

"Because you told me. You said it looked like liquid gold and that it is sticky and sweet... And you were right." he continued, still letting his hands caress Loki's arms carefully, moving them up and down. "It is not my favourite thing to eat, but it is truly good."

 

He wondered if he would be able to make Loki understand that Laufey was lying to him, and that it would be best for him not to go back. If anything, it would be better for him to get back once Laufey was dead. Then, Loki could rule, and Thor was sure he would make a much better king than his father ever did.

 

"So... you're saying Laufey only loved my abilities and not me. And he used you against your own father as well."

 

Sometimes, Thor wished he could look into Loki's head. He was jumping from one subject to another and he wondered what was going on in his mind. Did this mean he believed him? Or did he simply want to change the subject?

 

Anyway, he could tell that Loki was having some difficulties grasping this. And he did not blame him for it. After all, Laufey was his father. Of course he wanted to believe that he truly loved him and that he cared for his well-being. Thor wished he could tell him differently. He wished he could tell Loki that his father did love him more than anything, and that he would not have chosen to treat him so poorly, but both of these things would be lies. Laufey had proven that he did not care for his son, or he would not have been willing to sacrifice him, and he certainly would not have sent him to Ásgarðr to get the Casket back. 

 

"I'm sorry, Loki." Thor replied and gave him a nod. "I am so sorry. You deserve better than this."

 

Carefully, Thor wrapped Loki in his arms again, one of his hands resting on his back while the other cupped the back of his head, caressing the dark, silky hair gently. His heart was beating way too fast right now but Thor did not care. He wanted to comfort Loki. He wanted to show him just how good it could be when someone was there to hold you. And he hoped Loki could be soothed like this even if this was completely new for him. 

 

"Don't let go." Loki whispered after a while and Thor smiled happily.

 

"I won't." Thor replied, brushing his hand up and down Loki's soft back.

 

He was about to tell Loki that he would never let him go again, but he stopped himself before he had time to open his mouth. He figured maybe that would have been taking it a step too far. After all, as far as Loki was concerned, they hadn't known each other that long. He couldn't remember any of it, and even if he did, it was probably out of line to say that he wasn't going to let him go. Pushing these thoughts aside, he continued to stroke Loki's back, having no intention of leaving the room any time soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki had been trained for this. And now he was standing there and he was more nervous than ever before. Taking a deep breath he remained where he was until he could be sure the guards weren't looking at him anymore. 

 

Eight months. Eight months full of work - and now that he was here he was afraid that he would fail. That he would fail again and that his father would not allow him to come back home. If he wouldn't succeed with this, he was no longer welcome at home. Loki had to admit that he was afraid. The prince of Ásgarðr had almost killed his mother and Odin nearly killed his father. They took the Casket away from them - endangering Jötunheimr by doing that. It took him long to realise that he was the crown prince of Jötunheimr, and that he was a sorcerer. 

 

After he'd woken up from his coma he'd forgotten who he was and it had taken him a couple of weeks to learn everything once again. He'd been trained in combat and magic. And even if it had been weird at first because his father seemed to be very particular when it came to the rule that no one could touch him - it helped. He was agile in combat and rarely got caught. Now he only hoped that his skills were enough to do this.

 

Kill Thor. Kill Odin. Bring back the Casket and recharge it. It was a simple task and yet Loki felt utterly nervous while he sneaked into the palace. There were already six guards he'd killed on his way and they didn't even notice him. Shooting icy daggers from behind - right into their necks - was an efficient method and Loki intended to finish his task hopefully unseen.

 

****

 

Someone caught him.

 

And he touched him. Loki started to panic. He wanted to go home, but now he couldn't. He was useless and his father would be furious with him. He'd failed and there was no turning back now. 

 

****

 

"I don't know you." Loki tried to assure him more than once, but Thor kept insisting that they were friends. 

 

But how could Thor be friends with a murderer? And even more so - how could he possibly forget someone like this. Laufey would've told him. He would've told him if he would've been friends with the prince of Ásgarðr. 

 

****

 

And now... right now he was confused. He really wished Thor would tell the truth because if he was honest... there was something about Thor that made him feel incredibly safe. Not that Loki needed protection. He could fight really good and he didn't need someone who looked after him. And it felt incredible. The way Thor's warm hands were carefully running up and down his arms. He remained still and just concentrated on this feeling. He wasn't wearing a shirt so he could feel Thor's bare skin on his own. It was amazing and nothing Loki could've ever dreamed of. 

 

He knew it was wrong. He knew he wasn't allowed to let anyone do this but it just felt incredibly good. Loki had his own head leaned against Thor's chest and he could hear his strong and regular heartbeat beneath the flesh. It was comforting and he felt himself calming down so his tense muscles slowly relaxed into the touch as he leaned his body against him. 

 

"Where will I sleep?" Loki asked, pulling back a little bit. 

 

He really hoped he didn't have to stay here all alone. He was far away from being helpless but he didn't want to stay here anyway. He didn't know Ásgarðr but he knew that no one trusted him and that no one here in Ásgarðr liked Frost Giants. Besides, he didn't want to be alone with Thor's... brother? Yes he believed it was his brother. Whatever it was but he didn't trust him. He looked at him in a way that made Loki insanely uncomfortable. Plus he was getting tired and wanted to rest for now.

 

"If you need to rest, you could sleep right here and I could watch over you. Though I'm afraid that wouldn't be very comfortable." Thor replied, offering him a light smile. "You could also borrow my bed, if you want. Perhaps you would feel safer in my chambers. Or... I could find another bed for you to sleep in. It's up to you, my prince."

 

 _My prince_. Loki stopped and held his breath for a moment. It sounded like Thor didn't really intend to say it but it was like... it sounded like a reflex. Something that was part of him, something that came as naturally as breathing. Maybe it was the way he said it, maybe it was the way he looked at him while saying that. Or the tone in his voice? Loki was not sure but when Thor called him my prince... a rush of warmth filled him from his toes up to the tip of his head and he shivered lightly. 

 

He hesitated for a moment but eventually stood up, looking up at him. Thor was a prince as well - not only a prince, but the crown prince of Ásgarðr. This was something special and to hear him calling him his prince felt special. Yes, in this moment Loki felt utterly special. 

 

"How long have you been my personal guard before you came to Ásgarðr? And how did you come here anyway? Or... maybe I should rather ask why you were in Jötunheimr in the first place."

 

Thor let his hands fall back to his sides when Loki stood up, and he smiled softly when he asked his questions. 

 

"It is a long story," he said, tilting his head to the side. 

 

"I suppose I could give you the short version. Laufey sent some Frost Giants to kidnap me when I was ten years old. He told my parents that I was dead, and then he made sure that I was raised in Jötunheimr, believing that I was one of your kind. I was not your personal guard for a really long time, but we... We grew close. I don't think either of us meant for it to happen, but we became friends. And then my father came to bring me back home. The power of the Casket was growing weaker, and Laufey could no longer protect me from Heimdallr's watchful eye. The last time I saw you..." 

 

He turned his eyes down for a few seconds. 

 

"The last time I saw you, you were about to perform the spell to give your soul to the Casket, but you got an arrow to your shoulder. I thought..." 

 

Slowly, he turned his eyes back up. 

 

"I thought I had lost you."

 

Loki patiently listened to what Thor had to say. He was kidnapped when he was ten years old? This was quite sad to be honest and Loki wondered how Thor felt like when he came back to Ásgarðr and found out that he was an Æsir and even more - the crown prince of the golden realm. And to hear that they were close friends was weird as well. He couldn't remember it and he felt sorry for that. What was going on through someone's mind who knew about something the other person didn't know but _should_? 

 

He looked down at his shoulder as well for a moment before observing Thor again. 

 

"I believe you." Loki finally said after a while. 

 

"And I trust you. I don't know where this comes from but... It feels like I really know you. There is nothing to see in my memories about it but I can feel it." 

 

Again - he made a short pause before raising his hands, cupping Thor's cheek with them and remaining in this position a few heartbeats before letting his hands fall down again. 

 

"But I don't trust anyone else in this realm." Loki said, just wanting to make it clear what he thought about all of them. He knew no one here liked Frost Giants. That they were the Æsir's enemies and as long as they'd look at him with condescendence, he wouldn't trust them.

 

"I understand." Thor replied. "I thank you for believing me, and for trusting me. I promise you, I will not let anyone here hurt you. I will keep you safe, even if I am no longer your personal guard."

 

He nodded and took a step back, looking at the door that lead outside. Thor would keep him safe and Loki believed that he indeed would. He had probably done exactly that when he had been his personal guard and... Loki felt like he would continue to do this even if Thor was no longer sworn to protect him. That he was the crown prince didn't seem to change the way he thought about him or the way he acted around him and Loki was grateful for that. Besides Thor had been the only one who hadn't been violent to him. Everyone else had hurt him within the last hours but Thor had tried to be gentle with him all the time, trying to talk to him - which was another reason why he believed that Thor told him the truth. 

 

"If that is the case I... would like to take a place in your bed." Loki finally said and looked at Thor again, giving him the hint of a smile.

 

Thor smiled back and bowed his head at him. 

 

"As you wish. Come with me."

 

And Loki did exactly that, following Thor through the hallways of the palace. Everything here looked so... impressive. And there was a slight jealousy creeping up his spine. This realm was incredible and Loki wasn't sure where to look first because everything was beautiful and there were so many details in every single thing there was. It was simply overwhelming and this feeling didn't stop when they reached Thor's chambers. Thor opened the doors and stepped to the side so Loki could enter first.

 

"I hope this will suffice." Thor said. 

 

" _This_ is your room?" Loki asked, eyes widening and his jaw dropping down. 

 

His own room was nothing in comparison to this. Even if he was a prince too, this just made it even more clear just how different their realms were. Looking around he took in the large windows, the golden decorations and the books, the details in this room. Everything was bright and golden and red. It was way too much to notice everything at first sight and he hoped he would slowly see everything of it. In time. Once he saw the bed he did not even wait for Thor to say anything. It looked utterly comfortable and he jumped on it like he always did at home. 

 

"This is even better than my own bed." Loki said and turned around. There were not only furs but some other fabrics he had never seen before. It was shiny and very smooth, almost slipping away from his grip.

 

"It is a little bigger than your own bed, if I remember it correctly." Thor commented and chuckled. "It should be comfortable enough for you to sleep in."

 

Loki pushed himself forward a little so his legs were hanging down from the edge of the bed, looking at the other one. He probably shouldn't have jumped on someone else's bed in the first place. Especially not without asking and especially not if said person was the prince of Ásgarðr. Loki sighed and harrumphed a little. 

 

"It is." Loki replied with a short laugh. This should be way more comfortable than his own bed and Loki was sure that he'd fall into a deep and peaceful sleep here as soon as he closed his eyes once he was lying down. 

 

Though there was something else so he drew his attention back to Thor. 

 

"What about you? If you allow me to sleep in your bed, where will you sleep? At the other side of the bed? Somewhere else?" he asked, hoping he was not too forward.

 

"I hadn't thought about that yet, to be honest." Thor admitted and there was a slightly insecure smile on his full lips.

 

"I suppose I could sleep on the other side of the bed. Unless that would make you uncomfortable. In that case, I could find somewhere else to sleep. Or I could simply stay here and watch over you while you sleep. I've done that many times before after all."

 

Loki shook his head and chuckled lightly. This was Thor's room, he was the prince and this was his bed so he actually shouldn't have to suggest where he should sleep - he should just lay down where ever he wanted to. He licked his lips and pushed himself back until he could lay down into the pillows, still looking at Thor. 

 

"You watched over my while I was asleep?" he asked and thought about this for a moment. 

 

It was a weird thought but... comforting. Calming. To know someone was there to watch out that nothing happened to you while you were vulnerable... A smile appeared on his lips at this thought and he let out a subtle sigh before continuing. 

 

"Yes I watched over you. You used to tell me to stay with you until you fell asleep," he explained, smiling softly. "I usually stayed a few minutes to make sure you had really gone to sleep, before going into my own room. And then there was one time when I did stay up the entire night, watching over you. We were forced to spend the night outside, and I thought it would be safer if I stayed awake."

 

Loki had a few troubles realising what Thor just said. Though of course he protected him. He'd been his personal guard and it had been his job to make sure that he was safe. But maybe he'd done this not only because he had to but because he wanted to. Thor said that they had been friends before he was brought back home so... this was a possibility. And Loki wished this would be the real reason. It was nice to think that there was someone who truly cared for him especially after what he'd found out. Though Loki had to admit that there was still a light glimpse of hope that his father loved him nevertheless. That all this was not true. Loki really wished for that.

 

"But you're not my personal guard anymore. You don't have to do this so... This is your room, it is up to you where you sleep."

"If you would be uncomfortable with me next to you, I shall sleep elsewhere."

 

"No." Loki smiled at him, shaking his head. "You can sleep next to me."

 

"Very well." Thor answered and nodded lightly. 

 

Walking over to the other side of the bed, Thor removed his tunic but kept his trousers on. Getting under the covers, it seemed as if Thor wanted to make sure to keep a lot of space between them. Luckily, it was a big bed, and it was certainly big enough for the two of them to move around without disturbing the other one too much. 

 

Looking over at Loki, he gave him a smile. "This is strange," he said quietly. "I thought I would never see you again, and now you are right here." 

 

Loki frowned. Yes. Thor kept saying this. He kept saying he thought he'd lost him and each time he said this... it felt like something inside Thor broke. 

 

"How does it feel?" Loki asked. After all he hadn't experienced anything that would come close to losing someone he cared for. There was not even someone to care for in the first place. 

 

Though... there was his family. But that was different. Loki wasn't really allowed to grow attached to someone and he figured he didn't have any idea how to care for someone in the first place.

 

"I thought of you every day," Thor then said quietly. "The last time I saw you there was blood streaming from your shoulder, where the arrow had pierced you. When I woke up, here in Ásgarðr, I did not know whether you were alive or not. I spent weeks without knowing, and then finally I was able to ask Heimdallr if he could see you or not. He could, but not always, and I worried for you, but I could not go back to Jötunheimr without my father's permission, and he would not give it to me." 

 

Loki could see through the dark that he reached out to probably touch him, but Thor's hand dropped down again and instead, he smiled.

 

"I was beginning to think I would never see you again. I have missed you. I missed the talks we had, the stories we would tell each other. We may not have spent much time together, but there was a connection between us from the very beginning."

 

Loki felt like he was slowly but surely drifting away the longer Thor talked to him. He loved listening to him and what he said... it made him feel wanted. Loved. It was a weird and new feeling and while Loki listened to Thor's reply he could not help but feel sorry for him. He felt bad for forgetting about him and wished he could undo it. But he couldn't and Loki fought down the urge to reach out and touch his hand. Thor's embrace had been comforting and he wanted to do the same for him now. On the other hand he probably wouldn't be allowed to just move over to him and touch him. So he stayed there and just looked at him for a long moment. 

 

"I'm sorry." Loki finally said. 

 

He could imagine that this was a horrible feeling. Missing someone. Thinking that someone you liked was dead. 

 

"This sounds like we were very close." Loki continued with a light frown on his face. "If... if there is anything I could do just say it." he meant it. He let out a sigh and showed him a light smile. "But I'm glad that I'm here now."

 

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Thor said, shaking his head. "It is not your fault. None of this is your fault. If anything, _I_ should be the one to say I am sorry. I am sorry I failed to protect you, and I am sorry for what your father has done to you. You deserve better than this. You deserve to know the truth." Thor paused, looking at Loki for a moment before continuing. "You deserve to be loved." 

 

Again, Thor made a short pause, not taking his eyes away from him. "I am glad you are here too." He smiled back.

 

Loki was glad that he let the healers try to get through his mind. Because this way he was now able to find out the truth and he would get to know Thor. He didn't believe him at first of course. Who would? After all he was made to think that Thor almost killed his mother and tried to murder him as well. And there had been no reason to think that his father would lie to him. But now the Asgardian healers managed to wake this feeling inside of him. This strong feeling that there was more and that not everything he knew was right. And this was of course why he now doubted. He doubted his father and his words even if it was difficult. But Thor was here. He was telling the truth and Loki could feel that he wanted what was best for him. 

 

He didn't know anything about him but he did know that he had a kind heart and that he was the most honest person he knew. That smile Thor gave him was not faked and it made him feel home. Loki wondered if this was because of everything Thor said. That they were close friends and that Loki would've allowed him to touch him. He was grateful that he was there and said all this even if he didn't blame him for what happened.

 

"I don't think that anyone could've won. Neither of us is to blame. If the Æsir truly came with so many people than you don't have to blame yourself." a pause and then he licked his lower lip a bit nervously. 

 

"I am loved. I think." Loki replied. "You love me, don't you?" 

 

Thor was quiet for a long moment before he finally answered.

 

"Yes, I do." Thor said, reaching out again. But this time, Thor didn't stop. This time, he reached out and gently took Loki's hand in his own.

 

"I do." he repeated.

 

He looked him straight into his eyes and this made it even more intense. Loki could even feel that his own heart beating faster than usually. He swallowed and felt Thor's warmth at his own hand. Almost instinctively he returned the grip, not even completely sure why. It felt right and Loki's body almost moved all by itself. He couldn't really stop himself from shifting closer to him. Not too close though but close enough that he could barely feel Thor's warm breath on his skin. Just the slightest bit and it felt utterly intimate. 

 

"Did I tell you something like that as well?" Loki asked quietly. It was a nice thought that he felt something like love for someone who felt the same for him.

 

"You said you wished we could have been friends. And you said that if anyone was going to touch you, you would have wanted it to be me. But we never spoke of love. I like to think that you cared for me, though." Smiling sadly, he gave Loki's hand a squeeze. "I know you cared for me."

 

He breathed heavily at his words and the feeling of his tightening grip. Loki closed his eyes for a moment and smiled as well. So he did love him. If he allowed someone to touch him... he just had to. And right now he could feel it. He could feel their connection and again he noticed that he was just glad the healers managed to evoke those feelings he'd forgotten already. 

 

"Thor..." he whispered and looked into his eyes again. "The healers didn't manage to bring back my memories yet but... They brought back some of my feelings. It is weird. Feeling something you cannot remember but... they are there. I don't know what to do with them or how to interpret them. They are confusing..." he replied and sighed, shaking his head lightly. "But I know I will be able to realise what they mean in time." Loki then explained and made a short pause, licking his lower lip. "With you of course. Only with you."

 

"I am looking forward to you getting your memories back, but I do not want you to put too much pressure on yourself. It will come back to you, in time." He smiled softly. "And I will be there with you, every step of the way. I am not leaving you again." 

 

Loki smiled and nodded at his words. "I won't leave either." he looked down and gently pulled his hand up, wrapping both of his hands around Thor's, pulling it to his chest to hold it close to his heart. At least he didn't want to leave. He knew of course, that he would _have_ to leave at some point.

 

He let out a sigh and angled his knees so his legs from his knee down were pressed against Thor's stomach and his arm was caught between Loki's legs and his chest. Loki almost curled up to himself but never let his hand go. Instead he continued to press it against his chest and showed him another smile. 

 

"It feels nice to be so close to you." the prince said with his eyes closed. Even if it was scary. He'd never experienced something like this before and he didn't really know what to do.

 

"It's beautiful." and he really meant it. It was wonderful and Loki wondered how long it would take until he could remember everything again. 

 

"Good night Thor."

 

"Good night, Loki." Thor replied, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

 

He smiled but didn't look at him anymore when he repeated what he just said. Yes, good night Thor. Loki wondered how long it would take to get his memories back and he was curious what he'd get. His thoughts about Thor. His feelings and everything else he'd forgotten. 

 

****

 

It didn't take him that long to fall asleep. He had a deep sleep and it was filled with weird dreams he couldn't remember when he woke up again. He blinked - utterly tired - as he realised he was still curled up and held Thor's hand as if letting it go would mean his certain death. It was still dark outside and Loki guessed that his body was just so used to waking up before dawn that he was already awake, despite his lack of sleep recently. He looked around and let go of Thor, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Thor was still asleep and he looked like he was dreaming, a light smile was plastered on the blond one's face. 

 

Loki hesitated for a moment, thinking about waking him up. But then he decided against it, crawling out of the bed on his own. He wanted to go around and see more of the palace with Thor but the urge to do something was strong within him. He was restless so he just left the room quietly and walked down the long, golden hallway until he reached one of the many balconies. Going outside he sat down on the balustrade to watch the sky. It had a different colour than the sky in Jötunheimr. Loki knew that his father lied to him but at the sight of that sky and the Bifröst in the distance he couldn't fight down the homesickness that slowly crept up his spine.

 

Loki sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the fresh air fill his lungs. It was relaxing to feel the coolness of it. Ásgarðr was a lot warmer than Jötunheimr and he knew that it would take a lot of time to get used to that new climate. He was deep in his thoughts when someone suddenly addressed him. 

 

"Loki." turning around he already expected Thor to stand there but it was his brother. 

 

Loki frowned and opened his mouth to tell him to leave or else he'd call Thor - he would attack him but Odin forbid it and he knew he had to listen to this order if he wanted to stay here for now - when Baldr raised his hands in defense. 

 

"I just wanted to apologise." he said and this made Loki unsure. 

 

"Apologise? You think what you did can be made undone by apologising?" he argued and turned around again. 

 

He heard Baldr sigh and then stepping closer to him. 

 

"I know. But I want to apologise anyway. I didn't mean to scare you. I did not know that no one was allowed to touch you." 

 

Well this was an argument. Loki swallowed and looked to the side so he could see him out of the corner of his eyes. Baldr couldn't have known about this rule. That was right so... he had a point. 

 

"What do you want? Certainly not only apologise." Loki replied. 

 

He didn't really like him but he didn't want to just send him away - after all he seemed to be polite just now. 

 

"I've never been able to really look at a Frost Giant. So... forgive me when I say that you are very interesting to me. Not only your body and how it works... but your markings. They mean something don't they?" he asked and Loki could hear the excitement in his voice and see it in his whole body language. 

 

He was gesturing with his hands all the time and Loki knew that he was genuinely interested. Maybe a little too much. And it made him wonder whether Baldr was always so excited about learning new things. 

 

"Yes. Every marking means something else." Loki answered after a long pause. 

 

"Could you tell me?" Baldr asked carefully.

 

Loki was not sure if he should tell him everything or not. Right in this moment he seemed nice and as if he really just wanted to know more about Frost Giants. But on the other hand... he still was not really convinced that Baldr was like Thor. He surely wasn't. Of course was a completely different person but they were brothers so Baldr couldn't be different, could he? Thor was an honest person so Baldr probably was as well. Loki just hoped so - if not... Loki would not hesitate to ignore Odin's order for a couple of seconds.

 

"This is the crown of Ýmir." he finally started and pointed at his forehead. "It means I am the future king of Jötunheimr and that I can travel through the nine realms without the Bifröst... The tears of Bergelmir under my eyes mean that I am related to the most powerful Frost Giant from the past." and he continued. 

 

The back of his hand and the sign of claws, decorated rings around his chest showed that he was royal. Ornaments all over his arms meant his various abilities. Illusions, controlling ice and water, fighting skills, shape shifting. Every single one had a different meaning though Loki didn't tell him everything. He didn't tell him about the patterns on his thighs and his stomach for they carried secrets about his body. This was nothing he'd tell anyone who wasn't close to him. 

 

"That is incredible..." Baldr finally said and dared to reach out and brush over one of the markings at his shoulder. 

 

"They're a bit rougher than the rest of your skin. Almost like callused skin." he mentioned with a light frown.

 

But before Loki could say anything else, he could see Thor approaching them with fast and long steps. 

 

"Brother!" Baldr said even if Thor didn't even bother to look at him. 

 

"I have been looking for you, Loki. I hope my brother is not bothering you?" his tone was pleasant, but he knew that if he told him to get rid of Baldr, Thor would not hesitate to force him to leave.

 

"He is not. He asked me about the markings and what they mean." Loki answered and looked at Baldr for a moment before he turned back to Thor. 

 

"It is truly interesting." Baldr interrupted them. "Some of our academics would kill for such information. You know we've been trying to figure something out about those meanings for centuries but the Giants were never willing to tell us anything about it. Look at this..." he said and gently turned Loki's face around, brushing over the crown with his thumb. "The future king. A relation to Bergelmir..." 

 

Loki slapped his hand away slightly angry. "I can tell him myself some day if he's interested." he snapped.

 

"I think it's time for you to go now, Baldr," Thor said, his voice carrying just the slightest hint of a threat. "I believe Loki has been patient with you long enough."

 

Loki could see that Baldr didn't really want to go but in the end, he let out a sigh, almost yielding. 

 

"Fine." he said and looked at Thor for a few more seconds before he left the two of them alone. 

 

The prince frowned at him and waited until he was out of sight before he turned to look at Thor again. 

 

"Is he always that excited about learning about new things? I actually thought about making him go away but Odin said that I'm no longer welcome here if I do anything against your family or your kin with my magic so..." he said with a light shrug and jumped off of the balustrade to lean against it instead. 

 

Thor didn't look really pleased with what just happened but Loki couldn't figure out why. There was no reason to be angry after all. Or was it because of Baldr? Loki couldn't see why he could be mad at his own brother. He didn't do anything besides asking him about these markings. So why was Thor looking at him like that? 

 

"Are you alright?" he finally asked. 

 

"Do you not see it?" He turned his head to the side. Loki couldn't figure out what it was that was hanging between them. Something bothered Thor but Loki couldn't name it and he was frustrated that he was so bad at reading people. 

 

"Loki, he's treating you like an animal, like something he should be studying."

 

"He is?"

 

Baldr had been interested but Loki didn't think about it that way. He'd been here for a day and there were other things in his mind so he didn't have the time to think about why Baldr was so curious. But maybe it was not just Baldr. After all he heard the warriors when they fought. He saw the way they looked at him and it was not really a secret that Æsir and Frost Giants didn't like each other in the slightest. They all probably thought that he was an animal. His father told him the Æsir were animals too. Brainless, cruel. Real monsters they should fight so Loki guessed it was the same with the Æsir. How could he possibly know that the books in Ásgarðr didn't say the same about Frost Giants? It was possible that Baldr was not the only one whose thoughts worked like that and Thor was just an exception because he was raised in Jötunheimr.

 

"Do you think I should disguise myself to fit in?" Loki then suggested carefully. "I'm a shape shifter. Maybe it would be easier if your people didn't know what I really am." he continued. And he really meant it. Loki didn't know if he could stop himself from fighting back one day when the others would keep looking at him like that. 

 

"Disguise yourself?" Thor gave him a confused look. "What do you mean? You would... make yourself look Æsir?" 

 

"Yes." Loki answered with a nod. 

 

He could understand that Thor was confused by his suggestion. There was a lot Thor didn't know about him - and there was a lot Loki didn't know about Thor. He wondered how long it would take until they knew everything about each other. And he really wanted to get to know him. And he was willing to wait as long as it would take. It was still weird though - having those feelings without knowing anything about him... 

 

"It's the same with us you know... We are taught that Æsir are cruel animals so it's not a surprise that the Æsir think the same way about us... That's why I am hardly angry at the way Baldr looks at me. It is annoying, but I am not angry." the prince shrugged and looked at the sky again for a few moments. The sun was already visible at the horizon and Loki enjoyed the many different colours that played at the sky. 

 

"So I thought that this is easier. Maybe. But I wanted to ask you first." 

 

Taking a step closer to Loki, Thor put a gentle hand on Loki's shoulder. 

 

"I do not want you to turn into something you are not. This..." He looked down at his own body. "This is my true form." 

 

With a soft smile, he lifted his hand and put it against Loki's neck. "And this is yours. I do not want you to change it." 

 

Loki held his breath when Thor touched him again. He was still not used to it but because it was Thor it was alright. He enjoyed it because it was Thor who touched him. The confusion still didn't leave him completely but he felt so comfortable around him that he doubted that the healers woke up feelings within him that weren't there from the beginning. This was what he truly felt even if the memories were lost and Loki couldn't tell for sure that they would come back. But he wanted this to happen so badly and it was frustrating to know that he couldn't do anything about it. And even more - he hoped Thor wouldn't regret letting him stay here. Laufey would come to get him and the Casket in a few days and Loki was not sure if this would end without blood. 

 

"Alright." he said and felt goose bumps on his skin when Thor moved his hands to touch his neck gently but assertive. 

 

"Do you know what I always wanted to do?" Loki suddenly said and pushed himself off of the balustrade. He raised his arms and put them on Thor's shoulders, holding onto his shirt. Without any further warning, because he knew Thor wouldn't forbid him he jumped, supporting himself by pushing himself up even more on Thor's shoulders. He then wrapped his legs around Thor's waist, hooking his feet behind his back. 

 

"I've seen many others being carried like that and it always looked kind of nice." 

 

There was a smile on Thor's lips that suddenly faded and Thor was utterly tense in this moment. He didn't move and Loki wondered if something was wrong. 

 

"This is what you've always wanted to do?" Thor asked, obviously very hesitant.

 

 

Loki frowned a little and nodded. "Yes." he replied. 

 

Why was Thor confused? He seemed somewhat irritated by what he just did though he couldn't quite pinpoint why exactly that was. 

 

"Being carried. I was never carried before so... yes, this is one of the things I always wanted to try." Loki explained. 

 

But then it crossed his mind that this may be uncomfortable for Thor. Yes, they knew each other - or rather Thor knew him for quite some time now but maybe he got too close? Because he was never allowed to be touched by someone, he still was not sure where the boundaries were. He could still remember the times where his servants brought dinner and new clothes into his chambers when he got out of the bath one day and the servants quickly looked away so they wouldn't see him naked. Maybe it was the same with this? Those who were used to touches probably thought different of it. 

 

"I... I have to confess Loki that... I'm not entirely sure..." Thor started, licking his lips and swallowing audibly. "...what the purpose of this is."

 

Actually yes - he expected exactly this. Though when Thor then said that he wasn't sure what the purpose of this was, Loki was sure that he was uncomfortable. That he just did something that was inappropriate and so he pulled back, letting himself down. He took a step back to bring a bit of distance in between them again. So Thor was not comfortable with him being so close to him. Apparently, carrying someone around was not something one did on a regular basis. Maybe they needed to be closer to do this. He remembered the scenarios he'd watched - maybe they had been couples? And it was just something couples did. Loki was well educated and he was intelligent. He knew so many books by heart, he knew about so many things but now that he thought about this... he realised just how well Laufey managed to keep Loki away from things like that. Friendships, love, intimacy and togetherness in bed. It was frustrating that he knew so much and yet so little. And now there was another thing that was new to him. He felt embarrassed. So the best thing probably was to just change the subject. 

 

"Can you show me where I can take a bath?" 

 

"Of course." Thor immediately answered. 

 

The fact that Thor didn't say anything else towards this topic either just made it clear that he was right. So Thor didn't like to be touched too much? Or was it just this particular thing he shouldn't do? He didn't know for sure so instead of thinking about it too much to be good he just decided to not touch him again - unless he would ask him to. Maybe Thor just liked to touch others but wanted to keep distance anyway? Loki certainly never thought that something like this could be that confusing. 

 

"Follow me."

 

Without saying anything, Loki followed Thor back into his chambers and into the large bathroom. Even the bathroom was incredible and it was just as large as Thor's bedroom. Bright and with white marble everywhere. 

 

"Would you like me to find you some new clothes to wear?" Thor asked and Loki gave him a nod.

 

"Sure."

 

New clothes would probably be better than what he was wearing. Not that his own clothes bothered him but if he'd stay here for a while he would need new clothes anyway so why not start now? After all he would stay at least a week - then Laufey would come here. And what would happen then was something entirely different. But instead of just undressing and going to the water like he used to do it back at home, he stayed exactly where he was, looking at Thor as he waited for him to leave. He figured he wouldn't like it if he'd behave like he was used to. 

 

"I will wait for you outside then."

 

And with that, Thor left him alone in the large bathroom.

 

As soon as Thor was gone, he undressed and threw his clothes on the floor. Looking around for a moment to make sure no one was there he raised his hand to cool down the hot water with his magic until it had a nice temperature for him. He let himself slide into the water, diving down completely. Though he didn't remain there for long. He still didn't feel completely comfortable in this realm and even if he knew that no one would attack him, he felt better as soon as he was above the surface again. Loki washed himself properly and leaned back afterwards to relax a little. 

 

Right now he wished he was back in Jötunheimr. Embarrassment was terrible and he never thought it would be that unpleasant to feel this. He probably should not be too bothered by what he'd done - but it was. And the fact that it indeed bothered him made it even worse. 

 

After a few minutes he got out of the cold water again, dried himself and his long hair a little before he used the towel to wrap it around his hips, leaving the bathroom to go back to Thor's chambers. 

 

"Don't look." he said before pushing the door open completely and walking in. 

 

He moved to the bed where he immediately located the prepared red shirt with some stitched ornaments. When he touched it, it felt smooth and soft and its colour was almost the same as his eyes. He looked at the tunic for a while before putting it on, letting the towel fall to the floor. 

 

"Okay. I'm done." he said once he'd dressed. The shirt was a little too big but he didn't mind. They were almost the same height, the only thing that didn't quite fit was the part of the shoulders since Thor was a lot more muscular than him. 

 

"It suits you." Thor answered when he looked at him again, smiling widely.

 

"Thank you." Loki said and looked down at himself. 

 

He liked the shirt and not only because it was beautiful but because of the fabric as well. It was so soft and felt completely different in comparison to the clothes he was used to in Jötunheimr. And he already had the best there was back in the palace. Again he realised just how different their kingdoms were. He hoped he was able to adjust to this life. Not that he hated it here. And he knew he was safer in Ásgarðr. He was loved even just by one person. If he returned to Jötunheimr he would be lied to and used again but he could not help it. Maybe this was the very faint glimpse of hope that was still there and hoped that this was all just one big misunderstanding... Shaking those thoughts off Loki concentrated on the present again. Maybe he would enjoy his stay more if he knew what he was supposed to do now. 

 

"What are you doing the whole day?" Loki asked. 

 

Did he still train all day? Or did he go around to have fun with his new friends? Was there something Loki could do as well? Otherwise it could turn out to get pretty boring.

 

"I usually spend quite a few hours training with my friends. And of course training with Mjölnir sometimes. I perform my duties as a prince, I go to council meetings, I study Asgardian culture and history... Sometimes I go with my friends to one of the local taverns. They show me around and introduce me to the people..." Thor explained, going quiet afterwards.

 

It sounded so different from the life he knew. They were both princes but they lived a very different life. He did whatever he wanted to. He could go wherever he wanted to and when he wanted to do it. As soon as there was a task Thor seemed to have to do it. Political meetings even. It was weird to think that Thor was involved with all of this. His own father never let him attend those meetings. He was interested in what was going on in his realm but if he was honest... he didn't know anything about it. Thor did. He was a true prince and his father probably already prepared him for his duties as a king. And he still trained and went out with his friends - something had never done before either. Going out for a drink with friends. To think about this was nice but if he tried to imagine this situation... he couldn't imagine anything. He didn't have any friends except Thor so there was not really a reason to imagine something like this. 

 

Quickly standing up, he suddenly walked over to Loki. "I want to show you something."

 

"What?" Loki asked but stood up anyway to follow him whenever Thor chose to go.

 

"It's a surprise." Thor answered and winked at him. "Come on, it is not far from here."

 

Loki blinked in confusion and pulled back a little, frowning. Why did he blink? Did he have something in his eyes? Loki wasn't sure but since Thor didn't say anything he didn't ask him about it. 

 

Loki wondered where Thor was leading him. The palace was so big and it seemed as if it would never end. There was one hallway after another and Loki knew if he wouldn't have such a good sense of orientation he would probably get lost in an instant. It took them quite a while and during their way to the little surprise Loki didn't say anything at all, he just walked behind Thor and it felt a bit weird. Loki was used to walking in front of people but now it was the other way round and he wondered if it would always be like this if he stayed here in Ásgarðr. 

 

"Would you close your eyes for me?" Thor asked and Loki pressed his lips together, holding his breath. But he closed his eyes anyway and could feel Thor taking his hand in his own.

 

It sounded like a door was opened and he took a few steps forward before Thor stopped him.

 

"Okay, you can look now."

 

The prince opened his eyes at the light squeeze, and for a moment he could've sworn it was a fake. But these halls were real and Loki couldn't remember anything as big as this room. The shelves were reaching up to the ceiling and Loki could hardly see the end. The shelves were made out of dark wood and the large windows lightened up the room, the coloured glass causing the light to make everything shine in the most beautiful colours. He'd never seen that much books on one spot and he let go of Thor's hand, taking a few steps forward. A library. A _beautiful_ library.

 

"I've never seen anything like this before..." Loki whispered. 

 

"I thought you might like it. It is bigger than the one in Jötunheimr. And... I haven't even had a chance to explore the place here yet."

 

There were so many books here that it would need way more than just one life to read them all. And it was so quiet. He could recall the sound of the wind that came in through the broken windows in the library in Jotunheim but this... there was nothing. It was completely quiet and Loki couldn't help but let out a short laugh as he continued to walk into one direction with no aim in mind. He just wanted to explore this place and see how long it would take to see all of it. 

 

 

Loki continued to walk onward, not even realising that Thor followed him at first. Though he heard his footsteps so he figured Thor followed him. There were many books he had never heard before and languages he couldn't speak but on the other hand there were many books he knew. And he knew many languages so there was even more to do than anticipated. Loki could imagine himself spending hours and hours just sitting here in this library, reading books. Some of them were very old and back in Jotunheim those books were battered, old and almost not in the state to be read. But these books here were brilliant. They looked new and Loki wanted to know how they did it. Was it just because Ásgarðr was richer and could care for something like this more? He didn't know for sure. 

 

It took him quite some time but after turning around different corners he went faster, aiming for a specific shelf. He'd figured out where which kind of books were so once he knew - it didn't take him much longer to find what he was looking for. He reached up, pushing himself up a little until he finally reached the book he was looking for. It was an old book and back in Jötunheimr.. they had it as well but half of it was missing so he had never been able to find out how the story in it ended - not until now.

 

Turning around again, Loki could see that Thor was already there as well and he smiled at him.

 

"Half of the story is missing in Jotunheim so I was hoping I'd find it here." Loki said, holding up the book he just got.

 

And with that, Loki moved over to one of the sofas. They looked completely comfortable and when he lay down on one of it Loki noticed that they were just as comfortable as they looked. They were soft and gave in a little when he jumped on them. And it was so bright. Everything was shining golden and beige and red and Loki loved the atmosphere in this library. Not that he didn't like the one in Jötunheimr but... this was even better. Way better to be honest. It was a nice change and he quickly realised that he could get used to this. And now that he had a book in his hands Loki almost fell back into the way he acted back home. 

 

Without caring for what Thor might do or say, he lay back and held the book in front of his face, opening it right where he left off about thirty years ago so he could finally finish the story he started back then. 

 

Loki had no idea how long it took him to read the rest of the book. He was caught in the story from the beginning and now that he finally continued to read it... he was caught in it again. It was fascinating and the more he read, the more he was in love with the story. Though once he finally reached the end after what felt like an eternity he looked up and was rather sad. He didn't cry but he was close to it. The story had a sad end and he didn't think it would end like that. In his own mind he often continued the story on his own but it was completely different from what he just read. 

 

"She dies in the end." Loki suddenly said and lowered the book, looking at the ceiling. 

 

"She was a shabby mountain troll and she offered the king so many things if he'd marry her. But because she was neither human nor beautiful he refused and... she said that she could've been freed of her curse if he would've said yes to her proposal. And then she dies while she runs back into the mountain, crying." he said, summing the story up in a few sentences.

 

"...Are you all right?"

 

"No." Loki almost immediately said. "I've waited thirty years to read this and... well I was hoping this book would end... different. I thought they would marry in the end." he explained and sat up, still looking at the book. 

 

There was even a picture of both of them on the cover and it was bound in red, smooth leather. He still liked the book but the ending was not really like he thought it would be. He was not really pleased with the ending but of course there was nothing he could do about it. Of course not, it was an ancient tale. Letting out a sigh he put the book next to him and looked at Thor. 

 

"It is foreshadowed that the troll is actually a beautiful woman who's been cursed but the king doesn't see it and just hates her, no matter what she does. But he could've found his true love with her. He just couldn't see it." Loki continued and shook his head in the end. He was not even sure if he was interested in this. 

 

"How long did we stay here?" he suddenly said and looked around, only now realising that he might've read for too long.

 

"I'm not sure. Not too long, I think."

 

Then, Thor slowly let himself sink down next to him on the sofa, looking at the book for a moment before he turned his eyes towards Loki.

 

"If he judged her because of her appearance, and could not look past it in order to see who she really was, then it sounds as though it was his loss." 

 

Slowly, he moved his hand on top of Loki's. 

 

"He should have treated her the way she deserved to be treated. Marrying her would have been the right thing to do." He tilted his head to the side. "I'm sorry the book did not end the way you had hoped it would."

 

"It's okay." 

 

He remained calm and didn't move when he could feel Thor's hand on his own. He looked down at their hands for a moment and held in a sigh. So he didn't have anything against touching him now? Or did he just do this to comfort him? Loki was not sure but he wouldn't question it either. He remained still until his stomach started growling. He looked down - obviously surprised and put his free hand on top of his belly. He had been so lost in the book that he didn't even notice that he was getting hungry. And now that he had been pulled back into reality he finally noticed and looked at Thor again. 

 

"Can we go and get something to eat?" 

 

"Of course. We can go back to my chambers and I will have food brought there. I hope you will enjoy Asgardian breakfast."

 

Loki stood up along with Thor and followed him back again, walking a few steps behind Thor because he was a lot slower since he was always looking around and out of the windows. He was just so fascinated by this realm and he wanted to see more of this beauty. More of those golden lights and the plants and trees. The grass and the houses. But he already knew that he still had to wait a lot before he could move around freely one day. Eventually. After all he was not sure how all this would turn out, there was still the possibility that he would be killed, thrown in prison or brought back to Jötunheimr. 

 

But this was not the place to think about things like this right now. So Loki pushed this thought away and concentrated on following Thor again. He hurried after him and tried to ignore the gaze he got from the servants they passed. Though they had to stop at some point because Thor ordered one of the servants to bring something to eat into Thor's chamber.

 

He was glad when they were finally back in Thor's chambers again. He loved Ásgarðr's beauty but he didn't feel very good around the other Aesir. He just hoped he'd get used to this. He stopped walking almost in the middle of the room and nodded at his words. 

 

"I'm sure I will." Loki finally replied, not sure if Thor still knew he was replying to his previous words. "I've read about Asgardian food a few years ago so... I'm eager to try it." 

 

"It's not that different. We eat a lot more meat here, though. And we have a lot more to choose from."

 

And then, there was already a knock on the door. A servant girl with blond hair entered, pushing a tray with plenty food inside. She was pretty and Loki smiled at her. But instead of a nice smile in return, the girl just looked at him with a skeptical frown, trying not to get too close. It was frustrating and Loki had to admit that it bothered him more than he thought it would. He didn't want to be looked at like that all the time. He was used to a respectful - and even fearful expression on the other one's faces when he came near them but this was something completely new. He couldn't even find the proper word for it because he couldn't look inside their heads unfortunately. Was it hate? Disgust even? 

 

"Oh- that reminds me..." Thor started, closing the door behind the girl again when she left. "I never asked you what happened to Ragna. Is she all right?"

 

"Ragna?" he asked and shook his head a little confused. He was sure he heard the name right and he tried to think of someone with that name... but he couldn't think of someone. "I don't know anyone with that name."

 

"Are you sure?!" Thor asked and it was obvious that he was unsettled by his reply. "She was your servant. She..." he looked away from him, frowning as he stared out of the window.

 

Loki nodded. "Yes, I'm sure."

 

.Thor looked like he was deeply worried about whoever Ragna may be. He didn't know anyone who was named Ragna. And he certainly didn't know a servant with that name. He didn't know any servants by name so... why would this one be different? Depending on the fact that Thor told him the truth... Though Loki doubted he made this up just now. He looked genuinely worried. 

 

"I don't know who you are speaking of." Loki added while he watched Thor. 

 

He probably feared that she was... dead? And if Loki knew her as well it was only kind of logical that Laufey got rid of her or at least made sure that she wouldn't talk to him any longer. 

 

"I thought Heimdallr can see anyone? Why didn't you ask him?" 

 

"Because I did not think she would be in danger." Thor answered immediately. He turned around from the window and stood up again. "I will go ask him right now. I cannot just sit here and do nothing. You may stay here and eat your breakfast if you wish."

 

Without even waiting for a response, Thor left the room.

 

He was curious about this person. If she'd been his servant... Loki probably knew her. But how well did they know each other and for how long? Loki hoped Thor would either tell him or his knowledge would come back in time. Five days and Laufey would come and get him and the Casket. He was scared when he thought about this. It would be much easier if he'd just open a portal and return home by himself, telling him that he'd been touched and the Casket wouldn't help them any longer. That he'd have to wait until the next sorcerer was born. He didn't want this beautiful realm to be destroyed. 

 

Loki remained on the bed and looked at the food on the large plate while he was waiting for Thor to return, hoping it wouldn't take too long. There were so many different things he'd never seen before and he was eager to try all of them. But he'd wait for Thor. 

 

Looking up when the door was opened about five minutes later, he already thought that Thor was back already but he wasn't - instead four people entered the room. A woman and three men - Loki knew neither of them. 

 

"Hello." the woman said and showed him a smile when she came near. 

 

"We already guessed that you are here. I am Sif. These three are Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg." she announced and pointed at the others. 

 

Now he knew their names but... Loki was still not sure what they intended to do by coming here. 

 

"Who are you?" he asked, not meaning their names. 

 

He remained on the bed, arms crossed in front of his chest. 

 

"We are Thor's friends and wanted to see you. The whole palace knows that the Jötun prince is here and we wanted to see it with our own eyes." Volstagg answered.

 

"Though we expected you to be... taller." Fandral added with a chuckle. 

 

Loki just frowned and licked his lips a bit nervously. "Well now you've seen me. The door is over there. I am waiting for Thor." the prince replied and Sif sighed, sitting down on the bed next to him, not caring that Loki shifted away from her. 

 

"We wanted to make sure you are alright so stop being unfriendly." she said with a firm voice and Loki had to admit that she had kind of an intimidating charisma. 

 

He certainly felt a huge respect for that woman rising inside his chest. He could practically see that she was good and he was amazed that a woman was obviously - judging by her armor - considered a warrior in Ásgarðr. She must be strong. She did not even seem to be bothered by the fact that she said something like this to him even if he was the prince. 

 

"You cannot tell me what to do." he replied stubbornly. 

 

Sif laughed and looked at her friends briefly before Loki could see that she looked at him again. 

 

"But I can ask you to be nicer. We didn't do anything to you." she argued. 

 

Loki hated to admit that she was right. Up to now they seemed to be nice. But despite that, he remained silent. There was nothing to talk about with them so he saw no reason to say more than necessary. 

 

"You are wearing Thor's clothes." Hogun noticed. 

 

"Yes." the prince replied, not looking at him. 

 

"So it is true? There are rumors that you were really close." Fandral added curiously. 

 

Loki let out an annoyed sigh. "I can't remember. Why don't you ask him instead of me? I thought you're his friends. Not mine." 

 

"Loki, I have good news, I---" Thor suddenly interrupted them and all five looked at the door that was opened with a lot of enthusiasm. Well this was fast. Apparently, Ragna was fine because otherwise... Thor would've taken much longer, Loki was sure of it.

 

"I don't remember telling the three of you to come to my room," he said, tilting his head at the warriors before turning his eyes to Sif. At once, there was a smile on his lips, and he bowed his head at her. 

 

"Lady Sif. May I ask what you are doing in my room? Did they drag you in here, or did you drag them?" 

 

Sif opened her mouth to answer, but did not have time to say anything before Fandral had walked over to him and put his arm around his shoulders. 

 

"You know, Thor, I have misjudged you. You are a lot more like me than I first thought." 

 

"I am not entirely sure what you are referring to." 

 

"Well, look around you, my friend," Fandral said with a big smile. "First, you tell us you are concerned about some woman you met in Jötunheimr, and you tell us she is beautiful. Then, you come in here and the first thing you do is flirt with the gorgeous Lady Sif over here." He motioned towards her, and Thor glanced over at her before looking back at Fandral. "And not only that, but you have the prince of Jötunheimr in your chambers, wearing one of your shirts!" Fandral let out a loud laugh, looking absolutely thrilled about the situation. "There were rumours the two of you were close, but I did not think you were this close." he continued, patting Thor on the back.

 

Loki frowned when Fandral started to talk to Thor like that. He said that Ragna was beautiful and they missed each other. And that he was now flirting with Sif. Was he? Not that Loki was jealous. He did not know Thor and he was not attracted to him. At least he thought he wasn't. After all he didn't know what would happen if he would get his memories back. And Thor? Fandral kind of said that Thor and Loki spent the night together. Why would he say that?

 

Thor shook his head at Fandral and let out a sigh. 

 

"I believe you got it all wrong, my friend," he tried to tell him, but Fandral patted his back again. 

 

"Nonsense. I know my own kind when I see them. You should come with me to the tavern. Just the two of us. I'll introduce you to some of my favorite maidens. That is, unless the prince would mind?" 

 

Fandral raised his eyebrows at Loki. "Or perhaps Sif would be the one to mind? I mean, obviously the two of you are not exclusive, but I wouldn't want to get you into trouble." 

 

"Be careful Fandral! Who knows what happened last night?" Volstaag laughed and patted his shoulder. "Though I doubt Odin would approve... you know. He already dreams of grandchildren." he added. 

 

This made Loki frown even more. Grandchildren... he didn't think that Thor would want to do that now. He still seemed young and restless. 

 

"And he can't do that with the prince even if he is indeed beautiful." Fandral said and Loki felt a little angry. 

 

They were talking about him like he was not in the room. And they sounded like they did not know anything at all about him. 

 

"Who says he cannot do that with me?" Loki suddenly said, arms still crossed in front of his chest.

 

Literally everyone went silent and turned around to stare at Loki. It was literally dead silent for a couple of seconds and Loki couldn't help but feel like this was a small victory for him. In the end, it was Fandral who managed to open his mouth again, letting out a nervous chuckle.

 

"But... you're obviously male. Of course you cannot have children. That's not possible."

 

Apart from the fact that Loki thought it was first of all way too early to talk about something like this and second of all highly impolite... he wanted to make sure they knew how things worked. It was incredibly rude for them to talk like this. Loki had no memories of Thor. He had no memories of their relationship. He didn't even know how friendship or love or any of that felt like and they were talking with him about such delicate matters. Loki almost couldn't believe Thor was friends with people like this.

 

"I never said I was a man." Loki replied, shrugging.

 

"So you are a woman?" Sif asked carefully and Loki could see it in their eyes that all of them were pretty confused.

 

"No." Loki said, which made them even more confused.

 

"So what? You can have children but you are not a woman?" Fandral added again and Loki could hear the blatant curiosity in his voice.

 

"Yes I can. But I don't think that is your business. Besides, Thor and I were about to eat breakfast."

 

And he meant it. It was not something he wanted to reveal but hearing them talking like this, hearing their ignorance... it was annoying. It was highly offensive. So he decided to tell them anyway. Prove them that despite their knowledge they knew so little about Jötunheimr and about him.

 

Thor finally nodded and looked at the others. 

 

"Loki is right, my friends. We were just about to have breakfast. It is time for you to leave. I will see you later," he said, nodding his head at the three warriors when they passed him. 

 

Meeting Sif's eyes, he gave her a small smile, putting his hand on her shoulder for a few seconds, giving it a gentle squeeze, before finally closing the door behind them. 

 

"You must forgive them." He turned around to look at Loki. "I do not think they meant to be intrusive, they are simply not used to having Jötuns around. They know almost nothing of their culture... or biology."

 

Loki had to admit that he was glad that the others finally left. He didn't like to be asked so much and so directly and now that they were gone he was a bit more relaxed and let out a relieved sigh. 

 

"If they didn't mean to be intrusive then why were they?" Loki asked and shook his head. He looked up to him and licked his lips a little nervously. "It's not _their_ biology. It is _my_ biology." he explained a little unsure. "The others are all normal. Male or female. I am both. To make sure I can have children and the magic abilities will be given to the next generation no matter if I decide to lie with a man or a woman." 

 

"I know. I looked like a Jötun for a big part of my life and I was all male... I know your... condition is not common." Thor made a short pause and walked over to him again, sitting down. "I know Laufey was planning on... sacrificing you for the Casket, but if that had not been his plan, and he would have trained you to become the next king... Do you think he would have wanted you to marry a man or a woman?"

 

Loki had to admit that he was not quite sure why everyone seemed to be interested in him. And Thor as well though this was less surprising considering their history together. 

 

"I don't know and I don't care. He kept me away from this subject as best as he could. I even thought each Jötun was like me for many years." he answered without being completely sure why he was even telling him this. But despite some things that he didn't understand about him and his behaviour - he trusted Thor.

 

"Was he right? I mean Fandral." he suddenly asked. "He indicated that you would take me to bed."

 

Thor looked utterly surprised. His jaw dropped open and then he closed it again. He seemed confused and Loki was confused as well because he didn't know why Thor was so taken aback by his question. It was a completely normal question after all. 

 

"Actually, I believe he indicated that I had already taken you to bed. I suppose he saw my shirt on you and jumped to conclusions." 

 

Almost immediately, Thor moved over to the table and sat down on one of the chairs. "Please, sit. I believe we were about to have breakfast." 

 

This was not really an answer he wanted to hear but... Thor didn't seem to want to talk about this anymore. Loki hoped he didn't make him uncomfortable. But in fact he was glad that they didn't have to continue this conversation. At least not now - maybe his mind would change once he got his memories back.

 

Considering that because they had done relatively much this morning already... he figured it wasn't even a breakfast anymore. It was probably more like an early-afternoon-snack. Something like this. But Loki followed him to the table anyway. 

 

"Of course. Breakfast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story Loki is reading in this Chapter is an old Swedish ballad.  
> You can read it here: 
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herr_Mannelig
> 
> I just changed the End of this a bit. Instead of destroying the entire village of the king I let her die. (yeah shame on me sorry)  
> A German music group even made a song out of this in case you're interested c: !
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkX1iNUq6Jw
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finally starts to open up to Thor and he starts to really enjoy the thought of showing Loki just how wonderful life could be, if he'd just stay with him in Asgard.
> 
> Also, Fandral starts flirting and Thor gets jealous.

Thor still couldn't believe it. 

 

_"I believe you."_

 

Loki actually believed him. That meant not everything was lost. He could bring him back, he knew it. And he would make Laufey pay for what he'd done to him. He would make him pay for everything and he would make sure that he would never hurt Loki again. It was of course still painful to look into Loki's eyes and not finding any recognition there. But to hear that Loki believed him... It was a start. They could work on this and to hear that not all hope was lost meant more than anything to him in this moment. He had thought Loki was dead and now they had the chance together. Thor at least hoped as much. He wished Loki would want to stay here. 

 

_"You watched over me while I was asleep?" ___

__

__Yes. Of course he had done this. Admittedly for various reasons._ _

__

__Loki had asked him to watch over him while he was asleep. He'd asked him to make sure he was safe. It had been his job to make sure he was safe, when he was awake and asleep of course. But he'd also watched him because he hadn't been able to take his eyes off of him. Loki was beautiful and he was still beautiful. Even more so because of the wonder in his eye. Ásgarðr was new to him and he looked at this realm with an open heart and curious eyes and Thor thought it was wonderful and beautiful. He wanted to show him everything. He wanted to make him see what life could be like. What he'd been missing all his life and what he could have should he decide to stay here._ _

__

___"You can sleep next to me."_ _ _

__

__He must be dreaming. It was more than he ever hoped he'd get to experience. Having Loki so close to him was even better than it had been in his imagination. He was so close that his skin prickled and the tiny hairs on his skin reacted, making his whole body tickle with excitement. It was something so simple yet it was utterly incredible for Thor. He'd dreamed about it. He'd thought about Loki every single day ever since he came back to the realm eternal... And now he was lying next to him, so close that he could even feel his breath on his own skin._ _

__

___"You love me, don't you?"_ _ _

__

__At Loki's question, he tensed up for a moment, because he had not expected to hear those words from him. Also, he wasn't entirely sure what Loki meant. Did he mean it romantically, or as a friend? He couldn't tell a difference. Though maybe the fact that he couldn't tell for sure... maybe the decision had already been made by his mind without him realising it?_ _

__

__And that's when Thor realised that it was true either way. He loved him. He loved Loki._ _

__

__This night, for the first time in a very long time, Thor didn't have any nightmares and slept calmly again._ _

__

__But Loki wasn't there anymore when he woke up. And there was panic boiling up in his stomach and he moved through the hallways quickly, eyes skimming every corner in search for Loki._ _

__

__He wished something else would've been the cause._ _

__

__Seeing Baldr like this with Loki made him furious. He was treating him like an animal. Touching him without real consent and Thor wanted to crush his bones for even daring to think about touching Loki. No one should be allowed to touch him. And the fact that Baldr had been the first one to touch Loki's skin... This made everything even worse and Thor wished it could be undone. But it couldn't._ _

__

__And so who could blame him for being glad that Baldr walked away? He didn't want to see him. He didn't want Loki to see him before things got worse._ _

__

___"This is one of the things I always wanted to try."_ _ _

__

__Oh. This was new for them. They had had awkward moments in the past, but mostly it had to do with the fact that they had not known each other that well. One of them doing something that the other wasn't entirely comfortable with... It was definitely a new one._ _

__

__Feeling Loki's legs around his waist was... Wonderful. It made him feel warm and he could feel his heart jumping with joy, moving faster and he swallowed hard, trying not to get carried away in his thoughts._ _

__

__Thor was not sure what to do about any of this. He did not want to make Loki feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, that was one of the reasons why he did not think it was such a good idea of him to hold on to him like that. After all, it had felt kind of... really good, and Thor would not have wanted a very embarrassing problem to... _arise_. It would have made the entire situation even worse, and he really did not want to do anything that could mess things up between him and Loki, since they were getting along surprisingly well. _ _

__

__So he chose to go for the less awkward solution by carefully telling Loki to please let go again._ _

__

__****_ _

__

__"Is she alive?"_ _

__

__"I already wondered why you didn't come earlier to ask if she is alright. You seemed to be friends with her back in Jötunheimr."_ _

__

__Thor felt kind of guilty when Heimdallr pointed out that he had thought he would have asked about Ragna sooner. He should have. He should have asked about her from the very beginning. She had been a very dear friend, and he should have worried about her. Well, he had worried about her, but since she had been all right the last time he had seen her, he had assumed she was fine. Loki had been covered in blood the last time he had seen him, and that was why he had focused on him._ _

__

__"You don't need to worry. She is alive and she is working for Loki's brothers now. She misses you and wishes to see you again."_ _

__

__He missed her too, and he thought about her often. Perhaps he would be able to see her again, depending on what would happen with Laufey. But for now, he was simply relieved that she was alive and that she was well._ _

__

__"Thank you, Heimdallr. I am very grateful for your help."_ _

__

__****_ _

__

__Loki had experimented with the food during breakfast and Thor thought it was one of the most adorable things he'd ever seen. He simply couldn't take his eyes off of him, being way too fascinated to look away._ _

__

__"Why would you eat something as bitter as that?" Loki asked after he'd taken a bite of the orange._ _

__

__Just as he had expected, Loki tried to take a bite, and Thor laughed at the look on his face._ _

__

__"You are not supposed to eat that part. You peel it, and then you eat what's inside. Try it, and maybe you'll like it more."_ _

__

__It was almost kind of fascinating to watch Loki go through this. Thor knew that he had been in the same position just a few months earlier, though of course it had been a little bit different because he had been expected to like pretty much all of the food that was served, since he was now an Asgardian. Besides, he had tried it out in front of his friends and family, so he'd had quite a few people laughing at him and the different expressions on his face. He'd learnt to enjoy it all, though, and now he couldn't think of any kind of food that he would say no to._ _

__

__"Don't laugh at me!" Loki replied with an almost offended tone in his voice while peeling the orange and pulling one of the pieces apart, putting it into his mouth._ _

__

__"Forgive me," Thor said, forcing himself not to smile too widely. "I meant no disrespect. You simply reminded me of what I used to look like a few months ago when I first tried these things."_ _

__

__He really didn't want to insult Loki in any way, but that look on his face had been priceless, so he could not blame himself too much for laughing at it. He wasn't so much laughing at Loki as he was laughing with him._ _

__

__"I like it." he said, not even replying to his apology. But he smiled and Thor automatically smiled with him._ _

__

__"I figured you would," Thor said, smiling back at him._ _

__

__Still feeling somewhat playful, he reached out and grabbed the piece Loki was about to eat, putting it in his own mouth before Loki had time to protest. It was something he could never have done back in Jötunheimr, but now, with everything that had changed for him, he felt confident enough to do something like that. At least Loki would not be able to have him killed because of it._ _

__

__"You were right. They are delicious."_ _

__

__"I don't know what to reply to that." Loki replied, sounding defeated._ _

__

__He did look rather irritated. He had just stared at him when he'd grabbed the piece of the orange and Thor wondered if he'd done something wrong. Was he really that unfamiliar with jokes and teasing each other? Had he forgotten about playing around with his brothers? He should at least have been used to that, didn't he? Had they never stolen food from each other?_ _

__

__Again, it was kind of sad and endearing at the same time._ _

__

__"You don't have to say or do anything. But if you need some tips, I guess you could steal some of my food." Picking up one of the grapes on his plate, he held it out to Loki._ _

__

__"Though I guess now I'm giving you food. This would not be you stealing it from me. Unless I'm about to put it in my mouth, and you snatch it from my hand." Frowning lightly, he shrugged his shoulders and put the grape in his mouth._ _

__

__"How many of your memories has your father taken from you? Do you not remember playing around with your brothers?"_ _

__

__Loki still looked as if he didn't really understand why he should steal that grape from him. He sat there, hands folded in his lap awkwardly._ _

__

__"Brothers? I have brothers?"_ _

__

__At Loki's words, the smile disappeared from Thor's lips._ _

__

__"He didn't..." he whispered, shaking his head as it dawned on him just how much Laufey had done to his son. "Yes, Loki. You have brothers. I cannot believe he would..."_ _

__

__How could anyone be so cruel? Not only had he been raising his son without letting anyone touch him, he had also been raising him as a pig for slaughter, and now he had taken away the few happy memories Loki had. He was a monster. Thor disliked whenever the Asgardians would use that term for Frost Giants, but this was the one time he would find it okay. And it had nothing to do with Laufey being Jötun. He was not a monster because of that, he was a monster for everything he had done to his own son._ _

__

__"I'm sorry, Loki. I will find a way to get your memories back. I promise you."_ _

__

__"Right now there is nothing to be sorry about. I don't know what I am missing so..." he said and looked down, taking a sip of the milk. "If he comes here in five days I will figure something out. You don't have to do this you know. You're already doing too much already."_ _

__

__Thor shook his head._ _

__

__"I'm not really doing anything. I convinced my father to let you stay, but that is about it. I wish I could do more."_ _

__

__Because he felt responsible for Loki. Maybe it had something to do with being his personal guard, or maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was in love with him, but he felt responsible for Loki, as though he should have been able to prevent this. He knew that was stupid, because there was nothing he could have done to stop Laufey. Well, maybe he could have convinced his father to let him go there and make sure that Loki was all right. Other than that... It was not his fault, and he needed to accept that, but he was still going to do whatever he could to help Loki._ _

__

__"Better than nothing." Loki replied._ _

__

__There was a moment of heavy silence before Loki added: "What did Heimdallr say about Ragna?"_ _

__

__Oh, right. Thor had completely forgotten to tell Loki about Ragna. That was what he had been in the middle of doing when he'd walked in here, but then he'd seen his friends and he had ended up forgetting about the whole thing._ _

__

__"He said she is alive and well. In fact, she is apparently working for your brothers." Thor decided to leave out the part about her missing him and wanting to see him again. It wasn't something Loki needed to know. Besides, Thor felt like it was kind of personal. He wondered if she was missing Loki too, or if she worried about him. After all, she must have known something had happened to him. On the other hand, their relationship had not seemed all that close, but she had still taken care of Loki since he was a small child._ _

__

__"I am not entirely sure what to do about it," he confessed. "I do not know what to do about your father." It was s tricky situation. Obviously Laufey had to be stopped, but should they wait for him to come here? Or should they go to war? It seemed unnecessary to fight with Jötunheimr when Laufey was really the one causing trouble. There had to be a simpler way to end this, if only he could think of something._ _

__

__"If Laufey comes here I will talk to him. He said that I am the only sorcerer in Jötunheimr but... he managed to take away my memories. And to do that you need to perform a spell. So he... has to be a sorcerer as well. At least to a certain extend."_ _

__

__Thor watched Loki for a long moment before speaking up._ _

__

__"Do you really think he will listen to you?" He did not mean to doubt Loki, but he had no reason to believe Laufey would listen to his son. After all, he had never seemed to care about him before, why would he suddenly care about him now? The only one that could possibly make him see reason was probably Odin, but even that seemed unlikely, since Ásgarðr had been Laufey's target all along. To be honest, Thor did not see a way out of it. Somehow, they would have to make sure Laufey could no longer attempt to attack the other realms, and the only way to do that was to kill him or imprison him. Or perhaps they could somehow take away his power. Thor supposed they could put someone else on the throne. If Laufey was no longer king of Jötunheimr, it would be a lot more difficult for him to do something._ _

__

__"I don't know. I hope he will. He has no idea that I'm useless now. So if I tell him I will train for the spell again... I can buy us a couple more years and eventually destroy the Casket. I won't let him attack Ásgarðr."_ _

__

__Thor shook his head._ _

__

__"I don't think it's that easy, Loki. What will you tell him when he asks you what you've been doing here in Ásgarðr for the last few days? Do you truly expect him to believe that during all this time, you were not touched once?"_ _

__

__Laufey may have been a lot of things, but he was not stupid. He would figure it out, and as soon as he realised Loki was no longer of use to him... Could Laufey kill his own son? Could he take that final step? Thor did not know for sure, but even if Laufey did not kill Loki, he would most likely get rid of him somehow. After all, there was no point in keeping him around anymore._ _

__

__"I do not wish to go to war with Jötunheimr, but if your father does not put an end to his plan, we may not have any other choice. My father is not going to allow Laufey to do whatever he wants in Jötunheimr when we all know he is simply waiting for a chance to attack the rest of us. My father will not take that risk."_ _

__

__"What if I go home now? If I go now, he won't be suspicious. One day gone... it's not much. I could say that I didn't know where the Casket was. This wouldn't even be a lie to be fair. Or I could perform a spell and produce an illusion of the Casket. He won't kill me. No matter what he did but... he is my father. He won't kill me."_ _

__

__Again, Thor shook his head. It was a good idea, but he very much doubted it would work. Even if Loki managed to convince Laufey to let him work on the spell, Thor did not think he would be able to convince Odin to let it all go. They would have to trust Laufey not to be planning something while they waited for the Casket to work again, and that was too big of a chance to take. They needed to deal with Laufey now, before it was too late._ _

__

__"Your father may not be suspicious, but mine will be. He will not allow you to go back to Jötunheimr, and he will not allow Laufey to plan our demise without doing something about it. He will want to take care of this as quickly as possible, and without any bloodshed, if that is even possible at this point." Besides, how was Thor supposed to stay here in Ásgarðr and do nothing while Loki was back there with his father? Laufey could very well try something again, and Thor would never be able to stop blaming himself if something happened to Loki when he could have prevented it._ _

__

__"So we are just going to wait for Laufey to come here and invade Ásgarðr?"_ _

__

__Loki sighed and looked down again._ _

__

__"Did your father already tell you what he will do if they are really coming to attack?"_ _

__

__It was becoming more and more clear that Thor really needed to go talk to his father. He needed to know what he was thinking about all of this, since Thor was not king and would not be able to decide what they should do. Maybe his father would be able to come up with a better solution? After all, he had been to war before, he must know how to deal with these things. Thor was still learning. He had only just begun to learn about what kind of duties he had as a prince. All he knew right now was that Laufey could not be allowed to go through with this._ _

__

__"No, he did not. And I have not spoken to him since yesterday. Perhaps I should go see him after breakfast. You are welcome to come along, if you want to. He may wish to speak to you."_ _

__

__His father would probably want to hear Loki's opinion, and perhaps discuss what they would do with him. Either way, Thor doubted it would be a good idea to have Loki stay in here all alone._ _

__

__"If Odin lets me go into the throne room, I could come with you."_ _

__

__Hopefully, the two of them would together be able to convince Odin to come to a relatively peaceful decision. Something obviously had to be done - the question was only what. What could they do? Laufey had to be stopped, and they wanted to avoid a war at all costs. To be honest, though, Thor figured that the one who should be the most interested in not starting a war right now was Laufey. After all, he had no way of using the Casket, and Thor knew enough about the warriors in Jötunheimr to know that they would not stand a chance against the Asgardian warriors. Ásgarðr had a much bigger defense, something that Jötunheimr could never hope to take on, not while they didn't have the Casket. Perhaps his father would not see Laufey as a great threat? Perhaps he would let him be? The biggest reason Thor wanted to get rid of Laufey was because he did not want him to hurt Loki again, and he figured his father would not be as concerned about Loki's well-being as he was._ _

__

__"Very well. We will go to my father as soon as we have finished eating."_ _

__

__"Sounds like a plan."_ _

__

__Thor ate some more fruit, watching as Loki kept on trying new things. He noticed what he reached for next, and ducked his head with a smile, for he knew Loki was going to enjoy it. Something about Loki simply screamed that he would have a thing for sweets. Personally, it wasn't Thor's favourite thing to eat. Granted, he would eat almost anything, but if he had to choose between a boar and some kind of dessert, he would go for the boar._ _

__

__"This is great! What is it?"_ _

__

__Chuckling quietly when Loki said that he liked it, just as he had thought he would, Thor leant forward._ _

__

__"It's called chocolate," he said._ _

__

__"Chocolate." he repeated and gave him a small nod._ _

__

__Then, Thor was reaching out and using his thumb to gently brush away some of the chocolate from the corner of Loki's lips._ _

__

__"...Why didn't you just tell me there was chocolate at the corner of my mouth?" Loki asked, looking seriously irritated._ _

__

__"I don't know," Thor said, leaning back again. "I suppose I wanted to help."_ _

__

__Maybe it should have discouraged him, that Loki objected to what he was doing to him because he did not understand it, but it honestly didn't. He did not think it was a big deal. Loki had never experienced any of this. He had only been touched for the first time yesterday. Of course he would not understand why people liked to hold hands, or why Thor had brushed away the chocolate just now. For him, it was not a sign of affection, and Thor found himself wondering if the Loki he had known back in Jötunheimr would have objected to it just as well. He had been the one to want Thor to hug him, after all, so maybe he was starving for affection in a way that this Loki did not._ _

__

__"Next time, I will tell you," he promised him with a smile, putting his thumb in his own mouth so that he could taste the chocolate._ _

__

__****_ _

__

__"I can't remember telling you to bring him with you, son." Odin said when they stood in front of them, still having a safe amount of meters between them and the throne._ _

__

__"I told the guards to bring him to the healing rooms and he should've stayed there." Odin continued, raising an eyebrow. "But speak your mind, Thor."_ _

__

__If that was all his father was going to say about him taking Loki away from the healing rooms without permission, then Thor was going to consider himself lucky. He had prepared himself for much worse, even though his father had never yelled at him before. He had never had a reason to, because up until now, Thor had never truly done anything that could be cause for scolding._ _

__

__"We wish to know what will be done about Laufey," he said, wondering for a few seconds if perhaps he should have said _I_ instead of _we_. He did not want to make it seem as though Loki was demanding anything from his father. _ _

__

__"You have had some time to think about it. Have you decided anything?"_ _

__

__"Nothing. Laufey knows that he will lose if he dares to attack Ásgarðr now. He won't get the Casket and he knows it. So the next best thing he will be looking for will be his son. And if he comes here to get him back - he will get him. I will not have him live here. You, Thor, are sentimental because you've lived all your life in Jötunheimr and even worked for Loki. But Ásgarðr is your first priority now."_ _

__

__Thor could not believe what he was hearing. Ever since he had first arrived here, he had seen his father as a very wise man. Granted, he had not agreed with every one of his decisions, and he could be a bit stubborn at times, but this... This was not right._ _

__

__"Ásgarðr is my priority, Father. But Ásgarðr will not be harmed by Loki living here. Loki, however, may be harmed if he goes back there. Laufey has already done everything he can to make him a weapon, if he finds out that is no longer possible, he might..."_ _

__

__He could not even finish the sentence, for it was too horrible to even think about. Thor could not allow Loki to go back there, not if there was a chance of Laufey hurting him. He had to protect him._ _

__

__"Please, Father. Let him stay. He will do you no harm."_ _

__

__"Oh I believe you, Thor." Odin said with a sigh but he shook his head. "I know Loki will do no harm. I trust you to know him. And Loki won't do anything but Laufey will. If he wants his son back, he will try to get him back no matter what the cost. I cannot risk the lives of my warriors by letting them fight the Frost Giants to protect the Laufeyson. And you will not risk your life either." he explained. "I've seen Loki fight. He can protect himself. And Laufey may be cruel but he is still a father. He won't kill his own son."_ _

__

__Thor turned his eyes down. He understood. He understood what his father was trying to tell him. It was unfair of him to expect Ásgarðr to protect Loki. Still, he didn't know how he was supposed to stand by and do nothing. Thor would never be able to get Loki out of his head if he was sent back to Jötunheimr, but he didn't know what else to do. Loki couldn't stay. Thor was completely out of answers. He wished it was simple, but it wasn't. In fact, it was probably one of the hardest decisions he had ever had to deal with it._ _

__

__"How do we know Laufey won't try something? He has been planning against Ásgarðr from the very beginning, what if he won't stop?"_ _

__

__That was his only hope. His only hope was to convince his father that Laufey was enough of a threat to be taken down. He saw no other way out of it._ _

__

__"If Laufey attacks us - yes. Then we will fight. But as long as he doesn't do that, I can't just walk into Jötunheimr and slay him. Thor you know that." he answered with a calm voice. "Why are you so obsessed with protecting him? You were fine with the situation once you found out he was alive."_ _

__

__

__Thor wished his father wasn't making sense. He wished he could call him a fool for saying this, but he couldn't, because he was right. And Thor did not know what to do to fix this. He could not let Loki go back to Jötunheimr, but he saw no way of getting him out of it. It felt entirely hopeless, and Thor let out a sigh._ _

__

__"Yes, because I did not think Laufey would be doing this to him. I thought it was all over once he could no longer use the Casket. Now I know what Laufey is capable of, and that is why I cannot let Loki go back there with him. He has shown that he does not care about him at all. I do not know what he would do to him, but I know it cannot be good."_ _

__

__And Thor was aware that Loki was standing right next to him, which was why he did not want to speak like this about Laufey, but he felt like Loki deserved to hear the truth._ _

__

__"I appreciate your good will, son. But Laufey will want to have his son back, no matter his motives. Loki is his son so we are in no position to tell Laufey what to do with him. And as long as you do not come up with a solution for that - you have no choice but letting him go." and with that he turned to Loki.. "Why aren't you saying anything, Loki? Thor said that you both need to talk to me."_ _

__

__Loki raised his head, looking like he was struggling with his words._ _

__

__"Laufey will not rest until I'm back in Jötunheimr to provide the power he needs." he agreed and looked at Thor. "I am sorry, but I have to agree with your father."_ _

__

__Thor sighed. He did not have a solution. He wish he did. More than anything, he wished he had some way of making sure Loki could stay, but he couldn't think of anything. Not even Loki was trying to help him come up with a good argument. He agreed with Odin, and Thor supposed he could understand why. He assumed Loki did not want to cause any trouble, and they all knew Laufey would not be happy about his son choosing to stay in Ásgarðr. Thor felt utterly defeated, and he knew he had lost. He would be forced to watch as Loki went back to Jötunheimr, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He was quite sure that he had not felt this bad in a long time, and he wished it would go away. But it wouldn't. And he would most likely continue to feel this way even after Loki had left, because he would spend every day worrying about him._ _

__

__They were probably expecting him to agree with him, but even if he understood what they were saying, he refused to tell them that he thought Loki going back to Jötunheimr was a good idea. He had also run out of ideas, which meant he really didn't have a way of arguing against them either. Instead, he just stood there, in silence, watching his father without making a move to speak. If this was their decision, there was not a lot he could do to stop them, but he also wouldn't praise them for coming up with it. No matter how much it was the best thing to do, he could not agree with it._ _

__

__"Now Thor... If there is nothing else then the two of you are allowed to leave."_ _

__

__Returning his father's gaze, Thor waited quite a long moment before finally bowing his head again. Turning around, he checked to make sure Loki would follow him, before leaving the room. He didn't say anything on their way back to his room. After all, what was there to say?_ _

__

__Thor felt like a failure._ _

__

__Again._ _

__

__He obviously wasn't able to stop Loki from getting hurt. He knew his father was right, and he of course knew that Loki was right too, but it still annoyed him. He just wanted Loki to stay. And he wanted Laufey out of the way. Now, that did not necessarily mean he wanted him dead, but at least if he was dead, he would no longer be able to do anything to hurt Loki. Thor had never killed anyone before, though, so he was not sure if he would be able to do it. He supposed it depended on the situation. If he was fighting Laufey, he would probably be able to do it, but he could never kill him away from the battlefield when Laufey was defenseless and unprepared._ _

__

__Thor was wondering if perhaps he should go train with his friends. If he did that, he should be able to let go of some of his frustration. Of course, he would also feel bad for his friends because he would be giving them a pretty rough time. He was so angry at this entire situation, and he didn't even know whom to be angry at. Well, he supposed he could be angry at Laufey for starting all of this, but if he got too angry at him, he would probably end up running off to Jötunheimr to confront him._ _

__

__"Did you use this in Jötunheimr as well or is this new?" Loki asked. When Thor turned around, he could see that Loki had found Mjölnir on his bedside cabinet._ _

__

__"Can I lift it? It looks rather pretty for a hammer."_ _

__

__Turning around completely so he could look at him, Thor furrowed his brow._ _

__

__"You have never heard of Mjölnir before? Did your father erase that too?"_ _

__

__He couldn't help but to sound a little bitter. How much of Loki's mind had Laufey done something to? It seemed as though he had done a pretty thorough job. With a sigh, he reached for the hammer and slowly put it down on the floor._ _

__

__"Try it, but I do not think you will be able to lift it."_ _

__

__"I didn't want to ruin your good mood by agreeing with your father. But a king needs to think about what is good for the kingdom first, as well as the crown prince." Loki said and once Thor had put Mjölnir down, he slowly walked towards it_ _

__

__"Why don't you go and train with your friends? I'm sure you'll feel better afterwards." Loki suggested and then sat down on the bed once he stood in front of Mjölnir._ _

__

__It seemed as though even with his memories gone, Loki was still a more responsible prince than he was. Thor had not even considered that Ásgarðr could be in danger if he allowed him to stay here. Perhaps he needed more time. After all, he had only lived here for a few months. But why was he still choosing Loki over his own realm? Probably because he had a personal connection to Loki. He knew him, and he even had romantic feelings for him. He did not know every single person in Ásgarðr. In time, he was sure he would come to be fiercely protective of his people, but it had just not happened yet. Nevertheless, he did see why protecting them was more important than letting Loki stay. It was all about priorities, and his father had been right - Ásgarðr should be his number one priority.  
At Loki's suggestion, Thor thought about it for a moment. _ _

__

__"No," he said shaking his head. "If we only have this short time left together. I intend to spend it with you, and you alone."_ _

__

__Walking over to the bed, he sat down next to Loki. "I am not going to give up." He turned to look at him. "I will make sure Laufey is stopped, one way or another. If he does anything else to you, I do not care if I will have to go to Jötunheimr alone to stop him. He cannot be allowed to play with you like this."_ _

__

__"Don't say that. I already told you I have a plan." Loki replied with a supportive smile._ _

__

__For some reason, hearing that Loki had a plan did not make him feel much better. What if the plan didn't work? There was no telling what Laufey would do to him. Thor had a feeling that he would be spending a lot of time with Heimdallr once Loki had left. He would probably go to him every day, and ask him what was happening in Jötunheimr. He did not care what his father would have to say about it. If Loki was not allowed to stay here in Ásgarðr, then Thor would have to make sure to keep track of him some other way, even if that meant spending a little too much time at Heimdallr's side._ _

__

__He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Loki nudging his shoulder gently. With a light frown on his face, he turned to look at him, wondering why he had done that._ _

__

__"Was that right?" he asked quietly after a few seconds._ _

__

__Thor understood after a single heartbeat of thinking about his question. Letting out a laugh, he threw his head back, smiling widely at Loki. "Yes," he said. "Yes, that was right. Thank you." He put a hand on his shoulder. "See? You are learning."_ _

__

__It was wonderful to realise that Loki actually started trying to support him and to cheer him up._ _

__

__"Good." Loki replied and smiled widely before turning his attention back to Mjölnir._ _

__

__He could not blame him for being curious about it. Most people were, after all. They were intrigued by its power, and his friends had told him that many were envious of his ability to wield it. He understood that. It was a very powerful weapon, and anyone would be so much stronger with it. He certainly was. These days, he had no problem fighting more than ten enemies at once. That was one of the many reasons why he wished Loki would get his memories back, because he wanted to show him how much stronger he was these days._ _

__

__And of course, Loki failed to lift it._ _

__

__"Why can't I lift it? It's just a hammer." he asked, kneeling down next to it to look at the runes._ _

__

__"That is not just a hammer, Loki. You are insulting her." "That is not just a hammer, Loki. You are insulting her."_ _

__

__"I'm insulting _her_?"_ _

__

__"Yes. She has a personality."_ _

__

__Stepping forward, Thor kneeled down and gentle put his hand on top of the hammer, feeling it vibrating underneath his palm._ _

__

__"She is called Mjölnir and she's not for everyone. She is one of the strongest weapons you can ever lay your hands on."_ _

__

__Meanwhile, Loki had managed to read the runes, his mouth forming the words quietly. He was almost whispering but Thor could still hear it._ _

__

__"He who wields... this hammer controls the... lightning and the storm." he said, looking up again. "You can control lightning? And why is it not for everyone?"_ _

__

__"Yes, I can. Well... I'm still learning the control part of it, but I am the god of thunder so... yes, I can wield it. Sometimes, the weather even changes when I'm in a foul mood. And she's not for everyone because you have to be worthy._ _

__

__"Does she decide who's worthy and who isn't?"_ _

__

__"You know... I am not entirely sure. I never asked. They told me I was worthy, I picked up the hammer, and I just accepted it. I never thought about asking who decides that I am worthy. But I can do many things with her. Hitting my enemies is just the easiest one. I have been practicing my aim, because I usually try to throw her. I don't actually have to practice, though, because she always hits the target, but I still want to make sure I know what I'm doing. She may know what she is doing, but I do not."_ _

__

__He gave Loki a soft smile. It had been strange, to suddenly switch to a hammer, and be told that that was the only weapon he needed. Nevertheless, he had used that hammer every day since then, and he had definitely bonded with it. It seemed strange, to bond so strongly with a weapon, but he had._ _

__

__"I can of course summon storms with her. And she always comes when I call for her. She is very loyal that way."_ _

__

__That was probably one of the reasons why he had grown so close to her, because it felt like she was really loyal to him._ _

__

__They remained next to Mjölnir for a while longer and Thor simply looked at Loki who observed her with curious eyes. But then, he had an idea._ _

__

__He supposed it could be nice to show Loki the training grounds, though it would have been even nicer if he'd had his memories, because then Thor would have been able to show him that he was stronger now. Even without that, though, it could still be fun. However, he doubted Loki thought his friends were very nice. After all, they had been quite intrusive, asking all of those questions, but Thor had no doubt Loki would be able to handle himself just fine if they would start asking him questions again._ _

__

__"How about you come down with me? I'd like to show you the training grounds."_ _

__

__Standing up, he grabbed Mjölnir and lifted her up, attaching her to his belt again before walking over to the door._ _

__

__****_ _

__

__"She's going to win." Fandral said but Volstagg shook his head._ _

__

__"I would not be so sure of that. He has been doing well today."_ _

__

__The two of them decided to bet on it. Thor was not surprised because this was far from the first time his friends had betted against each other. Especially when it came down to figuring weather Hogun or Sif would win this fight._ _

__

__"Do you want to play, Thor?" Fandral then asked and looked at him. "And your Jötun friend?"_ _

__

__Thor considered it for a while but then grinned. "I think Sif will win."_ _

__

__Fandral rolled his eyes. "Of course you do. You would never bet against her, would you?"_ _

__

__"Play?" Loki suddenly asked. "You're suggesting who of them is going to win. How is that a play?"_ _

__

__Chuckling, Thor turned to look at his friend. "Yes, Fandral. Explain it to him. How is that a play?"_ _

__

__Fandral looked a little bit confused, as though the concept of not understanding what was so great about placing bets was unimaginable to him._ _

__

__"It is exciting," he said, turning his head to Volstagg for support. "This is just as much of a game as betting on anything else."_ _

__

__."So you're betting. But that is not a game."_ _

__

__At that moment, Sif managed to disarm Hogun, and they all turned to look, forgetting about their discussion. A moment later, Hogun had surrendered, and Fandral cheered._ _

__

__"Time to pay, my friend," he said, putting an arm around Volstagg's shoulders. Volstagg gave him a sour look in return. Laughing, Thor turned back to look at Sif and Hogun. After bowing to her, Hogun went over to join them on the benches, and Sif smiled._ _

__

__"Would anyone else dare challenge me?" Sif asked and Thor raised his eyebrows._ _

__

__"I suppose I could give it a try." with a smile, he stood up, leaving Mjölnir on the ground because he thought it would be unfair to use her in the fight._ _

__

__Thor went over and picked out one of the swords, turning it over in his hands to make sure it felt right, before stepping over to Sif. He met her eyes with a smile, and she smiled back at him. Ever since Thor had started training with them, Fandral had pointed out that they were constantly flirting, and that it was really tiring. Thor and Sif had never acknowledged their fighting to be anything other than fighting, though. So what if they smiled at each other? So what if Thor winked at her before it was time to start? It was all innocent. Well, mostly. It was just a bit of fun, really. He did not think they knew each other well enough for this to be anything serious. In a few years time, then perhaps their relationship could develop into something like that, and Thor could certainly see himself married to someone like Sif, but he wasn't in the place to do it right now. He was a bit too young, and a bit too inexperienced to the life here in Ásgarðr._ _

__

__As soon as they started, the two of them were getting into it. Thor had no problem admitting that Sif was an absolutely brilliant fighter. In fact, she had bested him a couple of times. He was not going to allow that now, though, because he was supposed to be impressing Loki. She wasn't making it easy for him. There were a couple of times when she was definitely close to winning, but Thor was close to winning just as often. Neither one of them managed to do it, though, since the other one was too stubborn. It took him quite a while, but Thor finally managed to find that one weak link, and in a matter of seconds he had Sif on the ground. He smiled widely at her, and she pretended to glare at him before muttering that she surrendered. Reaching out, Thor helped her up, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand before letting it go._ _

__

__"It was an honour to fight you, Lady Sif, as always." She shook her head and nudged his side, and the two of them walked back to the benches._ _

__

__"Well this was one wonderful fight!" Volstagg said with a laugh and patted Sif's shoulder before looking at Thor._ _

__

__"Don't you think you've been a little too harsh with her?" he asked jokingly and winked at him._ _

__

__"I could be even harsher next time," Thor said, smiling over at Sif._ _

__

__Thor only looked away when Loki gently patted his side._ _

__

__"I made a silent bet with myself that you would win." Loki told him so quiet that only he could hear it._ _

__

__He smiled at his words, tilting his head to the side and giving him a somewhat surprised look. Loki had been rooting for him to win? He had not expected that. He had not expected him to root for Sif either, but he had figured Loki would not care enough to hope that he would win. It definitely made him happy to hear, and he could have sworn there were some butterflies in his stomach._ _

__

__"It was certainly entertaining to watch. It took quite a while... You'll have to watch out. Your fighting styles get more and more similar each time." Fandral noticed and tilted his head as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. He looked around and put his hands to his waist._ _

__

__e only glanced over at Fandral for a few seconds, disagreeing but not saying it out loud. He didn't think his fighting style was that similar to Sif. Or was it? Perhaps they were picking up some moves from each other? If so, it was only when he was fighting with a sword. As soon as he picked up his hammer, his fighting style was quite different from the rest of them._ _

__

__"Watching you fight made me want to go there as well. Anyone who wants to challenge me?" Fandral asked and looked around._ _

__

__"I do."_ _

__

__Frowning, Thor turned back to Loki, who had agreed to the offer not even a heartbeat after Fandral had asked them._ _

__

__And he could tell that the other four had also turned to look at him. Loki wanted to fight Fandral? Why? He had never fought anyone before, at least not while Thor had been around. Was he a good fighter? Thor had ever only seen him use his magic, and obviously he would not be allowed to use that now. He had no idea how good Loki would be if he used a weapon. He guessed he would be pretty good, though, since Loki was the type to be... perhaps not the strongest one around, but he was certainly built to be quick and agile, and those two things could certainly make him very difficult to beat._ _

__

__"You?" Fandral said, sounding very surprised. "I... Well, I guess we could give it a try. If Thor doesn't object to it."_ _

__

__Thor shook his head. "Go ahead. It is not up to me to decide whether or not Loki is allowed to challenge you."_ _

__

__Loki followed Fandral towards the middle of their little area after Thor said that it was alright._ _

__

__"Which weapon to you choose? I'm fighting with a rapier." Fandral asked but Loki shook his head._ _

__

__"My hands." he said and Thor could hear Volstagg chuckling loudly._ _

__

__Thor tilted his head to the side when Loki said he was going to use his hands in the fight. It was certainly an interesting choice, but he figured Loki knew what he was doing. Volstagg, however, mumbled something about Loki being crazy, and Thor turned to look at him._ _

__

__"You think Fandral is going to win?" Volstagg nodded his head, and Thor smiled at him. "Five silver coins on Loki." Volstagg watched him for a moment before agreeing, and the two of them turned their eyes back to Fandral and Loki. Thor leaned forward in his seat, resting his head against his hands._ _

__

__They just stood there and stared at each other for a while but then Fandral made the first move. It was a simple sting forward but Loki jumped backwards to evade it. Fandral continued to attack him with stings and tricky maneuvers but Loki dodged them, almost dancing around him._ _

__

__Thor knew what this was. He'd learned about it theoretically._ _

__

__Sword dance._ _

__

__Thor was certain that Loki just wanted to wait and see how Fandral was fighting. And even if Fandral managed to hit Loki six times with the flat side of his sword - Loki continued dodging and evading his attacks for the rest of the time._ _

__

__It was fascinating, really, to watch the way Loki danced around Fandral's attacks. He wondered if Loki had always been this good, or if this was a skill he had perfected after he had left Jötunheimr. Either way, he thought it was absolutely beautiful to watch. He wondered what it would have been like of Loki had used a weapon. Would he still have been as graceful? Did he ever use any weapons? Or was his magic the only thing he would rely on?_ _

__

__It looked graceful and Thor thought it was actually... beautiful to watch._ _

__

__Fandral tried another straight sting and Loki suddenly bent backwards, arching his beautiful back backwards until his hands were at the ground again. Pushing his feet up, he kicked Fandral under the chin with his heel, using the swing to bring his feet to the other side so he was now standing again._ _

__

__Fandral stumbled a few feet backwards, obviously startled by that attack and he was rubbing his jaw._ _

__

__"Nice one." he mumbled and Loki smiled at that compliment._ _

__

__Without waiting, Fandral tried to attack him from the side, taking a step and Loki curled up to roll between his legs so he was now behind Fandral. Supporting himself with his hands, Loki kicked him again, this time to his lower back so Fandral literally face planted into the dirt while Loki pushed himself up again._ _

__

__And when Fandral attacked again, Loki moved to the side, grabbing his wrist firmly to swirl him around just a bit, bending his arm into an awkward position, pushing himself up and around so he could bring his legs up, curling them around Fandral's neck so his head was caught between his thighs. Loki pressed and brought him down, still bending his arm while he pressed his legs together to choke him just so much that he would surrender._ _

__

__Fandral let out a pained groan and held up his free hand._ _

__

__"I give up!!" he said loudly and Loki immediately let go before they both stood up._ _

__

__Thor could tell by the silence that every warrior who had been watching was very impressed. He had gotten the very same silence the first time he had trained here. He felt very proud of Loki, and he figured that this was at least a small step closer to his friends realising that the Frost Giants were not just mindless beasts._ _

__

__"Very impressive," he said loudly, smiling over at Loki as he held a hand out towards Volstagg, motioning for him to pay up._ _

__

__Loki breathed heavily when he stood up, looking at Thor and he could see a happy smile on his lips._ _

__

__"You're a very good fighter." Fandral complimented Loki, patting his back. Then, both came back to where they sat and Loki smiled down at Thor._ _

__

__Thor gave Fandral a suspicious look when he patted Loki on the back, and didn't take his eyes away from him until he had seated himself next to Volstagg again. Granted, that gesture hadn't been too affectionate, but Thor knew how easily Fandral could start flirting with everyone and everything. He mostly went for maidens, but Thor had seen him flirting with a couple of men too. As long as they were _pretty_ , as Fandral liked to call them, the gender obviously did not matter to him. _ _

__

__And Loki was definitely beautiful. And pretty. Thor only hoped Fandral would not notice that, or else Thor would have to tell him to stay away from him. He did realise that the chance of him being allowed to marry Loki was... slim, but he still did not wish to see him with Fandral. Besides, it could only be a meaningless fling, since Loki was going back to Jötunheimr, and Fandral was staying here. Thor figured that even a meaningless fling would be... It would not be something he would approve of._ _

__

__Shaking off these possessive thoughts, he instead turned to smile at Loki._ _

__

__"Thank you, Thor. For your compliment."_ _

__

__"You're welcome. When did you learn to fight like that? I never had a chance to see you fight while I was your personal guard."_ _

__

__"I learned it after you left... And... Sif, right?"_ _

__

__Sif looked up, obviously surprised and she smiled. "Yes?"_ _

__

__"I'm very impressed by your skills."_ _

__

__"We are all very impressed by Sif's skills." Thor pointed out, giving her a smile, one which she did not return._ _

__

__"And why is that, Thor? Because I am a woman, and therefore I should not be able to fight like this?"_ _

__

__"Peace, Sif. I meant no disrespect. I was impressed with your skills the moment I first saw you. Don't you remember?"_ _

__

__She watched him for a long moment, before finally nodding her head. Of course she must have remembered it. Thor had been walking with his mother, and he had asked her to show him the training grounds. Sif was the first one he had seen fight, and he had been impressed by her beauty as well as her skills._ _

__

__"I doubt her fighting skills was the first thing you noticed when you laid eyes on her," Fandral commented, making both Sif and Thor turn to glare at him._ _

__

__"What?" he said, giving them an entirely innocent look._ _

__

__After a moment, Thor was willing to admit that Sif's beauty was the second thing he had noticed about her. She seemed satisfied by his confession, and Volstagg chuckled at the two of them. And then, he started talking about the fact that he was wondering when it was time for their wedding._ _

__

__That was apparently a good way of shutting both Sif and Thor up, because even though Thor and Sif probably did flirt with each other quite a lot, and even though they both knew there was definitely something there... As soon as they had to confront what was actually there, things usually turned a little awkward for them. Neither one of them were particularly good at talking about their feelings, and they both knew that even though they cared for each other, they were not in love with each other._ _

__

__Not yet._ _

__

__Thor was in love with Loki. No one knew about it, but he did not wish to marry Sif while he had feelings for Loki, even if his father had already approved of her. She deserved much better than to be married to someone whose heart belonged to someone else. If, in time, his feelings for Loki faded, he would be willing to ask her to be his Queen, but that time was not now. It was much too early._ _

__

__Volstagg looked incredibly happy about having made them so uncomfortable. He smiled over at Hogun, who... did not smile back. Sif told Volstagg that he should mind his own business, but that was not enough to make him stop smiling._ _

__

__"Perhaps you should challenge him to a fight?" Thor suggested, and Sif tilted her head to the side, as though she was considering it. Volstagg raised his eyebrows._ _

__

__"I'd rather not," he said. "I know what you are like when you get angry." Thor laughed loudly at that, nodding his head in agreement. He had not yet spent a year here in Ásgarðr, but he knew enough by now not to make Sif angry. She could usually make the Warriors Three flee for their lives if she was in a particularly bad mood._ _

__

__"Then why are you getting on her bad side, Volstagg?" Thor asked, smiling widely at him._ _

__

__For the next few minutes, Thor listened as Sif and Volstagg argued about whether or not they should fight, and it was only when he leaned back a little bit that he finally realised..._ _

__

__"Where is Loki?" The other two stopped talking, both of them turning to look at him._ _

__

__"He left a while ago," Hogun told him. "Along with Fandral. I believe Fandral wanted to show him around."_ _

__

__Staring at him, Thor furrowed his brow, looking down in silence._ _

__

__"What are you so worried about?" Volstagg asked, and Thor gave him a long look._ _

__

__"Surely, you don't think Fandral would try anything? Loki is a Prince of Jötunheimr. He knows better than that."_ _

__

__Thor raised an eyebrow. "Does he? Are you sure about this? I have not known Fandral as long as any of you have, but I think I know him well enough to assume that if he has taken Loki for a walk, he is going to try something. He doesn't want to harm him of course. But I'm sure he'll at least try to flirt with him."_ _

__

__Sif seemed to agree with him, and even Hogun nodded his head. Finally, Volstagg had to admit that Fandral would be stupid enough to flirt with the Prince._ _

__

__"What are you going to do?" Volstagg asked him, and Thor stood up._ _

__

__"I'm going to look for them."_ _

__

__He gave them all a look before beginning to walk away from there, and once he had taken a few steps he could hear Volstagg telling the other two that he would not have wanted to be in Fandral's position right now. Thor agreed with him, even as he continued to leave the training grounds, looking around while trying to spot Loki. When he found Fandral, he was going to regret taking Loki away from there. If he had tried anything... Thor quickened his steps, making his way into the castle._ _

__

__Thor wondered why the palace had to be so big. He looked everywhere, and it seemed like he was never going to find Fandral and Loki. But then, finally, he spotted them on one of the balconies._ _

__

__Letting out a relieved sigh, he approached them, only to stop for a few seconds when he noticed Fandral kissing Loki's hand._ _

__

__He _kissed_ his hand. _ _

__

___Bastard._ Clenching his jaw, Thor tilted his head down, waiting another short moment before continuing his walk. Fandral only turned around when he had almost reached them, and he was greeted with a polite smile. _ _

__

__"Thor! There you are. I was just showing our dear guest aro-"_ _

__

__He was cut off when Thor put a hand on his chest and pushed him up against the wall using only one arm, not even bothering to look at him. Instead, he kept his eyes on Loki who looked not only shocked, but slightly intimidated._ _

__

__"Come now, Thor. It was just a bit of fun. See? The Prince is fine. No harm done."_ _

__

__Slowly, Thor turned to look at him, and Fandral seemed to understand that he was not in the mood for his jokes. It was the first time he could remember seeing Fandral swallow in fear because of him._ _

__

__"Really, Thor, I meant nothing by it, I just thought that since you were so busy flirting with Sif-" Thor tightened his grip on him._ _

__

__"Not another word," he warned him, watching him a few seconds before letting him go. "Leave us."_ _

__

__Fandral immediately did as he had been told, leaving the two of them alone, hurrying away from the balcony and down the hallway. Thor watched to make sure he was really gone, before slowly turning his eyes back to Loki, giving him a long look._ _

__

__It was obvious that Loki had troubles looking at him. He kept his eyes locked with Thor's while he looked at him for such a long time and Thor could see him swallowing hard._ _

__

__"Fandral offered me to show me the palace. You were busy talking to your friends and I didn't want to disturb you. I'm sorry."_ _

__

__Normally, Thor's anger probably would have faded away the moment Loki apologised, but this time he was too bitter about the entire thing. Had he overreacted? Yes, perhaps a little bit, but it had nothing to do with him being jealous. Well, maybe it had something to do with him being jealous, but it also had something to do with the fact that Loki was his friend, and he still felt very protective towards him. He knew Fandral was only after one thing, and as the prince of Jötunheimr, Thor was sure Loki would not be after the same thing. Besides, he had barely been touched more than a couple of times, and Fandral was not exactly the best one to..._ _

__

__And then it hit him._ _

__

___Fandral had been the first one to kiss Loki._ _ _

__

__Granted, it had just been a kiss on his hand, unless something had happened before he'd spotted them, but still..._ _

__

__That was quite a big deal._ _

__

__Thor felt as though he was standing by as everyone else got their chance with Loki. His brother had been the first to touch him. He had been trying to restrain him, but it still counted. And now Fandral had been the first to kiss his hand._ _

__

__Thor could hear the sound of thunder in the distance, and he wondered if his friends would blame the potential storm on Fandral. They should, since it was technically his fault. The only reason Thor was in a foul mood was because of him._ _

__

__"What did he say to you?" he asked, not offering Loki a smile or any other kind of sign that he understood what he had just told him and that there was no reason for him to apologise._ _

__

__"He... he called me beautiful."_ _

__

__Of course Fandral had called Loki beautiful. That was exactly what Thor had feared. Fandral went after everyone he considered beautiful, and now that Loki seemed to be one of them... It was such a line. Thor had heard it time and time again. Fandral called his conquests beautiful, and expected them to immediately begin to swoon. The tragic part was that most of them did. Thor was not entirely sure if that was because Fandral could get anyone to fall for him, or if he simply knew how to pick his victims. He suspected it was the latter. Now, Thor loved his friend, he truly did, but sometimes he needed to stop and think for a moment. Die he really think courting the prince of Jötunheimr was a good idea? Then again, shouldn't Thor be asking himself that question? He hadn't been courting Loki, though. In fact, he had told himself that nothing could ever happen between them, and he may as well just accept that._ _

__

__"And he said that he would like to bed me."_ _

__

__When Loki said that next part, he flash of lighting could be seen across their heads, which was almost immediately followed by another roar of thunder in the distance. Fandral had said that? He was certainly not aiming for subtlety. Thor almost felt like going to find him and push him up against another wall. How dared he suggest something like that? After all, Loki was... He was what? He certainly wasn't his to keep. But he was a prince of Jötunheimr, and he deserved to be treated better than that._ _

__

__Loki jerked backwards, holding his hands above his ears to cover them, remaining in this position._ _

__

__Finally, Thor could feel his anger beginning to disappear. He didn't want to scare Loki. He didn't want to upset him. This weather was not because of him, it was because of Fandral. Fandral deserved to hear that he had done something he should not have done. Loki, on the other hand, had simply gone with someone who had asked him if he wished to see the palace. And that was yet another thing Thor had not had the opportunity to do. At least he had been the first one to show him the library. That was something._ _

__

__"Fandral doesn't know when to stop sometimes. I will make sure he does not bother you again."_ _

__

__Stepping forward, he told himself to calm down, the sound of thunder in the distance almost immediately going away. There was still a dark sky above their heads, but he figured that would go away soon. Carefully, he lifted a hand, and gently put it against Loki's neck._ _

__

__"Forgive me, Loki. I did not mean to upset you."_ _

__

__But he had, and he felt bad about it. He was also thinking about how strange all of this was, if he compared it to his time in Jötunheimr. There, he could never have gotten angry at something Loki had done. If anything, Loki could have gotten angry at something _he_ had done. Now, though, they were on equal ground, but of course that did not give Thor the right to behave like this. Sif definitely would have called him an idiot for it, and she would have been right. He was an idiot._ _

__

__"I know Fandral. He is only after one thing, and when I realised the two of you had left together... He should not be taking advantage of you."_ _

__

__Thor knew Loki could defend himself just fine, but Fandral could be really stubborn at times, and since Loki had never really been touched by anyone like that before... He did not want him to end up in a situation he did not wish to be in._ _

__

__"I'm... I'm sure he won't ask again." Loki replied, reaching up to put his own hand against Thor's neck._ _

__

__"I'm not so sure about that. Fandral can be very stubborn."_ _

__

__He usually did not take the first no for an answer, unless the other person made it explicably clear that they did not have any desire whatsoever to be with him. In fact, not even that stopped him sometimes. Even so, he did know where to draw the line, and as far as Thor knew, he had never touched someone against their will. He was not an evil person, not at all, he just happened to have some problems accepting a no sometimes. The thing that probably would stop him from approaching Loki again was the fact that Thor had obviously made it clear that he did not approve of it. Or it could possibly make Fandral want Loki even more, because now he would get a thrill out of it simply because it was _forbidden_. _ _

__

__"Maybe you could show me around tomorrow?" Loki suddenly asked._ _

__

__Immediately feeling much happier because Loki obviously wanted him to show him around, Thor smiled._ _

__

__"Of course," he agreed. "I'd be happy to show you around the palace. And around Ásgarðr as well."_ _

__

__He just hoped Loki was prepared for the looks he would be getting. He was quite certain that no one had seen a Frost Giant wandering around Ásgarðr in... He wasn't sure if there had ever been a Frost Giant wandering around Ásgarðr. Maybe a really long time ago. His smile grew even wider when Loki put his hand on his neck. Moving his own hand, he put it on top of Loki's, lacing their fingers together._ _

__

__"I will have to show you some more sweets. You seem to have a preference for those things."_ _

__

__"We don't have sweets in Jötunheimr as far as I know so... Yes I'd love that." Loki replied. "And I want to apologise for asking you to carry me. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."_ _

__

__Thor tilted his head to the side at Loki's last few words. He had not expected that. In fact, it was probably one of the last things he had expected. He had almost forgotten that incident, but obviously Loki was still thinking about it. Had it been troubling him all this time? It almost seemed like it, and Thor felt sorry for him, because Loki should not have to go around feeling as though he had done something wrong. After all, he hadn't done anything wrong._ _

__

__"You're apologising to me?" Shaking his head, Thor let out a soft laugh. "Loki, there is no need to apologise. None at all. You did nothing wrong. The only reason I was uncomfortable was..."_ _

__

__His voice faded away. At once, he realised he could not tell Loki why he had been a little unappreciative of that hug. The reason he had been a bit tense was because he had been scared he would get... too comfortable while having Loki's legs wrapped around his waist like that. And he couldn't tell Loki that Obviously not. How was he supposed to explain something like this? Loki was barely able to understand or appreciate holding hands, how was he supposed to understand this situation? He had to come up with something else to say, something that would not scare Loki off._ _

__

__"You are not supposed to jump on people like that. The only times I've seen something like that have been between very good friends, or lovers. But that is fine. You didn't know. You're learning, after all."_ _

__

__"Yes, I'm learning. Thanks to you." he agreed with a light smile and looked at their hands again. "Should we go then?"_ _

__

__Thor nodded his head._ _

__

__"Yes, we should." Moving Loki's hand away from his neck, he looked at it for a moment. He thought about the kiss Fandral had given to Loki, and he wondered how Loki would react if he did it to him. Would he be surprised? Would he be angry? Thor did not want to lose Loki's trust, and he feared that would happen if he did something Loki didn't approve of. Then again, Loki had been allowed one awkward mistake. Why couldn't it be the same for him? Because he should know better, of course. He should know that you did not kiss someone's hand like that, unless you... Well, sometimes it could be out of politeness. After all, he had kissed Sif's hand. Why could he not kiss Loki's hand to be polite? He was quite certain it would be easier to get away with it now, than it would have been if Loki would have had his memories. On the other hand, he had been upset about Fandral taking away Loki's first kiss or at least his first kiss to his hands, and what right did he have to do it? Why should he get to kiss Loki's hand? He was thinking too much about this. He should just... do something._ _

__

__With a quiet sigh, he let go of Loki's hand, deciding not to kiss him. Or rather his hand._ _

__

__"Let us go back to my room. We can have dinner there."_ _

__

__****_ _

__

__"Thor?"_ _

__

__"Yes?"_ _

__

__"I've never seen any of you wearing jewellery. Why not?"_ _

__

__"Men usually don't wear jewellery here. Only the women do. My mother has worn some amazing jewellery." He paused for a moment. "It's a different culture here. Wearing jewellery is typically perceived as feminine, so the men don't wear it."_ _

__

__"Oh..." Loki said with a nod. "Can I continue to wear it anyway?"_ _

__

__"Yes, of course you can. You have worn it all your life, you should not have to change yourself to fit into the Asgardian society. At least not when it comes to something as simple as wearing jewellery. If anyone would have something to say about it, you could simply show them how well you fight. That should keep their mouths shut."_ _

__

__"I just thought that I.. I know they will look at me because I'm a Frost Giant already and I don't want to be called a woman just because I'm wearing jewellery. Judging by what I heard from Baldr... there is a lot that Asgardians don't know about Jötunheimr."_ _

__

__"If they think you are a woman simply because you are wearing jewellery, it only goes to show that Ásgarðr has a lot to learn about the Jötun culture. Or about other cultures in general."_ _

__

__They could be a bit closed-minded sometimes. Thor had heard that the mothers here in Ásgarðr told their children stories of the horrible Frost Giants, depicting them as nothing but monsters. He had not actually heard any one of these stories, and he assumed that had something to do with him having spent such a long time in Jötunheimr, and therefore no one wanted him to feel insulted. Nevertheless, the stories were still out there, and Thor had hoped that Loki's presence here could have meant a step in the right direction, and perhaps a chance for the Aesir to learn that not all Jötuns were bad, but now that Loki would only stay for a few more days, he doubted it was going to happen. After all, how much could truly be changed in a few days?_ _

__

__He blinked in surprise when Loki suddenly reached out without warning, Grabbing Thor's hand, Loki pulled it to his mouth. And then... he was... he was... Thor could do nothing but stare, lips parted in silent shock, as Loki put his tumb in between his lips and licked what Thor assumed was some chocolate away from his skin. It was probably left from the cake they just had for dinner._ _

__

__He was not breathing, and kind of tensed up again, but only because he was so scared of moving and making Loki stop. Of course, he had to stop at some point, and even though for Thor it had felt like a really long, wonderful moment, it had probably not been more than a few seconds. Slowly letting his hand fall back to his lap when Loki had let him go, he continued to stare at him, not returning the smile._ _

__

__"Is... everything alright?" Loki asked but Thor remained silent. "Did I make a mistake?" he asked again, this time sounding utterly troubled._ _

__

__Thor had to wonder why he was being tortured like this. Now, all he could think about was giving Loki _something else_ to suck on, and that was... entirely inappropriate. _ _

__

__Oh, but Fandral would have laughed if he knew what he was thinking right now. He probably would have patted him on the back and told him that he should find out if Loki wanted to give it a try. He could always convince him it was some sort of... Asgardian ritual. You greeted your guest by offering them your-_ _

__

__Thor shook his head, snapping himself out of his own silly thoughts. Blinking, it took him a couple of seconds to realise what Loki was saying._ _

__

__"No, you did not. I mean..." Shouldn't he tell Loki that licking people's thumbs was not appropriate? Otherwise, Loki could go ahead and lick someone else's thumb, and that was certainly not what Thor wanted. "It is a bit... inappropriate."_ _

__

__Loki pressed his lips together and looked down. "Sorry." he said once again. "I won't... I will ask before I do something next time." Loki said and took a deep breath._ _

__

__Thor absolutely hated the look on Loki's face. He looked embarrassed, and upset, and Thor just wanted him to smile again. It wasn't his fault that he did not know that licking on someone's thumb was slightly inappropriate. Laufey had erased his memories, and before that he had not allowed anyone to touch him. Of course Loki would not know about certain unspoken rules. Reaching forward, Thor put his hand against Loki's chin and tilted his head up._ _

__

__"Listen to me. You do not need to apologise, and you do not need to ask for permission to do something. There is no need to be embarrassed. We all make mistakes. I made them too when I first got here."_ _

__

__And Thor had not exactly hated it. He had liked feeling Loki's tongue against his skin, but of course he couldn't tell him that, because then it would be his turn to be embarrassed._ _

__

__"It's not easy. It's confusing."_ _

__

__"I am here for you, Loki."_ _


	5. Chapter 5

"I was thinking we could start by going to one of the biggest markets we have here in Ásgarðr. It's only a short walk away from the palace."

 

"Sounds good to me." Loki replied with a smile. 

 

This definitely sounded good. After what happened with Fandral yesterday, Thor had suggested to show him around in this realm and now that they were well-rested from last night's sleep and today's breakfast, Loki felt ready for a walk around this large market. Loki could already imagine it. There were probably many people there and various amounts of some sort of stores. Clothes, food, jewellery and things he could never think of. Markets always were somehow magical in his books and Loki hoped that it would be the same way in real life. Though Loki guessed that it would be wiser to dress more properly so he leaned forward and grabbed the tunic Thor gave him, putting it on. 

 

"I'm ready." he announced and rested his hands in his lap as he turned around to Thor again. He'd just wait here until Thor was done as well. 

 

"I'm ready too." he said with a smile, walking up to him. "Are you sure you won't be too warm in that?"

 

Loki looked down at himself and let out a light hum. He wore nothing but the tunic. He was even barefoot so he was not sure if this would be too warm. 

 

"I figured it's not really... appropriate to walk around almost naked in Ásgarðr." he then said and looked up again, not quite sure if he should put on something different. 

 

He already knew that people in Ásgarðr always wore something in public - Frost Giants weren't that picky about this. If they wanted to walk around with nothing but a loin cloth or even nothing they just did. And Loki certainly didn't want to raise even more attention by doing this on the market which was why he decided to put on this tunic again. 

 

"What do you think?" on the other hand he couldn't possibly walk around nothing but a loin cloth. 

 

"I think you should wear whatever you want to wear. Whatever makes you comfortable. They will be looking at you either way, it is up to you how you want to dress. If you would have stayed here for a longer period of time, I would have taken you to the seamstress to get you a better outfit. You are worthy something better than just an old tunic of mine." Thor replied with a warm smile.

 

Loki nodded at his words and let out a chuckle when he suggested he would've have tailors make something for him if he'd only stay longer. But it was alright, he wouldn't need it anyway. Four days to go. Well, five if he counted today. He just hoped these days wouldn't pass so fast. In the end, Loki shook his head. 

 

"No, I'll stay with the tunic." he said. It would be more appropriate. 

 

Besides he already embarrassed himself in front of Thor more than enough and he didn't want to do this in front of others as well. He was the prince and he wanted them to see and to know, wanted them to see what the prince of Jötunheimr looked like. Though he would've liked some jewellery but he didn't ask for that. Loki figured this would be probably impudent to ask Thor if he could give him something. 

 

"Let's go then."

 

"This way."

 

Thor led Loki through the many hallways, the two of them eventually ending up outside. From there, they did not have to walk very far to get to the market. Ásgarðr was just waking up, but there were already quite a lot of people moving about, and of course quite a lot of them turned their heads to look at Loki. Some were at least attempting to be subtle about it, and some were outright staring. Thor seemed to try and ignore most of them, and instead turning his attention to Loki, leading him closer to the stands. There was everything from jewellery and beautiful fabrics, to different fruits and vegetables, as well as other kinds of food. 

 

It smelled of perfumes, ointments, and strong spices. And then there were scents Loki couldn't name. It was so much he didn't know where to look at first. Not only the scents but the things he could see here. Not only food and jewellery but fabrics and stuff he had never seen before. Loki would have never guessed that there was so much he did not know. He was so mesmerised by all of this that he didn't even notice the way he was looked at when they noticed him. He was just glad that they didn't back off immediately.

 

"What would you like to see first?" Thor asked. 

 

"I'm not quite sure yet." Loki admitted with a smile on his lips, shaking his head as he walked forward and Thor followed him. 

 

Now that he was wondering through the masses he walked a bit slower and he shared glances with some of the strangers. Though they were not really pleasant but... observing. Sceptical. He moved more careful after bumping into some of them a couple of times. He was not comfortable with so many people being around him and accidently touching or bumping into him. But he tried to calm down, after all he couldn't possibly ask Thor for help all the time. He had to deal with this himself. So he tried to focus on something he wanted to see now. Struggling with himself a little, Loki finally found one stand with exotic fruits so he pointed towards it. 

 

"I want to see this one over there."

 

Without hesitating, Thor led him over there, and he smiled at the woman in charge of selling those fruits. She was tall and lean, small muscles showing up under her beautifully dark skin, so dark it was almost black. Her face was long and she had full lips, bright blue eyes that matched the colour of her tunic and her face was framed by silky black hair. Loki thought she was incredibly beautiful.

 

"How may I help you, your highness?" the woman asked, glancing at both of them. 

 

"I think my friend here would like to try some of your fruit. Do you have anything on the sweeter side? He has a thing for desserts."

 

She smiled and nodded, pulling out some blue, rather small and round fruits, offering them to Loki. Thor picked one up already and held it out to Loki, raising an eyebrow at him. 

 

"Would you like to try it?"

 

Loki was relieved that she didn't look at him like the others. She seemed to be nice and Loki immediately felt way more relaxed than before. 

 

"Yes, I want to."

 

He grabbed one of the fruits and put them into his mouth, chewing on it for a while. They were... sweet - but a different kind of sweet and Loki smiled, nodding at him. 

 

"They're great. What are these?" he asked and looked at the bowl where they were resting. 

 

"Blueberries." the woman said, still smiling at him and Loki couldn't help but return the smile.

 

His eyes skimmed the others and he already found what he wanted to taste next. Loki leaned forward and grabbed one of the large fruits. It was round, brown and a little hairy and larger than his hand. It was utterly hard and Loki shook it in his hand. And when he did, it sounded as if it was filled with water. He could hear Thor's chuckle and looked up.

 

"Would you like me to summon my hammer to help you open it?"

 

"No!" Loki immediately replied and crouched down after failing to open it by biting or hitting the hard surface.

 

He hauled off and hit the ground with it a couple of time, then trying the stone pole of the stand. When there finally was a crack, Loki let out a brief "Ha!" out of joy and stood up again, turning it around. There was white liquid - almost as white as the milk he drank in the palace - spilling out of it and he held it up again so it wouldn't spill on the ground completely. 

 

"That's a coconut." the woman said and pointed at the fruit in his hands. "Drink it, it's tasty." she added and Loki held it to his mouth and did as the woman suggested. 

 

And she was right. He never tasted this before and it was simply amazing. Loki pulled it away, wiping away what was running down to his chin out of the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand because he drank too much at once. 

 

"You can even eat the white parts on the inside after drinking the milk." the woman said and Loki smiled at her, thanking her for that brief information.

 

He shoved his fingers into the cracks of the nut to rip it open and scratch off the white as best as he could. Loki was positively surprised by the texture because it was... Soft but weirdly firm at the same time. It tasted and even felt nice to eat it. Once he was done with it, he threw the remaining pieces of the shell into an empty bowl, giving the woman a short nod.

 

"Thank you very much." he said.

 

"You are welcome." she replied and bowed politely to him.

 

Though before he could say anything else, Loki heard some quick footsteps approaching. He frowned a little when he saw a couple of children. They surrounded Thor and Loki decided to stay away for now, waiting to see what they would do. 

 

"Hello. Is there anything I can do for you?" Thor asked, smiling down at all four children who surrounded him. 

 

"Are... Are you Thor?" the boy asked. 

 

"Yes, I am. And you are?"

 

"My name is Aldi, my lord... I was-" but before the boy with the messy brown hair could continue, the blond one who had tugged at Thor's trousers spoke up, interrupting him.

 

"Is it true that you can lift Mjölnir??!" he asked, obviously very eager to talk about that weapon.

 

Thor nodded his head. "Aye, that is true."

 

Finally, one of the two girls dared to speak, looking like she was caught somewhere between being impressed and intimidated. "Can we see it?"

 

Loki looked around. There were more people looking at them now and he wondered if this was a good idea. Though Thor didn't seem to mind at all and he simply continued to talk to the children, completely ignoring the adults around them.

 

"Of course. I do not have it with me, but I can summon it, if you like?" he asked and all four children immediately nodded their heads as Thor held out his arm.

 

Loki didn't say anything but he had to smile at the way Thor handled the situation. He seemed to like children and Loki could notice the happy smile on Thor's face. When he looked at the children again, they were completely excited about the fact that Thor was willing to show him Mjölnir - and this raised the attention of the other people around them. 

 

The prince looked into the sky when he heard this sound he heard the last time he was near Mjölnir and only a couple of seconds later - she was literally flying through the air and right into Thor's hand. There was a muffled sound of thunder in the distance for a moment but it was gone as quickly as it appeared here. And Loki had to admit that he himself was impressed as well that it actually worked.

 

The children all turned their eyes up to the sky when Mjölnir came closer. Thor closed his hand around his hammer as soon as he felt it against his palm, a satisfied smile making its way into his features. He held it for a moment, noticing that the children seemed to be in awe, before bending down and placing it on the ground. 

 

"Would you like to try to lift it?" Thor asked, and they all nodded their heads. 

 

Loki watched as Thor gestured at one of the boys, motioning for him to come forward. The boy slowly moved closer, glancing quickly up at Loki before looking at Thor with wide eyes. 

 

"It's all right," Thor assured him. "Do not be afraid." 

 

The boy put his small hands on the hammer, and tried to lift it. He was obviously using as much strength as he could, but the hammer would not move. The boy looked terribly disappointed, but Thor simply smiled at him.

 

"Let's try it together," he said. He put his hands on top of the boy's, and together they lifted the hammer, and the look on the boy's face was one of pure joy. "I did it!" the boy called happily, and Thor nodded at him, motioning for one of the girls to try next. Loki could not help but realise there seemed to be... fear in his eyes when she looked at him. Loki could not help but take a few steps back, just to make sure he would not scare her off. 

 

But Thor took her hand in his and told her not to be afraid. Thor motioned for Loki to come closer, and then turned his eyes back to her. 

 

"There is nothing to be afraid of. He is a prince, just like me, and he is a very kind one. He may look a little different from the two of us, but in here..." He reached out and put a hand over Loki's heart. "We are all the same." She nodded her head, seemingly understanding, and even turned her eyes to look at Loki again. 

 

Loki took a deep breath and felt his heartbeat going faster in an instant. But Thor hopefully didn't notice since he was busy with the two children. It was utterly lovely to watch. That he helped them lifting Mjölnir and that they thought they were able to lift it all by themselves. And how he talked to the girl. Loki was not surprised. Thor was a gentle person and he had a gentle soul. It was not so surprising that he was like this around children.

 

Then, the girl touched him, tugging at his shirt. 

 

"Can you come down?" she asked and Loki gave Thor an insecure gaze. He nodded and Loki took one last breath, sitting down next to her on the ground. 

 

Without even waiting or asking the girl climbed on his lap and grabbed his hair, touched his face and looked at him with big eyes. 

 

"Why are you blue?" she asked. "And why do you have horns?" 

 

Loki was not sure what to say. "I... it's my nature. Everyone in my realm looks like this. Well... mostly. The others are much bigger."

 

"He has quite a lovely colour on his skin, does he not?" Thor added with the hint of a smile and Loki bit down to his lower lip, not sure how to react to such compliments. 

 

"What are these...?" the girl continued to ask as she let her small fingers run across the markings on Loki's skin and the prince smiled at her. 

 

"They are-" Loki started but didn't get very far with his explanation.

 

"Dóra!!!" a dark voice called loudly and Loki turned around, standing up when he saw a tall man approaching. Behind him, there was a woman following and they rushed over to them. When they were within reach, the man grabbed the arm of the girl, pulling her away harshly even if she protested.

 

"But father, I was just looking at-"

 

"That is a Frost Giant, Dóra! They are dangerous. I do not want you to go near it, do you understand?!" the father almost yelled. 

 

"Excuse me?" Thor growled. "He is a Prince of Jötunheimr and will be treated as such. You will show him the respect he deserves."

 

Loki walked over to the father after Thor told him he was the prince of Jötunheimr. 

 

"I am. And I am not dangerous. I just wanted to show her-" he started but once again - before he could finish his sentence the man raised his hand and pushed him away with a force Loki hadn't expected. He stumbled backwards a bit, falling back down to the ground. 

 

"I don't care if you are a prince or not!! You are a Frost Giant and you deserve nothing but death." the man said and pulled the daughter away to her mother.

 

She looked at Loki first and then at Thor. "He is right. And who are you to tell us how to treat something like that?!" she hissed at Thor and pointed at Loki.

 

He was still on the ground, rather shocked because of what they were saying and how they looked at him. He had been prepared to be looked at but this was something completely different... though they did not seem to know that they were talking to their crown prince. And Loki wondered how they would react when they found out.

 

Thor walked over to Loki, bending down to put his arm around him. Then, Thor lifted him back up, his arm still resting around his waist as he looked over to the family. 

 

"And who are you to speak to the crown prince of Ásgarðr in such a way?! Who are you to push the crown prince of Jötunheimr? Your children have more sense than you do!" he hissed and Loki could swear the children looked utterly terrified now. 

 

"I am... sorry for talking to you in such a manner, my prince." the father started carefully. "But you cannot force me to apologise for my opinion about Frost Giants. He may be a prince in Jötunheimr, but this does not make him any less of a-" he stopped and hesitated for a moment. "I am not going to use such a word in front of my children. And I do not want them to be in such company. Forgive me, prince Thor." he ended his speech and bowed to Thor, giving Loki a last glance before he turned around to leave the scene.

 

And of course - the other people that had gathered around them just stood there and watched. No one said anything and it made Loki afraid of this realm. 

 

"Go back to your business!!" Thor called, looking around at the crowd, waiting for them to leave before turning back to Loki. 

 

"Are you all right?" he asked, way more calmly now. "He should not have pushed you."

 

Loki looked up again and shook his head a little at Thor's question. No he was not all right. He saw the glances now that Thor looked around as well. And he hated it. He shouldn't be here and these people obviously didn't want him around. Maybe it would've been easier if he'd disguised himself as one of them. But now it was probably too late, considering that they had all seen him. He couldn't just transform and come back here with Thor - they'd probably still notice who he was. What was he even thinking? That he could just stay here until Laufey took him home again? That he'd maybe just let him live here without protest? No, he should've gone home from the beginning. And to top it all off, they all seemed to start judging Thor that he was actually walking around with a Frost Giant and Loki didn't want Thor to be looked at with suspicion. His people should love him. 

 

"I won't wait for Laufey to take me home, I'll go now." Loki suddenly said. "I don't belong here."

 

"Please don't..." Thor said, moving his hand up to cup Loki's cheek, obviously not caring what the people around them would think. "Don't let them get to you. You _could_ belong here, but unfortunately, it is going to take some time for the people to get used to you. What they think about Frost Giants... It is all based on ignorance. I did not think it was going to be this bad." 

 

"Yes, it takes time." Loki replied with a deep sigh. "We don't have time, Thor. You know that."

 

They couldn't make a difference in only four days. Loki wondered what the reason was. Probably the long wars with Jötunheimr? Maybe the wars the Frost Giants had with other realms. He was not sure. But what he did know was the fact that the Asgardians knew so little about them that this lack of knowledge could probably easily end up in hate. He figured this was what happened here. It was because of Laufey also. Laufey was the one they should be afraid of, not the Frost Giants. Laufey was so old that it was clearly his work. He influenced all of them but with another king on the throne, everything would be easier.

 

"I will do whatever I can to teach the people about your realm. They need to understand that not all Jötuns are bad." Thor gave Loki a small smile. "I believe you could teach them that. Just look at the way you treated that little girl just now. She was not afraid of you."

 

"Do you really think we can make a difference in four days? It doesn't matter!" he knew Thor tried his best and he loved him for that. But it would take way more time than they had. 

 

Thor watched Loki for a long moment and then, finally... shook his head. 

 

"No." Thor almost whispered. "We can make a difference, but it will be small - too small to fully make them understand. We cannot make them change their minds in four days, but it can be a start. When you leave, I will continue to do what I can to teach them about Jötunheimr and to make them understand that they cannot judge an entire race like this. Hopefully, when you come back... they will be further along. Now, I cannot promise you this can happen overnight. In fact, it will most likely take years to change something of this size, but what I can promise you is that it will get better."

 

This was not the only reason why Loki decided it would be better to go now. Not only because he didn't want to be looked at like that any longer but because if Laufey would really come here... who could say for sure that he would not attack? That he would simply come here to get him back? No one could. Loki feared he might actually attack. And this would only prove these people right. That all Frost Giants were monsters and only came to destroy. Loki did not want this to happen. This had to stop at some point, this way of thinking. Ásgarðr and Jötunheimr had been at war for way too long already and it was all because of his father. The prince looked at Thor while he tried to convince him to stay but in the end, it didn't help to change his mind. 

 

"I will leave tonight." Loki said with a firm voice and expression. But then he showed him a hint of a smile. "You can always show me the rest of Ásgarðr as soon as I come back." and hopefully, the people here would be more accepting then. If he came back. Because as things were now... Loki was rather sure he would never come back to Ásgarðr.

 

And while Loki talked, he could swear Thor's smile literally fell and his face went pale. Thor opened his mouth, closing it. Licking his lips. He looked to the side, obviously not sure what he should do or say. He took a deep breath and Loki could see his chest heaving visibly. When he breathed out again, he was shaking and Loki wondered for a second if he would start crying now. But Thor didn't. 

 

"Of course." Thor simply said, very quietly. He cleared his throat and managed to look into his eyes again. "Would you like to go back to the palace? I could show you the gardens. They are truly beautiful, and I think you would enjoy the many different flowers."

 

"Yes. I would love to see the gardens." Loki replied with a smile. 

 

He could see that the smile on Thor's face was forced but he didn't say anything about it. He didn't want to ruin this day more than he already had. It was easy to tell that Thor did not want him to leave but Loki couldn't help it. He had to stop Laufey at all costs. He had to do something. He'd buy them all some time and while doing that he could think of something to do. Maybe he could end this was before it even began. 

 

Loki then realised that Thor's other hand was still resting at his waist and he looked down for a moment before he met his eyes again. This pose was strangely relaxing and comforting. Loki felt safe around him and for a moment he wished they could stay like this. Loki didn't pull away either - he just looked at Thor for a moment before finally talking again. 

 

"Can we use Mjölnir to get back to the palace?" Loki asked and the smile turned into a grin. He'd seen her flying towards Thor so maybe she could kind of carry them. 

 

"You want to fly?"

 

"Is that so surprising?"

 

"...I guess not. Very well. As long as you are sure. Though you should better hold on tight."

 

Loki felt Thor's grip around him tightening, his muscles straining as he held him closer and it made his heart jump in joy. He grabbed his dark tunic firmly and waited. Then suddenly - they were flying and his stomach dropped, a tingling feeling quickly spreading through his entire body. He hadn't expected this kind of force. Even if he could feel that Thor was holding him and that he wouldn't fall, he held on as if letting go just a bit would mean he'd fall down and die. And he continued to hold onto this tightly the entire time. There was a rush of adrenaline rushing through his veins and his heart was beating fast against his chest. His limbs felt numb for a moment and everything tickled while they were flying back to the palace. He even continued to hold onto him once they were on the ground again and he needed a moment to realise that they weren't flying anymore. 

 

Taking a few deep breaths he pulled his head away a little though his arms remained around Thor's neck because his head was still dizzy and his vision was spinning a little. Loki could even feel Thor's warm breath on his skin before he let go of him and laughed out of joy.

 

"Well? What do you think?" Thor asked happily and Loki shook his head.

 

"It was amazing!" he said after calming down again. "I'd do this all the time if I could." Loki added and turned his eyes to look at Mjölnir in Thor's hand. 

 

"Then we will have to try it again. Some day when we will have time for it."

 

"Yes. We definitely will."

 

But for now it was alright. They'd go to the gardens and Thor would show him around. Maybe he'd eat something with him one last time before he would start performing the spell that would create another Casket. That was his plan. He would create a new one and distract Laufey from Ásgarðr as long as possible. Well... not a real Casket of course because that was not possible. He would create a fake one of course - but real enough to fool Laufey for a few... days? Weeks? Months? Loki was not sure but it would be enough to figure something out. Taking a deep breath when Thor took a few steps away, Loki followed him. 

 

"Shall we go to the gardens?" he asked. 

 

He noticed the change in Thor's expression and felt the urge to help him smile again. It was weird but Loki figured his decision to leave tonight was the reason why the smile on Thor's lips fell. So he wanted to distract him a little from this fact. 

 

"Yes. Come with me, Loki." 

 

Loki followed Thor to the gardens and couldn't hide an excited smile on his face. The thought alone. Gardens. They didn't have that in Jötunheimr because it was too cold for flowers. So he was eager to see it. Loki wondered how Thor reacted when he had seen his first garden. It must have been something like the way Loki was acting right now. Probably. Seeing things you thought you would never see was so.. amazing Loki didn't know how to put it into words. 

 

And once they entered the garden Loki stopped, remaining on the stony way that lead towards it. It took a while but finally he managed to move again. 

 

"It is beautiful, is it not?" Thor asked and looked around. We never had flowers in Jötunheimr."

 

"That's grass." he said and knelt down, not responding to Thor's words. 

 

He carefully reached out and put his hand on it. This was the first time he saw and felt it. Smelled it. And Loki had to admit that it was overwhelming. He stretched himself so he was laying on the grass, stomach on the ground as he let his hands run through it. It was soft and dry and Loki simply loved how it smelled. He loved the texture of it and how it felt under his skin.

 

"I take you like it, then?" Thor asked and Loki could see him lying down on the grass next to him. "It smells nice, doesn't it? And it is strangely comfortable."

 

"You're right." Loki replied, rolling around so he was lying on his back and a little closer to Thor so their arms were touching. 

 

He then looked into the sky but couldn't see all of it because they were lying under a tree. The smile remained on his lips and he let out a sigh. There were white blossoms everywhere and in between some deep red fruits... Loki didn't know them but they looked beautiful. He turned his head around a little and took in as much as he could while they were lying there. He was almost jealous that they didn't have this in Jötunheimr

 

"You know... sometimes I wonder if the other Frost Giants miss this too. There are stories that even Jötunheimr had flowers and trees. Many, many decades ago. Not like this of course... they were different and looked like they were made of pure crystal. But because the Casket's energy was low all those flowers died. I'm not sure that this is the reason by now. Maybe it was something else." 

 

"I never missed it, but that is probably because I did not remember it. I did not know what flowers or grass were like. If I went back there now, I would definitely miss it, because now I know how amazing it is. I love how grass feels beneath my feet, and I love the smell of the flowers. I love it here. It is so beautiful."

 

"No wonder..." Loki commented, closing his eyes for a moment. 

 

There were even birds here, he could hear them. And it was one of the most beautiful sounds he'd heard so far. What would the others say if they saw this? Would they calm down like Loki was? Maybe they'd see that there was no need to destroy all this. They should stop and instead try to live peacefully. It could work if both sides would start to be more like the two of them were. Open to new things. But unfortunately their fathers seemed to be way too stubborn to do anything about the current situation. 

 

Of course Loki noticed how Thor started staring at him, but he remained quiet. He didn't want to say anything about it. In fact he... somehow enjoyed it. He knew Thor liked him and it was a nice feeling when you noticed that someone was looking at you. Not with disgust but with appreciation. So instead of asking him to stop or why he was looking at him like that all the time, he turned his head to the side, immediately meeting those bright blue ones. 

 

"You don't have to look away." Loki said with a little smirk on his lips. 

 

Thor didn't say anything. And Loki didn't either. 

 

Instead, they kept looking into each other's eyes and... Loki was pretty sure he got lost in Thor's eyes, almost as if he was drowning in a sea. He knew he probably shouldn't be attracted to him to this extend but the longer he looked at him, the more he felt like there was more. More than he thought. But he couldn't put his finger on it. The memories were still lost and no matter how much he tried to remember, he failed. He'd have to talk to his father about this, asking him to bring his memories back. If he'd ask how he found out, he'd simply tell him that it was because of his meditation. That something was different. 

 

But suddenly, When he felt Thor's fingers brushing against his own and he held his, looking down, not moving towards him but not moving away either. He just remained still, enjoying the light tingle on his hand when his fingers touched his own skin. Of course Thor had his arm wrapped around him just a few moments ago when they had used Mjölnir to fly... but this was different. This was a soft and affectionate touch and Loki definitely was not used to these. The prince looked up again and his eyes widened a little when Thor looked like he was about to tell him something. But they were interrupted by someone clearing his throat.

 

They both parted and pushed themselves up again, Loki took a step to the side and looked at the women that entered the garden.

 

"Mother!" Thor managed to say, somewhat awkwardly scrambling to get up.

 

His mother. She was so different from Odin. The first impression he got from him was.. that he was intimidating. Frigga seemed to be a kind and gentle person. She was standing there along with some of her handmaidens, with a knowing smile on her lips as she looked at her son.

 

"Enjoying my garden, I see?"

 

Thor was startled and Loki didn't dare to say anything for a long while. 

 

"Aren't you going to introduce us? she then said and Thor licked his lips, obviously irritated by the situation.

 

"Of course. This is Loki, prince of Jötunheimr." He looked over at Loki. "Loki, this is my mother. Frigga, queen of Ásgarðr." 

 

His mother smiled at Loki, and as far as Loki could see, there was absolutely nothing fake about her smile. 

 

"It is a pleasure to meet you."

 

He couldn't believe how she talked to him. He bowed his head a little to show her some respect and looked at Thor for a second when she greeted him. 

 

"It's nice to meet you too." he then said and returned the smile. "There are no gardens in Jötunheimr so Thor wanted to show me the most beautiful garden in Ásgarðr. He was right."

 

"Thank you," Frigga said to Loki, motioning for her handmaidens to leave. "I have spent a lot of time making it the most beautiful garden in Ásgarðr, though I have to say, it has never looked as beautiful as it does right now." 

 

She smiled over at her son, before turning her eyes back to Loki. "I heard what happened, and I am sorry about your memories. My husband told me you will be going back to Jötunheimr."

 

"It is indeed very beautiful. The work paid off." Loki said and looked around again for a while. 

 

But when she mentioned his memories and that he would go back to Jötunheimr, he hesitated for a moment. What exactly did Odin tell her? Did she know that he killed more than a dozen of their men? That he tried to kill both Odin and her son? If so Loki could not understand why she was still so friendly and kind to him. If not... well... should he tell her? He was not sure and for a moment he threw a rather helpless gaze towards Thor before turning back to look at his mother again. 

 

"Yes. I am going back when we are finished here. My father told me a lot of lies about what he wanted to do with the Casket so..." he sighed and shook his head. "I will try and think of something. I can't let him destroy the other realms. That's why I have to go back." 

 

Loki had seen what Laufey had done. Those looks on the market, this hate. It was all because of what Laufey did in the past and Loki wanted to change that.

 

"He is leaving tonight," Thor added and she raised her eyebrows a bit. 

 

"So soon?" She looked back at Loki again. "I am sure my son is going to miss you very much. I hope you know you are welcomed here in Ásgarðr if you ever want to come back." 

 

"That is very kind of you. Thank you." Loki said. He was welcomed here whenever he wanted to return. Loki didn't think he would ever hear something like this from an Aesir. But he was grateful for this and now that he knew he could come back... his mood brightened up a little. He could return. And it was a reassuring and calming thought.

 

Frigga gave both of them a long look, almost as if she was studying them, before smiling softly.

 

"Well, I should be getting back to my chambers. You probably want to spend these last few hours alone. It was very good to meet you, Loki." 

 

She bowed her head at him and then stepped closer to press a kiss against Thor's cheek, giving them both a final smile before turning around and leaving the gardens. 

 

"Are you really going to miss me?" Loki then asked as soon as they were alone. 

 

Frigga just told him and Loki felt his chest tingling and infecting the rest of his body when he thought about that. He was happy that Thor would miss him but at the same time he didn't want him to miss him because he knew that it would make Thor sad. It was a weird combination but he could not do anything about it. 

 

"Of course I am going to miss you," he said, taking Loki's hand in his. "Every day."

 

Loki's eyes widened when Thor pulled his hand up and brought his lips closer to the back of his hand. And then... Loki could feel Thor's lips pressed against his skin. His lips were soft and warm and... it was a feeling he could not describe entirely. His arms felt numb and heat rushed through his body, filling everything with something he was not familiar with. Loki could even feel his cheeks blushing. 

 

Fandral had kissed his hand before as well but this felt completely different. When Fandral did it... he hadn't felt anything. But right now... he felt too much. He was sure he read a lot of books about affection and all this but because he no longer had any memories of this... he couldn't tell what it was. And it scared him. Out of pure reflex he pulled his hand away quickly, taking his hand that was just kissed by Thor in his other hand to hold it against his chest. 

 

"What was that?!" he asked, visibly troubled by what just happened. It was not that he did not like it. It was quite the opposite and Loki was afraid of how it felt like. 

 

"I thought I'd lose consciousness for a moment." Loki added slowly. "It's so hot." he continued and looked down at himself as if he would find an explanation. He brought both of his hands down to let them rest beneath his navel right where the heat came from before he looked up at Thor again. 

 

"How did you do that?" he asked again, shaking his head a little.

 

 

"I... I do not know..." Thor whispered, swallowing hard. His voice was raspy and Loki would give anything to know what was going on in his head now.

 

"It wasn't like this when Fandral kissed my hand." Loki said and licked his lips. 

 

He was sure it had to do something with the fact that Thor did it. Why? Loki wished he understood. Swallowing, he looked up again after Thor told him that he had no idea why he felt like this. 

 

"It always happens when you touch me." of course Thor hadn't touched him much during these three days but when he did - it felt like this. But never to this extend. This was more than he felt during the last times he touched him. Loki breathed deeply and took Thor's hand, putting it on top of his chest so he could feel just how fast his heart was beating right now. 

 

"I'm sorry that I don't understand it and cannot reply properly." Loki apologised and let his hand go again. 

 

He wished he could say or do something that would be a reaction that fit into this situation. But he didn't know what. What should he do? He could barely stand up straight right now so how was he supposed to do something? 

 

"Don't apologise." Thor said and shook his head, taking a small step closer. 

 

"What do you feel?" he added, reaching up to cup his cheek and Loki could feel how his heart started to beat a lot faster. 

 

Loki closed his eyes. 

 

"What do you feel when I touch you like this?"

 

He could feel Thor's other hand on his stomach. 

 

"Do you feel something in here?"

 

It was warm and Loki bit his lower lip, struggling not to pull back when he touched his stomach as well. Thor wasn't even touching him much but he already felt dizzy. His voice was low and calming, Loki could almost swear that he felt the vibrations when he talked. 

 

"Yes." he answered. 

 

Yes, he felt something in there. A tingle from the inside as if something wanted to get out gently. He didn't have any words for it. He couldn't name it because he had no idea what to say. He felt more than he thought he could feel and it was frightening. His heart was beating fast and it felt like his body didn't want to listen to his mind. It was just reacting to Thor's touches. He put his own hand above Thor's, holding it gently. 

 

"It's warm. And it moves." he continued with a deep breath and moved their hands down very slowly, almost between his legs. 

 

It felt so great that Loki wished it wouldn't end. He stopped right before they reached the point between his legs and let go again. For a second he'd thought about going further, just so he could enjoy this feeling even more but he decided against it. It was almost an inner alarm that told him to stop. Letting go of his hand again, Loki bit down to his lower lip before he took a step back, looking up to Thor again. 

 

"Do you think your Loki would've known how to interpret it?"

 

Thor kept quiet for a long moment before he replied, his voice a little raspy.

 

"Maybe. I don't know for sure. Whatever you're feeling now, you must have been feeling back then as well, but you never said anything..."

 

It took some time but eventually, Loki managed to calm down a little now that there was distance between them again. Maybe. But he'd only find out if he'd get his memories back and this would take time. It would take time until he could ask Laufey to do this but until then he would have to wait. 

 

Looking down, he raised both of his hands, gesturing with them slowly while he mumbled something to himself. A simple spell to force thin air into new matter. There was a bright, blue light between his hands that formed itself, becoming thick until it had the shape of the Casket. Loki held it and took a deep breath. 

 

"This will fool my father for a while. I don't know how long but... I will try to hold him off as long as possible." he suddenly said, changing the subject. 

 

Talking about this now wouldn't turn out good so he instead decided it would be the best if they would just... get through with it. 

 

He opened the portal to Jötunheimr behind him with a swift movement of his hand and sighed. He didn't want to go. But he had to. Staying longer was not an option. 

 

"Thank you for showing me all this, Thor." he said. Loki would've gladly stayed longer. Until the evening maybe. But... no, he didn't want to risk anything. 

 

Thor shook his head. "Don't thank me." he said and took a step closer again.

 

"Please... be careful." Thor almost whispered.

 

He took another step into the direction of the portal and turned around to Thor when he said he should be careful. Loki nodded. 

 

"I will." Loki said and looked into his bright blue eyes for a few more seconds. 

 

Loki undressed himself, letting Thor's tunic fall down to the ground. It would be better if he wouldn't go back wearing something of this realm. It would raise his father suspicion and he certainly didn't want that. 

 

"Wait for me." he added and with that, he stepped through the portal that closed itself right behind him. 

 

There was darkness surrounding him for a couple of seconds and then the familiar, icy winds of his home scratched his skin. 

 

Opening his eyes again he saw that he was standing right in front of the palace. Loki took a deep breath. This was it. He stepped forward, taking the steps to the throne room and on his way, the servants looked at him with big eyes. Everyone seemed to be excited and once he entered the large room, he looked at Laufey. It was a weird feeling to see him again. Knowing everything he'd done. Everything he was capable of and he was not allowed to tell him how his thoughts about all this changed. It was intimidating and Loki would lie if he said he was not afraid of his own father right now. It was strange and almost terrifying. Loki wished he wouldn't have to be here.

 

"Father." he said firmly and Laufey turned to look at him... No - not him. The Casket. 

 

"You're back." he breathed and Loki bowed lightly. 

 

"I did not manage to kill Odin or his family. But I brought the Casket back and I will start to try and perform the spell as fast as I can. But because I was interrupted last time... It might take longer than expected." Loki explained and the king nodded. 

 

"Take the time you need. The only important thing now is that you brought it back. You did well, son."


	6. Chapter 6

The days passed very slowly. There was not really something to do and Loki tried to remain in his chambers most of the time to at least pretend that he was practicing. And Laufey didn't notice this day. Neither did he notice anything the next day. Or the day after this day. He never did anything to perform the spell and Laufey never came to look what he did. He asked him when they saw each other in the dining hall - but this was all. He never even asked why he remained in Ásgarðr for a couple of days... Loki almost couldn't believe just how easy it had been to fool him. Or did he know? Did he just keep up a straight face to wait for an opportunity to punish him? Laufey probably thought this was treachery. That he wanted to harm his own kingdom.

 

But Laufey didn't do anything for weeks. It had been two months since he had returned and finally, he gathered some courage for the next step.

 

Then, he'd lied to his father.

 

"I can't break through. Something is blocking my abilities. As if there is a barrier inside my mind and I can't break it."

 

Laufey had told him he just wanted to protect him which was why he'd blocked out his memories. Loki was surprised that he actually believed him and - more importantly - agreed to give him his memories back. 

 

Of course there was no way he could perform that spell without the real Casket. Of course Loki just lied to get his memories back. But he didn't care. He wanted to be sure and he wanted to finally know everything he'd forgotten because of him. He wanted to remember. And the moment Laufey broke the barrier down, the memories came crashing down on him. 

 

It took him days to take all of this in. The amount of memories that had been taken away from him and came back now... they gave him headaches and nightmares at first. He often woke up in the middle of the night, unable to go to sleep again. But it had been worth it. At first, he'd been embarrassed about himself. 

 

Everything he said to Thor. Everything he did in his time in Ásgarðr... he'd acted like a complete fool and Loki just wanted to erase this time. It was as if he'd seen the life of another person and now that Loki had his memories back - the Loki that was in Ásgarðr all those weeks ago... this had been another person and Loki hoped he didn't scare Thor away with his idiotic behaviour. He was almost sure about his feelings for Thor now, but this only made it worse. That he almost made him touch him there... 

 

How could he possibly do that and be completely oblivious about this? Loki just hoped Thor would look over all of this. But nevertheless he was glad that he now knew everything again. He was more determined than ever to stop Laufey from doing this. He could do it. He had to. 

 

And because he didn't want to ruin this, he dared to talk to his brothers and his mother about this - carefully at first but he'd guessed right. Neither of them wanted to destroy the other realms either. Neither of them wanted war and Loki was glad that they were there to support them.

 

****

 

His mother had been wrong. Thor did not feel better the next morning. He had managed to calm down, granted, but the empty feeling inside of his chest was still there. After quite a few minutes, he forced himself out of bed, and made his way to the dining hall. Frigga must have told Odin that Loki had left, or perhaps Heimdallr had been the one to do it. Either way, his father definitely knew, and it seemed like the rest of them did too, because they were all looking at him with sympathetic eyes. 

 

Well, maybe his father didn't look too sympathetic, but at least his friends did. Greeting them quietly, Thor sat down next to his father and put some food onto his plate. 

 

"You should stop pouting," Odin told him. "It had to be done. Loki could not have stayed here. We cannot put Ásgarðr at risk for one person." 

 

Thor pressed his lips together. "Yes, Father," he said. "You have told me this already." 

 

There was a definite tension in the air, and the rest of the meal was spent in silence. 

 

Thor spent most of his time away from the dining hall after that. 

 

He knew his father thought him ridiculous for grieving the loss of Loki, and he did not want to have to feel guilty about it. Instead, he continued his training with his friends, who all attempted to cheer him up, and tried to think of a way to teach the people of Ásgarðr that Jötuns were not so bad. The worst part when he could not think of a way to do it. He had no idea how to teach one of them, let alone how to teach all of them. If Loki had stayed, then perhaps they could have taught them all together by showing them that Loki was a good person, but now that Loki was not here, Thor felt as though there was nothing he could do, and once again he felt like he had failed Loki. 

 

Thor missed Loki every day. It seemed almost impossible to take his mind off him, even though the people around him were doing what they could to help. His friends dragged him to the training grounds every day. They took him to the tavern, they tried to tell him lots of different stories, and they even took him outside of Ásgarðr. His mother made sure to support him, since she was the only one who knew how he really felt about Loki. 

 

They talked, and they sat in her garden. It was really nice to have someone that understood what he was going through, and it was also very nice to have her constantly reassuring him that Loki would come back. It gave him hope, and a reason to smile again. Even his father tried to distract him, but he did so mostly by sending him to different council meetings. It did take his mind off Loki, sometimes, so that was good, but Thor preferred his mother's way of dealing with it. 

 

He even went to see Heimdallr, almost every day, and he would always ask if Loki was alive. In fact, sometimes he didn't even have to ask, because of course Heimdallr knew exactly what he was going to ask of him. Instead, the gatekeeper would tell him that "Yes, he is still alive", before he even had time to open his mouth. 

 

Thor would always nod and sit down on the bridge, looking up at the stars as he thought about Loki. Maybe he was sitting there because he waited for Heimdallr to come with different news, but nothing ever happened. He did not tell him that Loki was in trouble, or that he was hurt, and as long as he did not hear those kinds of news, Thor was relieved.

 

 

****

 

After another couple of weeks, Laufey seemed to grow impatient. 

 

Loki had seen him.

 

Looking at the Casket with glaring eyes as if he knew something. He often watched him and Loki always just sat there, pretending to meditate as long as Laufey was there until he left again because he never dared to look into Laufey's eyes during these times. Loki became more nervous and jumpy around his father. 

 

Yes, he was scared of his own father when he was like this. Did he know by now? Did he find out? 

 

****

 

The more days passed, the more Thor was convinced that Loki was not coming back. 

 

He was surprised, to say the least, that he had been able to fool Laufey for so long, but on the other hand he did not want Laufey to find out the truth only so that he could have Loki back. This was good. This was all going according to plan, and if that meant having to live without Loki for quite some time - so be it. It was difficult, though, for Thor to be happy these days. 

 

He tried not to think about Loki, but there were always different reminders that would set it all off. Food was usually the thing that got him going. 

 

Today, he had to leave a feast simply because he kept staring at the fruits and the chocolate. Making his way outside, he leaned against a pillar, staring up at the stars as he wondered if Loki was all right. He did not look away until he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned around to find Sif smiling softly at him. 

 

In the last weeks and months... Sif had always been there to support him. She had always been there to help him and distract him. Comfort him. She'd been there from the start.

 

"Shouldn't you be celebrating?" she asked, and Thor shrugged his shoulders. 

 

"I am not in the mood to celebrate." 

 

Sif nodded her head. "Yes, I have noticed."

 

Thor could tell that she was trying to get him to think about something else, as she told him about taking him with them the next time they needed to fight. The warriors three and Sif had gone out for a hunt last week - which was why they now celebrated their return - but Thor didn't come with them. He'd been too distracted by his empty room.

 

"I think you would like it." She actually managed to get a smile from him, and he was definitely feeling better as they continued to talk about what fun they could have if they left Ásgarðr. All five of them. 

 

"It would be nice to have you there. The other three really know how to get under my skin," she teased, and Thor chuckled.

 

"And you think I don't?" he asked. 

 

Sif smiled, and put her hand on top of his. Thor turned his eyes down, watching their hands for a moment, before looking back up at her again. Slowly, he leant closer, and he could tell by the look on her fact that she had wished for this to happen. Moving his hand up to her cheek, he tilted his head to the side, and had almost pressed their lips together when there was a voice behind them. 

 

"Thor!" 

 

Pulling back, they both turned around. 

 

"Oh, sorry," Fandral said with a wide smile. "Didn't mean to interrupt." 

 

Volstagg pushed him to the side and shook his head at him. "Yes, we did. Thor, we thought you should know, your father has gone to see Heimdallr. Apparently it was important." 

 

Furrowing his brow, Thor watched them with a confused look on his face. "Heimdallr? But why?"

 

****

 

"Loki. Come here for a moment." Laufey said and Loki tensed up. 

 

He turned around and when he was getting so close that he could look at the other side of the throne. He could see the Casket next to his armrest. 

 

"Yes, father?" Loki asked and struggled to keep up a straight face. 

 

In fact he felt like just running away but of course he could not do that. There was still the possibility that he hadn't noticed. Almost six months. He'd been able to hold him off for almost half a year and now this should be it? Loki hoped it wasn't. 

 

"Tell me how long..." he started and suddenly wrapped his hands around him so tightly Loki feared he was about to crush his ribcage. 

 

He let out a pained growl and struggled when Laufey continued.

 

"How long did you think I'd fall for this? I hoped I was wrong but apparently, my own son is a traitor." Laufey snarled, holding him with more force each second. 

 

Loki's breath was irregular because of the rising panic inside of him and he tried to get free - but it was no use. 

 

 _Thor_. This was the only thing that flashed through his mind. _Thor_. He still needed to get back to him. 

 

Loki was already about to start a spell but Laufey stopped him, using one of his hands to cup his face. 

 

"Do you really think I cannot distinguish the Casket from a fake?" the king continued and moved his thumb, pressing the tip of his sharp nail under his eye. 

 

"The tears of Bergelmir..." he said and pressed, making Loki cry out. 

 

Laufey cut through his skin and flesh, through the markings that showed that he was related to the legendary Bergelmir. Loki screamed and he could feel tears gathering in his eyes, the way Laufey pressed down to his ribcage almost making him pass out.

 

"You are not worthy of his markings." Laufey continued and moved on to his forehead, cutting his markings there. His crown. It was so deep that Loki could feel him scratching over his scalp and he let out another scream, trying to loosen his grip, his own dark nails dragging and scratching across Laufey's palm. But it was no use. 

 

"You are not worthy of the crown. You are a _disgrace_. I cannot believe you betrayed your own family. Your kingdom..." Laufey stood up, pulling Loki up with him. 

 

Loki heard something cracking inside of him when Laufey tightened his grip once more and the air was pushed out of his lungs. 

 

 _Thor_. 

 

Tears were mixing up with the blood on his face and the pain made him almost completely deaf because his head was spinning. He couldn't see properly anymore and barely felt how his head was pulled up when Laufey grabbed one of his horns. 

 

_No!_

 

Loki's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to cry for help but then there was another horrible sound of bones cracking and bursting when Laufey broke one half of one of his horns. Loki's throat already hurt from crying out but he continued, even if he couldn't even hear himself anymore. The king let him fall down and when he hit the ground, he let out another pained cry, trying to move. But he couldn't. His body was aching and he couldn't even keep his eyes open anymore even if he tried.

 

His vision blurred. He could see someone running towards him. But he couldn't see who it was. 

 

 _Thor_.

 

Then, everything went black around him.

 

****

 

Byleistr had no idea how long it took until Heimdallr finally opened the Bifröst for him. Of course it took some time - everyone knew that no Frost Giant was allowed to enter Ásgarðr without Odin's permission. He looked back and heard someone yelling, the sound of someone fighting. He wanted to help, but their plan had been that if something happened to Loki, he would be the one to bring him back to Ásgarðr and he would do exactly that. 

 

"Heimdallr!!" he called once again and looked into the sky when finally he could see the rainbow bridge.

 

It was opening and soon there was a drag that pulled him up and into the other realm. It was his first time travelling through the realms with the bridge and he was a little dizzy, stumbling a few meters forward when he landed again. Once he finally managed to walk straight again, he looked down to see the gatekeeper and Odin. 

 

"Why are you here?" Odin asked and saw Loki in his arms, frowning when he saw the prince. 

 

"What happened? You should know that Frost Giants are only allowed here if there are no other options." 

 

"I know, Allfather. I had a promise to keep, this is why I am here." Byleistr replied. Their plan was perfect but unfortunately... the ending didn't turn out like they hoped it would. 

 

"Laufey tried to kill Loki. Please, he needs your healers."

 

****

 

His friends shook their heads because apparently, no one knew what this urgent matter was about.

 

"We don't know. All we know is that it was urgent. Odin disappeared pretty quickly." 

 

Thor looked around at the rest of them, letting out a sigh. 

 

"What should I do?" he asked, giving them a confused look. He had no idea what to do in this kind of situation. 

 

Should he go there and help? Should he stay here? Did his father not want him to know about this? After all, if he did want his help, wouldn't he have sent someone after him? Someone who... did know what he was supposed to do. His friends looked just as unsure as he felt. Finally, Thor turned to Sif, and he could see that she looked a little upset, perhaps even disappointed. 

 

"You should stay in the palace," she said quietly. "Stay here, wait for your father to come back, and then you can help him." 

 

Looking at her for a long moment, Thor nodded his head. "Thank you," he said. 

 

"Should we leave the two of you alone?" Fandral asked, still with that big grin on his face. Thor and Sif both gave them looks, and he shrugged his shoulders. 

 

"Well, it did look like you were in the middle of something." shaking his head, Thor put his arm around Sif's waist and led her away from there, waiting for the other three to follow. It would be better to wait inside the palace, where he could receive news of what had happened. 

 

Thor and the other four moved back into the palace, walking through the hallways while waiting for news of what had happened. They received none, but then the servants were walking by, whispering about _two Frost Giants in Ásgarðr_. 

 

His eyes widening, Thor turned away and hurried over to them. 

 

"What Frost Giants? Where did they take them?" They looked at him with wide eyes. 

 

"I do not know, my lord. But one of them looked badly wounded, so perhaps they took him to the healing chambers?" 

 

Thor stared. His stomach dropped to the floor, and he was quite sure his heart had stopped beating once again. Not wasting another second, he started running, ignoring the calls of his friends. He ran all the way over to the healing chambers, his eyes widening when he entered the room and recognised the one laying there. 

 

"Loki?" He tried to step forward, but suddenly Fandral and Volstagg had grabbed him from behind, trying to pull him away from there. They had to use all of their strength to move him even a centimeter, and suddenly Thor felt as though he was back in Jötunheimr, when Loki had been hurt and he had been dragged away from him. 

 

"No!" he shouted, trying desperately to get them off him. Fandral attempted to make him see reason. "Thor, listen to me. Let them do their job. You will be of no good to anyone like this." But Thor shook his head. 

 

"No! Loki!" He was just about to call for his hammer, when the healer told them that there was nothing they could do for him, and they may as well let Thor through. As soon as they had released him, Thor rushed past his father and over to Loki's side, kneeling down next to him while barely listening to the healer telling him to be gentle with Loki. 

 

Breathing heavily, his hands trembling, he stared at Loki, his gaze moving over his injuries. 

 

"Loki..." he whispered. "What has he done to you?" 

 

Loki was badly wounded. His entire upper body was bruised and he was barely breathing. There was blood all over his face and one of his horns was broken. Thor felt his heart clenching and he fear made its way through his entire body. 

 

He didn't even recognise the rest of the people in this room, he just looked at Loki, not realising his father, Loki's brother and forgetting everything around him. 

 

"...Thor?" someone said and when Thor turned around, he realised it was Byleistr.

 

He hoped he would tell him what happened. He needed to know. He needed to know what had gone wrong, even though he couldn't do anything against it anymore. But Byleistr did not say a word. Instead, he hauled off and before Thor could react, Byleistr hit him right across his face, sending Thor flying down to the ground. His head snapped to the side and he could tell that there was some bleeding as he put his hand over his nose. 

 

His friends had gotten their weapons out by now.

 

"If Loki dies, it is all your fault!" Byleistr yelled. "You should've never let him return if you knew what Laufey wanted to do. Helblindi and I wanted to go to Ásgarðr and ask for help, but Loki forbid it because he didn't want you to get hurt!"

 

Three guards and Odin had put themselves between those two, weapons ready to hold him off if he'd dare to lay a hand on their crown prince again.

 

Sif went over to him and stood by his side, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

 

"Do not listen to him, Thor. He is treating you most unfairly." 

 

Thor shook his head, and ignored the surprised looks on their faces. 

 

"No," he said quietly. "He's right." He swallowed. "He's right, I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have let him go back. I knew Laufey was dangerous, I knew, and yet I... I thought he would be able to do it. I didn't dare go against my father's wishes, but I should have." 

 

He glanced over at Odin. "If you are to blame, than he is too," Sif said, turning and glaring over at Byleistr. "Thor may not have stopped Loki, but you did not ask for help. You cannot put the blame on him."

 

"I'm more of a help for my little big brother than you've ever been and ever will be, Odinson." he snarled and looked at Loki once again. 

 

Then he turned back to look at Sif. "I wanted to call for help. But I cannot deny my brother's wishes. I'm sworn to obey him. He is not only my brother, but my prince and king." he explained. 

 

Thor turned his eyes down at Byleistr's words, suddenly wishing his mother was here to hold him, just as she had done when Loki had left. But he was not a little boy anymore, and he could not count on his mother to comfort him. Besides, he could not show himself weak. Part of him wanted nothing more than to cry, but he obviously could not do that with so many people around. At least he had Sif next to him, and she was certainly a small comfort, even though he suddenly realised how unfair it was to get her hopes up when he still had feelings for Loki. He had feelings for Sif too, he would not deny this, but were they as strong as the ones he had for Loki? He did not think so. 

 

Byleistr seemed to calm down though and Thor was relieved. Kneeling down so they were now able to look each other in the eyes at the same height, Byleistr continued. 

 

"I meant no disrespect." there was a short pause and his eyes moved on to Thor. "Our fathers are the main reason for this. Your fair lady is probably... right." he admitted after another while

 

He continued to listen to Byleistr, once again nodding his head at his words. He could hear Fandral snort in the background when Sif was called a fair lady, and he glanced over his shoulder at him before looking back at Byleistr. Sif refused to leave his side, and Thor had a feeling she still did not trust Byleistr, even though he had obviously calmed down. He was grateful for it, though, even if he would never have allowed her to stand in between them. If anyone deserved to get hurt and punished for what had happened to Loki, it was most certainly him. 

 

Well, him and Laufey. He listened to the healer explain Loki's current condition, and he clenched his hands into fists, this time shaking because of suppressed anger. Sif must have noticed, and she turned to give him a worried look. 

 

"Thor," she said. "Do not do anything stupid." 

 

Too focused on the anger that was quickly spreading through his body as well as his mind, Thor barely acknowledged that she had spoken. He wanted to kill him. He wanted to go to Jötunheimr and do to Laufey what Laufey had done to Loki. He could not be allowed to get away with this. 

 

"That is a good advice." Odin finally said and walked over to Thor and Sif. 

 

Putting a hand on his shoulder, he stayed like this for a moment, trying to at least support him a little. 

 

"Thor, listen to Sif. Byleistr already told me that Helblindi and Nál will take care of the situation in Jötunheimr. You will regret it if you rush into Jötunheimr now. If you don't watch out you might even get killed." Odin continued, worry clearly audible in his voice. "Sif, bring him to his chambers and calm him down." he then said before letting go of his shoulder. "We will take care of everything else." 

 

Thor gave his father a hopeless look, slowly shaking his head at him. No, he didn't want to leave. It was his fault, and he needed to do something. Either he would go to Jötunheimr and show Laufey that this was completely unacceptable, or he would stay here with Loki and wait for him to get better. How was he supposed to sit in his room and do nothing? But Sif took his arm and began to pull him away from there, and pretty sure the warriors three were assisting her. 

 

This time, he did not try to fight them. He almost seemed to be in a state or shock, and he wasn't thinking clearly enough to be able to stop them. They took this to their advantage, and slowly moved him through the hallways and to his chambers. Once they got there, they put him down on the bed, and without Thor really noticing, the warriors left the room. 

 

Thor stared at the same spot on the floor, caught somewhere between anger, frustration, hopelessness, and shock. He felt numb, and he wasn't entirely sure how to deal with it. He hadn't experienced this many emotions at once since he had first woken up after being taken back to Ásgarðr. He was vaguely aware of someone sitting down next to him on the bed. 

 

"How are you feeling?"

 

He turned his head to look at Sif, saying nothing to answer her question. She sighed, and gave him a compassionate look. 

 

"This must be hard for you." 

 

Pressing his lips together, Thor tilted his head down. "I don't know what to do. I feel like such a failure."

 

He was not afraid to admit that to her, even though he knew he was supposed to be strong. He was a prince of Ásgarðr, and weakness was not allowed. He felt her hands against his cheeks, and she tilted his head back up again. 

 

"You are not a failure, Thor. You did what you had to do. He wanted to leave. He made the decision. It is not your fault."

 

Thor continued to shake his head, and she seemed to make a swift decision, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tightly. 

 

"He will be fine," she whispered. "He will be fine." 

 

Thor wanted so badly to believe her. 

 

Thor stayed in Sif's arms for a long time before he finally pulled back again. Heaving a deep sigh, he kept his eyes down for a moment before meeting her. 

 

"I'm sorry, Sif. You should... You should go be with the others. Enjoy the rest of the feast. I will be fine." 

 

He tried to show her a smile. It wasn't fair for her to be here. They'd been having such a good night, and he didn't want to drag her into this. She shouldn't have to be the one to comfort him. If anything, he was supposed to comfort himself. He wished he didn't have to look so weak in front of her. Not that he had ever had a problem with appearing less than strong, at least not in front of the people he trusted, but this was different. There was no reason for her to stay. Sif, on the other hand, seemed to think differently. 

 

"You don't get it, do you?" she said with a somewhat sad smile, before leaning in and pressing their lips together. 

 

The kiss came out of nowhere, at least for Thor, and for a long moment he did not know how to react to it. He just sat there, trying to get his brain to work, in order to do something. Finally, he responded, and he lifted his hand to her cheek, pressing his lips to her in return. It did not last for long, merely a few seconds, and it did not go beyond the innocent pressure of their lips against each other. 

 

Then, Thor began to think of Loki again, and he slowly pulled away from her, still keeping the hand on her cheek. He could see in her eyes that she was waiting - probably holding her breath - for his reaction, and he suddenly felt even guiltier, because the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her. Sif seemed to understand, and she nodded her head, leaning down and putting her head against his chest. Thor wrapped his arms around her, placing a kiss to the top of her head. 

 

They stayed like that for several minutes, before Sif pulled away from him and stood up, obviously trying to conceal her wet eyes from him. Thor stood up too, reaching for her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

 

"I'm sorry, Sif," he said, but she shook her head. 

 

"Don't be," she told him. "It just makes it worse." 

 

Thor understood. She did not want him to pity her. But he didn't pity her, necessarily, he was just genuinely sorry that he couldn't promise his heart to her right now. It belonged to someone else, and until his feelings for Loki had vanished, he could not pursue a relationship with Sif, no matter how easier it may have been. Giving him a sad smile, she leant in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, and Thor closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again to watch her leave. At the door, she turned back and met his eyes. 

 

"Be careful," she told him, and Thor bowed his head in acknowledgement. 

 

After she had left, he began to pace the room, telling himself not to do anything stupid. His father's voice echoed inside his head, and he knew he should listen to him. He should not go to Jötunheimr. But he could not stay away from Loki. He could not stay in this room. Making a swift decision, he headed towards the door and left the room, checking to make sure that his friends were nowhere around to catch him, before walking back towards the healing chambers. 

 

Once he got there, he waited long enough for a healer to pass, before making his way through another hallway and into the room where Loki was being kept. 

 

And he froze. 

 

Stopping at the entrance, he stared over at Byleistr and Baldr, wondering what his brother was doing there. 

 

He still did not like having him around Loki, nothing had changed about that, and as soon as he got a little closer, he noticed that he had his hand on his forehead. Immediately, that familiar jealousy made itself known, and Thor tilted his head down, clenching his jaw as well as his fists. What was he even doing here? Why was he so obsessed with Loki? Thor did not understand it. Why couldn't he just let him be? If it was Frost Giants he was interested in, then he had one right next to him, one that was not in any pain. Taking a few steps closer, Thor took a deep breath in order to calm himself down before speaking up. 

 

"What are you doing here, Baldr?" he asked, trying to sound as polite as he possibly could, even though he wanted nothing more than to rip Baldr away from Loki's side. 

 

Baldr frowned and turned to look at him even if he didn't pull away from Loki. "Making sure that nothing happens to him. Prepare myself for the moment when he wakes up. I bet he'll be confused so I'll be here to explain everything to him. And what exactly are you doing here brother?"

 

Blinking, Thor clenched his jaw even harder when Baldr spoke. Furrowing his brow, he tilted his head to the side. What? Baldr thought he was going to be the one to explain to Loki what was going on? Why? He was the last person to tell Loki what was going on. Thor should do it. Or Byleistr. Or Odin, or Frigga. Or even one of the healers. All of them made more sense than Baldr. He had spoken to Loki, sure, but he didn't know him, and he didn't want anything to do with him. And unless he had forgotten, Loki hadn't exactly appreciated his presence the last time they had spoken. Or maybe it was mostly Thor who had not appreciated his presence... 

 

Either way, he did not understand why Baldr thought he should be the one to do this. 

 

"I am here because I am his friend." Thor managed to get out without sounding too angry, glancing over at Byleistr before looking back at his brother. "I have a right to be here. I have known him longer than you have. He trusts me. You seem to have yourself fooled enough to think that Loki would appreciate you telling him what happened."

 

"You don't have the right." Baldr replied firmly. "Father told me to tell you that you I should look out for Loki and that you should concentrate on your relationship with Sif. It's been working out great for you two and he doesn't want you to be distracted." he explained and turned to look back at Loki. He cupped his face with both of his hands now, Loki's head almost resting on Baldr's knees.

 

If Thor had been angry a moment ago, it was nothing compared to how angry he was right now. Taking a step closer, he actually reached for Mjölnir, only to realise she wasn't there. He would have to summon her first, and he wasn't angry enough to do that. He wasn't blaming Baldr for what his father had said. He understood why his father had said it, and he understood it wasn't his brother's fault. It was something he would have to discuss with Odin some other time. What did make him angry was that Baldr actually dared to touch Loki like that, cupping his face, without knowing if Loki would actually want him to do that or not. Now, it was different for Thor. 

 

First of all, he hadn't even cupped his face like that, and second of all, he knew that Loki didn't complain about his touches. He even knew that Loki liked them. Baldr, on the other hand, had only spent a few minutes with Loki. Thor had said that he had treated him like an animal, and he was standing by that point. His brother was touching Loki as if he was a mere object - something he could touch however much he wanted while he was unconscious and unable to express how he felt about it. It was wrong, and it infuriated him. He barely even listened to what Byleistr was telling him, and quite frankly, Thor was wondering why he wasn't more upset about this. Why did he think it was all right for some random stranger to touch his brother like this? 

 

Byleistr finally let out a deep breath and turned his gaze to both of them. "I heard it. Odin told Baldr to make sure that you don't get too close to Loki." Byleistr told him carefully

 

"And besides..." Baldr continued, looking up to Thor. "...I was the first one to touch him. So I do have the right to be here." 

 

Suddenly, Thor saw red. Stepping closer, he grabbed Baldr's collar and pushed him back on the floor, holding him there as he growled at him. 

 

"The only reason you were the first to touch him was because you were restraining him! He didn't want you to touch him! You managed to do nothing other than holding him back. I was the one who managed to calm him down!"

 

Baldr was obviously caught off guard and his eyes widened as his own hands started clenching around Thor's wrists. 

 

"The only reason I had to retrain him in the first place was because you failed to protect him!"

 

Thor could not believe what he was hearing. He was so angry he was shaking. How could he? He didn't know the whole story! It was one thing for Byleistr to accuse him of failing to protect Loki, but Baldr had no right to say such something like that. It was none of his business! Why did he even care? It was just an empty accusation. He wasn't saying it because he cared about Loki and he wanted him to be safe, he was saying it because he was trying to put the blame on Thor.

 

"Thor..." Baldr then continued, quiet so Byleistr wouldn't hear him. "I already told you: I don't want to harm Loki! I merely want to study him. But this is a great opportunity to understand Jötuns and how they function. How they work. Don't you see it? The last time... Loki told me about the meanings of his markings. He let out those around his legs so I kind of... looked for myself. You wouldn't believe it. I didn't even know it was biologically possible to have both genders. Our scholars even told me they would be grateful for every tiny information I could get." 

 

As soon as Baldr had finished speaking, Thor couldn't hold back anymore. He raised his fist and then delivered the first blow to Baldr's face. Gritting his teeth, he delivered a second one, and then a third, and was just about to hit him again when he felt two people grabbing him from behind and pulling him away. His friends must have realised he would come back, and Volstagg and Fandral were once again using all of their strength to get Thor away from his brother. 

 

"How dare you!" Thor shouted at him, trying to get away from his friends so that he could hit his brother again. 

 

"How dare you! You're treating him like an animal! Like he is nothing more than a mindless creature there for your studying! I was one of them! I was one of them ever since I was a child, does that make me a mindless beast too?" 

 

He was still fighting to get away from his friends, and Hogun stepped forward to help holding him back. "You have no right! I've seen what they all think of him, he knows it too. They all stare at him, judging him, but you are worse, Brother. You like to think that you're above all of them, that you're better than them, but you're not. You disgust me." 

 

Finally, he had stopped fighting, and now he was just standing there, panting, with his friends still holding on to him just in case. "He is no monster," he said quietly. "He is a much better person than you."

 

Baldr held his nose, pushing himself away from Thor. He breathed heavily, his lip was burst open and there was blood running down his nose.

 

"You weren't one of them, Thor. You just looked like one of them - that is something entirely different."  
There was a long silence and then - Byleistr finally interfered. 

 

"Did I hear this right?" Byleistr interrupted and stood up, slowly walking towards Baldr. "You touched my brother where no one apart from his lover should touch him?" he continued with a deep growl in his voice and suddenly, Baldr's expression froze. 

 

For a moment Byleistr looked like he was about to hit him but then decided against it. Instead he just took another step closer, making Baldr back away. 

 

"I don't want you near him anymore. If you touch him without his absolute permission again - it will have been the last time you have hands. Do you understand?" and with that, Loki's brother looked at Thor, giving him a subtle nod. Baldr breathed deeply, giving his brother an almost offended gaze before he turned to leave the room without saying anything else.

 

Closing his eyes, Thor tilted his head down for a moment. As much as it may have looked like it, it wasn't actually easy for him to yell at his brother. He liked him. He had liked him from the moment he first met him, but when it came to Loki and the topic of Frost Giants... He disagreed with him. In fact, his brother's actions made him furious. He could not understand why he could not see that what he was doing was wrong. Even his friends were more respectful. Fandral had gone after him, but he had treated him no differently than he had treated any other of his conquests. He hadn't focused on the fact that Loki was Jötun. Baldr, on the other hand, had focused on nothing other than the fact that Loki was Jötun from the very beginning. 

 

At least Fandral knew how to treat another person. He had kissed his hand, but the moment Loki (and Thor) had made it clear that his attention was not wanted, he had backed off.

 

Baldr had continued to touch Loki, and not only had he touched him, he had touched him where no one should touch Loki without his permission. Just the thought of it was enough to make Thor shake with anger again, and his friends held him a bit tighter just in case he decided to go after his brother. He didn't, though, and he took a deep breath as they slowly pulled away from him, all of them too stunned by what had just happened to say anything. 

 

"I apologise on behalf of my brother," Thor said, turning his eyes to Byleistr. "He should not have touched Loki without his permission. And I also want to apologise for comparing my situation to yours. I know they are very different. I may have grown up in Jötunheimr, but I was never truly one of you, though I will always look back on my childhood with fondness."

 

Byleistr nodded at Thor when he apologised to him. But then he let out a chuckle and shook his head, giving him a light pat on the shoulder, careful that he wouldn't pat him too hard. 

 

"Of course you're one of us. You fought with our warriors. You lived in Jötunheimr. You were raised by us. You were my brother's personal guard and lived in the palace with us - you even fought against Helblindi and you even won! And who knows, maybe you even had a nice lady back in Jötunheimr." he said with a wide grin on his lips.

 

"I don't think this life counts as _not_ one of us. You're one of us. And you're one of them - simple as that." he continued with a shrug. 

 

It was strange to suddenly find himself smiling again, as he had not done so for what felt like an eternity but was probably no more than a few hours. It was nice to hear that Byleistr thought he was one of them. Thor had certainly felt like one of them. He had grown up believing he was Jötun. He had looked like them, he had been raised by Jötun parents... Of course he had thought he was one of them. And Byleistr was right, he had fought with the warriors, and he had been Loki's personal guard. And there had been some ladies, but that was a long time ago.

 

He then turned his head to his brother again for a moment. "You were right. Loki trusts you. Did you know? All he was talking about was you once he got his memories back." he said, this time his voice was quiet so not all of them would be able to hear him before speaking up again. 

 

It was also incredibly good to hear that Loki had mentioned him, that Loki had been thinking about him. He hoped he would wake up soon, as he could not wait to speak to him now that he had his memories back. 

 

"All of you should go to sleep so Loki can rest. I will let you know when he wakes up."

 

Taking a step closer, he bowed his head at Byleistr to show his appreciation. 

 

"Thank you," he said, and he hoped Byleistr knew he was thanking him for telling him that he was one of them and for telling him he would let him know when Loki woke up. 

 

Throwing one more glance at Loki, he left the room and bid his friends good night, making sure to tell the guards to keep watch outside the healing chambers, and that they were not to let Baldr trough. They nodded their heads, and Thor made his way back to his room, feeling utterly exhausted after everything that had happened in the last few hours. Getting on the bed with his clothes still on, he fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

 

****

 

He did exactly what he told them he would. Byleistr sat down next to Loki's bed, waiting for him to wake up. And taking care of him, watching over him. But Loki didn't wake up during the night. And he didn't wake up in the morning, or during the afternoon. 

 

The healers came and changed the bandages around his head and face, his arm and his ribcage carefully. They took care of his wounds, applied lotions and tried to make him drink. Loki didn't move during the whole process. And he didn't wake up in the evening. Or this night. Or during the next day. 

 

It was frustrating because Byleistr could still hear the healers words. Laufey had used his magic back when he'd tried to kill Loki. The magic of the healers didn't work on him. Otherwise he would've been awake and healed by now. But something was preventing Loki from being healed with magic. His body had to do the entire work and all the healers could do was help him. He trusted them, but that didn't make him less worried.

 

It was already afternoon again and Byleistr already thought about asking one of the healers if there was something he could do to fasten the process, he stood up but heard a little whimper. He stopped and turned around. 

 

"Loki?" he asked and knelt down next to him again. 

 

Loki opened his eyes - or rather his eye because the other one was hidden under the bandage. 

 

His red eye moved quickly, seemingly trying to find somewhere to focus on and his chest was showing that he breathed heavily. And with every breath Byleistr could hear a faint whistle - he guessed that it was his damaged lung that made this sounds and his heart dropped with fear that he couldn't breathe properly. 

 

After all Laufey had crushed some of his ribs and the healers told him they had been cutting his organs. It was probably not healed yet. As if he was proven right, Loki tried to speak but when he opened his mouth, there was only another whimper leaving his throat. 

 

"Healers!" Byleistr called. 

 

"Loki woke up!! Call Thor immediately!!" he shouted and turned his attention back to his brother. 

 

"It's okay Loki. Don't be scared. It's okay."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, they both get to share their first kiss.

When Loki woke up, the first thing he felt was an incredible pain. 

 

His whole body hurt and he had no idea where he was. The last thing he knew was... he'd been in Jötunheimr. And then? Oh... yes. His father. He'd attacked him... and then? What happened? Loki opened his eyes and wanted to look around but he could barely move his head and he couldn't see properly. He couldn't even hear properly and he felt that he started panicking - until he could see Byleistr in front of him. He didn't know what he said but seeing his face was enough to calm him a little. 

 

Then, he looked around but couldn't recognise this room just yet. His vision was still blurry and when he was breathing, there was a stinging pain in his chest that immediately sent tears into his eyes. 

 

Slowly, someone else came into his sight and Loki's breath hitched. He wanted to move. Move closer but he couldn't. It was Thor. His eyes widened and he took a deep breath, wanting to say something. 

 

Wanted to talk to him, to finally be able to talk to him again. And now that he had his memories back he not only wanted to talk to him - but to touch him. Grab his hand and gently hold it. The prince swallowed and tried to raise one of his hands but his body didn't listen to him. How could he tell Thor that he knew who he was? That he knew everything and that he was glad that he was back? Loki knew if he'd talk, he wouldn't be able to say much. But he had to.

 

"Loki? It's Thor." Thor said quietly, leaning over him just a little. "I am here, Loki. Right here."

 

Did he think he wouldn't recognise him? But then again it was not so silly, considering what happened before.

 

"I know..." Loki started slowly and quietly, taking another deep breath. 

 

There had to be something that would make Thor understand he knew who he was. "...Have you... tried honey yet?" he finally asked.

 

Thor smiled and Loki could see the relief in his eyes as he let out a laugh. 

 

"Yes! Yes, I have. You were right. It tasted very sweet. And it was sticky."

 

Thor reached out, taking his hand in his own utterly gently and Loki saw that his eyes were getting wet.

 

"Told you." Loki replied. 

 

Everything would turn out to be okay. Thor was here and he smiled at him so he believed that everything would be okay. Though there were still these images inside of his head. The time when he lived here. These memories belonged to him but it felt like they belonged to a different person and Loki was still utterly embarrassed because of this. What he did on that balcony and back in the garden where he guided his hand. And the small gestures he didn't understand - he still couldn't grasp everything, but more than he could back then. He just hoped it didn't matter to Thor. But he'd ask him about this later. 

 

"What happened?" he asked after another moment of silence, breathing heavily. He looked down when he felt Thor's hand and returned the grip as best as he could.

 

"I'm not sure," Thor answered. "Your brother must have brought you here. The healers examined you, but I don't think they can do much. My guess is that whatever Laufey did to you is stopping them from being able to heal you fully. If you want, I can bring one of them in here to explain it to you?"

 

Laufey. Loki closed his eyes while Thor explained it to him. He could remember it... He could remember the pain he'd felt and the betrayal. His own father tried to kill him and the thought alone made his heart ache again. Loki remained like this for a moment and then decided against it, shaking his head a little. No, he didn't want anyone around right now. Just Thor. He'd missed him and was glad that he was finally here again. 

 

He already knew what Laufey did to him. He'd done it to punish someone years ago, telling him it was a spell he had been able to cast with the Casket. But now he knew that he lied to him. He never needed the Casket to use magic. The spell simply hindered magic from healing the body - or rather it slowed the process down. He wouldn't have to wait for his body to do all the work but it slowed down the magic. But he was glad that his brother seemed to be alright. Or at least one of them. What was with Helblindi and his mother? He just hoped they were okay. 

 

"Did you wait for me?" he then asked when he opened his eyes again, remembering his plea all those months ago when he left.

 

There was something in Thor's eyes he couldn't interpret. Some form of hesitation. As if Thor wanted to say something but didn't and Loki hel dhis breath for a moment. 

 

"I missed you every day," he said. "I waited, I hoped you would come back..." Thor let his eyes run down Loki's body. "But I never wanted you to come back like this."

 

"It could've been worse. At least I am back now. And I won't act that embarrassing again."

 

The healers would fix him and then he'd be able to walk around again and... well... what exactly then? He would have to go back sooner or later to see what happened to Helblindi and Nál. Letting out a sigh he licked his lips, turning his one good eye to look at Thor. He missed those blue eyes and was glad that he could finally look at those again. He wanted to say something else but two healers came into the room and Loki heard their footsteps, turning his head a bit to take a look at them. 

 

One of them stopped and put a shoulder on Thor's hand. 

 

"Could you please take a step back, your highness?" she asked before both of the healers stood next to him. 

 

"How do you feel, Loki?" a red-haired woman asked, putting her hands to Loki's temples. She removed the bandage around his head and Loki let out a sharp breath when she wiped the access blood away. 

 

"Better..." he said and pressed his lips together before asking. "Will it heal?" he then asked carefully, meaning his markings on his face and his horn. 

 

Juna, the healer, hesitated and started putting a fresh bandage over the wounds. 

 

"No." she replied and Loki closed his eyes, and grit his teeth while he tried to hold back a few tears, but failed to do so.

 

"He needs rest." the other healer said towards Thor. "We will let you know when you can come back tomorrow."

 

"I will be back tomorrow." Thor said and leaned down, brushing his thumb across Loki's cheek to wipe some of the tears away. "Get some sleep. I'll be right there."

 

****

 

Loki spent the next week in the healing chambers. His body needed to rest and even if he wanted and needed to go back to Jötunheimr, he couldn't. Not yet. The majority of his body was healed after a week but his ribs still hurt when he sat up so each time they changed the bandages, Loki needed help with his movements. It was humiliating and depressing to realise this. 

 

He was a prince. Not only a prince, but the prince of Jötunheimr. The future heir to the throne. He would rule an entire kingdom and yet, he felt useless in this moment. This shouldn't have happened and Loki wasn't sure whether to be sad or angry about all that. 

 

The only thing that made him calm again was Thor. He visited him each day for as long as he could. They didn't talk much because Loki was way too exhausted and sleepy, but that didn't matter. Thor just held his hand, watched over him. Sat by his side.

 

****

 

When Loki woke up this time - he could see clearly, realising the bandage on his face was gone. He was surprised though, after all Laufey's magic slowed the process down but apparently the healers did a very good job with this. They helped him stand up and wrapped some kind of skirt around his hips before they sat him down on the bed to put fresh bandages around his chest and his left arm. 

 

His bones were still not fully healed and they assumed it would take about another week. Much to his satisfaction, Loki felt that the bandages were firm and helping him to stand straight. 

 

Then, for the first time since Laufey had attacked him, he looked into the mirror while they were gently washing him and he almost couldn't believe what he saw. There were two large scars on his face, one underneath his left eye which it parted the tears of Bergelmir, the other one went across his forehead and cut the crown. The scars were still a bright shade of blue and when he touched them, he could feel the thin, fresh layer of skin. His right horn was broken. 

 

He was ugly.

 

His heart dropped at the sight and he felt like he was about to cry once again but he held himself back, not wanting to humiliate himself even more in front of the healers. 

 

"Can I go around the palace yet?" he asked absently and the healers looked up in surprise.

 

"You're barely able to stand straight. We... we would not recommend to-"

 

"I will ask my brother to carry me."

 

Of course it was not something the healers approved but they couldn't force him to stay here so he asked Byleistr. 

 

Byleistr explained that he already asked Heimdallr if he could tell him what was happening in Jötunheimr - but the path was blocked. Heimdallr couldn't see them. Again, Loki felt like crying. Something must have happened and they couldn't even say what it was. There was nothing they could do about it and so he asked him to bring him to Thor's chambers. Byleistr picked him up carefully and agreed, carrying him though the hallways and to the prince's room.

 

They didn't need to wait long until Thor opened the door and Loki immediately smiled at him. 

 

"Loki, what..." Thor said, obviously surprised to see him here. "Put him on the bed."

 

They entered and when they came closer, Loki could smell that Thor was freshly bathed. He smelled like soap and oils and water. Byleistr put him on the bed and knelt down in front of him.

 

"Will you be alright or should I stay?" he asked but Loki shook his head. 

 

"It's okay, you don't have to stay." meaning that he wanted to be alone with Thor. 

 

Byleistr gave Thor a quick glance before he nodded at his brother's wish and stood up, leaving the room slowly. As soon as the door was closed, Loki looked up to him, taking a deep breath. Of course he was surprised to see him here, considering his condition yesterday - but their healers did a good job so he decided to just leave to see him. 

 

"Surprise." he said with a smile and shrugged lightly, his hands resting in his lap. He just hoped he had not interrupted Thor while doing something important.

 

"It is indeed a surprise." Thor took a step closer to the bed. "I thought you would be staying in the healing rooms. I'm very happy to see you here though."

 

"The healers thought I would stay in the healing room as well. I still can't walk properly but... I can breathe again."

 

Thor sat down on the bed and Loki felt how his gaze observed him and he held his breath while Thor studied his face for a few moments. Loki had to admit that he didn't feel very comfortable while he did this. He knew how it looked like and he hated it. But there was nothing he could change about it and it was utterly frustrating. He turned his head away again so Thor wouldn't be able to see the scarred side. And the worst part of it was that there would be some on his chest as well once the wounds were fully healed.

 

"Does it hurt?" Thor asked quietly.

 

"A bit." Loki absently raised his hand to let it brush over the broken tip of his horn. "For a moment he looked like he would actually rip it off. But it's okay. I'm alive and that is what's important."

 

Though a small part of him wished that Laufey would've ripped it off and killed him with that.

 

"It's not okay Loki. Yes, you are alive, and that is what is most important, but that does not make this okay. He cannot be allowed to get away with this." Thor protested, reaching out to gently put a hand against Loki's cheek. Loki remained where he was and did not pull back when Thor reached out to touch his cheek. He still remembered his expression when Loki pulled back after he kissed his hand and he certainly didn't want to see that again. Though he had to admit that it felt weird. The tip of Thor's fingers were touching the scar under his eye and he held onto the fabric of his clothes when he felt it.

 

"I should've never let you go," he said quietly. "Your brother is right, this is my fault. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be in this bed. I will find some way to make it up to you. I promise. I will do whatever it takes."

 

"It's not your fault, Thor. You just followed my wishes so you're not the one to blame. No one knew Laufey would find out so soon." he replied and shook his head lightly. 

 

Loki hesitated and finally turned his head towards him again, allowing himself to relax a little around him. After all he trusted Thor. He'd had respected death all along. He never wanted to die and sometimes, the thought of dying made him cry but this time it had been different. Very different. 

 

"I was so afraid." he admitted quietly, biting down to his lower lip.

 

"You're safe now." Thor whispered, now resting both hands against Loki's cheeks, carefully rubbing his thumb across the cool skin. "You're safe. . I am never letting him get to you again."

 

Loki nodded and closed his eyes, leaning into Thor's touch a little. He knew he was safe but this did not change the fact that his father tried to kill him. His own son. He really hoped the others were alright. He held Thor's hand and took a deep breath after staying in this position for a few minutes, trying to calm himself down again. 

 

"I'm hungry." he suddenly said. 

 

After all he hadn't eaten something a while days now because he'd been unconscious or barely awake. "Can we go eat something? You could tell me what I've missed while I was gone." Loki suggested. 

 

And he really wanted to know what Thor had done during his absence. Though when he remembered again that he couldn't really walk and the last time he asked if Thor could carry him, he added: "I can ask Byleistr to carry me to the dining hall again."

 

Thor shook his head at that. "Nonsense. I'll carry you."

 

Standing up from the bed, Thor bent down and put one arm around Loki's shoulders and the other one underneath his knees, gently lifting him up. "Tell me if you are uncomfortable," he said, walking slowly over to the door. Opening the door, he stepped outside and threw another glance down at Loki. 

 

Loki already wanted to protest when Thor picked him up but Thor lifted him up only a few seconds later. He pressed his lips together and used one of his hands to hold onto Thor's tunic. He lifted him up like it was nothing and he couldn't help but think about last time they talked. Loki had - more or less - admitted that he had feelings for him and he still had. Those feelings were still there. He liked being in his arms even if he carried him for the first time.

 

"I'm not hurting you, am I?"

 

"No."

 

When they left the room, Loki quickly looked around and realised Byleistr was nowhere to be seen and he wondered where he went for a moment.

 

"Thor...?" Loki started while he brought him to the dining hall which he was already curious about. "...I wanted to apologise for last time. I said and did some things that were not appropriate and a bit embarrassing."

 

"There is no need to apologise. You did nothing wrong, Loki."

 

****

 

Thor put him down on the seat next to his own as soon as they reached the long table and sat down afterwards, making sure to stay close to him apparently.

 

"I thought we could finally have some together." Thor said, drawing Loki's attention back. 

 

His eyes widened a little when Thor put a jar of honey in between their plates. Thor didn't seem to mind the fact that they all stared at them as if they just did something that was forbidden. Loki licked his lips and looked around for a moment before his eyes were fixed on Thor again. Maybe he should do the same. Thor tried his very best to make him feel comfortable and welcomed. Loki assumed it was not really encouraging if he kept looking down and be silent like this. He'd have to pull himself together in order to support Thor as well. Loki guessed it was not easy for him either so Loki was willing to try to ignore the stares as well. 

 

Loki showed him a satisfied smile, reaching out to grab some fresh and warm bread. 

 

"Sounds perfect to me." he replied and grabbed the honey, pouring some of it on his bread before handing it to Thor again. He made a short pause before continuing. 

 

"Maybe you could show me the rest of the market once I'm fully healed again?"

 

"Of course," Thor replied, taking a bite of his bread. "You didn't even get a chance to taste any of the sweets, and we simply can't have that."

 

He let out a chuckle at this but stopped when a pain filled his chest. He raised his hand and put it on top of his chest, taking a few deep breaths to ease the pain. "No I haven't." he agreed and sighed. Maybe he should spare the laughter for later.

 

"You look beautiful as always, Loki." Fandral suddenly interrupted them and Loki blinked in surprise, tilting his head to the side a little.

 

"Thank you Fandral. I appreciate your compliment." Loki then replied. 

 

Fandral frowned a little, obviously not completely sure why Loki reacted in such a different way now and it make Loki wonder whether or not Fandral and the others knew of his memory loss and how it affected his behaviour back then.

 

"But I prefer to be called beautiful by Thor." Loki then dared to add. 

 

He knew that he'd - more or less - told Thor already that he had feelings for him and he knew as well that Thor felt about him the same way and he was not afraid about what Odin may think. He could tell that he didn't seem to be comfortable with Thor being affectionate to him but Odin couldn't forbid Loki to like his small gestures of affection. And he couldn't forbid him to talk about it.

 

Loki could've sworn Odin almost choked on his drink, but he didn't care.

 

"It doesn't happen often, but Fandral does have a point. You do look beautiful." Thor said, taking the opportunity that Fandral seemed to be too startled to actually answer.

 

Loki couldn't suppress a shy smile. It was always different when Thor called him beautiful. And especially now that he had those wounds. That he still called him beautiful despite the scars and his broken horn made his heart race. 

 

"I still don't know how to respond to compliments if they make my heart beat faster." Loki replied and suppressed another wide smile by pressing his lips together before turning away a little to take a bite of his bread.

 

"I think seeing you blush is enough of a response," Thor said with another smile. "I don't need anything else." taking a sip of his drink, he studied him for a moment before leaning closer again. "Besides, you look even more beautiful when you are blushing."

 

Thor was so close he could feel his warm breath on his skin and right now, Loki didn't even care that all the others could see just how close they were right now. 

 

"Well... I'm just blushing because you said it. So this view is for you only." he then said, continuing to look at him to see a possible reaction on his face. 

 

Did he do it right? He only read about it up to now and this was his first time to attempt to flirt with someone. Or even to show affection at all - so he hoped he'd done it right. 

 

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he responded, his voice perhaps a bit darker than normal, and then leant back in his seat again.

 

The way Thor's voice suddenly changed certainly had an effect on him and Loki could feel goose bumps on his skin when he noticed that his voice was darker than it usually was. All this was completely new for him but he started to enjoy it. Enjoy all those different kind of feelings that flooded his body. Feelings he never thought he could have - from which he didn't even know they existed in the first place. He took another bite of the bread, relishing the taste of honey on his tongue. He was not sure how long it had been since he'd last eaten it and he was probably happier about the fact that he'd get to eat it whenever he wanted to now, than he should. 

 

Then, something else crossed his mind. He'd thought about it back in Jötunheimr when Thor still was his personal guard but he never really had the chance to talk about this with him. 

 

"What about dancing? Remember when we once talked about it back in my palace?" he asked. "I've learned a bit for myself. Belly dancing. I found it in a book about Midgard and it's amazing so I taught it to myself." Loki made a short pause and took a sip of his drink. "But now that we don't have to bother about touching and all... I'd love to try and dance with someone else."

 

This time it was Thor who almost choked on his drink and Loki wondered why that was.

 

"That sounds most interesting," he said, his voice still a little rough from the coughing. "It is too bad you missed the celebration we were having the night that you got here. You could have danced with someone then."

 

"Have you danced with someone yet?"

 

"Yes, I have." Thor replied and Loki followed his gaze... towards Sif. Thor and she shared a long look before she looked away again, the faint hint of a smile on her lips.

 

Loki figured they danced but something was obviously not right. He didn't understand much of those things but he could tell the difference of something was fine and something was wrong. He just hoped it was nothing serious. When he first came here they both seemed to be very good friends after all. Looking at Thor for a moment, he figured he might as well change the subject. Loki looked around, trying to think of something else to talk about. He didn't want to see Thor sad in any way. 

 

And while he looked around he noticed that someone was missing. Not that Loki missed him or wanted him to be here but it irritated him a little bit that he was missing. 

 

"Where is Baldr by the way?"

 

"I don't know," Thor said, turning back to look at Loki. "I don't know where he is. I haven't really spoken to him since our fight."

 

"You two had a fight?" he asked and shook his head.

 

He'd seen that there were some things they both didn't agree with. They were brothers and they obviously loved each other but they had their differences. Though he never thought they'd actually start fighting. And Loki had to admit that he was curious why that happened. 

 

"Why that? What happened?" he asked. This was not really what he hoped he'd do. Actually he wanted to distract him and make him think about something that made him happy and now Thor had to think about the fight he had with his brother. He probably shouldn't have asked but... yes he was curious and he felt that now that he would probably live here and grow closer to Thor he somehow had the right to slowly get to know everything about him. 

 

"We just... have very different views of how you are supposed to treat other people."

 

"...Okay." this was not really what Loki was hoping to hear. 

 

He could guess that it had something to do with the way Baldr acted around him but he was not sure why they would start a fight that ended up so bad they didn't even talk to each other. The worst he'd seen was Thor shoving Fandral against that pillar after he kissed the back of his hand. Apparently something worse must've happened and Loki couldn't think of anything. But Thor seemed like he did not want to tell him. Whether right now or not at all... he couldn't tell. But he'd find out sooner or later - as soon as they were along he could probably ask him for details if he was willing to reveal any. 

 

"It seems my two sons had an argument about you." Odin interrupted suddenly and Loki blinked in surprise, looking up to the king. He was still intimidating, even from where he sat now. 

 

Frigga looked up, giving her husband a look.

 

"I think our two boys should discuss that matter alone first. They're grown up." she argued and Odin looked at her, taking a deep breath. He looked like he wanted to say something but Frigga raised her eyebrows and that apparently made Odin change his mind.

 

"Thor's friends are respectful enough to not interrupt his conversation with Loki, so why don't we respect their privacy as well?"

 

"They could've stayed in Thor's room if they want some privacy."

 

That earned Odin another harsh glare from Frigga. "Odin, let them." she said calmly, reaching out to put a hand on Odin's. 

 

The king licked his lips and then, silently, continued eating.

 

Alright - different subject. And now preferably something that wouldn't drag Thor down even further. Loki had finished the little piece of meat he grabbed and decided it would be time for desert now. 

 

"Do you have pudding?" he asked and looked around. Again he'd read about it but never tried it. And since Asgardian food seemed to be limitless, Loki was almost completely sure that they'd have it. 

 

Thor chuckled, nodding his head at him. "We do, yes, but not usually for breakfast. I am sure I could get you some, though, if you want."

 

Turning around, Thor motioned at one of the servants standing by the wall, beckoning her forward.

 

"Loki here wants to know if we have any pudding," he told her, giving her a smile. "Would you mind running down to the kitchens and see if we have some pudding down there?" 

 

She bowed her head. "Not at all, my lord." Thor thanked her and sent her on her way, turning back to Loki again

 

"There you go. You should have your pudding soon."

 

Loki watched Thor while he talked to the servant and - of course - he noticed the way he treated her. He could still remember how he himself treated his servants more than a year ago and he couldn't help but smile when he noticed just how kind Thor was to everyone. Literally everyone. And he enjoyed watching him. He loved this spark in his eyes when he smiled, the tone in his voice when he asked for something even if he could simply demand it. Thor was tall and broad, muscular and maybe even a little rough. But the way he acted was so soft and careful that it almost made his heart ache. Suppressing a smile when he addressed him again, Loki nodded.

 

"I'll hope so." he replied and finished his cup. He still didn't know what it was but it tasted good. It was something he'd never had before either. Just juice, milk, tea and things like this. 

 

"Is it normal that it's getting all warm and dizzy in your head or is it because it's something I'm not used to drink?"

 

Thor hesitated and chuckled, taking Loki's goblet and sniffing on it. "I would say it's a little bit of both. It's called mead. But I think you should go for something else to drink."

 

"Hm..." Loki said absently and leaned back in his chair to look at the ceiling. It was so high and the ornaments and details and the pictures were intriguing. Loki could look at them forever and he could swear that the longer he stared - the more details he saw. And it just didn't stop. A smile spread across his face, revealing snow white teeth when his lips parted. 

 

"Your hig--" the servant stopped and started again. "Loki?" he was snapped out of his thoughts. 

 

"Your pudding." she said with a warm smile and put it on the table. 

 

"Thank you." Loki immediately said though he was a little disappointed that she did not finish what she wanted to ask first. But on the other hand he couldn't blame her, after all he was not her prince. 

 

"Do you want to try it too?" Loki offered with a smile and pushed the bowl to Thor a little bit.

 

Thor shook his head. "No, thank you. I've had it before. Besides, you are the one with the sweet tooth. If anyone should eat pudding, it's definitely you."

 

"What's with the flavour?" Loki asked after taking the first spoon of it. The pudding was yellow and there were incredibly tiny black dots everywhere in it. "I don't think I've tasted it before."

 

"Vanilla." Thor answered with a smile before he suddenly grabbed Loki's hand and guided it to his own mouth so he could take the spoon into his mouth. 

 

"I changed my mind." Thor said with a grin after finishing. "It looked so good when you were eating it."

 

Loki chuckled again and shook his head, nudging his side with his elbow. Though before either of them could say anything else, Odin decided to say something again.

 

"Thor, I need you to attend another meeting." he said, standing up. "I will have the servants bring Loki back to the healin-"

 

"I won't let anyone else carry me." Loki interrupted him and the room went quiet.

 

"...Then I will call for your brother."

 

"I don't want this either. I don't want anyone to touch me except Thor." Loki added with a firm voice and turned to look back at Thor, his expression immediately softening. "Can we go back to your room?"

 

Thor looked startled for a few seconds but then caught himself again and stood up.

 

"Yes... yes of course." he said, looking at his father. "I will bring Loki to my chambers and make sure he is comfortable. Then I'll attend the meeting. . If I am late, I apologise, but there is nothing I can do about it." 

 

Odin looked like he very much wanted to protest, because after all he was king and Thor was supposed to follow his rules, but Frigga put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft smile. It was amazing, really, how easy it could sometimes be for her to calm her husband down. He let out a sigh, and finally nodded his head at Thor. 

 

Turning to look at Loki, Thor gave him a triumphant smile. "Are you ready?" he asked, before bending down and lifting him into his arms again. While being watched by the entire room, Thor carried him out of there, and Loki noticed that his friends looked both surprised and impressed. 

 

****

 

"Brother." Byleistr said and Loki looked up from his book.

 

He'd been lying here for about three hours when he came in. Loki gave him a thin smile when Byleistr sat down.

 

"You look worried." Loki noticed.

 

""I am. I talked to Heimdallr but unfortunately, the path to Jötunheimr is blocked. We have to find another way to get back into Jötunheimr. Your ways."

 

"Blocked? How is it blocked?" Loki asked and shook his head in disbelief. Byleistr just let out a sigh. 

 

"We don't know. It must be Laufey. Heimdallr can't see what is going on in Jötunheimr. Neither can he open the Bifröst to get us there." he replied. 

 

This didn't really help but Loki figured they just couldn't do anything about it now. Loki was in no condition to cast any spells so they had to wait. Though he felt somehow responsible for what happened. He had been brought here even if he knew no one really wanted him to be here. Loki sighed and looked at the ceiling again. He hated waiting. If it was for him, they should solve this problem now but he knew this was not possible. 

 

"How are you feeling? I hope Thor treats you well." Byleistr then asked, changing the subject and Loki let out a small chuckle, nodding his head. 

 

"I'm better already and Thor is..." he made a short pause and bit his lower lip. "He is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. I don't know much about those kind of things but I think he is flirting with me."

 

Byleistr looked like he did not really approve this but he didn't seem to hate it. Instead he put his large hand on Loki's head for a moment and sighed. 

 

"As long as he is nice to you." he said and Loki nodded. "You showed me one of the paths you can use many years ago. Remember? I still know where it is so... I will go and talk to Heimdallr about this. Maybe he can use them too. Then you do not have to strain yourself." Byleistr said and stood up before he left the room to head back to the gatekeeper. 

 

The prince grabbed a book from the bedside cabinet and wanted to continue reading in it for a while, but someone else already entered the room, not even a minute after Byleistr was gone. 

 

It was Baldr. 

 

Loki was just about to tell him to leave when he said something first. 

 

"I wanted to apologise." Baldr said and sat down on the bed next to him. Loki shifted away a little. 

 

"But he understood it wrong. I never meant to harm you, Loki."

 

"What are you talking about?" 

 

"I... I investigated you while you were unconscious."

 

"You _what_?!" Loki asked and shifted away even further. 

 

"Loki you can give us needed information about Jötuns. You can be helpful but you just have to let us see what we can find out."

 

"Baldr, _no_." 

 

Baldr grabbed his hand and smiled, leaning closer even when Loki protested, his other hand moving to his stomach. 

 

"I said _no_!" Loki shouted and pushed him away by using some of his magic, throwing him to the end of the room. Baldr literally flew through the air, hitting the opposite wall harsh with his back and he let out a loud, pained groan.

 

He pushed himself up, obviously startled and offended. 

 

"You will regret doing this." he hissed and left the room while holding his side. 

 

****

 

Only five minutes later, the door burst open again and Loki looked up when he saw Thor entering the room.

 

"Loki." He rushed over to the bed. "What did he do? Loki, what did he do to you? I just met Baldr in the hallway, running off."

 

"I just wanted him to get away from me. I didn't want to hurt him." Loki insisted.

 

He looked down. "He climbed on the bed. I didn't want him to touch me so I pushed him away... a little too harsh." he explained and clenched his teeth. 

 

He would tell Odin. Loki was sure he would tell and then he would no longer be allowed to stay in Ásgarðr. On the other hand - did he want to stay in Ásgarðr? No one here liked him so why should he stay here in the first place? Thor seemed to be the only one who wanted him to be here.

 

"You didn't do anything wrong, Loki. He should not have been inside this room. He should not be anywhere near you. And he didn't look hurt, so you cannot have done any serious damage. Which is almost too bad," Thor muttered, starting to stroke Loki's cheek with his thumb once again. 

 

He was still surprised just how calming these hands were. Needing a moment to relax, he just listened to Thor until he could think of an answer. 

 

"Thor what if he tells Odin?" he then said and let out another deep breath. He did not really want to stay in Ásgarðr - he wanted to stay wherever Thor was. Even if he was the only one who'd be nice to him - he didn't really care. If staying in Ásgarðr would mean that he could stay with Thor, he'd have to live in Ásgarðr. And if Baldr would really go and tell Odin... then this option would no longer be a possible one. 

 

"I don't know, Loki..."

 

"I don't want to have to leave. I want to stay here with you." Loki added.

 

"You won't have to."

 

"Thor?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Baldr said he wanted to apologise for investigating me." he suddenly said. "Did it have something to do with your fight?" it was only a logical explanation though Loki still hoped it wasn't. "What did he do, Thor?"

 

Thor hesitated for a long time and looked down for a few seconds. "He... I am not entirely sure. He must have heard or read about Jötun anatomy and he... He wanted to find out if it's true."

 

Loki held his breath when Thor explained what Baldr did. Even if Thor did not exactly mentioned it, Loki had a guess what he meant. He bit down to his lower lip and let out a shaky breath. 

 

"Why are they doing this?" Loki asked. "Remember when I told you that I would only allow you to touch me? And then your brother touched me first. Fandral kissed me first and..." he made a pause and looked down. 

 

Just the thought of him made him feel sick. "And then Baldr dared to touch me where..." there was another pause and Loki managed to look into his eyes again. "...I only want you to touch me there." 

 

Loki admitted even if he was not sure if Thor would appreciate him being open about the way he liked the affection Thor gave him and the way he wanted to show Thor his affection. 

 

Apparently it left Thor speechless for quite a long moment because Thor kept quiet, just continuing to rub his thumb across his cheek soothingly. Then, after what felt like hours, he leant forward, and with one of his hands left on Loki's cheek, Thor pressed their lips together, lingering there for a moment in a soft kiss before slowly pulling back. 

 

"There," Thor said with a smile. "Now I am the one who gave you your first kiss on your lips. I hope you don't mind?"

 

Loki froze and parted his lips, unable to hold back a happy chuckle, putting his own hand on top of Thor's. His first kiss. And Thor had been the one who gave it to him. He couldn't even put it in words just how much that meant to him. 

 

"Not at all." he replied and bit down to his lower lip, nudging their noses together playfully. "Though it was a bit... simple."

 

Now it was Thor who chuckled and shook his head. "Too simple? Well... I guess we have to change that." he said quietly and leaned in again. This time the kiss lasted longer.

 

Loki let out a relieved sigh and leaned against him and he tried to do the same as Thor by gently moving his own lips against his. Thor parted his own lips, letting his tongue run over Loki's lip carefully and gently and Loki smiled into the kiss happily, only pulling back when he realised he needed to breathe.

 

"It feels amazing." Loki immediately said with another chuckle, placing third kiss to his lips for only a second.

 

"It makes me feel the same way like the way I felt back then when I told you how your touches make me feel just before I left."

 

"Yes... I remember... It feels amazing for me too. You have no idea how long I have wished for this to happen."

 

"So... this is how it feels when you fall in love?" he asked, letting his thumb run over the back of Thor's hand. "I'm glad you're here with me."

 

"Me too... I missed you."

 

Loki never thought about ending up in a situation like this. Usually, he would've been dead by now if the Æsir wouldn't have interrupted. But now he was alive - more than ever and he was grateful for this. That Thor showed him all this and more. 

 

He looked up when there was a knock on the door and two guards entered the large chamber. They both bowed and looked at their prince. 

 

"My lord." one of them started. "Your father demands your immediate presence." he explained and Loki's heart dropped for a moment. Now he was sure Baldr had said something to the council. He stopped breathing for a moment before he managed to move again, turning his head towards Thor. 

 

"Can I come with you? Please don't leave me here." again, it was an egoistic wish, but he didn't care right now.

 

"Of course. If they are deciding your fate, then you should be there." Cupping Loki's jaw with his fingers, he ignored the guards entirely and pressed another soft, quick kiss to his lips. Then he pulled back again and lifted Loki up in his arms.

 

****

 

"I cannot remember telling you to bring the Jötun with you." Odin said as soon as they entered the impressive hall. 

 

There was a large, long table in the middle and it was golden and bright, painted with ornaments and Loki almost gasped at the detailed floor, the pillars and large windows. If he would've had time, he would've been glad to relish the room - but now they had to take care of something else. 

 

"His name is Loki, and no, you did not tell me to bring him with me, but we both had a feeling this has something to do with him, and I thought he deserved to be here. He must be allowed to speak for himself." Thor replied firmly.

 

One of the men of the council shook his head. "It is understandable that the prince would want to bring his pet. I say we should allow him to stay." 

 

Immediately, Thor's eyes narrowed and Loki could feel his muscles tensing up. "Have care how you speak. Loki is still a prince of Jötunheimr and future king. He deserves your respect."

 

"If he'd be anything more than a pet, you wouldn't have to carry him." another one argued and leaned back in his chair.

 

Loki was disgusted and he didn't think the way Æsir thought and talked about them was this worse. And it was everything Laufey's fault but Loki was the one who got to bear with it. Didn't they see that he couldn't walk on his own because of the injuries? Nevertheless, he didn't want them to keep talking like this. 

 

"Let me down, Thor." Loki demanded quietly and looked at him. He could see that Thor did not want to let him down but Loki insisted. "Please." he added and carefully moved his legs from Thor's grip, putting his feet on the ground. 

 

"I've heard that you attacked Baldr, Laufeyson." Odin suddenly said and looked at him. Loki still held onto Thor, feeling his knees giving in to his own weight so he held onto him tighter, supporting himself by holding himself up as best as he could. 

 

"I did." Loki admitted. "But only because he touched me in a way I didn't want him to touch me. So I defended myself." 

 

Baldr, who was sitting to Odin's left, frowned and stood up. "I did not. I merely tried to explain how much knowledge we could get about Jötuns if you'd allow us to examine your anatomy!"

 

"What gives you the right to investigate his body?" Thor asked, his voice loud and full of anger. "How would you feel if the Jötuns wanted do that to you? You wouldn't like that, would you? You have no right to touch his body without his consent, and since he is clearly not giving it to you, I suggest you leave it alone."

 

"Baldr is right." one of the council members said. "We never allowed any Jötun to be here. And now we allow it to you and your brother. You should be grateful and cooperate more." 

 

Loki couldn't believe what this man just said. He basically demanded that he let them do this to him just because he was allowed to be here? If this was the case, he'd rather go back. 

 

"I already made it clear that Thor is the only one who is allowed to touch me or look at me like this. I won't change my mind. People like you are the reason why Ásgarðr and Jötunheimr are still at war. I know my father did cruel things and I am not proud of that. But I didn't know, he always told me that were the ones causing war and destruction."

 

Loki tried to explain and one of the men laughed. "That is one cheap excuse. Being oblivious about all of this does not support your point being that you indeed are more than a mindless monster." he said and Loki frowned.

 

No, he was not an idiot. He was more intelligent than any of them. Just because his father lied to him all his life didn't mean he was dumb. 

 

"I..." he started but was interrupted. 

 

"Indeed. Why did you believe your father so blindly?" a third member said.

 

"Any sane person would've started to ask questions at some point." the fourth man interrupted.

 

Loki didn't know how to reply. He didn't ask questions because he thought his father was being truthful. Did this really make him a dumb person? 

 

"Then why haven't you asked any questions?" Thor muttered, and all of them turned to look at him. "As far as I have understood it, Asgardians teach their children that Frost Giants are nothing but evil monsters out to get them." 

 

He paused, watching them quietly for a moment. "And you still believe this. None of you have asked any questions, none of you have thought that perhaps your parents were wrong, perhaps Frost Giants aren't evil monsters after all. If it is not sane to keep quiet and not ask any questions, then you are all fools. Do not point a finger at Loki, when you obviously trusted your parents words just as much as he did."

 

"This is different. After everything Laufey did it is our right to believe our parents. Asgardians never attacked any other realm. And even if Loki didn't do anything - he looks like a Frost Giant and this is why people will always judge him." one of them replied. 

 

Loki was beginning to think that this won't lead them anywhere. He looked around and took a deep breath. 

 

"So this is what this is all about? Because I am a Frost Giant? Would it be better to hide instead of trying to make the Æsir understand that not all Frost Giants want to go to war with the other realms? Laufey lead our kingdom but we never wanted to destroy other realms. My own father nearly killed me when he found out I didn't follow his plan. My mother and my brothers fought against him. Do you really think we would do this if we were all the same?" he argued. 

 

There was a long silence. No one talked and in the end it was Odin who broke the silence. 

 

"Give me one good reason why I should trust your words."

 

"Give me one good reason why you shouldn't." Thor snapped but by the look in Odin's eyes, it was clear that he should not have said that, and Thor turned his eyes down, waiting for Loki to come up with a better reason. 

 

Loki had to admit that he didn't have a good reason that would convince him. The arguments he'd brought forward... they were useless because neither of them believed any of this or said something against it. So he had to think of something different. But what? Loki was not so sure and he remained quiet for a long time before he could think of something to say. 

 

"I don't have a good reason that will suit your opinion." Loki finally said. 

 

It was better to be honest than to think of something and simply lie because this wouldn't lead them anywhere. 

 

"But there doesn't always have to be a reason. Trust has to start somewhere and if both sides refuse to start trusting at some point, it will never work out. I already trusted you when I first came here. Remember? You said you would not harm me and I will have to go to the healing chambers even if I didn't know any of you. And I did. So why don't you try and trust me now, Odin?" Loki then said. 

 

He was well aware of the fact that he should've called him Allfather. Or king. Your highness. Something like this - but he didn't. He wanted to meet him on one level. Odin looked at him for a moment and looked around. 

 

"Before I make my decision, I would like to hear if any of the council members has something to say about this matter."

 

"I have something to say, my king," said the man with a short beard whom had spoken up earlier as well. "I think it would be unwise to let the Frost Giant stay here simply because of your son's lustful feelings towards him. The crown prince of Ásgarðr should be finding himself a proper queen, and not allowing his own judgment to be clouded by a Jötun." 

 

Furrowing his brow, Thor took a small step closer. "Excuse me? What could you possibly know about my feelings?"

 

The man sneered and shook his head. "Please, my prince. You would not be the first one to get a bit curious about the Jötuns. Apparently there is something about their anatomy that people find intriguing. If you think it necessary to explore than do so quickly and then toss him out of here. Ásgarðr is no place for him."

 

Loki clenched his teeth. Baldr had told them. Something that was definitely not their business. This matter in particular was something private and intimate, not something everyone should know about. He looked at the man and tilted his head to the side a little.

 

"Curious you say?" Loki repeated, meeting the man's gaze. "I don't think my body is something that should be presented to everyone. And if you think so then I bet it is because of your own curiosity. If you say things like this I dare to say that you would be in the front row if I would offer to _explore_ my body. Maybe it is not because of Thor's lustful feelings for me but because of your own." he snapped.

 

Loki knew this was inappropriate but he did not care. He wouldn't just stand here and let him say things like that. 

 

The man stood up from his seat, and Thor immediately took a step forward, putting himself in front of Loki. 

 

"How dare you?" the man said. 

 

His face was flushed, and Loki was not sure if it was out of anger or because he had guessed correctly. Perhaps it was both. 

 

"How dare you speak to me in such a way? You Jötuns are only good for one thing - if any, but you are mistaken if you think I would come anywhere near you." 

 

Finally, the man turned to address Thor instead. "Mount the beast and be done with it, my lord. That insolent creature should not stay here a minute longer than necessary. If he belongs in Ásgarðr, it is only inside the whore houses."

 

At his last words, Loki bit down to his lower lip and took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Why did he say something like this? He hadn't done any harm, so why were they saying such things? Loki didn't understand and he didn't understand why they wouldn't listen. Loki only said things like this because he didn't want to stand there and let them insult him. But he would never think about attacking them. At least not until now. 

 

"Preferably in the whore house where you are well known I guess so you can mount me yourself?" 

 

Loki continued, not taking his eyes off of him. He only looked at Odin once. The Allfather briefly looked like he was going to interrupt but then... he looked like he was waiting for something. But what was it? Loki wasn't sure and he hoped he would find out so he would put an end to this. 

 

Thor was practically shaking with anger by now and Loki put a calming hand on his back.

 

"Calm yourself, my prince," one of the other men tried to tell him, but Thor only shook his head, still staring at the bearded man. "How dare you call him a whore? If I was allowed to, I would take the time to teach you some manners, because your parents must have forgotten that little detail. I am more well-mannered than you are, and do you want to know where I got that from? From the people that raised me, and guess what? They were Frost Giants. I was raised by Frost Giants, and they were obviously good enough to teach me right from wrong. You on the other hand... I am not sure why your parents never bothered to teach you how to speak to another person." 

 

The man looked even angrier, and he pointed a finger at him. "Who are you to teach me about manners? You are defending a Frost Giant to me. You look just about ready to strike me, and it is all because of that hideous creature behind you. Why are you so eager to defend him, my prince? Surely, it would be a lot easier to drag him to bed and-" 

 

"Because I love him!" 

 

If the room had been quiet a few seconds ago, it somehow seemed to be even quieter now and there was a long, uncomfortable silence.

 

Thor's words left Loki speechless. Thor what? 

 

"I love him. I love him, and I will not have you or anyone else speak to him this way. If you do, you will have to find yourself another king." 

 

"You are willing to put down the throne just to ensure you could be with Loki?" Odin suddenly asked and everyone was looking at their king. 

 

Thor nodded hesitantly.

 

Loki would give anything to know what was going on in his head right now but he guessed he would never know unless Odin was willing to tell him. But right now Odin seemed to be more interested in what all the others thought. He almost studied Thor before he continued to turn his gaze towards Loki. And he found himself struggling not to look away. It was difficult but he managed to do it even if he was afraid of what he was going to say. 

 

"If it is true what they said, would you be willing to bear my son's children when the time comes?" he asked and Loki's eyes widened. 

 

He never thought about this. He barely started thinking about this only a couple of weeks ago when he noticed just how much he missed Thor and in what way. He didn't even know anything about it except what he'd read in his books. They just shared their first kiss and Loki was sure that it would take long until they would talk about children. But he couldn't say that he didn't know what to say because they just started admitting their feelings for each other. 

 

"Yes. If Thor asks me to, I would." he answered and nodded. 

 

"I want to talk to the council alone. You two may leave." the Allfather then said and Loki just hoped it was a good sign. 

 

****

 

Thor brought Loki back to the healing chambers.

 

Juna was furious because Loki was exhausted and she gave Thor a light slap on the back of his head, telling both to be reasonable and let Loki rest. Loki just chuckle and Juna shook her head.

 

Loki was tired and Juna agreed to sing a song for him while she replaced the bandages.

 

****

 

Sif had not seen Thor since dinner because she had been out here since then. Yes she let her anger out on a mannequin and she didn't even care about the fact that it was raining outside. The sudden appearance of the thunder made it clear that it was because of Thor's mood and not something natural. She figured it would stop raining as soon as his mood would lighten up which was why she didn't bother leaving just now. Sif swirled around and landed another hit at the mannequin's side and it fell down with a loud thud. Remaining in her last position for a moment, she panted a bit from exhaustion before finally noticing that someone was observing her.

 

Looking to the side, she saw Thor and smiled, letting her weapon drop to her side. She was glad that he was here but on the other hand she was a little disappointed at the same time, considering what she - sort of - found out. But she would not show him because she knew it would be unfair to blame him for something he clearly could not control.

 

"It seems you are in a bad mood!" Sif called over the yard as she walked up to him.

 

Turning his eyes up to the sky, Thor nodded his head. "It is very easy to tell, isn't it?" 

 

With another sigh, Thor looked back at her again, watching her for a moment. He wanted to apologise, but he wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to hear it. After all, he would be apologising for kissing her, and that seemed like quite an insensitive thing to do. Then again, he would also be apologising for leading her on and making her think that the two of them could begin a new stage of their relationship, and that seemed like the right thing to do. She deserved an apology for that. He had never meant to play with her emotions, and the truth was that he truly did feel something for her, but his feelings for Sif were not as strong as his feelings for Loki. He should have remembered that, but since he had thought Loki was not coming back, and since he had known that his father wanted him to be with Sif... It had been a mistake. Granted, he could still see Sif as his future wife, but now that it seemed as though he could possibly be allowed to marry Loki, he did not think it was going to happen. 

 

Sif moved closer and stopped right in front of him when he started to talk. Yes it was pretty obvious that he was in a bad mood but Sif doubted that the only reason was that he felt like he needed to apologise. She put her weapon down and sat down on the nearest bench, waiting for Thor to join her. 

 

"I feel like I should apologise," he said quietly, giving her a small, somewhat sad smile. 

 

"Sounds reasonable for me." Sif then said and raised an eyebrow before she finally smiled at him. Yes she was disappointed but she was not actually mad. But an apology did not sound bad anyway. She still had feelings for him but it seemed as if she was the only one despite the kiss they shared earlier.

 

Sitting down next to Sif, Thor watched her for a moment before taking her hands in his. 

 

"I'm sorry," he said, turning his gaze from their hands to her eyes. "Our kiss meant a lot to me. _You_ mean a lot to me, and you always will." 

 

He could practically feel the _but_ hanging in the air, and he hated it because he didn't want to have to do this to her. She deserved so much better. She was, without a doubt, the most incredible woman he had ever met, and she deserved to find happiness, and she deserved to find someone that could give her their undivided attention. At the moment, that was not him. 

 

"I want you to know that I wasn't stringing you along on purpose. I really do care about you, but... I am afraid I have realised that I cannot give you my whole heart, which is what you deserve. You deserve to find someone much better than me, Sif." 

 

Sif listened patiently and let out a breath as soon as he was ready. 

 

"Thor I really appreciate your apology and I accept it. But please do not say I deserve someone better than you." Sif replied softly and smiled. "Don't diminish yourself. You may wield Mjölnir but even you make... well... I do not want to call it a _mistake_. But you haven't been sure about your feelings. It happens to everyone." she assured him and raised one of her hands to put it against his cheek, letting her thumb caress his skin for a moment. 

 

"You are too kind, Sif," he said, reaching up and putting his own hand over hers. He realised it was still raining, and by now they were both quite wet, so he took a few seconds to concentrate enough to make it stop, giving her a soft smile when it had. 

 

"At least I made it stop raining."

 

She nodded and sighed. 

 

"Look I want you to be happy. I would have approved your happiness more if I would've been part of it of course." Sif teased and looked up when it stopped raining. 

 

Then she locked their eyes together again and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth very carefully. 

 

"But for real... I hope you will be happy and get what you want." she then said and pulled back again. 

 

She was not sure what would happen but she really hoped Thor wouldn't regret anything. He had seen Odin rushing through the hallways with Frigga earlier and he looked quite stressed. But she didn't ask why because she knew it was actually not something she should interfere with political matters.

 

Thor was glad she was taking it so well. And, to be honest, he hadn't really expected anything differently. 

 

She was a tough woman. It was not in her nature to spend days and days crying about something she would not be able to change. No, this was the Sif he had come to known and care for, and he was happy about that because he would have felt horrible if she would have cried. Then again, he still felt horrible about it, because he was sure she was still upset about it, even if she did not show it. He was upset about it too, but the difference was of course that he was turning from her straight to Loki, and would not have a lot of time to grieve a relationship that could have been. 

 

"I wish you the very same, Sif. Your happiness means a lot to me, I hope you know that." 

 

"I know." Sif answered with a light smile. 

 

Yes she would've gladly accepted it if Thor would've decided to be at her side. But she couldn't and wouldn't force him. And she would definitely not do something against his happiness. 

 

"Besides..." she then continued and let go of him, standing up. "Who wants a king who gets beaten up in combat by his wife?" Sif teased with a grin on his lips, tilting his head to the side while she bent down to grab her sword, looking at Thor rather challenging.

 

Thor raised his eyebrows at her. "That never happened," he teased her, standing up too and moving over to grab one of the swords used for training. "Go ahead, then." He smiled back at her. "Let's see you beat me." 

 

****

 

Of course Thor had won. On his way back to his chambers, he still thought about the fight. Sparring with Sif was wonderful and he was utterly grateful that their relationship hadn't changed. They could still act naturally in each other's presence and Thor was utterly happy about this. 

 

"Are you so caught in your thoughts that you walk past your own mother?" 

 

Thor looked up, surprised to see Frigga standing in front of him and he stopped.

 

"Mother? What are you... are you going to the training grounds?"

 

"Of course not. I was looking for you and I happened to walk past this hallway. There was a thunderstorm outside and I was worried that you might be... troubled."

 

"I apologise about that. I don't want Ásgarðr to suffer because of my bad mood." 

 

And he disliked the entire city knowing about his bad mood. It seemed unfair not to be able to be angry or upset without everyone else knowing about it. 

 

"I spoke to the council today. Loki spoke to them to. They have... made their opinion of him very clear."

 

"They could use a little bit of rain. It won't hurt them." Frigga said with a chuckle and gently hooked their arms together, guiding him over to one of the benches. They both sat down and Frigga let out a subtle breath when she heard what this was all about.

 

"The members of the council are stubborn and very close-minded. Your father can be as well because of the bad experiences he had to live through with Laufey." she explained and smiled at him, trying to cheer him up a little. 

 

"But you must not forget that he trusts you. You may only live here for a little over a year but he truly loves you Thor. We both do. You are our son and Ásgarðr's heir. We trust in your decisions even if it may not seem like it sometimes. Do not give way to despair just now." she continued and cupped his cheeks, letting her thumb caress the skin. "A smile suits you better. I am sure your father will make the right decision. He can see it too, you know. The way you look at him."

 

Thor listened closely to his mother's words, nodding his head and looking into her eyes as she told him about his father and their love for him.

 

"I told them that I love him," he said quietly, turning his eyes down. After a few seconds, he let out a sad chuckle, shaking his head as much as he could with her hands on his cheeks. 

 

"I hadn't even told him yet, but I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't let them think that I am only helping Loki because I wish to bed him." 

 

Perhaps he shouldn't be telling his mother that, but... It had to be a good thing that he didn't only wish to bed Loki, right? Besides, he was only telling her the truth, just as he had told the council the truth. If only they would believe him, and accept that Loki was not a monster nor a bad person. 

 

"What if they send him away?" he asked quietly, still not meeting her eyes. "What if they decide I should not be with him? And even if Father does manage to convince them... I never realised how much they all hate Jötuns. After hearing their opinions today... How could I rule with people like this? I don't agree with any of them, and I hate hearing them say such cruel things about Loki."

 

"If you truly want Loki by your side, people will start to look at the Frost Giants with different thoughts sooner or later. I can still remember you two saying that you want to change their opinion. That you wanted to show them that Frost Giants were different from what they all think of them. You can try this. Loki is wonderful and I'm sure the others will notice. And if our people listen, I am sure the council will too." she said, trying to cheer him up. "And besides... if you do not like the members of the council.... no one will stop you from choosing different people once you are king." she added with a wink.

 

With a quiet sigh, he looked back into his mother's eyes. "Even if they do accept Loki, do you think they would accept someone with Jötun heritage on the throne of Ásgarðr? What happens if the future heir, the grandchild of Odin looks like a Frost Giant?"

 

"If you ask me to be honest then unfortunately I have to tell you that I don't know. I can't tell you that, Thor. But if they accept Loki over time and learn to love or at least like him... I do not see a reason why they wouldn't accept him on the throne next to you."

 

"Would _you_ be alright with it?"

 

"Of course I would. Don't rush anything. It will take time, but they will come to accept it as well. And at the very least everyone has to agree on the fact that this child will be the proof that Ásgarðr and Jötunheimr are no longer at war."

 

"I wish I could let my relationship with Loki develop at whatever pace we choose, and that when the time comes, I could ask him to marry me without having to think about what anyone else would have to say about it."

 

"Then do this." Frigga suggested with a light shrug of her shoulders. "You may be the crown prince but that does not mean that you cannot choose how fast your relationship develops. It is still your life. And if I see that correctly... you didn't even tell him that you love him. You think about marriage and children and you two are not even together yet. Just because the council said those things. Don't let them cloud your mind."

 

Thor listened carefully to his mother's words. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps there was a way for him to develop his relationship with Loki at his own pace after all. If he allowed the council to affect them, and if they began to think too much about children and marriage and the future, it would never work. They needed time to get to know each other better, and to explore their own relationship without worrying about what would happen in a few years or months or even weeks. Nodding his head, he gave Frigga a smile. 

 

"You're right. I cannot let them get to me. I would like to marry Loki one day, and I would like to have children with him, if he'd have me, but I do not want that right now. There are so many things we have left to do first, we have only just begun to realise there is a chance we could be together. I do not want any of that to be ruined."

 

Frigga nodded and pressed a kiss to his forehead, standing up from the bench.

 

"Why don't you come and accompany me for a while longer? I was about to go into the gardens and drink something. My handmaidens say they want to show me a new sort of tea." she then said with a smile on her lips.

 

"That sounds lovely."

 

****

 

By the end of the day, Thor had found out Odin had told the council members to back off. No one was allowed to say something about Loki. Or to Thor and his decision to have him at his side. They had disrespected their prince, their king - and Loki, his son's future spouse.

 

And should anyone dare to speak up again - whoever it was - would be thrown out of the palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments, they're much appreciated and show that it's worth to keep writing ♥ !
> 
> Also - Thor and Loki will be cutie patooties in the next Chapter. Lots of cuddling and innocent kisses.  
> Odin will act nice for once as well.
> 
> Also, Laufey will appear and we'll find out what happened in Jötunheimr c: !


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually Laufey doesn't really show up like I said, but he will in the next Chapter c: !

Loki was fully healed again after another week. Thor had visited him each day and even Thor's friends had come to see how he was. And by now, he thought they were alright. Even though all four of Thor's friends seemed to be reluctant in his presence. But still. At least they weren't insulting him. They were polite and for now, that was more than Loki had ever hoped for from an Asgardian. 

 

What was more surprising was that Byleistr had found friends while spending time at the training grounds. He'd spent a lot of time with Heimdallr and Byleistr always had a fond smile on his lips when he talked about the gatekeeper. Some of the warriors of Ásgarðr had trained with Byleistr and each time his brother came to visit Loki in the healing chamber, he was glad to hear that they were all nice to him and they showed each other different tricks and techniques, different combat styles. 

 

Loki thought this was wonderful.

 

****

 

"Princesses or princes... Does it matter?" Thor straightened back up again, still holding Loki's hand in his own. "This is what you do when you like someone."

 

Loki was still not entirely convinced. He only knew about people kissing the back of the hand of _princesses_ and not princes. But apparently he had been wrong.

 

So this was what you did when you liked someone in general? But since Loki had never seen Thor do this to anyone else... liking was possibly not exactly what he meant? Or maybe it was but not in this kind of way. He'd seen him kissing Sif's hand before but it had been different. He took a step closer and then placed a kiss to Thor's hand as well, letting his lips linger on his knuckles for a while, eyes closed. He moved back a little and pressed his lips down again, this time to the back of his hand. And again, to his wrist very slowly.

 

It was a complete different sensation. Feeling Thor's lips on his skin had been exciting and amazing. They had shared only innocent kisses up to now. Short, long, lingering and loving ones. But never passionate or deep ones. 

 

It was a completely new feeling and Loki was sure he'd only seen the top of it and he definitely wanted to feel more of it. To completely explore the range of those feelings and see how far it could go and how his body would react if he'd simply let himself go. But to kiss Thor for himself was different. He was still excited but in a different way. He even felt a little insecure, a weak thought remaining in the back of his head. It was some sort of fear to be rejected or to do something Thor did not like. But he kissed him anyway, enjoying it actually. The simple thought that Thor might like what he did and that he could show him that he liked him this way was incredible. After placing a few more kisses on his hand, he looked up. 

 

"Like this?" Loki asked quietly and tilted his head to the side while he leaned into him, pressing his lips to Thor's stubby jaw firmly.

 

Thor tilted his head to the side and his mouth dropped open a little. "You are learning quickly..." he said absently and then pulled away, only to capture Loki's lips into a proper kiss, keeping the pressure firm this time as he put his hands on Loki's waist to hold him close to his own body.

 

He looked at Thor for a moment before he closed his own eyes as well, relaxing in his grip. His hands felt amazing on his hips and the way their bodies were pressed against each other. This was the closest he had ever been to a person and he had a few troubles grasping the situation fully, sorting and naming the feelings that rushed through his body at the sudden sensation. Everything was tingling and he felt lightheaded, almost a little dizzy. 

 

Loki returned the pressure on his lips, daring to do what Thor did when they shared the first kiss a week ago, letting his tongue slide over Thor's bottom lip carefully. It was strangely pleasing to do this and Loki felt his limbs were getting numb while his heart was beating way too fast right now. He only stopped when his body almost moved on his own all of a sudden. 

 

Loki barely realised it when he suddenly moved his hips forward a bit so that they were grinding together once. Loki almost immediately took a step back to bring distance between them, taking a deep breath as he struggled to find words for him to explain. 

 

"Sorry... My body moved on its own, I wasn't..." he started and pulled down his tunic a bit more where his legs were. He swallowed. Of course he couldn't say for sure but Loki believed that he just felt what could be considered _lust_ for the first time.

 

"It's all right," Thor said, clearing his throat. "It's fine... It felt great, Loki. You don't need to apologise."

 

Loki took a deep breath and nodded at his words. Though he really did not intend to do this. Up to now he'd had his body under control all the time. He knew how to act, how to move and what to do in all situations and especially after his months of training he'd learned to even control his reflexes to a certain extend. Of course he couldn't control everything about himself but this was something different. He just _gave in_ even if he didn't intend to give in to this movement. 

 

"I never felt lust before." he admitted and licked his lips a little nervously. 

 

But Thor woke up everything his father forbid in his life and Loki was amazed by how much he could actually feel. 

 

"Did you?" he continued after a moment of silence. He was not entirely sure if this was an appropriate question or not but he wanted to know which was why he just asked. Not that either answer would bother him in any way but he just _wanted_ to know this even if this would not change their situation. Loki still held his tunic and continued to look at Thor, hoping that it was truly alright. After all both of them agreed to take it slow and not rush anything - which he probably just did in a way.

 

"Yes. I have lusted after you for a very long time. Even before I became your personal guard, actually. You have no idea how you've made me feel." Thor said with a chuckle and took a step closer to him as well. 

 

"Do you remember the last time you were here, when you... jumped me? The reason I reacted the way I did was because of my lust, my desire for you. Having your legs and arms wrapped around me felt incredible, and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by letting you know how I felt about you. Of course, I ended up making you uncomfortable anyway, but I was happy that at least I hadn't scared you off."

 

Now Loki came to understand why Thor told him it was somewhat inappropriate back then. Loki just felt how it was like to actually feel Thor against himself so he could imagine what it had to be like if he'd fell him wrapped around him. He showed him a light smile at his confession, looking down for a moment. 

 

"I remember." Loki replied, thinking about a proper answer. It was more difficult that he'd thought to talk about something like this - even if it wasn't something bad. Not at all. 

 

"How can you experience lust for someone if that someone doesn't even touch you? Or the other way round." he asked and looked up again. 

 

Having Thor so close to him felt amazing and Loki could clearly feel the urge to just take a step closer again and press his body against Thor's once again. And it freaked him out to have such desires, barely able to just hold them back. But apparently Thor was able to do this as well so he figured he'd learn to control it after getting used to it.

 

"Well, it's a longing, I suppose. It's a desire. You want that person to touch you, and you think about that person touching you. And of course you also think about you touching that person. Have you never had these thoughts? Ever?"

 

Loki shook his head. "No. Not really." he admitted almost immediately, biting down to his lower lip. "But I... started to think about this during our last days in Jötunheimr. And then when I got my memories back of course. I thought about touching myself while thinking about you... But I didn't dare to, so I didn't do it."

 

"Why didn't you dare to?"

 

"Father forbid it. He said physical desires are not made for me and that it will taint me. Remember?" Loki answered. Of course he had been touched at that point already. But being touched and being _touched_... they were complete different things. 

 

"And I also did not want to use you for something without your consent. I would have asked you but... you were not there so I couldn't."

 

"Well, if you would ever feel the need to touch yourself while thinking of me... You have my consent. I would be more than happy to know I was bringing you some pleasure." 

 

Loki wanted to answer, but they were interrupted by a guard who told them Odin was waiting for them in the throne room.

 

****

 

Loki was actually quite calm until they entered the large room and walked towards the huge throne where Odin was sitting. Loki clenched his teeth and held onto Thor a little tighter when he saw who was standing there. Baldr was there, as well as all those council members who said something against Loki - and the one who'd called him a whore was standing right in the middle of them. Loki just hoped this was not a bad sign... Seven council members were standing there now and Loki wondered what they were doing here after one week of complete silence. And for once, Loki did as he was told and bowed in front of Odin to show him some respect. When he saw this, Odin nodded into their direction and took a deep breath. 

 

"Before I announce my decision about you, Loki, I believe Gunar and the others would like to say something." Odin said and the council members took a step closer to them and knelt down. 

 

Loki frowned and looked at Thor for a moment who gave him a nod and too his hand to show him his support. Gunar was obviously the one who called him a whore because he was looking up to them now and spoke up. 

 

"Loki, the other council members and especially I are sorry for what we said about you. We would like to apologise humbly to you and hope that you will accept our apology." Gunar said loudly so everyone could hear it. 

 

Loki couldn't believe what they just said and let his eyes wander across their faces. It was actually obvious that they only apologised to him because Odin had ordered them to. 

 

"No." Loki suddenly said after a long moment of silence. "I won't accept our apology."

 

When Loki told them he didn't accept their apology, Gunar looked up - obviously enraged. 

 

"...What?!" he almost called. "Listen here you-" he already started but was interrupted by Odin. 

 

" _Enough_!!" Odin called loud enough so his voice echoed through the large room for a few heartbeats and the others looked around in shock. 

 

Odin kept his eyes on Loki and he couldn't help but think that he was considering something. But what? Was it because of his answer? He just hoped it was not something bad and that he'd had the right to not accept it. Or should he? Maybe it had been an act of disrespect? 

 

"Every member of this council who is in this room is no longer welcome. Not in the council and not in the palace. You may go, _now_." Odin ordered firmly, standing up from his throne and Loki's eyes widened when he heard that. 

 

He was sending _them_ away? 

 

The now former council members stood up and looked like they wanted to protest but in the end - every single one of them left without saying anything else. Gunar looked at Loki for a few seconds and leaned in a bit. 

 

"You're going to regret that." he said with a tone in his voice that made Loki shiver with fear. 

 

But he tried to remain calm. Nothing would happen to him - he was in the palace and he was safe. Everything was alright... 

 

As soon as the footsteps of the men were gone, Odin turned to look at Thor again. 

 

"Thor. My son. I am the king of Ásgarðr and I have to think of what is best for Ásgarðr. But I am also your father and I want you to be happy. I know that you won't be happy if Loki is harmed or not with you." he started. "So you may have him if you both agree on that. He may live here and you may make him yours. But I cannot force my people to accept him. This is something you have to do on your own."

 

"My heart has belonged to him for quite some time. He is more than welcomed to keep it, should he want to." Thor answered and looked at Loki.

 

"Yes, I want to." Loki said happily and not caring that Odin was right there, Thor started smiling widely and he let out a chuckle, cupping Loki's face as he pressed a firm kiss to his lips that made Loki giggle as well when they pulled back.

 

"If you decide to do this, Loki, do not forget that you will have to serve Ásgarðr. Do not forget your duties as Thor's spouse." Odin added.

 

Loki nodded again, even if he only did that out of pure reflex. Serving Ásgarðr and not forgetting his duties as his spouse. This was something completely new and Loki just hoped it would not rip any of his freedom from him. And more important - that it would not stop him from going back to Jötunheimr. After all Jötunheimr was and would always be his home, even if he enjoyed Ásgarðr and he wanted to stay at Thor's side all the time. 

 

"But I am not his spouse." Loki then replied. At least not yet. "I'm his paramour. And he is mine. I don't want anyone else near me." he said, mostly to Baldr who just... stood there for some reason and Loki wondered what he was even doing here. 

 

"No one else will come near you. I will try my best, to keep you safe. From everyone and everything." Thor added, wrapping his arms around Loki.

 

"You may go now." Odin said and then looked at his first born. "I will have to discuss some things with your brother... As for the council members. I believe we can decide the new members together, Thor. Take all the time you need and tell me if you think you found one who is wise enough to sit at this table." he announced and Loki couldn't help but smile. He figured it was more than just a huge sign of confidence that Odin allowed him that. 

 

****

 

Loki knew it would take a while until he would feel home in Ásgarðr, but this was just the beginning. Thor was here and where he was Loki was sure he would feel home. Or at least comfortable. It was too early to feel home especially if no one accepted him except a hand full of people. 

 

"I never thought we would end up here. But we're here now and I won't leave you again." Loki replied and looked at Thor's hand when he reached up to caress his cheek. Loki then closed his eyes and leaned into his touch a little. "It feels so nice." Loki whispered and let out a subtle breath. 

 

"I won't leave you either." Thor whispered.

 

"I know." Loki said and let out another sigh. 

 

He still had his eyes closed and tilted his head a little to place a soft kiss to the heel of his hand. He wanted to have him close and it was a new desire he wanted to explore and to relish. But they had time. They did not need to rush it and Loki didn't want to rush it anyway. But just being here with him and the thought of Thor holding him in his arms was already utterly exciting. This was something he wanted to have. Embracing Thor was something he knew already but it was something entirely different when they were lying so he figured he could try and asked. 

 

"Can you embrace me? I read it feels different when you're lying down together." he asked. "Just... just embracing, nothing more."

 

Thor nodded his head. "Just embracing," he agreed. "I would never want to do something you're not comfortable with." 

 

"I start asking you about touching me. And I hope you know that you can ask for such things as well." Loki said quietly but with a firm voice. 

 

"Yes, I know." letting go of Loki's hand and moving his own fingertips away from Loki's cheek, Thor slowly wrapped his arms around him, bringing Loki a bit closer to his own body. 

 

Yes now he was sure that he was falling in love with him. Or rather that he already loved him. Love was such a strong word but he felt this described his feelings for him quite well. When Thor finally embraced him, their bodies touched and he held his breath for a moment. It was right... it did feel different. It was more intense and more intimate like this, when they were lying in bed together. Loki could feel him so close to him and he didn't want it to end. He raised his hands and reached around him to pull himself even closer to him, his forehead leaning against Thor's so he could feel his breath on his lips.

 

Just lying like this was so much more than he had ever expected to get. If everything his father told him would have been true... he would be dead by now. And now he was here, lying in Thor's arms and feeling things he thought he would never feel. He was almost addicted to this feeling and wanted to taste everything. Pulling back he looked into his bright blue eyes again. 

 

"Can you kiss me properly?" Loki then asked. "I know we want to take it slow and... I figured kissing would be alright for the beginning. And I'm curious."

 

Thor watched Loki for a long time. He looked like he clearly hadn't expected him to ask for a proper kiss so soon. After all, they had only just recently shared their first kiss. But then, Thor smiled and nodded at him. 

 

"If you want me to stop, then simply give me a sign, and we will stop." 

 

Loki nodded and closed his eyes. Tilting his head to the side, Thor slowly brought their lips together, beginning with just pressing their lips together. After a moment, he swiped his tongue against Loki's bottom lip, just as he had done before once, and then gently pried Loki's lips apart with his tongue, before meeting Loki's tongue with his own, letting out a muffled groan when they made contact. 

 

As soon as he felt Thor parting his lips he felt himself getting tense at the sensation. It was almost as if small electric shocks were sent through his body and he felt shivers running down his spine. His grip on Thor's shirt tightened immensely and he took a deep breath through his nose. This was more arousing than he thought it would be. But he did not pull back and instead started moving his tongue against Thor's very gently, opening his mouth for him a bit more.

 

Their kiss was slow, passionate and loving. Loki loved every bit about it.

 

His body was warm again and his heart was beating fast by now. He could feel his body reacting to the kiss already. Loki was curious whether Thor reacted as strong as he did though... they continued kissing for a while and Loki became more brave with each second and responded to the kiss eagerly, fingers digging into and pulling at the fabric. He let out a pleased moan into the kiss and then pulled back when he realised he needed to breathe again even if he was almost a little disappointed that it was already over. When he opened his eyes again Loki licked his lips, trying to stop his head from spinning. 

 

"That was... I didn't... it's more pleasing than I thought." Loki said and brought their lips together again. Only once more. Once more wouldn't hurt.

 

And Thor eagerly responded to the kiss. Loki could feel his tongue in his mouth almost immediately and he felt himself really enjoying the taste and the texture of everything that was Thor. Loki let out another muffled groan, surprised by his own body and that he couldn't even control it. He couldn't control his actions and neither the sounds he made. He still held onto him and by now there was no space in between them, he could feel his chest pressing against his own whenever Thor breathed in and their legs were entangled, their loins pressed against each other and he could feel Thor's arm muscles flexing. The kiss was passionate and Loki noticed the way Thor put more effort into it now. Loki pushed his tongue against Thor's and reached up to entangle his fingers into the blond hair until he could feel his blood flowing down and between his legs and his body was heating up, his cheeks blushing. So he pulled back again but remained close to him anyway. 

 

"Is it common to get _that_ aroused by a kiss..?" Loki mumbled, legs still somehow hooked with Thor's. Well.. this was probably a good point to stop kissing, otherwise he would probably freak out because of his own reactions.

 

Thor breathed hard and heavy and Loki could see that his cheeks were flushed red a little. "It... depends I suppose. It depends on how much you like the other person and how many times you've done it before."

 

Loki chuckled a little. He never thought that he would get to enjoy this so, so much and that he would share this experience with Thor and that they were both feeling the same things. He leaned in and kissed him one last time, just pressing their lips together for a couple of seconds before he finally started to calm himself down again. 

 

"Is it true what you said to the council?" Loki finally asked. Though he knew it was true but telling it others or telling it to him... Loki wanted to hear it for himself. He wanted Thor to tell him and not the council. "That you love me? How could you tell?"

 

"Yes, it's true," he said, smiling at Loki. "I do love you. I just know it," he continued, tilting his head to the side. "I look at you, and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to hold you in my arms, and kiss you, and make love to you, and never let you go."

 

Loki let out a shaky breath at his words and leaned closer so their noses were touching. Thor loved him. He loved him and he would never let him go and Loki felt his heart beating fast when he heard that. 

 

"Is this love? I feel home with you. I don't want anyone to touch me except you. I want you close..." he said quietly and slowly, hands still in his hair. "Thor..." Loki whispered and moved, nuzzling into his neck, arms wrapping around his ribcage. He was literally overwhelmed because of his own feelings and felt like he could neither contain them nor let them out properly. 

 

"I don't know," Thor said. "But it does sound a lot like how I feel about you." putting his hand against the back of Loki's head, he slowly ran his fingers through his hair, more than happy to just have Loki's body pressed against him. 

 

Loki hummed absently and enjoyed the feeling of Thor's hands in his hair. It tingled lightly and Loki was sure that he would fall asleep if he would remain like this for long enough... and he would love falling asleep like that. He then smiled and began to draw small circles on his back with his fingertips. 

 

"We can be grateful. It is something amazing to love someone... and find out they love you back. I feel privileged to have something like this." Loki explained, holding onto him tightly. "I love you Thor. I love you." he finally said and oh - it was relieving. It felt great to say something like this and Loki could swear that saying it out loud only deepened his feelings. And the moment he said that, he could feel Thor's grip on him tightening just the slightest bit and there was a goofy smile spreading on Thor's lips.

 

"And I am glad that you feel the same." and more important... that his behaviour back in the palace had not scared him off.

 

"Yes." Thor replied happily. "Yes I do feel the same. I love you too, Loki." he added and leaned forward to press another soft kiss to Loki's lips.

 

****

 

"One moment." Thor said and stood up from the bed when there was a knock on the door.

 

They had been lying like this for what felt like hours and Loki felt warm inside. His head was dizzy and he'd gotten sleepy in Thor's arms. He wished they could've stayed like this for longer, but of course Thor couldn't just leave whoever this was outside and waiting. 

 

"Halldís." Thor pointed out with a smile and stepped to the side. A woman entered the room and her dark blond hair was pulled up and held together by a big pin. Her eyes were hazel and there was a polite smile on her face that grew bigger when she looked at Loki. 

 

"Forgive me, my prince... Am I interrupting something?" she gave Thor a look and he chuckled, shaking his head. 

 

"Um..." clearing his throat, Thor looked over at Loki. "Halldís, this is Loki. He would like some clothes."

 

Loki pushed himself up into a sitting position and frowned a little when she entered. It was obvious that she was confident and Loki wondered if all Asgardian women were like this. There was Sif. Then Juna and now the seamstress.

 

"I assumed as much. I wasn't sure what a Jötun would want to wear, so I brought some different fabrics with me. There are some of the finest Ásgarðr has to offer." she said and looked at Loki for a few moments. Halldís seemed to grow impatient and Loki wondered why that was. 

 

"Get over here. I need to measure you." she finally said and Loki frowned, throwing Thor a quick glance when he noticed her impatient tone. Back in Jötunheimr he'd never had to be... measured. But he stood up anyway after Thor gave him a short nod.

 

"Why do you need to measure me?"

 

"Because if I am to make you clothes, I'll need your measurements," Halldís answered Loki. "Unless you want me to simply start draping the fabrics around you? I could do that too, if you'd prefer it. What exactly am I expected to make?" she threw a glance over at Thor, who shrugged his shoulders with a smile. 

 

"Make whatever he wants." Halldís nodded her head, and looked over at Loki again. "What did you wear back in Jötunheimr? Perhaps if I knew, I would be able to make you something similar. But better, of course." 

 

Thor laughed at her confidence, shaking his head at the two of them. 

 

Loki was a little startled at the way she was talking to him but because Thor was not saying anything he didn't either. "Harem trousers. Or skirts." Loki answered and watched her sorting the fabrics a little bit. 

 

"Do you know the way they dress in the oriental region on Midgard? Something like this. But not all the time. Most Jötuns just wear a loin cloth." Loki explained and licked his lips. It seemed to be alright that she talked this way. Again he was surprised that Thor did not seem to mind but then again maybe they were even friends? He was not sure but he would probably find out soon enough.

 

"I think layering would work for you, but it has to be materials that breathe, since I do not want you to be too hot." Halldís looked down at her fabric choices. "What colours do you prefer?"

 

"Yes, that is something I'd like to have. Ásgarðr is almost a little too warm for me so... the clothes shouldn't be too thick." Loki said with a nod. 

 

Ásgarðr was beautiful but he was still a Frost Giant and he preferred the cold lands. At the next question he looked up and tilted his head a little to the side. He never really thought about it to be honest. He let out a hum and looked at the different fabrics, turning his head to Halldís again. 

 

"I like red." he then said, remembering the red tunic Thor gave him when he came here. "But I prefer green and gold." 

 

Halldís nodded in approval and Thor smiled. "I think you'll look beautiful in any colour." he complimented and Loki let out a chuckle, feeling a bit awkward because he still didn't know how to respond to a compliment. Though he didn't have much time to figure this out because he was brought back when Halldís suddenly started to let her hands roam over him. It was weird and Loki tensed up just a little bit more with each second she touched him even if he knew that nothing would happen. But it was still weird to have her measuring him by just using her hands to get an idea of his body - or the exact measurements she needed. Pressing his lips together, Loki held his breath for a few moments, keeping his eyes fixed on the seamstress. 

 

"I hope you're being gentle with him. He's not used to being touched." Thor said calmly. 

 

"Well, then he is in good hands," she told him, taking a step back to grab one of the green fabrics and holding it close to Loki's body to see what he would look like with that colour. "I hope you don't think I know nothing about him, my lord. There is a lot of gossip in this palace."

 

"What kind of gossip?" Loki asked.

 

Halldís raised an eyebrow at Loki's question. "I'm not sure if it's for me to say..." It sounded like she was hesitating, possibly not wanting to be polite. 

 

"Go ahead," Thor said, waving a hand in her direction. "You might as well tell us." 

 

She glanced over at him, and sighed, before turning back to Loki. " I don't know what's true and what isn't, and I suspect a lot of it is nothing but idiotic stories." Halldís put the fabric back on the table, and thought about it for a moment. "Of course I've heard about you never being touched before you got here. I've heard that the prince of Ásgarðr is smitten..." 

 

She turned around and smiled over at Thor. "And from what I can see, that seems to be true. I've also heard that several members of the council have been forced to step down because of you, and they are not very happy about it. Unfortunately, I've heard from some people that you can be... a bit arrogant. Apparently you think you are better than the people of Ásgarðr."

 

Loki frowned. "I never said that! I only think I'm better than those who judge me without getting to know me first. If they hate me just because I'm a Frost Giant then... yes. I _am_ better than them. But apart from that, I never said this." 

 

Halldís nodded and continued without replying to that. "The other day, I heard someone say that you are trying to seduce the crown prince for your own purposes. There does seem to be quite a few people who think you have Thor wrapped around your finger." 

 

"...Wrapped around my finger?" Loki repeated and looked at Thor again. "What does that mean?"

 

"If you have me wrapped around your finger, it means you can basically make me do whatever you want." Thor said quietly.

 

"I can?" he asked. The rumors had to start somewhere and Loki was genuinely curious who said this. Not that he wanted to make Thor do whatever he pleased or... well. 

 

Back then when he was his personal guard he actually did exactly that. But this was different. It was different now and Thor was not his personal guard any longer. Loki did not need to have him do whatever he wanted of him. He wanted Thor to do whatever he liked and that he only did what Loki asked of him if he agreed with that. He let out a frustrated sigh and looked down for a moment. 

 

"Why do they keep saying things like that?"

 

"Loki..." Thor stood up and walked over to them, cupping Loki's chin to make him look at him. "Do not let them get to you. They don't know what they are talking about. They're simply scared of what is different, and the only way to make you less intimidating is to come up with stupid things to say about you. You cannot listen to them, Loki. Just continue to be the good person that you are, and sooner or later they will have to realise that those rumours have no truth to them."

 

Loki pressed his lips together until they were nothing but a thin line when Thor made him look up to him. If he was honest, there was a part of him that simply didn't want to continue being the 'good person he was'. If no one was nice to him, why should he be nice? That made no sense and Loki couldn't quite understand why Thor seemed to expect him to just go on. How could he ignore all this if it was right in front of him? 

 

"But there is truth in it. I just admitted it. I do think they are better. And you had to do everything I wanted back in Jötunheimr." he replied, not moving away from him. He let out a subtle sigh and closed his eyes for a couple of seconds to calm himself. "Let's not talk about this now, okay?"

 

Thor hesitated and nodded his head in the end. "Fine." then, he pressed a kiss to Loki's lips, giving him a smile. "But we _will_ talk about this."

 

"Well I don't want to." he replied, tilting his head to the side.

 

"For what it's worth, my lord," Halldís said while grabbing another piece of fabric and trying it out on Loki. "I believe prince Thor is right. They don't know how to handle you, so they make up all of these silly rumours. I never believed half of them, anyway."

 

Loki crossed his arms in front of his chest when Halldís came closer again with another fabric in her hands. It had been way easier in Jötunheimr. Everyone respected - or feared - him back there and he never had to think about stuff like making people like him. He stayed like this for a moment only to realise that he was probably behaving like a petulant child. Taking another deep breath he tried to relax himself again and let his arms sink down again. It was not Thor's fault so he shouldn't talk to him like that. 

 

"Only half of them." Loki pointed out at Halldís' words and looked at another fabric next to him. "I like this one." he said and walked over to it, taking it in his hands. It was soft and light in a dark green shade with some golden stitchery on it.

 

"That is an excellent choice, my lord," Halldís agreed, nodding her head and taking a step closer to Loki. She turned to look at Thor. "My prince, why don't you step outside for a moment? I think I might need some time alone with my client." 

 

Thor frowned at her. "But-" 

 

"Please, my prince. I think you would be too much of a distraction in here." 

 

Letting out a defeated sigh, Thor stood up from his chair. "If that's what you want. I suppose I'll just... come back in a while." bowing his head at the two of them, he headed over to the door and closed it gently behind him as he left the room.

 

"Why did he have to leave?" he asked and shook his head a little. "What are we doing now?"

 

Halldís waited until Thor had left to turn her eyes back to Loki, giving him a soft smile. "I figured you needed a moment to yourself. He cannot always be there for you, my lord. I know prince Thor is very protective of the ones he cares about, and he has to learn to let it go sometimes."

 

"Thor does not have to protect me. He knows that I can protect myself very well." Loki replied. What did this have to do with the conversation they had earlier? Maybe she didn't mean physical harm? Maybe she meant something different but he couldn't tell for sure. At least he knew that she was clearly different from the other servants he had seen so far. Everyone dared to speak their mind but at least the others asked for permission first. Halldís on the other hand didn't seem to mind at all and just said what was on her mind.

 

"Forgive me, my lord. It was not my intention to insult you." She bowed her head respectfully for a few seconds before straightening back up again.

 

"Besides," she continued after a short silence, grabbing the fabric he had chosen. "I need you to remove your tunic, and if you and prince Thor have not seen each other naked yet, then you probably don't want him watching you."

 

Loki cleared his throat a little awkwardly. "My father forbid all sort of physical or emotional contact so... I never had a sense of shame. I don't know if he ever looked at me but I've been naked around him a couple of times already. Just because it was... natural for me. I never felt the need to hide my body because I knew no one would touch it anyway." Loki explained and played with the fabric of his tunic. 

 

"It is different now of course." and then there were the scars. Though he figured - by the way Halldís looked at him with a rather serious expression - that he had to. So after another short moment he took of his tunic by pulling it over his head, letting it fall down to the floor next to him.

 

"I'm thinking we should make you a couple of different kind of garments. Obviously you'll get more as the time goes on, but let's start with a couple of basic things. I think I should make you a set of robes. Something light, because if it is to cover most of your body, I do not want you to feel too warm. We could also make you a pair of harem pants, a couple of different tunics, and something of a mix between a loin cloth and a skirt. You may not want to wear that around certain people, but it would be something for you to wear in your chambers when you wish to be comfortable. I'm sure Thor would appreciate it." She winked at him, and moved back to the different fabrics to pick out what she needed. 

 

"Appreciate it?" he then asked with a light frown, blinking a little irritated at the wink. "Why would he appreciate me being comfortable? He doesn't get anything out of it."

 

 

"Well, it's not that I don't think he would appreciate you being comfortable, but that's not exactly what I was referring to," she said, a mysterious smile on her face. "I just happen to think he would enjoy that particular piece of clothing. Of course, I can think of other things he would enjoy, but I feel as though it would be out of line for me to suggest them."

 

 

This explanation was not really something he expected but he figured he wouldn't get anything else so he just took this answer and shut his mouth. Maybe he understood it differently? Or maybe even in the wrong way like he did many times before already. Again he was frustrated that all his knowledge was not of any help and he felt a little stupid sometimes. But Thor already assured him that he was learning and would understand everything sooner or later. Loki wondered if the others knew that he knew almost nothing about that kind of stuff and was only starting to learn everything. And how could they think he wanted to seduce Thor for his own purposes if he didn't even know how? 

 

"You have a very beautiful colour on your skin, my lord," she told him as she smoothed out the fabric with her hands. "It will go great with this fabric."

 

He looked down while she worked with the fabric - directly on his body. And she never hurt him with one of the needles. Halldís really knew how to work with this and Loki couldn't help but smile just a little. The smile grew even wider at her compliment. He never thought one of the Aesir would compliment him on his looks but it sounded like she truly meant it and he was grateful for this. 

 

 

"Thank you Halldís. It really means a lot to me." he said with a warm smile. "You have a beautiful colour on your skin as well." Loki added a few seconds later. Up to now he never really replied a compliment so he figured he should start doing this. 

 

 

Halldís chuckled and bowed her head. "Thank you. That is very kind of you, my lord."

 

 

When she was finally done though, she stood up and let out an exhausted breath. "I'm afraid you will have to use Thor's tunic for a while longer," she told him, taking the fabric off of him, and putting it back on the table. "I have your measurments, and I will begin to sow immediately. Most of your clothes should be finished later today. I will have a servant bring them to you. I have to say though, my lord, that Thor's tunic suits you." She gave him another smile. 

 

He let out a small chuckle when she continued and shrugged a little. It was a little too big for him but he was glad that she said this anyway. He believed her and he figured if she thought it suited him... Thor thought this as well. Hopefully. Of course he couldn't tell for sure. And to hear that most of his clothes would be done today... it was surprising and Loki was curious just how fast she could work. It was already afternoon and he had no idea how much she'd sew for him. 

 

 

And then there was something else. She seemed to be very nice and despite - or maybe because of - the fact that she was not afraid to speak her mind, she seemed to be utterly trustworthy and honest. Loki figured she wouldn't laugh or make a comment if he'd ask. After all she made a similar comment just a few moments ago as well so why not? 

 

 

"Halldís? Can I ask you something?" he asked and waited for her to look at him. "How can dancing be associated with sex?"

 

 

"Wow, my lord. That is quite the question." She smiled at him, tilting her head to the side as she thought about it. "Well, I suppose it depends on what kind of dance you would be referring to. If it is more of a traditional dance between two people, then I suppose it could be the intimacy, the closeness between the two of them that could be associated with sex... If you are talking about some other kind of dance... Well, I suppose that in general, a lot of dancing could be associated with sex. It's all about the movement."

 

 

"Oh." Loki just said. He was not disappointed or something but he just realised again that he didn't know as much as he thought he knew. 

 

 

And he wanted to know more. He didn't want to walk blindly into this if Thor knew so much and he didn't. He wanted to know how he could make him happy and if it would go on like this Loki doubted that would ever happen. If they wanted to take it slow then maybe he shouldn't dance for him? If it was something sexual then he certainly shouldn't. No wonder Thor had looked at him rather surprised at his suggestion so Loki figured he should stop suggesting things without knowing the possible meaning behind it? 

 

 

"I think I don't need a dancing outfit then."

 

 

Halldís raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile on her face. "That's too bad. But... well, if you change your mind, I could always make you one later."

 

 

"Thank you. But I don't think that is necessary. I will let you know if there is something else though."

 

 

****

 

 

The next day, during breakfast, Loki put the goblet with the cold tea to the side after taking another sip. They had spent the rest of the day together in Thor's chambers, just lying there and talking about everything and nothing in particular. Though there was still one thing he wanted to talk about with him. So he figured this was the best moment for it. 

 

 

"Thor do you remember that one time when I suggested I could dance for you?"

 

 

"Of course I do."

 

 

"Halldís already explained me what this... what dancing could be associated with. I hope you didn't think that I wanted to imply anything when I suggested to dance for you. I was irritated when you almost choked on your food that day but now I know why that was."

 

"I actually liked the idea. And I never thought about this being... sexual. I know how you meant it." Thor said, turning his eyes back up to meet Loki's. "But if you don't want to do it, you do not have to. It can wait. We could always dance together at the next feast."

 

 

"The next feast? When will it be? I thought there was one just a few days ago."

 

"I'm not sure. Whenever we have a reason to celebrate... there's a feast. If it was up to be, we would be celebrating my father's decision to let you stay here." Thor smiled. "I'm sure we will have another feast shortly."

 

Loki nodded and they both leaned in to share a gentle kiss. 

 

"But first I'll have to go and see my brother in the evening. He said he wanted to show me something. But I'll stay with you for a while longer." Loki added quietly and brought their lips together once more. Again, there was this sweet tingle in his stomach every time they touched and it was just getting stronger each time. Loki did not want to miss it and he was utterly happy that he could share this with Thor. 

 

He could feel Thor's hand moving up to the back of his head and then, he started to let his long fingers trail through the dark hair gently, leaving Loki with goose bumps all over his skin. He sighed, parting his lips for Thor as soon as he could feel his tongue trailing over his lower lip again. It felt so nice and Loki was barely able to find words for all of this. There were no words and after a while he stopped looking for the exact names and explanations and instead concentrated on what was happening right here. He didn't need to have words for everything, maybe it was enough to just _feel_ them instead of being able to name everything. He opened his mouth a bit more when Thor started to suck on his bottom lip - yet another sensation and he just loved it. He didn't care that he maybe just felt it was more intense because he'd never been touched like this before. Maybe it would be even better that way. 

 

Not paying attention to anything else, Loki only barely noticed the way he shifted his weight, one of his legs raised a bit to swing it around and he was sitting on Thor's lap in no time, not breaking the kiss. 

 

The change of their position caused Thor's hand to automatically slide over his thigh just a few centimeters but it was enough to make Loki let out a moan at the thrilling feeling and the moment he did this, Loki broke the kiss rather quickly, almost staring at Thor for a couple of moments. He felt himself blushing and without saying a word, he moved down to sit next to him again, clearing his throat. He guessed kissing and letting himself go was something they shouldn't do in the near future. At least not to this extend. Maybe he should start doing everything with full control again.

 

"That was...." Thor started with a shaky breath. He chuckled, bringing his hand up to Loki's cheek. Loki could feel his hand shaking lightly and he figured it had been as exciting for Thor as it had been for him which made him feel a bit more at ease and he smiled lightly at Thor. 

 

"It was very... it was great."

 

"It was." Loki agreed with a nod. They looked at each other for quite some time before Loki let out a deep breath. "I think I'm going to see Byleistr now. I'll try to hurry."

 

"Take your time. I will be here when you get back."

 

****

 

"Why did you call me here, Byleistr?"

 

"Heimdallr can see Jötunheimr again. Mother and Helblindi are still alive. But they are injured. We need to go back to Jötunheimr as soon as possible."

 

****

 

After about half an hour, Thor realised he was getting a bit restless. He wondered what Loki was doing, and where he had gone. What did Byleistr want to show him? Did it have something to do with their home? Thor couldn't think of anything else he would want to show him. Thor decided he couldn't stay here anymore. He needed a distraction, something to take his mind off whatever Loki and Byleistr could be doing. With a sigh, he pushed himself off the bed, walking over to the door and leaving the room. He still didn't know what to do, but he settled for moving towards the training grounds, figuring that perhaps his friends would be there. When he got there, he noticed that only the Warriors Three were there, which suited him just fine because he still felt guilty whenever he talked to Sif. 

 

Smiling at them as he got closer, he shook his head when they immediately told him that they'd heard what happened and whether or not it was true that Loki was allowed to stay. 

 

"Yes, it's true," he said, nodding his head. "He will be staying here." 

 

They all smiled and patted him on the back, and Fandral gave him a teasing look. 

 

"Is it also true that you and Loki will be getting married?"

 

Thor furrowed his brow. How many rumours had they heard? "No, my friends. At least not at the moment. We have decided to take things slow." 

 

Fandral raised his eyebrows. "So it is true that you love him?" 

 

Giving him a long look, Thor finally nodded his head again. "Yes. I love him." 

 

Almost immediately, Fandral looked a little guilty. "I'm sorry, Thor. I didn't know. If I had known...", 

 

"It is all right, Fandral. There is no harm done." Thor patted him on the shoulder, and the other two looked relieved that they had settled their differences.

 

Once Thor had explained to them what Loki was doing and they were finished talking about him, Thor wondered if anyone wished to challenge him. He was longing for a fight, something to take his mind off everything else that had been going on lately. Fandral accepted his challenge, and the two of them moved over to choose their weapons. It wasn't a very intense fight, though there were a couple of intense moments. Mostly, they were quite playful, and they did not hold back from teasing each other as they fought. All in all, Thor had a very good time, and he did almost forget about Loki for a little while. Of course, as soon as he had won against Fandral, he wondered if perhaps he should be getting back to his chambers, since he didn't know how much time Loki would be spending with Byleistr, but then Volstagg wanted to fight, and Thor was not about to turn him down.

 

Perhaps Loki would be gone a while longer, and even if he wasn't, Thor was sure that Lok would be fine with waiting for him for a couple of minutes. 

 

They ended up staying in the training grounds a bit longer than Thor had anticipated. He had only wanted to get through one match, possibly two, but after a while the sun was coming down, and he realised they must have been there at least a few hours. 

 

"I think I should be getting back to my chambers," he said, giving the other three a smile. "Loki must be waiting for me." 

 

They looked like they didn't want him to go, and Fandral even put on his best pout. "Oh, come on, Thor. Surely Loki can wait a bit longer?" 

 

Thor shook his head. "No, I would like to speak to him. Hopefully he will tell me what his brother showed him." 

 

They sighed, and Thor chuckled at how sad they were to see him go. "Won't the two of you at least join us for a drink at the tavern?" Volstagg asked, and Thor thought about it for a moment before shaking his head again. 

 

"Not tonight, I am afraid. Some other time, my friends."

 

They nodded their heads, and Volstagg mumbled something about perhaps going home to his own family. Thor stayed long enough for Fandral to call them boring, before he bid them good night and walked away from there. He wanted to spend the night with Loki. They could go to the tavern some other time. Besides, he was sure Loki would want to try on his new clothes. Thor already couldn't wait to see him in them.

 

And by the time Thor got back to his chambers, he was excited and curious to find out what Byleistr had wanted to show Loki. He hoped it was nothing too private, and that Loki would be willing to share the information with him. When he stepped inside his chambers, though, he noticed at once that Loki wasn't there. Frowning, he closed the door behind him and took a few steps inside. Where was he? He checked the bathroom, but there was no one in there either. That was odd. He should have been back now, shouldn't he? There was an uncomfortable feeling at the pit of Thor's stomach, but he told himself not to overreact. Loki was probably running late. Perhaps he simply wanted to spend some time with his brother? He should just wait for Loki to get back. It was much better than going out to look for him. Unless that was exactly what Loki had done? After all, Thor had promised to wait for him in here, and he had been gone a bit longer than he had anticipated. What if Loki had gone back, only to realise that Thor wasn't there, and then gone out to look for him? Thor hoped that wasn't true. He didn't like the thought of Loki walking around the castle all by himself. It seemed stupid that he should have to worry about something like that, especially when this was Loki's new home, but he couldn't help himself. There were a lot of people that disagreed with Loki staying here, and he still remembered the council member's threat. Unable to sit still any longer, Thor moved up from the bed and headed out the door, figuring he might as well go out and look.

 

But he couldn't find him.

 

Thor had searched through what felt like the entire palace, and by now, he was really worried. Would Loki really be gone for so long without telling him? Granted, Loki had told him that he would be with his brother, and he hadn't known how long he would be gone, but he had said that he would try to hurry. What could they possibly be doing? There was a definite sense of dread at the bottom of Thor's stomach, and he finally realised that he couldn't do this anymore. He had to find out for sure. Telling the Warriors Three that he was grateful for their help but that they could stop searching now, Thor made his way over the Rainbow Bridge and over to see Heimdallr. The gatekeeper was standing there, just like always, and Thor had a sudden feeling that he had been waiting for him, which was confirmed when he spoke up. 

 

"I figured you would come sooner or later, my prince." 

 

Thor furrowed his brow and stepped closer. "Where is he?" he demanded to know, and Heimdallr waited a moment before answering. 

 

"He has gone with his brother to Jötunheimr." His stomach dropping, Thor stared at the other man. To Jötunheimr? Why? What were they doing in there?! How could Loki have gone there without telling him?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things escalate a bit. 
> 
> At least Laufey gets a little of what he deserves.

"What do you mean? Right now?" Loki asked and looked into the sky, even if he couldn't see anything at all. 

 

"Yes. We waited way too long already. We need to go to Jötunheimr and get back what is ours. I don't want to risk anything. Do you, brother? Or should I say my king?" his brother replied carefully and Loki looked up. 

 

"Father disowned me, I can't stay." he argued. Byleistr laughed at that. 

 

"You inherit the crown! You are the only one except Laufey who inherits it! If anyone would be allowed to stay, it would be you. The scar that parts it is not a reason you're not king anymore!" 

 

Loki breathed deeply and looked at the Bifröst again. It wasn't open yet but he knew it could be in a matter of seconds. He wanted to go home. Not only because he missed it but because he needed Laufey to stop what he was doing to everyone. He was afraid of his own father but he knew this was not about him and his fear. 

 

"You are right. We have to go and see what happened." Loki finally agreed with a nod and stepped forward. 

 

"Heimdallr, make sure Thor doesn't follow us. This is not his business and he has to stay out of it." 

 

****

 

Travelling through the Bifröst was a little troubling and Loki found he preferred using his own paths. But this was not important right now. He took a deep breath and walked forward with his brother, right towards the palace which - fortunately - was not far away from where they entered. It was more silent than they both remembered and he wondered what happened while they were gone. The palace was quiet and Loki felt himself getting nervous. 

 

"I'm going to see if they are in the dungeons." Loki said quietly and looked up. 

 

Byleistr nodded. "I'll see if I can find them in their chambers." 

 

And with that the brothers parted. Loki walked down the stairs quickly, almost hectically because he didn't want to be late for anything. It was quiet down here as well and Loki was worried what happened with the prisoners. They had to be here but the cells were empty. Why didn't Heimdallr tell them that something was off? Was he even able to see it? 

 

"Who's there?!!" someone called and Loki could hear that it was Helblindi. 

 

His heart dropped and he ran to where the voice came from, eyes widening when he saw his little brother and his mother in one of the cells, caged by a magical barrier. 

 

"Loki!! By the Norns we thought you and Baldr were dead!" Helblindi breathed and it was audible that he was utterly relieved. 

 

Loki's eyes moved on to his mother. She was sleeping and someone put a blindfold over her eyes. Helblindi obviously noticed his gaze and he looked down. 

 

"She is blind." Helblindi simply said - way more quiet than before.

 

Loki took a step back and observed the barrier for a while. "Step away, I'll try to break it."

 

Loki closed his eyes and raised his hands, concentrating on the barrier in front of him. He breathed out and analysed it, looking for the way it was built so he could find something to reverse it. It took him a few moments before he found something. Laufey's magic. It was something he was barely familiar with, but eventually he managed to break it down to the roots. Then, he mumbled something to himself, opening his eyes again only to see that the barrier slowly faded. As soon as it was gone Loki stepped through it and walked to his mother. Now that he was finally able to see her again, he realised just how much he had missed her. He'd been away for only a month, but that had been more than enough.

 

"Mother?" Loki said and put his hands on her cheek. 

 

She let out a groan and rolled to her side slowly. "Loki? Loki are you there?" Nál asked and reached up to caress his head. "I thought you weren't coming back again...." she breathed exhausted and smiled. 

 

"Byleistr and I were in Ásgarðr. But we're back now. And we will make sure that everything is alright. Where is father? What did he do?"

 

"He is in the throne room. He wanted to invade Ásgarðr to get you and the Casket. He lied to our people and said that you turned against us." Helblindi explained with utter bitterness in his voice. 

 

"We can't let him do that... I can't let him do that. I promise I'll stop him. It will be alright." Loki then assured them and stood up again, turning to look into the direction he came from. Laufey would pay for this.

 

****

 

Thor was in Jötunheimr rather quickly. It was weird to come back like this. He could barely believe that he was back. No matter what he thought of Laufey stealing him away from his parents, no matter what he thought about not having grown up in Asgard, this place had been his home. He was always going to feel like there was a part of him that belonged here, no matter if he knew he was Aesir now. He would hate to see the realm destroyed, which was why he needed to make sure Laufey was no longer allowed to do whatever he wanted with it.

 

Then, Thor heard noises from the throne room. Fighting sounds. They were so familiar that he could recognise them without a second thought. And without any further moment of hesitation, Thor sped up, running to the large throne room, bursting in with his hammer held tightly in his right hand. Taking in the scene, he had enough time to realise that both of Loki's brothers were here. He didn't really pay attention to them, though. Instead, his eyes turned to Loki, and he took a second to see for himself that at least he was still alive. Then, he turned his eyes to Laufey, and he took a couple of steps closer, his hammer vibrating in his hand as he glared at the king. 

 

Out of the corners of his eyes, Thor could see that they already had a fight. The ground was broken, pierced through with ice. There was even a hole in the wall.

 

"So the lost prince decided to come back." Laufey said with a wide grin. 

 

Though when his eyes fell on Mjölnir in his hands the grin faded slowly. "Don't tell me they were right about you." Laufey continued and walked a few steps forward, becoming faster as he tried to grab him before any of the others had the time to actually respond to Thor's presence.

 

Thor fixed Laufey with a harsh stare. The last time he had stood in front of him, he had made sure to show him respect. After all, Laufey was his king. Now, though, he knew exactly what Laufey had done, and he knew he deserved absolutely no respect. 

 

"Don't make me hurt you," he said, raising his hammer and pointing it in Laufey's direction when he moved forward. "You have given me more than enough reasons to kill you. You should consider yourself lucky I'm not slaying you on the spot." Thor was showing an awful lot of restraint right now, considering he wanted nothing more than to crush Laufey's skull with the help of his hammer. 

 

"You couldn't kill me, Odinson. You overestimate yourself." Laufey let out another laugh and seemed to consider what was best in this situation. Then, after a moment of silence he leaped forward again and a block of ice appeared around his fist and some spikes emerged from there while he hauled off and aimed at Thor.

 

At his words, Thor actually dared to smirk. He may not have carried Mjölnir for long, and he may not have been able to wield magic the same way Laufey could, but he was a warrior, and he had been for a very long time. If Laufey wanted to try him, he was more than welcomed to. And it seemed as though he did. When Laufey attacked, Thor - who had of course been ready for it - ducked and threw himself to the side, rolling over once before getting back on his feet, only hesitating for a short second before throwing the hammer in Laufey's direction, making sure not to aim for the head. If he could avoid killing him, he would do so, if only because he thought Laufey deserved an even worse punishment than death. 

 

Mjölnir hit Laufey right against his chest and sent him flying backwards but not before he actually managed to hurt Thor as well. One of the spikes cut his cheek and there was a thick stream of blood running down his face.

 

Thor winced in pain when the ice hit him. It was not normal ice. It was made out of Seidr and Thor could feel the cold burn throughout the side of his face, but at least he had been able to hit Laufey with his hammer. That had been worth it. He reached up and wiped the blood of his cheek, looking down at his hand with another smirk on his lips. Did Laufey not understand that this was exactly what he wanted? Now he had an even better excuse to attack him, since Laufey had been the first one to draw blood. 

 

Then, Thor moved his arm out to get his hammer back. As soon as he had her back in his hand, he let the power of thunder and lightning surge through him. No matter how often he did this... It was always enticing. Exciting. Feeling the power of pure lightning inside of him made Thor feel lightheaded. The power of nature. It was overwhelming and Thor dared to take a few heartbeats to relish the feeling he enjoyed so much before sending the lightning into the direction of Laufey. Now, usually he always restrained himself. But not this time. The full energy was released and he didn't hold any of it back which caused Laufey's body to twitch and his limbs to jerk in the most gruesome ways before the body fell limp. 

 

Then, there was a long, heavy silence and the only thing they heard was them panting from the battle.

 

In the end, it was Byleistr who broke the silence after helping Loki up to his feet while Helblindi walked towards Laufey.

 

"Why did you come here?!!" Byleistr called, obviously angry at Thor.

 

"Don't. Brother, Laufey would've won if it wasn't for him." Loki interrupted him harshly.

 

Thor's body was still trembling, and he felt completely exhausted from the power his body had just contained. Taking deep breaths, he turned around when Byleistr addressed him, but ignored him and instead looked at Loki. Dropping the hammer to the ground, he walked over and reached up to put his hands on Loki's cheeks, furrowing his brow as he gave him a worried look. 

 

"Are you sure you are all right? When I heard you had gone to Jötunheimr... I was so scared."

 

Thor recognised a faint smile on Loki's lips when he replied. "I'm fine. What about you?" 

 

"It is just a small cut. It will heal."

 

Meanwhile, Helblindi came back from Laufey and let out a sigh. "He is unconscious but I don't know for how long. What are we going to do now? We can't leave him here. But we can't leave Jötunheimr behind without anyone of our family."

 

"Has he always been like this?" Loki asked instead of answering to Helblindi and sighed. 

 

Thor could hear a certain hint of sadness in Loki's voice, and he immediately wished he could comfort him, but this was the wrong place and the wrong time. They had to figure out what to do with Laufey, and they were surrounded by Loki's brothers. There would be time to comfort Loki later, should he need it. Thor had a feeling that Loki would not want to talk about this, just like he had not wanted to talk about the rumours that were circling around him.

 

"Laufey won't be able to cause any more damage if we bring him into the dungeons in Ásgarðr. Heimdallr suggested this as well." Byleistr then answered without saying anything towards Loki's question concerning Laufey. "Our mother needs a healer. But I don't think it will be good if we bring her to Ásgarðr. I've seen the way they treat us. I'll bring her to our healers and make sure our people will know about this." he continued and then bowed to Loki, looking down as he brought up his hand to put it on his own heart. "That is if you would give me the permission to do so, my lord." he said and Loki frowned a little. 

 

 

"You have my permission, Byleistr. I'm sure you will be the perfect substitute until I return." then, Loki turned to Helblindi. "Take care of our mother while Byleistr talks to our people. I'll go back to Ásgarðr to make sure father is brought into the dungeons...." he made a pause, looking at Thor. "If you are okay with this. I don't want to bring him there if you think this wouldn't be a good idea."

 

Until he returned? Thor frowned, not really liking the thought. What did this mean? In fact, what was going to happen now that Laufey would be taken away? Jötunheimr needed a new king, and the next one in line... was Loki. Would Loki do it? Would he be crowned king? If he was king of Jötunheimr, and Thor eventually became king of Ásgarðr... How could they be together? How could that possibly work? At the same time, Thor would never want Loki to give up his position for him. He knew how difficult it would have been to refuse the throne on behalf of Loki, and he wouldn't wish for Loki to have to make that choice. 

 

"If you are okay with this. I don't want to bring him there if you think this wouldn't be a good idea." 

 

When Loki addressed him, Thor blinked and turned his attention back to him. "No, I... Of course. You should bring him to Ásgarðr. Our dungeons are a safe place, we will make sure he stays there."

 

****

 

Of course, Odin had not been pleased about what they had done. In fact, he had been rather furious that Thor disobeyed direct orders to not interfere with what was going on in Jötunheimr. Things could've turned out worse. Thor had known. He had known about the dangers but he had been more concerned about Loki's safety than anything else - and that was what his father thought was terrible. As the future king, Thor should think about his realm first before thinking about his personal needs. This was apparently something Thor had to learn, even if he was rather unwilling to do this. 

 

And when Odin was gone, Loki just left. Thor had tried to comfort him and he had put a hand to Loki's neck. But Loki had pulled away immediately, as if Thor's touch bothered him. Thor wanted to go after him but had to stay behind after getting a harsh _Leave me alone._ from Loki. The harsh tone in his words hurt Thor more than he wanted to admit, but he also wanted to respect Loki's wish of being alone for a while. 

 

Thor had stayed on the Bifröst and he didn't know how much time had passed since Loki left, and he didn't know how many thoughts had been running through his head. It was a bit overwhelming. He was glad that Loki and his family were safe, and he thought it was a good thing that Laufey was now in a cell in the dungeons, but everything else was just so confusing. He did not know what Loki wanted, and it was something they would have to talk about, because if Loki did want to become king of Jötunheimr... That would probably mean the end for them, and Thor did not wish to continue their relationship if he was just going to end up having his heart broken in the end. If he would have to end up marrying someone else in order to have someone next to him on the throne, in order to have someone that could give him heirs, then he wanted to know that now, so that he could prepare himself for it. At the same time, though, he did not wish to push Loki. He should be allowed to make this decision at his own pace, because it was after all a very big decision. 

 

He was so caught up in his thoughts, that he didn't realise someone had come near him and he only looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Slowly moving his head up, he turned around and saw his mother standing there, with a gentle smile on her face. 

 

"I thought you would be here." Thor was about to ask what she wanted, but did not even have time to open his mouth before she had sat down next to him. To be honest, it was a little bit weird to see the queen of Ásgarðr sitting on the bridge like this, but Thor appreciated the company, so he certainly wasn't going to complain. 

 

"I heard about what happened," she told him, and Thor nodded his head. 

 

Of course. The capture of Laufey had probably led to even more rumours, and even more gossip. He did not see how they could use this to insult Loki, though. If anything, this should have shown them that Loki was not doing anything for his father, that he was not... Then again, they could probably spin this to mean that Loki had gotten Thor to take Laufey out so that he could become the new king of Jotunheim. What would they say if Loki gave up the throne? Would they claim that he was after the throne of Ásgarðr instead? No matter what they did, Thor had a feeling some of the people would try to make it look like Loki was the bad one, that he was possibly even worse than his father. He wished they would stop, because they were not helping their situation in the slightest. If only he could tell them to please support his choice of loved one. Then again, if Loki did decide to become king of Jötunheimr, they would no longer need to defend themselves against such rumours. 

 

"Where is Loki?" his mother finally asked him, and Thor pressed his lips together and turned his eyes down, which might have been an answer in itself. 

 

He didn't know where Loki was. He didn't know what Loki was doing. He didn't even know if he was supposed to approach Loki or not, because he didn't know if he had done something to upset him. Was it that Loki was angry at the situation in general, and Thor just happened to be part of that? He didn't know. Thor had no idea what Loki was thinking, and he couldn't ask him right now because he would have to find him first. 

 

"Did you two have a fight?" 

 

Thor sighed, turning his eyes back up again and glancing quickly over at his mother. "No, I... I don't know. He just walked away from me." 

 

Frigga put a hand on his arm. "Perhaps he just needed some time to think about all of this? He did just help capture his father, after all."

 

Thor supposed that was true. Loki did have a lot on his mind right now, but the fact that Loki had not even told him where he was going, certainly made it seem like he was mad at him. Thor would have been more than happy to give Loki his space, if only he would have told him to please leave him alone for a little while. Would that have been so difficult? But this wasn't about him. It was about Loki. Thor had a family, and a happy life here in Ásgarðr. Loki's world had changed completely, and it was understandable that he would need time to think. Thor should not take it as a personal insult. 

 

They continued talking for quite some time, but eventually, Frigga managed to get him to stand up. Thor somewhat reluctantly followed her back to the palace, and his mother was insisting that he should go wait in his chambers for Loki's return. Thor was actually kind of hoping that Loki was already in his chambers, because if he wasn't in there... Where else could he be? He assumed Loki would not want to go outside and explore Ásgarðr all by himself. After all, he must have remembered what happened last time. This time, he would not have Thor there to help him out of any trouble. Granted, Thor knew Loki was more than capable of taking care of himself, but he could not use magic against any of Ásgarðr's people, and if they got violent... No, Thor certainly hoped Loki had not gone outside to explore. Where else could he be? He knew about Frigga's garden. Perhaps he was there? Or the library. The library seemed like a good place for Loki to be alone. It definitely seemed like a good place for him to hide, and also a good place for him to get comfortable. Thor was almost tempted to go look for Loki in the library, but his mother's voice was still ringing in his ears, telling him to go back to his chambers and wait for Loki there. With a sigh, he did get back to his chambers, and he noticed immediately that Loki was not there. Thor did not like it. The last time Loki had not been inside the chambers when Thor had thought he would be, he had gone to Jötunheimr and been attacked by his father. Thor certainly wasn't going to let something like that happen again. 

 

Thor also knew he probably wasn't supposed to worry, but he did. He simply couldn't help himself. It was quickly getting dark outside, and Thor did not like the idea of Loki being all alone at night. Where was he? Maybe he should go look for him after all? 

 

No, he should wait. His mother had been right. 

 

If Loki wanted space, then he would give him his space. He did not want Loki to feel like he was worrying too much about him, or that he was overbearing. Lying down on his side, he stared at the wall and counted the seconds. He had to be back soon, didn't he? How much longer could he be gone? Didn't he understand that Thor would worry about him? He had no idea where Loki was. He could be inside the palace, he could be outside the palace... He wouldn't know. And he would not find out for sure unless he went out to look for him, something which he had told himself he wouldn't do. Feeling incredibly frustrated, Thor let out another sigh and closed his eyes. He was not going to fall asleep. He was not going to fall asleep. He was not...

 

When he suddenly woke up again, it was to the sound of his door opening. Immediately tensing up a little bit, he opened his eyes and listened to the sound of someone making their way over to the bed and lying down next to him. 

 

Loki was back. And he smelled like... mead? How was that possible? How had anyone in Ásgarðr allowed him to have a drink? Or maybe it was just Loki's tunic that smelled like it and not Loki himself? At first, Thor thought about staying like that, allowing Loki to go to sleep without bothering to ask any questions, but then he changed his mind, and turned around to look at him. 

 

"Where have you been?" he asked. 

 

Loki didn't turn around. He remained with his back facing Thor and he seemed to hesitate before bringing himself to answer. 

 

"If I would want you to know where I've been, I would've told you where I'm going from the beginning, don't you think?" he replied, pulling the thin blanket over himself.

 

Thor furrowed his brow when Loki spoke up. The tone of his voice. It felt so... unfamiliar. It was nothing like the Loki he had spent the last few days with, nor the Loki he had spent time with when his memories had been taken away from him. If anything, this was more reminiscent of the Loki he had first gotten to know back in Jötunheimr when he'd been his personal guard. The one who had not been afraid of ordering him around, the one who had not always been very nice to him. It was strange to hear that tone of voice again, and Thor wondered what had caused it. He had thought Loki had taken a moment to himself in order to calm down, but now it seemed as though it had not helped at all. What had gone wrong? Just a couple of hours ago, they had been in this room, having fun together. And now... Now Thor wasn't entirely sure what was going on. I was all a bit confusing, really. 

 

Had this been back in the icy realm, he would of course not have said anything else, because he would not have wanted to upset the prince. Now, though, he didn't have to care about that. He wasn't working for Loki. They were... in some kind of relationship, and he had a right to know where Loki had wandered off to. Okay, maybe he didn't have a right to know, but he had a right to ask, and he had a right to be concerned. 

 

"You've been drinking," he said. 

 

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He didn't need to ask, but he was interested to find out _where_ Loki had been drinking. What place would let him in? Granted, Thor hoped there was a place in Ásgarðr that would let Loki in, but he still wanted to know for sure. And he also wanted to know why he had been drinking. Did he truly think that was a good solution to his problems? 

 

"I haven't been drinking. Someone invited me to have a drink with them and I said yes. I don't see your problem." Loki replied, obviously annoyed.

 

Thor furrowed his brow at Loki's answer. Hadn't been drinking? He could smell the alcohol on him from all the way over to his side of the bed. And from what Loki told him, it sounded like he had indeed been drinking. If not, then what could possibly be Loki's definition of drinking? And who was this mysterious person that had offered him a drink? Who would do that? Thor had been dubious enough when he had realised that Loki may have left the palace, but to hear that he had even been offered a drink... By who? 

 

Thor wished it wasn't such a surprise, but he simply did not understand who would be willing to buy the son of Laufey a drink. He was about to ask too, but then Loki pulled the blanket over his shoulders even more, and Thor saw that as the sign that it was. So they would be going to sleep angry with each other? They'd just had their first... he wasn't entirely sure if he should call it a fight, because it hadn't lasted that long, nor been all that loud, but he supposed it was something of a small fight. To be honest, he had thought they would last longer. They had been so happy around each other, he had assumed it would take quite some time before they truly disagreed with each other. Sighing inwardly, he turned around again, pulling the blanket over his own shoulders and closing his eyes. 

 

Nevertheless, the night was calm and comforting. Thor didn't dream about anything and the rest had done his body good. When Thor woke up, it took him a couple of seconds to remember what had happened yesterday. Once he did, he slowly turned around to glance over at Loki, but found the bed to be empty. Frowning, he sat up, and looked around the room. He wasn't here. He must have left again. Thor let out another frustrated sigh. Where had he gone to this time? It wasn't that Thor didn't want Loki to explore Ásgarðr all by himself, he thought it was a good thing if it meant that he was beginning to feel at home here, but at the same time, he wanted to show Loki around. Hadn't Loki told him he needed to take him to the market again? Thor had even thought about taking him to the library again. Now, though, it almost seemed like Loki thought he would have a better time without him, and that definitely frustrated Thor. 

 

Getting out of the bed, he noticed his red tunic Loki had been wearing yesterday on the floor. He figured Loki must have changed to one of his new ones, and he picked up the tunic and put it away, a small voice in the back of his head sadly telling him that if he was indeed about to lose Loki, at least he would always have something to remember him by. Realising he could stay in his chambers no longer, Thor got dressed and headed out the door, figuring he needed to do something to take his mind off the situation. 

 

Thor headed straight to the training grounds. He hadn't even decided to go there, but his feet seemed to have a will of their own. Once he arrived at the training grounds, however, he realised how badly he really did need to let some of his frustration out. He looked up at the sky, and noticed that it was turning into a very dull sort of grey. Clenching his jaw because the fact that he couldn't even hide that he was in a bad mood just annoyed him even further, Thor moved closer and looked at the warriors already training. He quickly found his friends, and he greeted them with a smile before immediately moving over to get a sword. 

 

 

"Someone is eager to start," Fandral said, and Thor glanced over at him. He figured they all knew about what had happened yesterday. After all, rumours in Ásgarðr spread fast. Perhaps they did not know the entire story, but they certainly knew parts of it, and so Thor did not feel the need to explain anything to them. It seemed like they were wise enough not to ask any questions too, and Thor simply went forward and challenged the first warrior he saw. 

 

 

A while later, he had beaten every single warrior that had the courage to accept his challenge. He was definitely letting out some of the pent up frustration and anger he had been carrying around, and he wasn't holding back as much as he sometimes did because he wanted to give the others a chance. Having just defeated the latest guard to accept his challenge, he moved closer to his friends, who were all watching him with raised eyebrows. 

 

"You know, Thor," Fandral began, sounding somewhat unsure of himself. "We can't help but notice that you seem a little... angry." 

 

Volstagg nodded his head. "Or frustrated." 

 

Hogun looked at the other two. "Or both." 

 

Thor watched all three of them for a moment before turning his eyes to Sif, who was saying nothing. Turning around, he made his way back towards the middle of the training ground, picking up his sword again before asking if anyone else wanted to fight. Another warrior stepped up, and Thor smiled. 

 

"Maybe you should take it easy for a little while?" Fandral suggested. "If not for your own sake, then for theirs." He motioned towards the other warriors, the ones who had been fighting against Thor, and they all looked rather tired. 

 

With a sigh, Thor nodded his head and went over to sit down by his friends. They all looked like they wanted to say something, but weren't entirely sure how to put it without making him upset. Thor was already upset, though, so there was really no reason for them to be so scared about it. A couple of moments went by, and finally Volstagg spoke up, wondering what happened last night. With a sigh, Thor told them that he and Loki had had a minor disagreement. 

 

"A minor disagreement?" Fandral raised his eyebrows. "Who do you think you're fooling? You look like he insulted your hammer. Or worse." 

 

Thor felt a hand on his shoulder, and he gave Sif a thankful smile, knowing that she was on his side, whatever the argument had been about. But Thor listened to his suggestion and took a little break, sitting down on one of the benches when Volstagg spoke up again.

 

"Here comes your brother."

 

Tensing up, Thor threw a glance over his shoulder, immediately noticing Baldr and his best friend Nanna. Great. As if he wasn't annoyed enough already. With a sigh, he turned his eyes away again. He had still not forgiven Baldr for anything he had done. He had no reason to, really, since Baldr had not even tried to apologise. It truly seemed like he carried no regrets whatsoever, and Thor figured that their relationship would be a bit tense for quite some time now. It was a shame, really, because he had liked Baldr when he had first met him. He had liked him until he had realised what kind of fascination his brother had for Loki. After that, it had been very difficult to be nice to him anymore. 

 

Now, he wished he could just ignore him, but it was difficult to do so when he could still hear him talking. Gritting his teeth, he thought about challenging someone else to a fight, but then their conversation suddenly caught his attention. 

 

"...watching someone dance.", "You look pretty baffled. What kind of dance?", "It looked quite magical, but I have to say..." but then, the voices got quiet again as they passed the training grounds.

 

Dance? What dance? A magical dance? His heart sank. Who else would Baldr be watching that would dance some sort of magical dance? Turning his head around, he furrowed his brow. His friends seemed to slowly be catching on too, and they all looked at him, probably waiting to see if he would attempt to punch Baldr in the face again, or if he would remain calm. But Thor didn't go after Baldr. His brother wasn't his main priority right now. 

 

"Loki..." Without telling his friends anything, he stood up and hurried away from there, rushing through the castle as he tried to figure out where Loki could have gone to. 

 

****

 

Loki had to be somewhere in the palace, right? Where else would Baldr have seen him? Thor cursed himself and the fact that he had not even bothered to ask Baldr where he had spotted him, but he would prefer not to interact with his little brother at all. Running through the hallways, he finally came to a stop when he noticed what looked like ice covering the doorway to one of the gardens. Tilting his head to the side, he frowned at the ice for a moment before taking off again, running over to the garden. He could still feel what must have been a sense of Seiðr in the air, and he couldn't help but wonder how strong it had been when Loki had been... dancing. Why had he been dancing? Thor realised he would have to ask him about that later, first he would need to find... 

 

He saw him. On the ice that now covered the majority of the grass. Was he all right? He was lying down, and it was impossible to tell from where he was standing. "Loki?" 

 

He ran over, only taking a second to hope that the ice wouldn't break underneath him as he slid down to his knees next to Loki. 

 

"Are you all right?" he asked, moving to put his hands against his neck until he remembered what happened the last time he had done that. Keeping his hands at his sides, he gave Loki a worried look, deciding it would probably be better not to touch him. 

 

After a few moments of complete silence, Loki finally opened his eyes and looked into the sky before turning his head to the side just a little to look at Thor. 

 

"It was my own magic. No one hurt me, I'm just a little tired."

 

Thor let out a relieved sigh when Loki opened his eyes. Thank the gods. Seeing him lying there, not moving... Thor wasn't even entirely sure what he had thought happened, but it had been so scary to see Loki like that. It reminded him of when Loki had been in a coma, and he never wanted to relive those days. It had been absolutely awful, and Thor could still remember how worried he had been. 

 

"Are you sure?" he leaned a bit closer, studying Loki's face, as though he thought he would find some kind of wound or something. 

 

"Yes. I am sure." Loki said and nodded, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

 

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?" 

 

He had to make sure Baldr hadn't touched Loki again. From what he had heard back at the training grounds, it sounded as though he had only watched him, which was of course bad enough, but if he had touched him again... Thor would not hold himself responsible for what he did next. 

 

"Who are you talking about? I was alone. You're the first one that came here ever since I came here a few hours ago."

 

Thor leaned back a little bit and let out another sigh. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Loki. It seemed like he had been having a good moment here all by himself, and he did not wish to ruin this by telling him that Baldr had been watching him. Nevertheless, he couldn't keep it secret from Loki, since he deserved an honest answer to his question. 

 

"I heard Baldr say something about seeing a magical dance. According to him, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen." Thor said bitterly, no trace of joy on his face as he spoke of his younger brother. And it suddenly hit him that once again, Baldr had gotten to experience something before him.

 

He had gotten to see Loki dance before him. Thor kind of felt like punching something. 

 

"This dance is not supposed for people I don't want around me. Why did he watch without asking?!"

 

Thor watched Loki for a few seconds before shaking his head, deciding that one of them needed to remain calm and Loki didn't seem to be now. He would have liked nothing more than to find his brother and throw him into one of the cells in the dungeons for a couple of days, and if he allowed Loki's anger to get to him, he would probably not be able to stop himself. 

 

"I don't know. I don't know, Loki." His brother was showing sides to him that Thor had never thought he would get to see. When he had first met him, he had seemed like such a nice, pleasant person to be around, but he had obviously misjudged him. 

 

Loki looked down and clenched his teeth. He didn't know what to do anymore. "If we were still in Jötunheimr, Laufey would've cut out his eyes for doing that."

 

 

Thor thought that cutting someone's eyes out was perhaps a bit extreme, but Baldr definitely deserved to be punished for everything he had done to Loki. It was obvious that he was still not seeing the error of his ways, and Thor wondered what it would take for him to understand that he could not treat Loki as some kind of animal. What had their father even said to him? Odin had told Thor that he was going to talk to Baldr, but obviously whatever he had said had not worked. Thor thought that maybe he would have to do something again. Hitting Baldr again seemed tempting, but he would at the very least try to speak to him first. Hopefully he would somehow be able to get through to him. 

 

"I thought he would have understood my warning when I beat him up, but it seems as though he is still not listening to me. I do not want him anywhere near you." 

 

"It seems as you don't want anywhere near me either so why do you even bother?"

 

Thor frowned, and he slowly tilted his head to the side. "What are you talking about?" he asked. 

 

"Do you think I didn't notice?" Loki replied. "When I was talking with my brothers... When I said... that I would eventually go back to Jötunheimr one day. I saw the way your expression changed." he started, still looking at the ground. "I've read about this many times. You're going to tell me that you don't want me anymore if I decide that I'll go back."

 

Thor's frown deepened when he listened to Loki's explanation. That's what he thought? He thought Thor did not want him anymore? That was so far from the truth. In fact, it was quite the opposite of the truth. Shaking his head, Thor took a chance and put his hands against Loki's cheeks, locking their eyes together. 

 

"I do want you, Loki. I would never tell you otherwise, because I would be lying. I want you more than anything, but..." he paused, pressing their lips together for a moment as he thought about how to put this but he could feel that Loki didn't return the kiss so he pulled away again. "I am not sure if we could be together if you decided to be king of Jötunheimr. You would be living there, and I would be living here. That is no relationship. I love you too much to only see you once in a while whenever we would find the time."

 

"It's a rule of our kingdom. I don't want to leave you but I _have to_. It's not my fault! You knew that from the beginning so why did you think making me fall in love with you was a good idea?!" he almost yelled, pulling his head away from Thor's gentle grip.

 

Thor tried not to show how hurt he was when Loki pulled his head away from him once again. He still did not understand. No matter what he said, it seemed as though Loki simply did not understand what he was trying to tell him. But, all he could do was to try again. 

 

"Loki..." He cupped Loki's chin and brought their eyes back together. "You need to listen to me. I am not blaming this on you. I understand why you have to leave, and I am not trying to stand in your way. You have your kingdom, just as I have mine. We're both making sacrifices for the sakes of our realms." 

 

He could have chosen to go to Jotunheim with Loki, but he wasn't, because he knew what kind of responsibilities he had, and he did not wish to leave his friends or his family. How could he expect any differently from Loki? 

 

"Perhaps you are right," he said quietly, letting his hand fall. "Perhaps I should have been more careful, but I did not make you fall in love with me. I cast no spell on you, I did nothing to force any emotions from you. And I fell for you long before I thought that our respective duties would become a problem."

 

"So you just throw away what we started so easily? If that is the case, then do not touch me again." Loki stated and stood up, taking a step back. "You were the only reason I even am in this realm."

 

Thor gave Loki a look of pure disbelief as he watched him stand up, not entirely sure if he had just heard correctly. 

 

"Easy?" he repeated, pushing himself up from the ground. "You think this is easy for me? Don't you dare. Don't you dare try to make it seem like I am throwing our love away." 

 

He could barely believe what he was hearing. Granted, they had had some misunderstandings in the past, but never anything like this. How could Loki accuse him of throwing their love away? How could he think Thor wanted any of this, when Thor had been the first one to fall in love with Loki? He had been the one to tell his father and the council that he would give up the throne for Loki. How could he think it would be so easy for him to simply stop caring? 

 

"What else would you suggest, Loki? Do you really think it would work to have you being king of Jötunheimr, and me being king of Ásgarðr?"

 

 

There was a long moment of silence where Loki just remained in his position, simply staring at Thor with big eyes. "Yes." he finally answered and looked up again. "Yes I thought it would work. You said you love me and I told you the same. Every time I think about you I just- my heart starts beating so fast and I'm just so happy." he explained and pressed his lips together for a few seconds. "I thought our love was enough. I thought it was strong enough."

 

With a sigh, Thor closed his eyes for a few seconds, before opening them again and taking a couple of steps closer to Loki. 

 

"I do love you, Loki. I love you more than you know. What I told my father is still true. I want to be with you, more than anything, but... You have to realise how difficult this would be. We would both have duties to attend to. We would be able to see each other... perhaps a few times a month, if we are lucky. And then what if we wanted to have children? Where would they live? You cannot expect me to like the fact that I would possibly only be seeing my own children a few times a month." 

 

It just seemed so complicated for the two of them to stay in different realms. Of course he didn't want to give Loki up. He couldn't imagine being married to anyone else, he could not imagine having anyone else on the throne with him, but... It was so hard. Thor hated the fact that this was even an issue. If only Laufey had been a good king, then this would not have been a problem. 

 

"Stop telling me that you don't want to keep this going. You already told me, I don't need to hear it in so many different versions. I get it okay?!" he replied and took a step back when Thor took one forward. "I need to be alone now. Don't follow me." he added and with a flick of his wrist, the ice underneath Thor's feet started to melt.

 

Thor sighed when Loki told him that he needed to be alone again. So this was it, then? They would not be spending any more time together. If that was the case, then it was fine with- 

 

Suddenly, there was no ice beneath his feet anymore, and he could feel himself falling down without being able to do anything to stop it. Thor hadn't even realised that they had been standing on the frozen pond the entire time. But now that the ice beneath him melted, there was a loud splash as Thor fell into the water without further warning. It was such a surprise to him, it took him a couple of seconds before he managed to get back up again, coughing and struggling to get out of the water. And when he managed to do that - Loki was already gone.

 

He couldn't believe Loki had done that. He was practically seething with rage, and he barely even noticed that the sky had grown dark in a matter of moments. His entire body shaking from the cold water. It was not only cold - it was almost freezing and his entire skin was burning from the cold. Thor lay there for about a minute, still somewhat in shock, before he slowly made his way inside. Two servants almost immediately caught sight of him, and hurried over to make sure he was all right. Thor nodded his head and told them he was fine, but that he would like a fire lit in his room in order to get warm as soon as possible. They both bowed their heads and hurried over to his chambers, and by the time Thor got there, there was indeed a fire in the fireplace. Walking inside, he closed the door behind him and moved to get out of his wet clothes, cursing quite a few times as he did. 

 

****

 

Just as he had removed all of his wet clothes back in his room and thrown them into a corner, there was a knock on the door. It wasn't Loki, was it? No, he wouldn't come looking for him so soon. In fact, Thor wasn't sure if he would even come looking for him at all. It was funny that Loki had been the one to accuse him of not wanting to spend time with him, when Loki was the one who seemed to be walking away all the time. If it wasn't Loki knocking on his door, who was it? His mother, perhaps? Or a servant wanting to know if he was comfortable. He just hoped it wasn't Baldr, because then he would not hesitate to punch him. Not that Baldr had a reason to knock on his door. Putting on a pair of trousers, he hurried over to the door and opened it, only to find Sif standing outside. He suddenly wished he would have put on a tunic as well. 

 

"Sif. What are you doing here?" he asked her, and she gave him a soft smile. 

 

"There seems to be a storm gathering outside, and I wanted to make sure you were all right. I could come back later, if you want." 

 

Thor shook his head. "No, it's fine." He stepped aside to let her inside. 

 

Thor stayed somewhat awkwardly by the door as Sif moved inside and sat down on his bed. Okay. Now what? Was he supposed to put on a tunic? Was he supposed to tell her that she probably shouldn't sit on his bed? Was he supposed to tell her that his... that Loki could come back at any... Actually, Loki probably wouldn't be back any time soon. Well, at least he did not have to worry about that, but he still didn't know what to do about all of this. Closing the door, Thor took a couple of steps closer to her and gave her a small smile. 

 

"Well?" she said, and Thor felt somewhat stupid for not understanding what she wanted him to say. 

 

"Well, what?" he asked, and she shook her head, giving him a somewhat fond look. 

 

"I came to see if you are all right. you all right?" 

 

Was he? Thor thought about it for a moment. No, not really. He had just had a pretty bad fight with Loki, and now he wasn't sure if he would ever get to hold him in his arms again. No, he wasn't all right. Quite far from it, actually. 

 

 

"No,", he said taking a few steps closer to her. "We had a fight. A bad one. I don't..." 

 

He looked away from her, letting out a heavy sigh. "I don't know if this is going to work. It does not look like it will. Most likely, he will be going back to Jötunheimr." 

 

 

Sif looked a bit surprised, but quickly recomposed herself and gave him an understanding look. "And you will not be following him?" 

 

Thor shook his head. "No, I won't. I will be staying here."

 

Thor figured he would have to be careful with this. He didn't want to give Sif any false hope. Even though he would probably be losing Loki, even though he would probably have to find someone else to marry, he still thought she deserved someone better than him. She deserved someone who loved her more than anything else, and that just wasn't Thor. He had feelings for her, yes. There was a definite attraction there, and if Loki had not been a part of his life, he could probably have grown to love her even more, but... It wasn't enough. No matter how much he loved her and cared about her, he would never be able to stop thinking about Loki. 

 

 

He was the love of his life, Thor did not doubt that in the slightest, and to make Sif believe that she could ever come first would be nothing short of cruel. 

 

"Does this mean you will have to find someone else to marry?" she asked, and Thor moved over to the bed, sitting down next to her. 

 

 

The thought did strike him that he really should have put on that tunic first, but this seemed more important. He would tell her this, and then he would move to put a new tunic on. 

 

"Sif," he said, taking her hand in his. "My dear Sif. I know what you are asking of me, and I hope you remember what I told you before. You deserve much better than me." 

 

She tried to protest, but he put a hand up and shook his head. "Truly, Sif. You need to find someone that can love you in all the ways I cannot. I care for you, you know I do, and perhaps if things had been different, you and I could have gotten married, but I do not wish to make you feel like you are my second choice. I fear you would grow to resent me one day, and I cannot stand the thought of that." 

 

Her eyes were getting shiny in the warm light of the fireplace, and Thor reached up to brush her cheek for a moment. "I will always care about you, and I hope you will remain my friend." 

 

Sif nodded her head. "Of course," she agreed. "Always." 

 

Thor gave her a soft smile. "You do not know how happy that makes-" He was interrupted by the sound of a door being opened and closed again. Thor didn't have any time to see who it was. When he looked up, there was no one. Someone apparently wanted to enter, but left again when that someone saw Sif and him sitting like this. 

 

 

"Loki?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some smut happens.

The moment Loki's eyes fell on the two people sitting on the bed, he left Thor's bedchamber again. He certainly didn't want to see _that_. Granted, he hadn't been exceptionally nice to Thor during the last days - but things had been really difficult so who could blame him? Then again he couldn't blame Thor either, considering their fight yesterday had lead them to a most unfortunate situation between them. 

 

"Loki, please, stop!" Thor called and Loki stopped the moment Thor ran past him to stand in front of him, blocking his way. Loki stopped and even took a step backwards so he could bring a little more distance between them again. 

 

"You don't have to apologise. I don't blame you for this." He then said and took a deep breath. "I know I haven't been particularly nice to you, so... I don't know why I thought I could just come back and..." Loki stopped and breathed out. This wouldn't lead them anywhere so he didn't see a point in continuing this conversation.

 

"Do you truly think I would run into the arms of someone else so soon after losing you?" Thor asked, tilting his head to the side. "Sif was simply there to comfort me. It was an... unfortunate choice for me not to put on a tunic, but I was simply too surprised to see her there. I promise you, nothing happened. I could never do something like that to you." 

 

"I know that she likes you, Thor. And I know that you like her too. I heard your friends talking about it on the training grounds. Just a few sentences but... it was enough. It's easier with her, isn't it?" 

 

He thought he would be able to make Thor stop looking at her like that. He'd seen the light spark in his eyes during their fight. There had been something different and Loki felt himself being jealous back then. Sif was neither a Frost Giant, nor was she living in a different realm. And she was strong and Loki was sure that everyone would approve of her. After all she was a warrior and she seemed to be quite famous already. It was understandable that she seemed to be in everyone's favour. 

 

"You're right," Thor said calmly. "It is easier with her. She is an Asgardian, and she is already well-liked. Also, she hasn't made me fall in the ice cold water any time recently." There was a hint of a smile on Thor's lips as Loki looked up, "But none of those things matter. That is what I was just telling her, that I could never love her the way she deserves to be loved. Maybe if I had never met you, she would have been my queen, but I did meet you, and I know that I would never be able to stop thinking about you long enough to be happy with her." Reaching out, he very carefully took Loki's hand in his. "You have my heart, Loki. I could never truly give it to anyone else. I am _yours_ , always, no matter what happens."

 

Loki remained silent after those words, struggling to find the right words. How should he start? And why did he start to get nervous now? He already thought about it but didn't know that telling himself and telling Thor made such a difference. Maybe thinking about it too much would just make things worse so Loki decided to try and just go ahead and say it the way the words would come out of his mouth if he'd just improvise. 

 

"I will do it." he then started, keeping their eyes locked. "I will repudiate my birthright and give off the throne to Byleistr. He will become the next king and I-" what would he be then? He was no longer a Laufeyson. He wouldn't be king and he wouldn't be the prince either after this. He would be nothing, just Loki, after doing this. "-I will stay here." he explained, surprised at how firm and steady his voice was.

 

"Loki..." He shook his head. "Are you sure? I don't want you to give up the throne for me unless you are absolutely certain. You deserve to be king of Jötunheimr, and I know you would be an amazing ruler."

 

"I know. But one of us has to give up the throne. I understand that you don't want to leave Ásgarðr behind. So I'll leave Jötunheimr behind instead." 

 

Of course he couldn't tell for sure that he wouldn't regret it one day. No one knew if anyone would regret what they were doing just now so Loki tried not to think about it because right in this moment, he couldn't find himself regretting it. He was sad - yes. But he didn't regret it. 

 

Much to Loki's surprise, Thor put his hands against Loki's cheeks and leaned forward, pressing a firm kiss to his lips before pulling away again. "I hope you know you will have an important role here in Ásgarðr as well. I do not know what they will call you, but I firmly expect you to rule by my side. I will trust your advice, and you will always have a say in my decisions. And should I ever have to leave Ásgarðr, I will make sure you are allowed to rule in my stead."

 

"I know." He said anyway and let out a deep breath, leaning his head into Thor's touch. It still felt weird after their huge fight. It was almost as if it never happened but they both knew what they'd done and said to each other and Loki was not sure what to do or say now. Usually he would've just sent the one he disagreed with away but he couldn't do that now. Did Thor forgive him for what he did? Was he still mad? It was difficult to believe that he would just forget about it.

****

"Have I ever told you how much I love your hair? I love how dark it is." Thor suddenly said while he was combing his hand through Loki's long hair.

 

"Really?" Loki asked with a tired smile, raising one of his hands to carefully put it on top of Thor's slightly prominent hipbone he could reach from where he was lying in Thor's lap, moving his thumb over it to caress him through the tunic slowly. "There are many people with dark hair." Loki replied, looking down again to where his own hand was caressing Thor. 

 

"Not here." Thor replied with a warm smile. 

 

"I feel lucky. I was mean and you still like me."

 

"It would take a lot more than that to make me stop liking you. I am not going to stop liking you simply because we have a fight, Loki."

 

"I didn't know it works that way." Loki whispered in a response, closing his eyes slowly. He'd been lying like this for quite some time already after Thor had asked if he could touch his hair. Loki was still not used to being touched already after all. But he was starting to enjoy it. Though now... he was getting tired. Loki could feel that he was slowly dozing off. 

 

But he didn't want to doze off. Not yet.

 

"Thor?"

 

"Hm...?"

 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did the other day. You know... letting you fall into that water. I shouldn't have done that, the water was way too cold for you."

 

"Your apology is accepted, Loki. It was a mistake. You did something because you were angry, and you now realise that what you did was wrong. It is all right. Hopefully, you won't do it again, though from now on, I'll probably be a lot more cautious when you are angry. I've learned not to stand on ice while we are fighting." He gave him another soft smile, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his lips. "And I am sorry too. I should have realised that you needed some time apart. I was being too intrusive."

 

"It's okay." he replied and smiled, returning the kiss even if it was very short.

 

They both made mistakes and they apologised for this. Loki was glad that it was okay now and that they would move on for now. Preferably without having any fights in the future. But then again - they were both short-tempered sometimes so disagreements were probably there sometimes. Though as soon it wouldn't escalate Loki was confident that they wouldn't end up like they did yesterday. 

 

"I love it when you do that." Loki then said after a short moment of silence. "You know, cupping my neck or jaw to pull me within your reach for a kiss." He added a bit more quiet as he smiled at him.

 

"Well, I shall have to make sure to do it more often," Thor answered, leaning closer and - with his hand still on Loki's chin - pressing their lips together for a longer kiss this time. As they kissed, he moved his hand to the back of Loki's neck, the tips of his fingers touching Loki's hair and lifting him up from his lap a little bit. 

 

But after a while, Loki pulled back again, letting out a chuckle against Thor's lips. 

 

"I think that was a good start." he said, grinning widely at him.

 

"It certainly was..." Thor agreed and brushed his thumb slowly against Loki's nape. "I think _this_ is a good start."

 

"I think you are right." Loki replied. There was no need to rush at all and they had all the time in the worlds. Loki sighed and then wrapped his arms around Thor tightly, resting his head against his shoulder, nuzzling into his warm neck where he could even feel his pulse against the bridge of his nose. He was sure that he would miss Jötunheimr but then again - no one would forbid him to stop visiting his realm. He was free to go there and visit it whenever he wanted to. It was still an important part in his life and it would always be one - as well as in the life of their future children. Loki wanted them to grow up here but he wanted them to get to know his realm as well. After all it would be a part of them as well. Smiling, Loki pushed those thoughts away, knowing this would be the far future.

 

"I love you." Thor whispered, his own arms now firmly wrapped around Loki's back, gently placing a soft kiss close to Loki's ear. "I love you so much, Loki."

 

"I love you too." Loki whispered as well, feeling goose bumps on his skin because of the warm breath on his ear and the following kiss and it made him tremble so that he tilted his head to the side a bit, licking his lower lip. He couldn't put it in words what hearing those words from Thor did to him which was why Love decided to give him yet another, more passionate kiss after pulling back just a little so he could reach him properly.

 

Thor immediately responded to that and his hands wandered, one held onto his waist firmly while he used his other hand to navigate Loki's neck, positioning him so his head was more angled and then, Thor pushed his tongue past Loki's lips, leading Loki to part his lips without any hesitation, nibbling at Thor's lower lip carefully. It was still something new but Loki was definitely getting more and more comfortable with these things. 

 

Thor's groan definitely assured him that he was doing this the right way and Loki was definitely encouraged to continue. He licked Thor's lower lip afterwards very gently, sucking it in a little bit. It was exciting, thrilling and Loki felt his heartbeat going faster already - much faster actually. It didn't take long though until he suddenly felt Thor's hand moving. He felt him moving down from his waist, felt the warmth of his hand moving over his hip and to his thigh. He touched him through his tunic first but then when he stopped, Thor's hand was on his bare skin. 

 

Even if it happened without a warning, Loki didn't flinch backwards. He let him touch him there, his own fingertips lightly digging into Thor's neck when he continued their kiss. He took a deep breath through his nose, letting out a light groan into the kiss and continued to kiss him for a while longer, moving his tongue to explore Thor's mouth before he pulled back when he felt the need for air. He broke their kiss but remained close to him anyway, letting out a happy chuckle when he opened his eyes to look at him. Moving one hand down to put it on top of Thor's, he smiled. "That was... thrilling."

 

"It certainly was." Thor gave Loki a smile, letting out a heavy breath. "In a good way, I hope?" 

 

"Yes. In a good way." Loki replied, returning the smile fondly. He pressed a soft kiss to Thor's nose, still smiling at him when he pulled back again and sat down, still not pushing Thor's hand away. "It's a little... strange though." He admitted. "I'm a little scared of all of that. Or rather completely nervous. But at the same time I want you to kiss me all the time and everywhere. I'll try and open up a bit more because I don't want you to think you have to guide me through all of this." Loki knew it would help him a lot. And he knew he would feel much safer if Thor would guide him, but he also didn't want him to do all the work.

 

"I am more than happy to guide you, if that is what you need. We can do this together. We'll guide each other." 

 

"...Okay." Loki whispered, kissing him once again. Thor was right, they would do this together. They would explore everything together and Loki was already looking forward to this. And he wasn't just speaking of touching, kissing and getting intimate. He also meant their relationship itself. Getting to know each other perfectly, getting to know the quirks of the other one. Experiencing everything together - like the feasts. Or dancing. Anything basically. 

 

"Oh!" Loki remembered that there was still something he had to tell Thor. "I... you remember the day when I came back and smelled of mead?" He was sure he could. After all they'd had a pretty big fight that day. 

 

"Yes."

 

"I attended a feast at the market and disguised myself as an Æsir." 

 

"...And no one recognised you?"

 

"No one recognised me. But I found out that shapeshifting affects my body as well. The drink didn't affect me until I turned back. I didn't know that. In this moment it was not very funny but now that I think about it... it's pretty interesting." He'd met a wonderful person that day after all and he really hoped he'd see her again- what was her name again...? Sigyn. Yes, Sigyn of Vanaheim.

 

"You won't be trying it again, will you?" Thor asked, frowning lightly at Loki. 

 

"Trying what?"

 

"You won't be disguising yourself again, will you?"

 

If Loki was honest, he was not completely sure. Of course he would like it better if he was liked for the person he really was and not someone else. But it was much easier to just pretend to be someone else. But of course he knew Thor wouldn't approve this. Not at all. 

 

"Only if I have to." He finally replied. He could see that Thor wasn't really positive about this at all so he probably wouldn't do it. And if he would, it would be in an emergency. After all, this was what his magic was for. "But next time I go to the market, I'd love if you'd come with me."

 

"...I would very much like that as well." Thor answered with a nod though Loki felt like there had been something else Thor wanted to tell him but then decided to not tell. 

 

It was good that Thor would come with him next time. He thought he would be mad or angry with him when he would mention the market but apparently everything was fine. 

 

"I'm happy. I know I repeat myself but... I'm happy." Loki said, letting out a sigh afterwards. He looked up and blinked a few times - the sky was already very dark and he figured they should maybe go to sleep soon... though before that he wanted to do something else. "Can I... do you remember how I sat on your lap for a few moments a while ago? Can I try that again? Without causing an awkward moment afterwards of course." He said with a not so confident chuckle. "I don't want to do anything just... embrace you."

 

"Of course Loki. You do not have to ask me for this." Thor answered with a soft smile on his full lips.

 

When Thor allowed him to try this, Loki bit his lower lip, taking a breath before he moved. He brought his leg up and over Thor's legs, straddling his lap. He waited another moment before he actually shifted closer and sat down, being so close to him that his chest was touching Thor's. Without wasting more time, he wrapped his arms around his shoulders to hold him in place very gently, his chin resting on his shoulder and his cheek leaned against Thor's. His heart was beating fast immediately. The feeling of Thor being so utterly close to him - not only close but so _intimate_. It was amazing. It would be different if they'd lie next to each other. Or stand. But he was sitting on his lap and Loki relished this new experience.

 

Thor put his arms around him and pulled him even closer and Loki could hear him letting out a long breath right next to his ear. "This feels nice." Thor whispered.

 

He closed his eyes when Thor hugged him tightly as well and pulled him a little closer so he could swear that there was no space between them anymore. Loki let out a deep breath and smiled widely at Thor's words. His hair and beard tickled lightly while he moved his head a little but Loki didn't mind at all. 

 

"Yes. It does..." he replied softly. He felt a sensation that was familiar. It resembled the feeling he had when he first climbed on his lap. 

 

****

 

The next morning, Loki woke up earlier and took a long, calming bath after cooling the water down until it was suitable for him. The bath was much more pompous than the ones in Jötunheimr. There was so much gold and the columns were adorned with beautiful patterns. Even the ground tiles were forming the triquetra with different colours on the ground and Loki really started to enjoy the love of detail in this realm. Loki looked through the soaps and took the one that smelled like mint and lemon. After he was done with that he toweled himself and grabbed the oil with a bright red, almost pink colour. He couldn't say how it smelled. He didn't know the name of the flower but the painting on the bottle... the flower was red and the caulis had thorns. He rubbed a bit of it to his neck and his arms just so he was smelling like it very subtly and his skin was smooth. He liked to take care of his body and now... not only that. But he now wanted to look and smell good for Thor as well and not only for himself. 

 

Once he was done with that, he put on his dark green tunic which he was sure would turn out to be his favourite, leaving the bathroom afterwards. And when he entered their room again he could already see Thor sitting at the table, with breakfast on the table. A wide smile was spread across his face and his heart was beating fast when he approached him. 

 

"That's quite a nice surprise." Loki said and sat down on the chair next to him.

 

"Isn't it?" Thor agreed, giving Loki a smile and waiting for him to join him at the table. "You look good," he told him once Loki was sitting down next to him, and he leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. "And you smell good too... hm... roses..." he added, moving his head down to sniff at Loki's neck, just barely brushing his lips against his skin. "I am not sure how I am supposed to be able to resist you today." He added and then pulled away again.

 

Loki licked his lips and showed him a smile at his words, hesitating before he said something. "Is... is that a joke again or do you really think I am appealing today?" 

 

Thor chuckled and shook his head. "A little bit of both, I suppose. You really do look gorgeous today. Then again, you look gorgeous every day, and it seems unfair to expect me to keep my hands away from you." He smiled, taking a piece of bread into his hand before looking back at Loki again. "But I am sure I will be able to control myself just fine. I am not some mindless beast, after all. I will be perfectly content just by looking at you."

 

A little bit of both. Loki suppressed a wide smile and looked down for a moment though he could feel that the corners of his mouth twitched up visibly. He felt quite good about what Thor just told him to be honest. He knew Thor wouldn't do anything Loki didn't want him to do so it was alright. But it was a good feeling to know that Thor wanted to touch him anyway. 

 

"You look gorgeous as well." Loki then said with a smile, looking up again. "I enjoy looking at you, too." And yes, he was looking forward to the day when they did take the next step. Though he was sure that they won't rush into it and instead go step by step, maybe one step at a time then and now. Trying new things each day and Loki thought that this was highly exciting. But for now, Loki went back to finishing his breakfast, grabbing one of the large fruits on the table. It was brownish and yellow, oval and it looked like there was a palm tree growing from the top. And it was rather heavy. "What's the name of this?" Loki asked and bit into it, a light pain shooting through the roots of his teeth as they hit the hard surface of the fruit. 

 

"That's a pineapple," Thor said, grabbing one of the grapes and putting it into his mouth. "You may want to be careful. It would be a lot easier to eat if you cut it up into little pieces first."

 

Loki tilted his head a bit and took one of the knifes to cut the pineapple into pieces and cut off the husk before he took one of the pieces into his mouth. It was sweet and surprisingly juicy. And while he continued to eat the pieces he cut, Loki looked at the bowl again, using his free hand to grab another round fruit. At least he knew this one, it was called mango though he never tasted it before. 

 

"This is so great." He commented absently and with a smile on his lips. Loki cut the mango as well and it was just as tasty as the pineapple once he finally tried a piece of it. Loki finished the mango and about half of the pineapple, putting his fingers into his own mouth to lick off the rest of the juice before he wiped them clean with one of the napkins. "I think I could live off of the fruits here."

 

"Are you sure? Wouldn't you miss the sweets? You seemed to like those a lot." Thor pointed out with a smile. 

 

"Maybe... but the fruits themselves are pretty sweet as well." Loki answered and after he was done with his own food, he watched Thor finishing his own breakfast as well. It was indeed nice to just watch him - just as he told him earlier. Smiling while he did so, Loki felt the urge to just go over to him and place a kiss on his lips, but he didn't do it. Not now. There was plenty of time left. And for now they'd just finish breakfast and then go down to the market and Loki was already looking forward to it. He didn't know what would happen but he was convinced that everything would turn out well.

 

When Thor was ready, he stretched himself and stood up. "Are you ready to go to the market today?"

 

"I am." He replied with a smile and stood up from his chair, stretching himself before he grabbed the hair tie he put on his wrist to pull his hair back and out of his face, knowing it would just bother him when they'd finally reach the market. He briefly looked into the mirror again and then turned around to Thor again. Loki could still remember the children and that they weren't looking at him with disgust. They'd been open-minded and kind to him until their parents came closer to pull them away from him. Loki knew it was something they couldn't change in a matter of seconds but he hoped that it would change in time. 

 

And the most important thing was... that he really hoped that he'd find Sigyn today. 

"Let's go." Thor said, holding the door open for Loki. 

 

He led Loki through the hallways, only running into a couple of guards and servants on the way. Thor smiled at all of them, apparently determined to start this day in a good way. They made it to the market only a few moments later, and Loki could already tell that people were staring. It wasn't too surprising, though, as it had been quite some time since they had seen Loki. 

 

"So. Where do you want to go first?" Thor asked, snapping Loki out of his thoughts.

 

"I read that Ásgarðr has jugglers and well.. _magicians_ or so to say. Are they on the market? The book said they play tricks and many people enjoy watching them."

 

"They should be," Thor said, looking around. "I know for a fact I have seen many of them, though I believe they are a bit further along. I could take you to them, if you'd like." He took Loki's hand, leading him past the different stands, where people were selling food, fabrics, and jewellery. 

 

"Here they are," Thor said when they stopped, motioning to the many different jugglers, magicians, and other types of performers. There was a lot of people standing there, watching them, and at this part of the market, they did not seem to be paying as much attention to Loki, probably because they had other things to look at. And Loki didn't care at the moment as well. One of the jugglers in particular had caught his attention and he moved a bit closer to him. He had brown hair and bright green eyes and while he was telling a story, he put on different masks very quick and he even changed his voice. He wasn't entirely sure what the story was about but he made a pause every now and then and the children almost pleaded him to continue and this way, Loki found out that his name was Njörðr and Loki couldn't help but notice that he looked directly at him quite often.

 

Loki waited until the man was finished with his story. There had been a bit spooky moments and those where you just had to laugh and Loki really enjoyed it here. It took him quite a while but once he'd finished his story, the man stood up properly again. 

 

"Alright children, I'm going to see if I can find another story and then we will meet here again!" He announced and slowly, the children walked into different directions whereas the Njörðr came towards Thor and him. So he didn't just imagine it. He had been watching them. Taking a deep breath he stood there and watched him. Everything would be fine. Loki didn't know why he was so nervous but he hoped it would vanish soon. He didn't know what Njörðr wanted so there was no reason to be nervous. 

 

"Greetings." Njörðr said once he stood in front of them, bowing to both of them. "My lord, your highness." He added and smiled, taking off the mask that covered half of his face. He didn't take it off during his play and now Loki could see why. The half that had been covered his face was burned and it really wasn't something one would want to look at during a funny story. Loki felt sorry for him, wondering where he got the scars. "Thor, your highness. If you would be so kind and allow me to show Loki something? That means if he wants to." He asked and Loki frowned a little. Njörðr offered Loki his hand and gave him a warm smile. He looked nice and not like he wanted to harm them. Though he had to admit that he was surprised that he already knew his name.

 

"It is not for me to decide whether or not you are allowed to show him something," Thor said. "If Loki wishes to find out what it is, then he is free to do so."

 

Loki waited for Thor's answer and then looked at Njörðr again who still held his hand out for Loki to put his own hand into it. Loki still didn't want anyone else to touch him but he'd seen many others just barely holding the other one's hand if they wanted to lead them somewhere. 

 

"Only if Thor can come with us." Loki answered and the performer let out a chuckle, nodding. 

 

"Of course, he can come with us if he wants to." He replied and Loki waited another few moments before he carefully reached out and put his hand in the other ones. 

 

Njörðr wasn't grabbing it, he was just barely curling his fingers a bit to lead the way. They walked towards a large tent and when they entered it smelled of incense sticks and acrylic paint. "Skaði, look. I'd like you to meet someone." He said and let go of Loki's hand. 

 

The woman he meant had blonde hair and blue eyes. She was really beautiful and her tanned skin looked like she was working outside very often. There were scars on her hands and wrists. Some of his fingers and a bit of her face had remains of acrylic colours and Loki figured they came from making costumes and graving and colouring those masks. 

 

"Oh by the Norns..." she whispered and put a hand over her mouth. She walked towards them and bowed as well. "I never even dreamed of meeting you, though I really hoped I would." She added which confused Loki even more. 

 

"I... I don't think I'm sure why-" Loki wanted to ask.

 

"We're going to explain." Njörðr interrupted Loki and walked over to the woman who was obviously his wife because he kissed her on her lips lovingly before both looked at them again. 

 

"When we heard the rumors that the prince of Jötunheimr will be yours my lord..." Njörðr then said, addressing Thor before he looked at his wife again. "...we were excited to be honest, because-" he added but Skaði stepped forward and silenced him with that. 

"I'm a Frost Giant as well." she said.

 

Thor put his arms around Loki, holding him close and Loki was a bit more relaxed when he felt the warmth of Thor's hand radiating through his tunic, assuring him that he was there to hold him even if there was no reason to worry about anything right now. 

 

"You are?" Thor asked and glanced over at Loki, before looking back at her again. "Forgive me, my lady, but you do not look Jötun."

 

Skaði laughed and smiled at Thor when he said she didn't look like one. Though Loki had to agree. She looked like an Æsir. 

 

"I bet Loki can look like someone else if he wants to as well." She commented with a wink and Loki blinked a bit irritated at the wink, shaking his head briefly. 

 

"You're a shapeshifter as well?" Loki asked blatantly but she shook her head. 

 

"Unfortunately I am not. I'm an illusionist. I can change my appearance for the eyes of someone else, but it's not the same. As soon as my concentration is disturbed, the illusion falls. And I can't keep it up for a very long time. A few hours a day at its best." She explained, breathing out deeply. And while doing so, a bright blue shimmer surrounded her and her skin fell, revealing blue skin instead. Markings on her skin, red eyes and two large horns. Njörðr still held her hand firmly, brushing his thumb over the palm of her hand. "My parents feared I was an abomination so they sent me away as soon as they noticed I wasn't growing anymore." She continued. 

 

This confused him even more. Loki knew there hadn't been a magician in many years. And he never heard about another Frost Giant who was as small as himself. "I ended up here many, many years  
ago and met Njörðr when we were still children. I haven't left his side ever since." 

 

"And you are hoping that me choosing Loki to be by my side will mean you won't have to hide anymore?" Thor asked and he sounded just as irritated as Loki was.

 

"Yes, we're hoping that it will help to accept the Frost Giants again. Laufey caused a lot of damage." She answered honestly. 

 

"Why are you so small as well?" Loki brought in, still not really believing what she just said. 

 

"I don't know. But until I heard about you, I thought I was the only one. Maybe there are others like us..." Skaði sighed. 

 

"Would you like to stay and eat with us? I have to go out and tell another few stories but you're welcome to dine with us in the evening and then we can talk." Njörðr suggested after a short pause and Loki nodded. "Yes, that would be nice." He answered and looked at Thor for approval, happy to see that he nodded. 

 

"Definitely." Thor agreed. "We would both be honoured to stay here with you."

 

"Wonderful." Skaði said when both Thor and Loki agreed to her offer. Yes Loki felt quite honoured as well and he was really looking forward to talk to them tonight. 

 

"We will come back in the evening then." Loki added and grabbed Thor's hand again and after another nod towards them, he left the tent again together with Thor. Once they were outside the music was loud again and the strong scent from inside was replaced with an even stronger mixture of many other scents. 

 

"That was quite a surprise... I still can't believe it." Loki said, turning his head to look at him with a smile on his lips. He was really happy that there were others like them. He was definitely looking forward to finding out more about all this. And now that they knew Loki felt it was even more important to make Ásgarðr accept him here. He wanted to make it easier for everyone and hoped it would work out. "Did you hear what he said?" Loki asked shortly after and took a few steps closer to him, trying to ignore the fact that they were surrounded by people. But he figured the majority of them was busy looking at the performers anyway. "He said... _after they heard that the prince of Jötunheimr will be yours_." he let out a chuckle. "I won't _be_. I already am." And with that Loki leaned towards him, reaching up with his free hand to gently put it on Thor's cheek as he brought their lips together.

 

Thor quickly put his arms around his waist, holding him in place as they moved their lips together and he returned the kiss what Loki already considered as passionate, making him ease into his embrace, combing his hand through his soft hair until he heard something that sounded like _Don't look_ and... _Disgusting_. 

 

Before he could stop the kiss, Thor had already done it himself. "Excuse me? And what, may I ask, is it that you find disgusting?" Thor growled, looking at one of the men who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. 

 

"What the two of you were just doing." 

 

Thor glanced over at Loki, putting a protective arm around his back. "It was only a kiss. A simple display of affection. How could that possibly be disgusting? Let me ask you, if you and your wife had been kissing out here on the street, do you think anyone would have found it disgusting?" 

 

The man looked around at the rest of the people before answering. "No, of course not. But that is entirely different."

 

Loki leaned against him when he felt Thor's arm around him. He was so caught in the kiss that he didn't even realise the people were looking and talking until Thor pulled back and turned his head. Loki pressed his lips together a bit nervously. He wanted to protest but it seemed as if the man who just spoke up was not the only one who thought this way about them. Why was it so bad? There was nothing wrong with them and it was clearly not their business who Thor fell in love with so why did they make such a big deal about it? Sure, Thor was their crown prince but shouldn't this actually be one reason more for them to support him? They should respect their prince, not judge his personal decisions. 

 

"That runt shouldn't be at your side. There's only one place he belongs where they could teach him where his place is." the man continued. 

Now that he heard how they spoke of Frost Giants, Loki could understand why Skaði preferred to remain hidden. There were only a few ones who accepted them so it was no surprise that she didn't want to be seen. Loki could understand it. The feeling he got by listening to them was definitely not a pleasant one. And because he was here, Thor would get all of it too it seemed which made him feel even worse about it. 

 

"Have a care how you speak," Thor told him, taking a small step forward, but still making sure to keep his arm around Loki. "You are addressing the future rulers of Ásgarðr. It would do you well to think before you open your mouth!" 

 

The man did not look any less angry. If anything a lot of them looked even angrier once they realised what he had just said. For them, the thought of Loki ruling side by side with Thor was not a particularly good one. 

 

"Do you really believe we would tolerate a Frost Giant by our king's side?" The man said. "He has clearly blinded you, my prince." The man shook his head, and spared Loki a quick glance. "He does not belong here." 

 

Thor gave the man a cold look. "You are aware that I grew up in Jötunheimr, yes? I spent my young years believing I was one of them. What makes you think _I_ belong here? He has suffered by Laufey's hand just as much as I have. Loki cannot be blamed for his father's actions. He deserves your respect - nothing less."

 

Loki tried to stop himself from it but he found himself being hurt by those words anyway. They blamed him for things Laufey did and they seemed to be stubborn enough to just believe what they want to believe without listening to someone. 

 

"You may have lived in Jötunheimr but you were never one of them! You are the prince of Ásgarðr and Laufey took you from us. This was not your fault my prince." The man argued with a shrug. "Whereas Loki apparently never tried anything to stop Laufey. I bet he's never even seen a real fight and-" he continued but was interrupted all of a sudden because a woman stepped forward and literally slapped him right across his face with such a force that the man stumbled to the side. 

 

"Never seen a fight? Look at him! Does this look like he's never been physically hurt before?!" She yelled. The woman had wonderful long, red hair, bright green eyes and subtle freckles, soft and full lips. And as soon as he saw her Loki realised it was Sigyn. His heart dropped and he held his breath for a moment. The man looked utterly startled and his jaw dropped open at her words. 

 

"How can _anyone_ of you say such things when he suffered under Laufey as much as we did?! If our prince Thor says he is different we should believe him! If he is clearly happy with him by his side than everyone should encourage him and be happy for him!!" Sigyn yelled and looked around. No one said anything. They just looked at the three of them and then to the ground. Loki could swear that they looked like they felt utterly guilty. 

 

The man who'd been slapped by Sigyn broke the sudden silence and stepped forward to her and hauled off. "How dare you?!" He hissed and was already about to hit her when Loki felt himself moving without really intending to. He stepped between them and caught his hand just in the right moment to stop him. 

 

"No, how dare _you_?!" Loki asked with a deep frown. The man was obviously startled because Loki managed to hold his wrist firmly without any effort. "How dare you wanting to hit a woman?"

 

"She deserves it! She hit me first!" He argued but before Loki could say anything he used his free hand to hit Loki with his fist instead. He was so surprised that he didn't even realise it until he felt a pain on the bridge of his nose. His head snapped back and the man took a step forward, pushing Loki over and to the ground, himself on top of him while he hit him again. The pain was strong and as another blow hit his face, Loki already expected a fourth blow but then- there was a loud cry from the man and Loki had barely time to see how the man was pulled back and off of him by his collar - Thor. There was a look of sheer horror in the man's face as Thor hauled him to the ground - but instead of hitting him, he just placed Mjölnir on top of his chest, stripping him of the ability to move and letting him fidgeting uselessly on the ground. 

 

Then, Thor turned around to look at Loki, his expression softening immediately. He bent down, putting a hand against Loki's cheek. 

 

"Are you all right...?" Thor asked softly. 

 

Loki pushed himself up and groaned quietly. "It's okay." He said with a nod. "Are you?" He continued and Thor gave him a short nod, pulling Loki up with him. The other people around them apparently couldn't decide whether to stay and watch or pretend to not care about the scenery in front of them...

 

"Thank you..." Sigyn said, obviously utterly relieved when she stepped forward, a little closer to them. 

 

"Thank _you_ for defending us. It's not... I didn't think that anyone would do this." Loki replied and gave her a genuine smile. She tilted her head to the side and chuckled a bit. 

 

"For you always, _Serrure_." Sigyn said and Loki's face fell.

 

"What?"

 

"Do you think I can't recognise faces just because you had a different skin colour?" She replied and Loki somehow felt... a little bad that he didn't tell her. But now... he figured he might as well tell Thor about her. 

 

"Thor... this is Sigyn. She was the one I shared a drink with at the market." Loki explained and smiled. Sigyn bowed deeply to Thor after Loki introduced them. 

 

"It is an honour to meet you my prince."

 

After she had bowed, Thor took her hand in his and made a small bow himself, briefly pressing his lips to her hand. "My lady." Letting her go, he straightened back up again. "Thank you for defending us. Not many people would have done what you did," he said, and glanced over at the man still lying on the ground. 

 

"It was my pleasure. Many people in Ásgarðr think that Loki enchanted you. This is why they don't listen to your words. I hope they will find out that is not true." She pointed out, arms crossed in front of her chest. 

 

Loki gave her a nod and then looked around again. The people were still staring at them and he was not sure what was going on through their minds. But he was almost sure that the looks in their eyes had changed. Nevertheles, Loki felt himself getting nervous. He took a few steps over to Thor again and immediately put an arm around him, holding onto the fabric of his tunic tightly. "Thor, can we go please?"

 

Again, Thor immediately put a protective arm around his waist again, nodding his head at his words. "Of course," He said, cupping Loki's chin and tilting his own head down so that he could look him in the eyes. "Do you still want to go back and have dinner with Skaði and Njörðr?"

 

As soon as Loki's eyes met Thor's, he felt himself calming down again. It was frustrating and Loki didn't know what he had to do to make them like him. Or at least earn their respect. It was enough to have their respect put the way it was now - Loki had no idea what he had to do. He turned against his own father to help Thor protect Ásgarðr but neither of them knew about it. He turned against his own blood, turned his back to his home. What else did he have to do? 

 

"No. Tomorrow or... at the weekend. But not today." He replied. He had already looked forward to have dinner with them but not after what just happened here. He needed a break. Hearing what they all thought about him was not only hurtful, but more exhausting than he thought. "Can you tell them that we will come back another day?"

 

And of course Thor nodded. They told Sigyn goodbye and made sure that all three of them knew that they would definitely see each other again before they left and told Skaði that they would meet up later. She was a little bit disappointed but was pleased that they would have dinner some other day anyway. Then, Thor and Loki returned to the palace and Thor only then took Mjölnir away from the whining man on the ground, leading them back to their chambers in complete silence while Loki held onto Thor tightly. 

 

Luckily, the silence that fell around them as soon as the door to their chambers were closed again calmed Loki down. 

 

"I'm sorry, Loki," Thor said without any hesitation. "You should be treated with a lot more respect than that. They have no right to speak to you that way, Frost Giant or not. Though I am hoping that perhaps today was a step closer to the people of Ásgarðr realising that you are not as bad as they have been trying to make you come across."

 

"You don't have to apologise Thor, it's not your fault that they think about me like this." Loki replied with a sigh and gave him a weak smile. It was not Thor's fault. Really. So there was no reason why he should apologise to him. "Let's lie down for a moment until we do something else, okay?" He then asked, taking Thor's hand. There was actually much to do and to explore, but he really wanted to lie down and rest for a moment. 

 

Nodding his head, Thor pressed a quick kiss to Loki's hand before pulling him over to the bed, making sure they were both lying close to each other by pulling Loki in for a gentle embrace. Loki leaned closer so their foreheads were pressed together and let out a deep breath. This was way better. Not that he wanted to spend the rest of his life locked up with him... but he was glad that there was a place where they could be for themselves. Though he really hoped that it wouldn't take long until he could go outside without having everyone looking at him with disgust. And Thor as well. He didn't want anyone to judge him because they showed each other affection in front of others. He believed that it was hard for Thor as well and he would do anything to make it stop. 

 

"Do you think we can go somewhere with the horses after we rested? I haven't been on one since..." he started and thought about it for a moment. "Since we took them out last time in Jötunheimr for your training." It's been really long and he'd love to do this again, realising that he really missed it.  
But for now he was happy to just be here with him. They weren't even touching each other but the fact that he could feel Thor's breath on his skin sent a shiver down his spine and he simply loved being here with him.

 

"Of course," Thor agreed, nodding his head at Loki's question. "Anything you want." He gave him a soft smile, brushing his fingers against his blue cheek. 

 

Loki closed his eyes when Thor caressed his cheek again. He smiled and licked his lips absently. Yes, this was definitely better. He loved Thor's presence and it always managed to calm him down even if Loki wasn't sure how he did it. It was the same back then when he came to Ásgarðr for the first time, sent out by Laufey to kill him and his father. He'd been so angry with everyone and only Thor managed to actually calm him down with a few words. Loki didn't know how he did it. He didn't even have any memories of him back then and yet... he had this calming influence on him. And he still did. Letting out a soft sigh, Loki felt his own heartbeat going faster at the thought.  
Thor's hand on his cheek was so soft and warm. Loki opened his eyes again, leaning closer so their foreheads touched each other again. "I love you Thor." he replied. 

 

"I love you too." Thor replied, gently kissing Loki again, pulling back a few seconds later again, his hand moving across Loki's back carefully.

 

Thor was everything he had here. He was the reason he remained in Ásgarðr and he didn't want to spend a single day without him. They grew closer each day and Loki wanted to know everything about him so that he would know him by heart one day. That they would understand each other without words. And that they not only knew every habit of each other - but also what they enjoyed and didn't like.

 

Speaking of this... Loki could still remember what Thor told him a few days ago. That he should maybe explore himself first before they explored each other and that he was allowed to think about Thor. But why thinking about him when he was right there and he could look at him? This would work better than using his imagination, wasn't it? Still looking into Thor's eyes, Loki let one hand wander down his own stomach very slowly. Goosebumps appeared all over his skin and he held his breath as soon as he let it slide between his legs through the thin fabric of his tunic. He let out a small gasp at this, freezing in his movement. 

 

Loki could see the slight irritation in Thor's eyes and for a second, Thor looked down at Loki's hand before their eyes met again. 

 

Loki had never done this before and he didn't even think about whether Thor was there or not. After all if they were going to touch each other in the future... he saw no reason why he should hide this from him. He'd probably see and hear him doing just the same so why should he ask Thor to leave?  


 

He didn't even move his hand yet, he just let it slide between his legs and held it there but this alone made him let out a gasp. Loki swallowed and licked his lips, feeling his cheeks blush again when Thor locked their eyes together. He could see the small frown and just hoped he wasn't doing anything wrong again. But since Thor let his hand remain on his cheek, he hoped everything was fine. Loki waited a moment and then moved on very slowly, just barely letting his fingers slide over his member which made him tremble lightly, letting out another light moan. He was still looking at Thor intently and it was weird to feel the effect this had on him. Loki could still feel his breath on him and his warm hand and it made his head feel dizzy. He carefully moved his fingers again, moving them past his member to his vagina after he slipped under his own tunic. Though he pulled his hand back rather quickly when he felt that he was wet between his legs.

 

A pleased moan escaped his lips and he took in a shaky breath. "This feels weird." He whispered with a weak chuckle. "But... good. Weird in a good way."

 

Nodding his head when Loki told him it felt weird, Thor gave him a small smile that looked... a little insecure. "Just wait," Thor told him, brushing his thumb against his jaw. "It will get even better. And being touched by your own hand is nothing compared to being touched by someone else. Believe me." 

 

Loki nodded at his words though he couldn't even imagine how it would feel like if Thor was going to touch him if he was so utterly aroused by this right now. Touching himself felt so amazing and Loki was curious what it would be like with Thor. 

 

"Have you done this before?" Loki then asked, letting out a deep breath when he continued to carefully touch his cock. He could feel himself getting aroused and even if he'd read about this in some books, it was completely different now that he tried it for himself. He was glad that Thor still held him because it was supporting in a way and made him feel more safe with this. He even shifted a little closer to Thor, entangling their legs together just a bit. He wondered if Thor enjoyed seeing this. The people in his book did but this was reality and he didn't dare to ask. Would Thor do the same as he did? Loki didn't know. 

 

"I have, yes." Thor replied with a raspy voice.

 

And instead of saying anything more, Loki continued what he was doing and now felt confident enough to wrap his hand around himself, moving his hand up and down. His body tensed up a bit and his jaw dropped open, revealing yet another moan at the sudden flash of pleasure that was muffled by a sudden kiss that Thor initiated. It was needy, desperate almost and Thor pulled him closer, pushing his tongue past Loki's lips. Loki was glad to return the kiss for a few seconds and he opened his mouth fully, hot breath leaving his lungs. 

 

"You can do this as well if you want to." Loki panted, looking up at Thor again before pressing their lips together again. 

 

It didn't even take two seconds before he could feel Thor's free arm moving between them, fumbling with his pants and freeing his own cock - wrapping his hand around it. 

 

Loki moaned into the kiss when he felt it and he almost wanted to break the kiss so he'd be able to see exactly what Thor was doing. This was utterly intense and Loki couldn't help but get even more aroused by this. And the knowledge that Thor now touched himself as well didn't make it any better at all. 

 

Or... well - it did. Of course it was better because he knew Thor was enjoying this as well and he knew it was alright. They both were comfortable enough around each other to do this and this was something Loki never thought would happen. But it did and his whole body was tensing up, tingling with excitement and pleasure. Loki brought his tongue forward to meet Thor's when he suddenly heard him moan into the kiss. It was the most amazing sound Loki believed he'd ever heard and Loki simply had no words for this. 

 

His eyes were closed by now and he simply concentrated on those wonderful sounds Thor made and the way he heard his hand moving while he stroked himself a bit faster. He didn't dare to go on and touch himself somewhere else yet but he had enough time to do this later. For now, he concentrated on the presence, feeling how his head started to feel dizzy and his whole body started to feel as if it was on fire while his hand moved up and down faster now. He felt so warm but it wasn't uncomfortable even if he preferred the cold. 

 

But this here... this was just utterly enjoyable. He just let his body flow and do what felt good. It just felt completely amazing. He moved his own tongue against Thor's, struggling for breath and trying to somehow cope with everything he was feeling right now. It was overwhelming and Loki never thought he could feel so intense and so much at the same time. 

 

"Don't- don't let me go, okay?" he whispered between his breaths and the few times they broke apart. He didn't want to miss Thor's hand at his neck right now. 

 

"Never." Thor moaned back, intensifying the kiss, making Loki almost struggle for breath.

 

Loki moaned louder this time when his body tensed up and he broke the kiss, pulling his head back just a little. Loki then forced himself to open his eyes so they could look each other again and he kept their eyes locked. He could see the pleasure in Thor's eyes. The need and how Thor enjoyed this here just as much as Loki did. Loki felt amazing because he knew he was the cause for the way Thor felt right now. And only a few moments later, Loki reached his own climax for the first time, letting out a loud and uncontrolled roar while he held onto Thor almost desperately as the waves of his climax washed over him, sending shivers through his body and making him feel something he didn't know he was even capable of. 

 

Thor finished a few strokes later and Loki could feel some of Thor's seed being spilled on his stomach and hand as well as he let out a loud moan as well. Both of them were tightly pressed to each other while they tried to calm down from their orgasm, small spasms still making Loki's body tremble violently. Loki's body was literally shaking from his orgasm and he was still holding onto him, his legs still entangled with Thor's through all of this. He breathed heavily, feeling tears of pure joy building up in his eyes. Licking his lips, Loki pressed a soft and sweet kiss to Thor's lips. It was just brushing their lips together and the complete opposite to the kiss they shared just a moment ago. Pulling back again, he looked into Thor's eyes again, remaining quiet for now so he could concentrate on the lust that was sent through his entire body as a consequence of his climax. 

 

And to see Thor like this just intensified this feeling. They experienced this together and Loki wouldn't want it any other way. It took quite some time to calm down but when he did, Loki finally pulled his hand back very slowly when he felt that it was sticking to his hand. It was actually quite weird if he was honest. "I... I think we both need to take a bath."

 

Thor nodded and let out a hearty, warm chuckle that made Loki's heart flutter with pure joy and happiness. "Yes. I think we do." He agreed, kissing Loki once again and Loki felt like they had just kissed one hundred times or more - not that he was complaining. "How are you feeling? Did you enjoy it?" Thor asked, brushing his clean hand against Loki's cheek gently. 

 

Loki nodded with a smile on his lips, letting out a content hum. "I'm... I feel great. Tired but... great. I enjoyed it very much." He answered, his voice quiet. "I asked my father how it feels once. He told me it's just for reproduction. And that it's not enjoyable and could even hurt. I was a bit irritated because it was the opposite to what I read in some books but... I believed him." He said and took a deep breath. The thought of this was still horrible and the fact that he was blind enough to believe it angered him. "But I enjoyed it and it didn't hurt." Loki added after a moment of silence, looking at him again. "Did _you_ enjoy it?"

 

"Well, as much as I hate to say it, your father was right about one thing. Being with someone else can hurt, but only for a moment, and then it should stop. But... yes I did enjoy it," he said, giving Loki a smile and leaning in for another kiss. "I enjoyed it a lot."

 

"...It does?" That was indeed _very_ unsettling. He didn't even really respond to the kiss, only barely and when he pulled back again, Loki gave him a light smile. It was good to hear that Thor enjoyed it as well though. So they could do that again maybe? Of course Loki wanted to take it a bit further as soon as they both were ready for this but he had to admit that Thor's words made him hesitate a little. He sighed and tried to push the thought away. He knew Thor wouldn't hurt him on purpose and since Loki knew that he knew very little about this he already figured that he was probably over thinking all this.

 

"That is what I've heard." Thor answered, stroking Loki's cheekbone with his thumb which calmed Loki down a little again. "But like I said, it doesn't hurt for long, and if I'm doing my job right, you should start feeling pleasure right away. If you want, you could probably talk to someone who has a bit more experience. I mean, I have never... I'm not entirely sure how it works. I am sure my mother would be willing to explain it to you. Or some other woman that you would feel more comfortable with."

 

"I do feel comfortable around your mother. Would you be comfortable with it if I ask her about this?"

 

"I think my mother is already aware of what the two of us are planning on doing in the bedroom. If you would be comfortable with talking to her, than I think you should do it."

 

Loki let out a relieved breath. "Okay." he replied with another nod. "I'll... I will talk to her later." he added. And he was already looking forward to this. She was a nice woman and Loki really trusted her so maybe Thor was right - there was no point in hiding anything if she already knew what they were doing anyway. 

 

"But first..." Loki said and finally let go of him, pushing himself up to crawl out of the bed. "We need to take a bath." he continued with a light chuckle.

 

"Yes, you're right," Thor agreed once again, tucking himself back into his trousers and turning around to look at Loki. "Would you like to bathe alone, or should I join you?"

 

"You can join me if you want." Loki replied with smile, gesturing towards the bathroom right next their chamber. After this, Loki felt like taking the first bath with Thor as well. He took Thor's hand and Thor kissed him again, arms wrapped tightly around Loki and making Loki feel even more loved by him than he already did. He sighed, easing into the kiss and his embrace before they both pulled back again slowly, walking towards the bathroom. 

 

Once they reached it, Loki stopped right in front of the water and turned around to look at Thor, directly meeting his eyes. He wanted to try something more. Just a bit more. But he wanted this and he wanted to see if he could go a step further... Seeing each other naked for the first time. It was something Loki had been dreaming of and now he thought he was ready for it. 

 

Smiling, Loki took a step closer to Thor. He didn't say a single word when he slowly reached out to undo the small fastener that held Thor's tunic together. He opened it, letting the silky fabric drop down to the ground before his hands were sliding up to Thor's broad shoulders and under the collar of his tunic so he could push it to the sides, making it slide off of Thor's shoulders. 

 

That was the moment when Thor took his hands in his own and Loki already thought he'd done something wrong- but then Thor kissed them carefully. "Do not be afraid." He whispered against his knuckles and Loki only now realised his hands had been shaking. But Thor let his thumbs caress the back of his hands with slow movements and his wide smile assured Loki that there was really nothing he had to fear. 

 

Thor always managed to calm him down after all and he really didn't know how he managed to do this. Letting his eyes roam over Thor's upper body, Loki found himself blushing just a little bit. His muscles were so well defined under his tanned skin. His chest prominent and his arms bulking, toned and his broad shoulders made Thor look even larger than he already was. But instead of just thinking, Loki figured he might as well compliment him. "You look perfect." He said quietly. "I... I could look at you forever." He added, eliciting a smile from Thor.

 

"Thank you." Thor replied. "It is a good thing we have plenty of time, then..."

 

Moving his hands down very slowly again, Loki continued to undo the button and zipper of Thor's trousers. Maybe it was like some of the scenarios in his books after all? Even a little bit? If so, Loki just hoped that the fiction had some reality in it. Gathering his courage, Loki grabbed the border of Thor's pants, getting down to his knees and pulling his pants down with him. He helped him getting out of it completely, moving slowly and carefully. Only after he was done with this, Loki got back up.

 

Licking his lips again because they were getting dry, he returned the smile and let his eyes wander across Thor's body again. "I hope I don't bore you." He said with a weak chuckle, swallowing. Thor told him he went further than that before and even if Thor told him he'd wait, Loki couldn't help but ask anyway. Just looking at each other was probably not really exciting for him after all. "Should I take my own tunic off or would you like to do it?"

 

"Bore me?" Thor repeated, shaking his head. "You are the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. Believe me, nothing about this is boring. It doesn't matter that we take things slow. There is no way I would ever find any of this boring, my love." Thor assured him, brushing a few strands of hair out of Loki's face. "Here, let me do it... Turn around for me, would you?"

 

Loki nodded and slowly did as he was told. He knew he didn't have to be nervous but he was anyway. Or maybe it was just the excitement? After all this was the first time they would really see each other and this was something very intimate... trying not to think too much about it, Loki pushed the thought away. He let out a deep breath and relaxed, just concentrating on what would happen now - he didn't even have to wait much longer because Thor was already moving in the most delicious way. 

 

Thor began by running his hands through Loki's hair, gently moving it to the side so that he had access to Loki's neck. It sent a shiver down Loki's spine at the light tingle the movement caused. Just like Thor had done earlier that morning, he suddenly brushed his lips against it, pressing a kiss to his neck, quickly followed by another one, placed a little closer to his shoulder. It was utterly exciting and Loki bit down to his lower lip, letting out a satisfied hum. "You are so beautiful," Thor told him, pressing one more kiss to his neck before pulling his head back again. Putting his hands on the hem of Loki's tunic, he slowly began to move it upwards, stopping only long enough to tell Loki to "Lift your arms for me." Once Loki had done that, he continued to lift his tunic off, and pressed one kiss to his shoulder before letting the tunic fall to the floor. It was such an intimate and utterly erotic moment for Loki and as soon as the tunic left him and they were both naked, Loki swallowed thickly before Thor gently took Loki's hand in his, he slowly turning him around again, locking their eyes together as soon as he was able to. 

 

Loki blatantly took in Thor's entire body, appreciating every bit of it. Every bump and dip of his body. Every muscle. Every single one and he noticed that Thor was doing the same with his body - but he was not ashamed. He relished what they were doing and he was glad that he'd decided to open up like this to Thor because it made him feel incredibly close to him. 

 

"You look incredible." Thor whispered and kissed Loki again before he took both his hands, leading Loki to the water. Loki followed him immediately, his heart fluttering at his compliment. 

 

And both respected what their silent agreement was - they didn't go further. Instead they remained close to each other in the bath, washing themselves but never moving away from each other.


	11. Chapter 11

Thor believed this had been one of the most amazing things he had ever experienced in his entire life. To have Loki so close to him was nothing short of amazing itself - but to experience... mutual masturbation with him... it was something he'd never even dared to dream of. But it had happened and Thor was sure he'd remember it for the rest of his life. Not only had it been the first time he'd seen Loki's perfect and utterly arousing expression during an orgasm, no, it had also been the first time they saw each other naked. It had been a gentle, intimate moment. Thor was silently hoping they'd get to do that again sooner rather than later. 

 

But now he was concentrating on what was before him. After all they both agreed on going out for a ride with the horses. Thor had presented Loki a young mare named Birna. Birna was the horse Thor had been given along with the his black stallion Arfast. In contrary to Arfast though, she was white and had gorgeous hazel eyes. Thor was pleased to see that Loki loved her from the very beginning so he told him that Loki can keep her and take care of her. 

 

Right now they were relaxing at a lake near the forest a few miles away from the palace. Thor knew Loki enjoyed flowers and such and since this here was one of the most beautiful places he knew about, he figured he just had to take Loki here - which turned out to be a good idea because it had been a while since he'd seen Loki relaxed like this. 

 

"Thor, did you ever surf on water? With just your feet, nothing else?" Loki suddenly asked while he stood at the edge of the lake. 

 

Thor raised an eyebrow at that and shook his head. "No, why? Have you ever done that?"

 

Without responding, Loki came back towards him and took his hand in his own, holding onto it firmly. "If you trust me, then do not stop running until I say so. And don't let go of my hand."

 

Thor did trust Loki, and if he was being told not to stop, then he would not stop, no matter what they were going to do. As he held Loki's hand, Thor wondered what he had planned for them. Would he be taking them somewhere? Or did this have something to do with the water, and with the question he had just asked him? It certainly seemed like it because Loki suddenly started _running_ towards the lake with him and Thor could feel how his heart was starting to beat fast. Maybe it was anticipation - maybe admittedly a little bit of fear of the unknown. But he trusted him so he pushed those feeling aside quickly. 

 

Then their feet reached the surface of the water and Thor took a few moments to look down on his feet. Wherever he touched the surface, it froze to ice and the floe was just big enough so they could stand on it - but as soon as they moved away again it melted back to plain water. Looking up again to say something, Thor quickly noticed that Loki's markings were glowing as they were moving in circles on the water. They were glowing in the most beautiful blue shade he'd ever seen and Thor simply stared at him in wonder. 

 

"This is amazing!" He looked around the lake and then back at Loki again, giving him a big smile. 

 

"Do you like it?" Loki asked with a laugh as they slowed down, moving in a relatively slow pace as he slowly let go of Thor so he could try to move on his own. 

 

Thor nodded his head enthusiastically when Loki asked if he liked it. "Yes, I do," he answered, still smiling widely. "I love it." It felt a bit strange to be able to move on water like this, but at the same time it was incredible. 

 

He was still amazed at Loki's powers, and he hoped Loki knew that. Thor wondered if there was anything like this he would be able to do for Loki. Obviously he couldn't wield magic the same way Loki could, but there had to be something new and exciting he would be able to show him that Loki had never once tried before. Well, Thor supposed he could always take him for a ride with Mjölnir, letting Loki come along as he flew them high into the sky, but he wasn't sure if that would be appreciated or not. If Loki didn't think he was going to like to fly, then he could always tell him. For now, though, Thor was going to concentrate on what they were doing. It was even stranger to be moving around on his own, but he still liked it, and he was becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of moving on top of the water like this. 

 

Though to be honest Thor was mostly paying attention to Loki. It was impressive, truly, to watch Loki move around the ice. He looked very graceful, and Thor couldn't help but admire the movements of his body. It looked like a dance, and Thor could easily have watched him all day long. 

 

But of course sooner or later they had to stop because it looked like Loki was getting exhausted from enchanting both of them so they'd be able to glide on top of the water. Thor didn't mind though, he happily followed Loki back to the grass, lying down on his cape next to Loki because he didn't want Loki to have to lie on the ground. 

 

"Thank you for showing me that." Thor thanked him, rolling to his side and gently brushing a hand across Loki's cheek. "It was amazing."

 

"I'm glad you liked it... did you feel it too? The connection. I am not sure if people without Seiðr can feel it." Loki replied with a smile. "As soon as my magic affected you... I could _feel_ you. And some of your feeling as well. It's difficult to describe and I didn't even know this would happyn. But it felt... intimate."

 

Frowning lightly at Loki's words, Thor turned his eyes down to the ground as he thought about it. Had he felt a connection? He wasn't sure. Mostly, he'd been focused on how amazing it was to be moving on top of the water, and the way Loki was glowing. He hadn't spent a lot of time searching for any kind of connection between the two of them. 

 

"I don't know," he said, turning his eyes back up to Loki. "Maybe. I definitely felt something, though I wasn't sure what it could be." Since it was all new to him, he hadn't been able to identify it, and he hadn't really tried that hard either. If he had, maybe he would have been able to realise what it was? He couldn't tell, but he had a feeling he was definitely going to look out for it the next time they did something like this.

 

"Would you mind if I show you? The connected I'd create will be as deep as we both allow it to."

 

Well that was interesting... and Thor was rather intrigued. He wasn't afraid of opening up to Loki. He didn't have anything to hide and if Loki wanted to do this... then he was willing to try. Taking Loki's hand in his own, Thor gave him a determined look. "Do it."

 

When Thor agreed Loki nodded and squeezed his hand firmly, giving him a short nod. Then he turned towards him and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "Just relax. It will feel as if someone wants to break through your mind but it is just me so don't fight it."

 

Thor figured that perhaps he was supposed to do the same thing. It would certainly be a lot easier to relax and concentrate if he wasn't looking at anything. Making up his mind, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and willing his own mind and body to relax. He listened closely to Loki's instructions, wondering what this was going to be like. He didn't really know what it felt like to have someone trying to break through his mind. Well, it had been kind of strange to get all of his memories back when he'd gotten back to Ásgarðr, and he wondered if it would feel anything like that. If so, it was not going to be a very comfortable experience, but Thor trusted Loki, and if he wanted to try this, Thor was willing to give it a shot. 

 

It was definitely a very strange sensation when he first felt Loki trying to enter his mind. 

 

Forcing himself to stay relaxed, Thor told himself that he was not under attack in any way. It was just Loki, and he could trust Loki. If there was one person he would be willing to open up his mind to, it was definitely him. He wasn't entirely sure _how_ he was supposed to go about opening his mind, but for now he was just concentrating on relaxing and making sure he stayed calm, hoping it would work. And then- it worked. Thor could feel how Loki was entering his mind and he could see... he could see Loki. Not literally. He rather felt him and he could feel that his mind opened up for him as well so he dared to take a look as well while still feeling that Loki explored his mind as well. 

 

The experience was unlike everything else Thor had been through. It was strange to practically feel Loki inside his own mind, and at the same time suddenly be inside Loki's mind, being able to see his memories. See Loki's memories through his eyes, experiencing them as if they were his own. Thor wasn't entirely sure how to navigate through the memories, but somehow they flashed through before him, and he saw bits and pieces of this and that. Most of what he saw was Laufey treating Loki just as badly as he had expected him to do. At first, he saw what he had done and said to Loki when Thor had been taken to Ásgarðr, and then it continued on as Loki got younger and younger. It truly angered Thor to see this. He had figured Loki had been treated badly, but to hear the lies straight out of Laufey's mouth, and to know Loki believed him... It made Thor want to fly back to Ásgarðr and tell Laufey exactly what he thought of him. 

 

He wanted to dig deeper but suddenly, Loki pulled back and Thor was pushed out of his mind. 

 

"How was it?" Loki asked quietly. 

 

_Strange_ was the first thing that came to Thor's mind. He had seen quite a lot of Loki's memories, and he was vaguely aware of the fact that Loki had seen quite a lot of his too. Not that he had a lot to hide. Well, he was a bit uncomfortable with the knowledge that Loki had witnessed his time together with Sif, and the times he had taken women to his bed, but he had allowed Loki access to those memories, because he did not wish to hide anything from him. If Loki was going to be entirely open with him, then Thor was definitely going to do the same to Loki. He was going to open himself up and let him see everything, even if it was slightly uncomfortable. 

 

But... how was it exactly? Thor wasn't entirely sure how to describe it. It had been strange, and wonderful, and upsetting... so many emotions all at once, and he wasn't sure which one of them to choose in order to tell Loki how he felt. 

 

"It was... intense," he said, giving Loki a small smile. "It was... I'm not sure. I've never experienced anything like this before."

 

"I figured." Loki replied with a chuckle. "I hope you are alright? I read that it can cause a headache or nausea after the first time."

 

"Yes, I'm fine," Thor said, giving Loki a reassuring smile. "It's nothing I cannot handle. Have you done this many times before?" 

 

"No. Never. At least not willingly. My father did it with me once. I only tried to break through my _own_ mind because of the spell back then... But we can do this as often as we want to. It's not only about exploring memories. It's not something one should do with anyone. It's really private after all and can be misused. You know about the damage that can be done. The mind meld can be used for bad things as well. Erasing and replacing memories... you can even kill someone with this if you damage the mind badly enough. A body can't function without a mind."

 

Thor nodded his head. Of course. Laufey had done it to him. Well, that much was obvious, he supposed. Laufey had always been extremely manipulative, Thor had seen as much now, and he wondered if he had ever really loved Loki. For a moment or two, he had thought so, but after all of this... How could you possibly put someone through this if you really loved them? No, Thor could not see it. He loved Loki more than anyone, and he would never be able to put him through something like that. He would never be able to put _anyone_ through something like that. If he ever became a father, he would treat his children the way they deserved to be treated. He would take care of them, and he would respect them. He would shower them with love and affection, not raise them so that they could sacrifice themselves. 

 

"Do you want to do this again?" Thor asked. He wanted to make sure and find out if Loki wished to do this anymore, or if this was a onetime thing. 

 

Loki smiled. "Of course. If you want to that is. There's more to exchange than just memories. It's hard to explain because I never experienced it either so we'd just have to try next time we do this."

 

Thor wasn't entirely sure what to make of that. What else could they exchange, other than memories? Feelings? Thoughts? Something else? He didn't know, but he assumed he would find out, because if Loki would ask him to do it again, then Thor would without a doubt agree to it. This had been intense, sure, but he wasn't opposed to it. On the one hand, he didn't feel like it was necessary to always know what the other person was thinking, or to know every single one of their memories, but on the other hand, he could see why it would be interesting to learn more about the other one. 

 

 

"Do you think we should head back?" he asked. "It is getting dark." And it was about time for them to return to the palace and go back to their chambers. They could be alone in there too. 

 

"Yes, that would probably be better." Loki agreed with a nod.

 

****

 

A few days later, Loki decided to go and see Sigyn again. He said that he was missing her and Thor was definitely not going to stop him. It was quite the contrary to be honest. Thor wanted Loki to go out because he figured things would be easier for him if he found some friends around here. And meanwhile, Thor had been spending the day with his friends. Though during the day... there was something that bothered him. 

 

He wasn't sure what exactly it was, but he felt like they wanted to tell him something they didn't dare to. They had already met Loki a few times but each time Thor tried to say something about him, they were reluctant and changed the subject yet again. But today, Thor's patience was slowly growing very thin.

 

"If there is something you need to tell me, then do it _now_." Thor growled after a rather exhausting day of trying to figure this out by himself. 

 

Neither of his friends said anything for a long time until it was Volstagg who finally dared to. 

 

"We... have been talking," Volstagg said, looking to the other three for support. "It's about you and Loki."

 

"It's only natural, Thor," Sif said, and Thor turned his head to look at her, surprised that she was speaking up. 

 

"We hear these rumours wherever we go, and after a while, we're bound to start questioning things." She hesitated for a few seconds, and then she continued. "What is in it for him? Why is he here?" 

 

Thor stared at her. That's what they were talking about? They were questioning Loki's motives? Shaking his head, Thor looked at the four of them. "You find it impossible to believe that he would love me?" 

 

Sif leaned closer. "No, of course not. I should know better than anyone how easy it can be to fall in love with you."

 

The three warriors looked away, suddenly finding the ground to be a very interesting thing to watch. 

 

 

"But, we don't see it. I know that it is none of our business, and you don't have to answer, but we just want to hear your side of it." 

 

Clearing his throat, Volstagg looked back up again. "Sif is right, Thor. Every time I have seen the two of you together, I can see that you care for him, but I don't see the same thing in him. Are you certain he loves you?"

 

Furrowing his brow, Thor continued to watch the four of them for quite a long moment. "Is this what you think? You think he does not love me? You believe those rumours?" 

 

Sif shook her head. "We don't want to believe them, Thor, which is why we are asking." 

 

Thor could not believe this. How could they possibly think Loki did not love him? He did. Thor knew he did. He'd seen it in his eyes. He had felt it when Loki opened up his mind for him. This was no trick. If there was one thing Thor was sure of, it was that Loki loved him. Besides, the theory of Loki wanting to get close to him in order to get the throne made no sense. They had been getting close back in Jötunheimr, and Loki had believed he was nothing but a simple warrior. Why would he have done that, unless Loki truly thought there was something between them?

 

"Loki loves me. I know he does. He is not here to get the throne, nor is he here to steal something or have someone killed. He is here because he loves me. He chose to give up his own throne for me." They looked a bit guilty when he raised his voice, but at the same time, Thor was not entirely sure that he had managed to convince them that he was right. 

 

"I understand that you are trying to look out for me. And I appreciate it, but I do not need your help. If anything, I need your help to make Loki feel like he is welcomed, and I need your help to convince the people of Ásgarðr that he means no harm. What I do _not_ need, is the four of you doubting him. Please, I am begging you. Do not mention this to him." 

 

They all nodded their heads, and Thor let out a relieved sigh. At least Loki wouldn't have to deal with this. Thor would much rather go through this on his own, than having Loki hear from his friends that they didn't trust him. 

 

"Thank you," he said. "Now, if you will excuse me, I think I shall return to my chambers." They all nodded their heads again, and Thor gave them one last look before walking away from there. 

 

Though when he made his way back with fast, angry steps, he didn't get far. Thor had only walked a small distance away from the training grounds when he noticed Baldr. He was walking a few meters ahead of him, and he seemed to be in quite a hurry, since he was taking such quick steps. Where was he going? It almost looked like he was running from something, but what... Was he running from him? But if he'd just been at the training grounds... He hadn't been spying on him, had he? 

 

Clenching his jaw, Thor hurried after Baldr, who was walking so fast by now he was basically running. Luckily, it didn't take Thor very long to catch up to him, and as soon as he did, he grabbed Baldr's shoulders from behind and slammed him up against the nearest wall, holding him in place as he glared at him. 

 

"What are you up to?" he asked, and Baldr gave him an innocent look, as if he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. 

 

"I don't know what you mean," he said, and Thor shook his head, pressing him harder up against the wall. 

 

"You know damn well what I mean. What did you hear?" Baldr pressed his lips together and refused to answer, and Thor let out a frustrated growl. "Tell me how much you heard!"

 

But there was still no answer coming from Baldr, and Thor wondered if he could possibly shake the answer out of him, but he did not want to hurt his brother any more than necessary. He did not understand where the sudden change in his brother had come from. Had he always been like this? Was the Baldr he'd gotten to know not real? Was it all fake? He hoped not. His brother had been a kind, gentle person, but this was nothing like that. This was someone cruel, someone willing to do whatever it took in order to... What was he trying to do? What was the point of all of this? Was he still set on trying to get Loki to let them examine and explore him? Was that what this was all about? He didn't know. He didn't know anymore, and it seemed like he was not going to get an answer from Baldr. 

 

 

"Talk to me, Baldr. Tell me how much you heard." Baldr turned his eyes down, refusing to look at him. "You heard what they said about Loki, didn't you?"

 

Slowly, Baldr looked back up again. "Yes, I did."

 

Thor sighed. "And? What are you planning to do with this information?" 

 

Baldr shrugged his shoulders as much as he could while Thor was still holding onto him. "Tell him, of course." 

 

Growling, Thor took a small step closer. "What?" Baldr raised his eyebrows. "He deserves to know, doesn't he? He deserves to know that your friends are just like the rest of them. They don't trust him. None of them do."

 

"Promise me you won't speak a word to him about any of this," Thor said, but Baldr simply shrugged his shoulders again, obviously letting him know that he wasn't going to listen to him. _Great_. If Baldr refused to listen, he would have to find some way to keep him away from Loki so that he could not tell him about the conversation he'd had with his friends. He didn't want to hide something from Loki on purpose, but he thought it was better if he did not find out about this. It would only serve to hurt Loki's feelings and make him feel even more unwelcomed, and that was definitely something Thor wanted to stop from happening. 

 

"Promise me, Baldr. I do not want you to tell him. He does not need to know. I want you to stay away from..." He noticed that Baldr wasn't looking at him anymore, and with a small frown on his face, Thor turned his head to see what exactly he was looking at. 

 

"Look who we got here. What a precious coincidence." Baldr mumbled with a grin.

 

His stomach dropping, Thor immediately let go of Baldr - pushing him perhaps a bit harder than necessary against the wall before doing so - and hurried over to Loki who suddenly appeared a few meters down the hallway, cupping his face in his hands and giving him a worried look. 

 

"Loki? What's wrong?" There were tears shining in his eyes, and Thor could not understand why he was crying. Had someone said something to him? Had something happened at the market again? If he understood the situation correctly, Loki must've just come back from Sigyn after all. "Please, Loki," he said quietly. "Tell me what happened." 

 

Loki moved closer and wrapped his arms around his shoulders to pull him into a deep embrace, not saying anything.

 

Thor immediately wrapped his arms around him in return and held him close to his body. Moving one of his hands to the back of Loki's head, he softly stroked his hair, not saying anything else because he wanted Loki to get a moment to just focus on himself so that he would be able to calm down. Whatever had happened, it must have been quite devastating, and if Thor found out that his friends had indeed told him what they thought of him, there was a chance he would have to yell at them. 

 

"Please. Tell me you believe me that I love you, Thor." Loki whispered and Thor could hear his voice shaking. Thor could even feel icy cold tears dripping on his shoulder.

 

The sound of his voice broke Thor's heart. He sounded so small, so hopeless, and Thor wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from him, but he knew that it was not that easy. Pulling back a bit so that he could look into Loki's face, he pressed their foreheads together. 

 

"I believe you, Loki," he said, making sure his voice was firm, because he needed Loki to know this was the truth. "I believe you. I know you love me. I know. And I love you too. I love you more than anything else in all of the nine realms, do you hear me?" He simply needed to get through to Loki. At least if he managed that much, there was a possibility they could both calm down and end the night in their chambers. "It doesn't matter what they think. You have absolutely nothing to prove to them do you understand? We know that we love each other, and that is all that matters. They cannot break us apart." He pressed a soft kiss to Loki's lips. "I will never leave you. _Never_."

 

Loki still didn't say anything but Thor could feel him nod lightly. 

 

Thor understood how frustrating this must have been for Loki. He was frustrated at their situation too, but at least he was not the one being accused of lying and trying to deceive an entire kingdom just to get the throne. He wished there was something he could do to change this, but he really didn't know what could possibly make the Asgardians change their minds. When were they going to realise that Loki loved him, that they loved each other, and that they were happy together? In fact, when were they going to learn that their words and rumours were the only things standing in their way of being happy all the time? It would seem as though the people of Ásgarðr would want their crown princess to be happy, but they were obviously not understanding that they were hurting him a lot more than they were helping him. If they continued like this, they were going to drive Loki away, and then Thor would be forced to either be depressed for the rest of his life here in Ásgarðr, or go after him, and leave his friends, his family, and his kingdom behind. 

 

"Let's go back to our chambers," he said quietly. "You need to rest." 

 

Moving so that he was standing next to Loki, he kept his arm around him and began leading him down the hallway, only throwing a quick look at Baldr as they passed him. He did not let go of Loki, not even when they reached their chambers. Closing the door behind them, he led Loki over to the bed, making him sit down and then sitting down next to him so that he could wrap his arms around him again after they fell right into their bed. 

 

"It will get better. I promise you." Thor promised, pressing his lips on top of Loki's so he could give him a soft kiss. Then, he moved one of his hands against Loki's cheeks again and it didn't take long until Loki tilted his head so his lips and nose were pressed to the inside of his hand. Loki took a deep breath and placed a kiss to his hand, gently caressing the back of his hand with his cool fingertips. 

 

Thor watched quietly as Loki kissed his hand, and he felt a wave of affection washing over him. How could they not see it? How could none of them see it? How could they possibly think that Loki was only trying to get to the throne? Loki loved him. Thor could see it in his eyes. For him, there was absolutely no chance Loki was faking any of this. Loki loved him just as much as he loved Loki, and that was all he needed to know. If the rest of Ásgarðr was blind to that, that was their problem. He did not care what they thought, not as long as he knew he had Loki's love. Responding to the kiss, Thor moved a hand up and placed it against Loki's neck, letting the kiss linger for quite some time, noticing that Loki tasted like lemons. 

 

"I love you," Thor whispered against his lips, only letting the kiss stop for a few seconds. "I love you so much."

 

But instead of saying anything in return Thor could feel how Loki was entering his mind again. Thor had not been ready for Loki to connect their minds again, and at first it was almost a bit overwhelming, especially because their kiss was already close to making his head spin. He felt everything. As though he had not already been aware of how much Loki loved him, he was now able to feel it, and when he mixed that together with his own love for Loki, there was so much love inside of him, he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle it. Could one person really feel this much love at once? But he could feel more than just Loki's love. He could feel his passion too, he could feel his pleasure, and that was more than enough to drive Thor crazy. Willingly opening his own mind for Loki, in case he wanted to feel what he felt too, Thor moved their lips together, and ran his fingers through Loki's hair. 

 

And then Loki _moaned_ into the kiss, making Thor shiver. It was one of the most amazing things Thor had ever heard and it encouraged him to move deeper, letting his tongue part Loki's lips and exploring his mouth. 

 

Actually... it even encouraged him to possibly take it one small step further. Letting his tongue meet Loki's again, he continued to move their lips together for a moment longer, before pulling back and instead pressing his lips to Loki's neck. Planting a trail of kisses down Loki's neck, he stopped only long enough to murmur against Loki's skin. 

 

"Do you trust me?" He needed to know that Loki had faith in him, and that he knew Thor would never do something Loki did not want him to do. 

 

"Yes." Loki answered without hesitation. "Yes I trust you."

 

Smiling at Loki's response, Thor waited a few seconds before pressing his lips to his neck again, planting another couple of kisses against his soft, blue skin. He reached down with one of his hands, bringing it underneath the blanket. After only a short moment of hesitation, he put it against Loki's thigh, at the same time as he pressed another couple of kisses to his neck. Slowly, he moved his hand up Loki's thigh, once again marveling at how soft and cool his skin was. 

 

"It tickles a little." Loki whispered with a soft chuckle. "In a good way of course. It feels nice."

 

"I could make you feel even better," Thor said, murmuring his words against Loki's skin again. "But I would not want to do something you are not ready for." 

 

Moving his hand back up from underneath the blanket, he kissed Loki's neck one more time before moving up and pressing their lips together again. They had time. Loki had shown that he was willing to take it a step further, but there was absolutely no reason for them to rush into this. They would get there. Thor was going to be patient and wait, no matter how long it took. 

 

"Could you... do that again? Let your hand trail over my skin." Loki asked with a warm smile.

 

"Yes of course." Thor said, offering Loki a smile in return. . Pulling away from him, he turned his eyes down for a moment, and grabbed the corner of the blanket. "May I?" he asked, wondering if Loki would allow him to look at him, if only for a moment. Loki had never been shy about his body before, but Thor still wanted to make sure he was okay with it. 

 

"Yes, you may."

 

Giving Loki another smile, Thor pulled the blanket aside, straightening his back a bit so that he could fully appreciate the gorgeous body he had in front of him. Putting his hands on Loki's thighs, he brushed his fingers against his markings, deciding that once he got an opportunity, he was most definitely going to spend a lot of time committing the markings to memory. 

 

"You look beautiful," he said, while still moving his fingers against Loki's skin. 

 

"Thank you." Loki answered. "And I'm all yours."

 

Thor immediately lit up at that, and he watched Loki for a few seconds before shaking his head. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say something like that," he said, putting a hand against Loki's cheek for a moment or two. "And I am yours, Loki. Entirely." Leaning down, he moved his thumb a little bit and pressed his lips against Loki's thigh, against one of the markings, eliciting an immediate gasp from Loki.

 

Once again, it made him smile against Loki's skin. Making his way up his thigh, Thor continued to plant one kiss after another, enjoying the feel of Loki's skin against his lips. It was almost impossible for him to believe that this was happening. For so long, he had thought he could never be with Loki, and ever since they had confessed their feelings for each other, he had thought they would be taking it slow for a long time. Now, though, he had his lips pressed against Loki's thigh, and it felt amazing. 

 

And due to this mind meld, he could feel what Loki was feeling. It was incredible to be able to feel what Loki felt right now. He had obviously never experienced something like this before, and he realised after a few seconds that he could use their linked minds to his advantage since he could figure out what part of Loki's skin would bring him the most pleasure. 

 

"Does it feel so good everywhere on the body?" Loki asked quietly.

 

"Some places should be more enjoyable than others," he told him. "We will have to experiment." 

 

He could spend an entire day mapping out Loki's markings with his lips and tongue. That way, he had a feeling he would get to know him a bit better. And after a bit more time spent together, he was sure he would know all about the spots that would drive Loki crazy even at the simplest of touches. 

 

 

"And I think I do know of a particular place where it would feel even better." Smiling up at Loki, he pressed another kiss to his thigh. "Trust me, I could make you feel things you have never felt before." And he was going to make sure to do just that, once they were ready for that step. 

 

Loki bit down to his lower lip and nodded. "I am already looking forward to it."

 

It was definitely good news that Loki had responded so well to all of this. He easily could have pushed Thor away and told him he wasn't ready yet, but so far he'd shown a willingness to learn, and he had definitely shown that he trusted Thor. There wasn't a shred of doubt in Thor's mind that he would be able to make Loki feel good, if only given the chance, and now he had taken one step closer to his goal. He'd even been able to feel what Loki felt, and he knew he had made him feel good by kissing him and touching him. It was definitely a very nice thought, and it made Thor excited for when they would get to continue this, because the thought of knowing that he had been the one to bring Loki to a climax... Well, that was almost too good to be true. 

 

"Can you kiss me once more somewhere before we go to sleep?"

 

"And where would you like me to kiss you?" he asked, giving Loki a small smile.

 

"It's... I read about this and I don't know if you want to but I'd like to try it out because it sounded so... soft and gentle." he continued and pushed himself up a little. "On my back. At the small of my back, right above the pelvis."

 

Thor tilted his head to the side when Loki began to explain. He had read about something? That sounded interesting. He couldn't help but wonder how much Loki had read about these things. And he also wondered what it had felt like for him, reading about what it was like to be touched while knowing that no one would ever touch him. Well, Thor was certainly going to make sure to show him what it was like to he touched. He would try his hardest to make up for all of those years Loki had lived without anyone showing their love for him with gentle touches. Nodding his head when Loki finally told him where he wanted to be kissed, Thor smiled at him. 

 

"If that is what you wish." He thought it sounded like a good idea, and if Loki thought he was going to like it, then... Why not? "Could you turn around for me?" he asked. "Lie down on your stomach." It would be a lot easier that way. 

 

Loki pushed himself up and slowly rolled around, lying down on his stomach. "Okay, I'm ready." He announced quietly and rested his head on one of the pillows.

 

There was definitely a sense of trust between the two of them when Loki was willing to turn around like this without knowing for sure what Thor was going to do. Granted, they had agreed that Thor was going to kiss him, but there was still a certain amount of uncertainty when Loki could not see what he was doing. Nodding his head even though Loki could not see it, Thor leaned closer and put his hands against Loki's hips, at first, he stopped with his lips a couple of centimeters away from Loki's skin, allowing him to feel his breath so that he knew he was close. He didn't want to surprise him and make him feel uncomfortable. Then, after a few seconds, he leaned even closer and brushed his lips against Loki's skin, finally pressing a kiss against the small of Loki's back. 

 

The second his lips met Loki's skin, Loki flinched and Thor smiled. Because their minds were still open for each other, he knew that Loki had liked it, and now he had at least one particular spot to commit to memory. 

 

"That is definitely interesting," he mumbled, pressing his lips once again to the same spot. Moving a bit higher, he continued to kiss his way up Loki's spine, making sure to move his hands across his back as well. Finally, he placed a soft kiss to Loki's shoulder, and gave him a warm smile. 

 

"I hope you liked it?" he said, of course already knowing that Loki had liked it, and just wanting to hear him say it. 

 

From this angle, Thor could even see the light tint of purple on Loki's cheeks - he blushed. "Yes... yes I liked it very much." Loki answered and let out a sigh, opening his eyes again. "Come closer..." he whispered and tilted his head to the side a bit so he could look at him.

 

Thor frowned lightly for a few seconds, before nodding his head. He didn't want to completely crush Loki, because he was sure that he could be quite heavy, so instead of lying down on top of him, he lied down right next to him, with about half his body covering Loki's. He entangled their legs and put an arm around Loki's back. 

 

"I love you," he told him again, pressing another kiss to Loki's shoulder while slowly moving the tips of his fingers up and down Loki's spine.

 

"I love you too." Loki replied, shifting as close to Thor as possible before he closed his eyes. 

 

Thor put his head down, resting it against the pillow. He continued to move his fingers across Loki's back, deciding that since Loki had not told him to stop, he was probably enjoying it. Thor watched as his eyes seemed to be growing heavier, and after no more than a few minutes, Loki looked to be asleep. No longer moving his hand, Thor made sure that he still had his arm around Loki, and closed his own eyes, glad that they would be falling asleep like this. It was nice to feel Loki's body so close against his own, and it did not take long for Thor to fall into a deep slumber, the small smile on his lips not disappearing until much later. 

 

****

 

After that, the days had been... difficult. Thor had done the best to make things right for Loki. He had done what he could to shower Loki with affection so he would feel welcomed here in Ásgarðr, even if both of them knew very well that it would take time and effort to make sure that Loki was truly accepted in this realm. But Thor would make sure that Loki was feeling good. He wanted to make him feel good, loved, cherished. Because Thor did love him truly and to his very core. 

 

They had spend a few days in the library then. Just sitting there, reading stories to each other and Thor found listening to Loki while he was reading utterly calming. At some days, they went out with their horses again and Thor was sure Loki looked utterly free and happy when he was on Birna's back. It made Thor happy that he'd been able to give something to Loki he truly enjoyed in this realm that was so alien to him. 

 

Today though they had spent the day in their chambers and... well - this had been good. Since they had been growing a lot closer to each other these last days, Loki started to slowly open up to him. He was much more relaxed when it came to little touches and now Thor was sitting on one of the large, comfortable sofas of his chamber, waiting for Loki to come back from the bathroom. He had told him he wanted to dance for him today which was something Thor appreciated highly. He could still remember how he'd reacted when he found out Baldr had been watching Loki dance for the first time and ever since then... Thor wanted to see it too.

 

And today, Loki was going to dance for him. Only for him. It was something Thor still couldn't really believe. Then, the sound of a door being opened made him snap out of his thoughts. 

 

Turning his eyes back up again, Thor blinked. Wow. Loki looked... He looked incredible. Thor obviously hadn't seen him like this before, and it took him quite a few moments simply to take it all in. Loki was wearing one of the slightly transparent harem trousers Halldís made for him. It was dark green with golden seam and sticheries. There were even a couple of small bells on his ankle. Loki was even wearing a transparent face veil in a matching colour. He had put on a little bit of jewellery around his wrists and his neck as well and his hair was held back by a simple tie.

 

He loved how the dark green looked on his skin, and he especially liked the golden details. His hair looked amazing - as always - and everything else simply... It worked. The entire outfit worked, and Thor found himself at a loss for words. 

 

"You look incredible," he told him, giving Loki a soft smile. Thor already wanted to touch, and he hadn't even started dancing yet! He was sure that Loki would look quite spectacular if he was dancing around in this, and Thor honestly could not wait for it. 

 

Loki was visibly relieved that Thor liked it and closed his eyes for a few moments. "You'll hear some sort of music in your head so don't be alarmed." Loki said and then his markings started to glow just a little bit again when he started. 

 

Loki raised his arms above his head and slowly started swaying his hips from side to side to get the right rhythm going, eyes locked with Thor's for now. After a few moments, Loki took a step forward and brought his arms down a bit, spinning on his tiptoes with his arms wide open, taking another step into Thor's direction. He moved towards him steadily and to the side again, bending down to him so he would only feel the breeze he created with his movements while he was dancing. He was facing Thor at times and sometimes he simply presented him his backside, giving him a look over his shoulder only to turn around again and continue moving around the area in front of him while he still moved his hips in a circular motion, completely in sync with the rhythm of the music the entire time.

 

Just as he had suspected, Loki was very good at this. He was graceful, and there was something truly... magical about watching him. And it had nothing to do with Loki's magic. There was something else. Thor was fascinated, and he could not take his eyes off of Loki. Not that he would have wanted to. He followed his every movement with his eyes, a small smile on his lips. Loki truly was absolutely beautiful, and Thor definitely felt very lucky for being able to experience this. 

 

Unfortunately, Loki slowed down after probably ten minutes of moving around in rhythm to the music. The music slowed down and deceased and so did his movements. And while doing so Loki made his way over to Thor again, taking off the veil to let it fall down to the ground before he climbed onto the couch and on Thor's lap, straddling him before he leaned in, cupping his cheek gently to press a firm kiss to his lips. 

 

Putting his hands on Loki's hips, Thor kissed him back without hesitation, moving his lips against Loki's for a long moment before he pulled back. 

 

"That was amazing," he told him, slowly opening his eyes and looking up at him. "I have never seen a dance like that before. It was absolutely incredible." And he definitely hoped he would get to see it again, some other time. For now, though, he was more than happy to just have Loki straddling his lap. 

 

"I'm glad you liked it..." Loki whispered. "This was just for you."

 

"I wouldn't have you dancing for anyone else." Thor said. Was that slightly possessive? Perhaps. But Thor did not care. Besides, that was only natural, wasn't it? Why should he want Loki to dance for someone else? He was sure Loki felt the same way about some things. He had been the one to say that he only wanted Thor to touch him, after all. It made sense that they would be very protective of each other, and that they would not want other people to get in the way of what they had. 

 

"I only wish there was something I could do for you," he said, pressing a kiss to Loki's lips. "But I can't dance."

 

Loki returned the kiss eagerly and only pulled back after what felt like an eternity. Then, Loki hesitated and Thor frowned a little. It looked like Loki had some kind of idea, and Thor wondered if there was something he could do for Loki. What would that be? He couldn't think of anything. Nothing like this, at least. He really wasn't going to dance for Loki. He had a feeling the only thing he would accomplish by doing so would be to make Loki laugh.

 

Loki tilted his head and looked at him in silence for a moment. "You could hold me." Loki said, still looking at him. "I want to please myself again and... try something else today. I'd love if you would hold me while I'm doing this."

 

That sounded incredibly easy. He was just going to hold him? But then Loki elaborated, and Thor raised his eyebrows. Watching Loki for a few seconds without being able to speak, Thor licked his lips and finally found his voice again. "I think I could do that. If that is what you want."

 

"Thank you." Loki replied, revealing his white teeth with his next smile. "I feel much safer if you're holding me. You help me enjoy such things and everything else so much more." 

 

 

This was utterly nice to hear. Thor thought it was wonderful to know that Loki felt safer when he was holding him, and he also thought it was wonderful to hear that he helped him enjoy those things so much more. Really, what more could he have asked for? It was truly amazing to know, and to realise how much Loki really did care for him. How could any of them doubt it? Granted, they did not get to see this, but to Thor it was so obvious. He did not understand how so many people - including his friends - could doubt him. 

 

"I am very glad to hear you say that."

 

Slowly, Loki pulled back and shifted his weight so he could turn around, setting himself down so he was still sitting on Thor's lap - but the other way around - so he could lean his back against Thor's chest. And for a second, Thor was afraid that Loki would pull back when he sat down completely because when he guessed right this was going to be incredibly arousing... it definitely had a wonderful effect on him - yes. Thor was aroused and he was sure Loki would feel the bulge in his pants when he sat down completely. But Loki didn't pull away so Thor was confident Loki didn't mind. 

 

Admittedly, Thor was kind of nervous right now, but he was still going to remain calm, because he did not want to make it any worse for Loki. He could feel him moving about, and Thor almost had to smile when he realised that he had thought the dance would be the most sexual thing he would get to experience all night. He had definitely been wrong. This was more sexual - there was no denying it. He was impressed, though, that Loki would have the courage to do something like this so early. He was happy, too, that Loki would trust him and be comfortable enough around him to be willing to sit in his lap. 

 

After making himself comfortable, Loki let out a deep breath. "Put your hand on top of mine." He said after opening his pants and pulling them down just so he could spread his legs a little. 

 

 

When Loki spoke up, Thor spent a few seconds wondering if he was trying to kill him. In a very generous way, of course. He wanted him to have his hand on top of his? Any kind of touching right now would be magical, and Thor swallowed before he spoke up. "Only if you are sure about it," he said, and slowly moved his hand to let it rest on top of Loki's. 

 

"I am, if you are."

 

And without waiting any further, Loki started moving his hand - and Thor moved his own as well - past his own cock, further between his legs. Loki let out a small gasp as he stopped right when their hands covered his quim. 

 

Thor had to take a few seconds to remind himself that you could not die from something being too arousing. Or could you? He supposed that his heart could stop, or possibly speed up far too much. Still, he wasn't going to die from this. And if he would, then it would be a very interesting and not to mention good way of dying. He made sure to keep his hand only on top of Loki's. After all, Loki was supposed to be touching himself, and he was supposed to touch nothing other than Loki's hand. Did he want to touch Loki and explore his body? Of course he did. But he wasn't going to. Not until Loki told him it was okay. But _oh_ he could feel the soft wetness of Loki's cunt with his fingertips and it was enough to make his head feel dizzy. 

 

After the pause Loki started to move his fingers in small circles and there was a suppressed gasp coming from his lips. "Thor..." he breathed and leaned his head back and to the side to lean against Thor's head a little. 

 

His movements were slow and gentle and Thor could see Loki getting hard. Thor could practically feel Loki's arousal, and it was the most incredible feeling. Of course he wanted nothing more than to touch, but he knew it wasn't going to happen. Not this time. One day, he would be able to touch Loki as much as he wanted, and he could have him writhing on the bed while using his own hands to satisfy him. But it would not happen tonight. He would have to be patient, and wait for Loki to be ready to take that step. 

 

Nevertheless, his own name on Loki's lips sounded like sweet music to his ears, and leaned his head forward, pressing a soft kiss to Loki's shoulder. "I'm here, Loki. I'm right here with you."

 

Loki even started to move his hips, rutting them up into their hands slowly and his hand started to move faster. And suddenly, Loki let out a loud moan when he apparently found his clit. Loki started rubbing against that very spot faster, letting out another moan and his free hand moved down, digging into Thor's thigh.

 

Thor swallowed, doing his best to stay calm. After all, this moment was not about him. It was about Loki. He wondered how intense it was for Loki right now. He had parts that Thor did not have, and he had no way of knowing how much better Loki could make himself feel. He had read about it, though, and of course he had spoken to other people, and as far as he understood it, reaching a climax could be so much more intense for women than it was for men. Now, Loki was not a woman, but he did have female parts, and Thor assumed that it was very intense for him as well. Moving his free hand, Thor brushed Loki's hair to the side and pressed soft kisses to the back of his neck, wanting to do something to make him feel better, instead of simply sitting there and watching it happen. 

 

It was quite easy for Thor to tell when Loki was slowly getting closer to his climax. He had only seen it happen once before, but because of the many different signs, like Loki constantly moving his hand faster and the heavy breathing, he was able to figure out that it was probably no more than a few seconds away. And , as it turned out, he was completely right. 

 

Loki continued with his movements, his moans growing louder and then - he could feel his muscles getting tense. Thor continued to plant soft kisses against Loki's neck, and when he could feel him trembling he made sure to wrap his arm around him, holding him until he was certain that it had passed. It took Loki some time and Thor kissed him through all of this, waiting until Loki's trembling body slowly calmed down again.

 

That had most definitely been intense. Thor had a feeling that he'd been right about that too. Loki's orgasms were indeed going to be more powerful than his. Thor supposed that he should have been jealous about that, but he wasn't. Not at all. Instead, he couldn't help but wonder how long he would have to wait before he would get the chance to bring Loki to one of these orgasms. Thor was sure that it would be incredible, and even more arousing than this had been. Letting go of Loki's hand, Thor slowly moved his own hands from Loki's shoulders and down his arms. 

 

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly. 

 

"I feel..." Loki was still panting heavily. "I feel great. I... My body was so- It was so full of pleasure and I even caught myself wishing that you would... just push me over and have sex with me." Loki answered with a weak chuckle. "What about you? Are you okay?" Loki continued and slowly shifted his weight again, turning around again so he could look at Thor after pulling his pants up again. 

 

As amazing as it had been to have Loki sitting in his lap like that, Thor was glad that he could now look into his eyes again. Reaching up, he put his hand against Loki's cheek, softly stroking his thumb against his skin. He could tell that Loki felt great. He _looked_ great. He almost looked like he was glowing, in a way, and Thor was pretty sure that he had never looked more beautiful. Tilting his head to the side when Loki continued, he raised his eyebrows. 

 

Was Loki aware of the kind of effect he had on him? Was he aware of what he did to him when he said something like that? Watching Loki for a really long time, Thor somehow managed to open his mouth again. 

 

"Yes, it... It was..." He shook his head. "It was more than okay," he finished, leaning closer and pressing a soft kiss to Loki's lips. He was always so surprised at how blunt Loki could be. It almost seemed like he should have been a lot more shy, since he was new to all of this. Then again, maybe that was why he was so blunt? He had shown by now that he did not always know how to behave in a proper manner, and maybe this was all just part of that? Not that Thor was complaining. He enjoyed Loki's bluntness, and he hoped it would continue. 

 

"That is good..." Loki replied happily. "I love you."

 

"I love you too..." Thor said, still stroking Loki's cheek with his thumb. He almost could not believe how much he loved Loki, but it was real, and there was no way to deny it. He loved him, and he wanted him, in more ways than one.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki get a little more intimate and Thor almost loses his temper because of his brother Baldr.

"So, Loki. What did you want to talk about with me?" Frigga asked and sat down on one of the benches in her garden.

 

Admittedly, Loki was getting a little nervous. Even if Thor had told him it was alright if he wanted to talk to Frigga about this. He still didn't know how she would react. It was a delicate matter after all. But Loki figured it was fine, considering they were in a private area of the palace. Frigga's gardens were beautiful and they were presenting every single colour Loki could think of in a way that made him forget his sorrows. The scent of roses was heavy in the air and the quiet sound of a small waterfall in the distance was calming his heartbeat. 

 

"Okay so- I was wondering..." now that he had to say it out, it wasn't that easy anymore. 

 

But they were here and Loki needed those answers which was why he figured he might as well get it over with. After all he and Thor thought about taking it a step further sooner or later and Loki wanted to be prepared.

 

"I heard that the _first time_ can be painful." he simply stated and stopped to look up, hoping that Frigga would just come around and guess what he wanted to ask. 

 

The queen smiled and tilted her head to the side. "I am completely sure that Thor will be as gentle as he can, believe me. You trust him, do you?" She replied and Loki nodded. 

 

"Of course I do."

 

"Then your body should not tense up. If you don't relax it will hurt, yes. But if you remain calm and relaxed and if you two trust each other enough, it shouldn't hurt. You're partly woman, yes?" 

 

Loki nodded as well. 

 

"It can be that if your hymen rips, there'll be a light sting, but that it all. You won't feel any pain."

 

At least Frigga managed to reassure him concerning this matter and Loki found himself being a bit more relaxed about this. After all she was a woman and so Loki believed what she said. Though there were still some things he wasn't sure of and it was good to know that Frigga told him she had time for him today. 

 

"And what about children? Thor and I are far away from being ready for children." He continued and shook his head. He didn't want to get pregnant when they weren't ready yet. 

 

"Do you bleed?" Frigga suddenly asked and Loki shook his head, a bit irritated. 

 

"What?"

 

"Do you bleed?" she asked once again. 

 

"No... No, why..." he started but Frigga stopped him, standing up. She offered him a hand and pulled him up as well, a gentle smile playing around her lips. 

 

"Come on, I guess it's time to go and see a healer. No worries, I just want to check something before I go and explain something to you that might be wrong."

 

Now, Loki was definitely not only nervous but curious as well. But he followed Frigga into the hallways again and then down some stairs. He wondered what this was all about. He really hoped everything was fine because- honestly? Bleeding didn't sound so good. But Frigga promised answers and Loki trusted her with this so he kept quiet until they finally reached the healing chambers. 

 

"My queen. Loki." Juna said with a wide smile, making her face look even rounder and Loki couldn't miss the cute dips in her cheeks when she smiled like this as soon as she saw them.

 

"I hope you are both alright?" She asked, worry visible in his eyes. 

 

Frigga nodded and let out a chuckle. "Yes we are both fine. I just wanted to ask you if you could... check something." She continued and lead Loki over to the divan bed to motion him to lie down. She assured him that nothing would happen and that he should just relax and answer any questions Juna had. Loki did as he was told and lay down, looking at the two women who seemed to discuss something though he couldn't quite hear what they were talking about. Then they came back to him and Juna activated the Soul Forge that brought up an image of himself, divided in particles of different colours. 

 

He could see Juna frowning. She seemed to consider something but he couldn't tell what it was. Then, she finally spoke up. 

 

"That's... actually interesting. Loki, do you have any idea how your body works?" 

 

"No. That is why I asked Frigga about... some things."

 

"Women's bodies usually renew what they need for giving birth to a child every months but... you don't... I- I don't think the medicine my queen suggested for you so you can't get pregnant will work." 

 

"That's where the ovaries should be." Juna explained as she pointed at a bundle of bright purple particles at his lower abdomen. "But it's something else. It's similar but it looks like you're fertile only for a couple of days a month. Loki, do you know the Mirabilis jalapa? The blossom opens during night and opens during day. It's a similar process with you. You're... as far as I can tell, you are fertile for a few days a months and then for the rest... you are not. This... I don't know how to call it - what should be your ovaries - opens and closes instead of renewing itself. Maybe they are yours, but they look different because of your special anatomy. You do need a pair to have children after all."

 

Loki frowned while the two of them talked and shook his head. 

 

"What does that mean?" He asked, hoping it was not something bad. 

 

"It means you don't need any medicine to prevent pregnancy because..." Juna looked at the particles again for a moment. "See this? Your... ovaries are closed. And they only open a few times a month. So... if you want to know the exact days then you need to come here once a week so I can check on you." She continued and leaned closer to him again, winking. 

 

"That means you and Thor don't have to fear anything during the next... I figure two weeks if you decide to get a bit more... intimate." Juna finished with a light chuckle. 

 

Loki smiled both because he was glad that his body was working completely normal and that they didn't really have to worry about such things. He was sure Thor would be relieved as well.

 

"Thank you very much Juna." Frigga interrupted them and smiled at the healer before she looked at him again. "So Loki... would you like to head back to my garden to continue talking?" 

 

And Loki definitely loved to. 

 

It was refreshing to talk to Frigga. His questions were answered and Loki was grateful for every single answer he got. She was not judging him and she willingly answered calmly, explaining everything to him as best as she could. There were only a few things he wanted to know. Some small things about some details he read about. He even asked what he could do to make Thor feel good though Frigga only chuckled at that question and told him that only Thor could answer this question, so Loki decided to ask him what he liked later tonight. And during the rest of the day, Frigga asked her handmaidens to bring something to eat and a hot chocolate for him. He never heard about that before and so he was excited when he got it. And as soon as Loki tasted it he let out a pleased sigh. He figured it was going to be something he could drink every day. But when it was getting late and dark outside Loki stood up and said goodbye to Frigga. He thanked her and after bowing to her he turned around to leave the gardens and head back to Thor's and his chamber.

 

And when he was back, the day was ending wonderfully. Thor told him about his day, told him that he had a talk with his friends and that they were sorry for doubting Loki and to show this in such a manner. And Thor had also been pleasantly surprised by what Loki found out thanks to Frigga. This would make things so much easier for them. 

 

For the rest of the evening they both were entangled together not only in the sheets, but also in each other's limbs. Loki quickly realised once again that there was no place he'd rather be. 

 

"Thor?"

 

"Hm...?" He answered and Loki could hear how tired he was. 

 

"I was just thinking about something we could try. Or... rather something I would like to try if you are fine with it."

 

"What is it, love?"

 

"It was just an idea but... how about we lie down on top of each other instead of next to each other like this? Preferably naked."

 

There was a long silence before Thor began talking again and this time, it sounded as if he was fully awake again. "That sounds like a wonderful idea. Would you like to lie down on top of me or the other way around?"

 

"Maybe we could switch after a while?"

 

Nodding his head, Thor gave Loki a smile. "Seems like you have it all figured out. I like that."

 

Loki gave him a nod as well and felt himself being relieved when he saw the encouraging smile. He took a deep breath and licked his lips when he moved closer, taking off the loin cloth he was wearing while he watched Thor getting rid of his woolen tunic under the blanket. 

 

Then, Loki pulled his own blanket away to reveal his body to Thor and without any further moment of hesitation he lifted his leg over him again. This was the second time they saw each other naked and Loki felt his heart beating faster again, his body full of excitement. He met Thor's eyes, immediately returning the smile he saw. 

 

"You are absolutely beautiful." Thor whispered and opened his arms in a welcoming manner. And after a few more moments he crawled up so he could sit on Thor's lap again before he bent down to lie on top of him, his nose hidden in the crook of Thor's neck.

 

It was a stunning feeling and it was completely new to him. Loki was actually curious what Thor was thinking in this moment. For Frost Giants... being naked was completely natural but it was not something common here in Ásgarðr and he believed that based on those two different point of views this situation felt different for them as well, not only because of their experiences. To him, feeling his warm body below his own was... it was new and strange but Loki loved this feeling. Of course he realised that Thor lay completely still but Loki was not going to tell him what to do. This was something for both of them and Loki would only do what felt right - which was why he figured Thor would do the same. So instead of saying anything he pressed a gentle kiss to his neck, feeling Thor's pulse beneath his lips until he pulled back again, drawing small circles with his fingertips on Thor's bare chest and shoulder. 

 

After that, it didn't take long before Loki felt Thor moving his hand to the back of his head, slowly brushing his fingers through his hair. 

 

"This is oddly relaxing." Thor said, smiling as he continued to move his fingers through Loki's hair, moving his other hand to gently place it on Loki's back.

 

"It is." Loki replied quietly. "Have you done something like this before?"

 

"No, I haven't. I mean, obviously I've been lying on top of or underneath people before... but never like this. Never just lying still like this."

 

"Then this is even better than it already was a few seconds ago..." Loki mumbled happily. So this was the first time doing this for them both. They did this for the first time together and experienced it. Something completely new and Loki was probably way more excited about this than it was necessary. 

 

"This feels nice..." he added when Thor started tracing his spine with his fingertips. It was indeed a very nice feeling and Loki felt goose bumps all over his back. He figured that if he'd stay like this for much longer he could easily fall asleep like that. But he wanted to experience this to its fullest and they were going to switch places at some point as well.

 

"Yes it does. It feels very nice."

 

Loki sighed and moved his head after what felt like hours having Thor caressing his spine, smiling down at him before he pressed another kiss to his lips. 

 

"How does switching positions sound to you?"

 

Kissing Loki back, Thor smiled at him and nodded his head. "Sounds like a good idea."

 

Both of them sat up and Loki lay down into the mattress, keeping his eyes on Thor. He took a deep breath when Thor bent over him to lower himself. Not that he was much taller than him but he was a lot bulkier and Loki felt his heart racing at the sight. He angled his legs a little so it Thor's hip would fit better, lying his legs to his own sides. And as soon as Thor lay down completely Loki wanted to say that this was incredibly nice too, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a rather uncontrolled moan when he felt Thor's cock against his own. Nevertheless Loki gave him an approving nod, holding his breath for a moment. 

 

Then, he breathed out heavily and while he did so, he gave him another nod. "It feels... good."

 

Thor swallowed audibly at that, watching him for a few seconds before clearing his throat. "Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea." He said quietly, his voice raspy.

 

"No it's fine. It's fine." Loki replied and shook his head. "I just didn't expect that." He added and swallowed, relaxing his muscles for a moment before he calmed down again after a few moments. He brought his hands up and cupped Thor's face with his hands, giving him a kiss before leaning his head down again. 

 

"It's fine." Loki said once again and slowly put his arms around Thor's back. And it was true - he hadn't expected that it was so different when they were naked. But now he knew and he could get used to it by just lying here with Thor. 

 

They were just looking into each other's eyes then for quite some time, just enjoying each other's presence. But then, Thor suddenly leaned down, bringing his hands up to cup Loki's cheek before he gave him a firm kiss. And even if Loki was a little surprised, he loved it whenever Thor initiated something. It somehow showed him that Thor was eager to try out new things as well and that he was not the only one who wanted to go further and further. As soon as their lips met Loki slowly traced Thor's muscles at his back and returned the kiss passionately, moving their lips together. And while Thor moved his hands to Loki's neck, he continued to caress Thor's back with the fingers of his left hand while the other moved into his hair, entangling it in the blond strands. Loki held him firmly and pulled him a little closer. Even the kiss was way more intense like this. Of course Loki could not compare it to anything or anyone but... he was satisfied with this here. It was more than he thought he would ever get and he hoped it would stay like this. That he could stay with Thor for the rest of his life. 

 

"I love you so much." Loki mumbled when he pulled back a little, taking a deep breath before he brought their lips together once again.

 

Thor let out a soft groan at that, squeezing the back of Loki's neck gently, pulling his head up just a little so they were closer and Thor then pushed his tongue out carefully, parting his lips as he silently asked for entrance. Of course, Loki willingly granted him as much and he opened his mouth for him. Still a bit awkward, he pushed his tongue up against Thor's, tilting his head to the side a little bit. Thor tasted of mead and how the air smelled like after a storm and Loki loved every single bit of it. He even loved it so much that he - out of pure instinct - brought his legs up to wrap them around Thor's hips to pull him further down, _closer_. 

 

It only took Thor a heartbeat to react and suddenly he could feel Thor's hand on his thigh and he _rolled their hips together_. 

 

Loki couldn't help but let out a loud moan, tilting his head back at the friction this movement caused. Loki didn't even have any words to describe this feeling because he felt like the word _lust_ was not enough. A wave of pleasure was sent through his entire body and it only made him cling to him even tighter, not even trying to hide how arousing Thor's movement had been. 

 

"Can you- can you do that again?"

 

For a second, Thor looked like he was about to apologise but he hesitated, looking down at him with wide eyes, licking his lower lip. Thor looked nervous. But instead of a reply, the answer was different. Thor's grip on his thigh was tighter now and he rolled their hips against each other again, pressing his lips against Loki's neck as he did, moving once again. And with each movement there was, Loki could feel Thor's slowly hardening cock sliding between his plump folds and then up across his own cock. 

 

It may not be a very intimate action for other people but his grip on his thigh meant much to Loki. His own grip in Thor's hair tightened and when Thor rolled his hips forward again and again and he let out another moan, holding onto his back as best as he could. Loki started feeling his blood flowing down to the middle of his body and the friction made him shiver and moan beneath him. Loki didn't even try to hide his arousal and how he was slowly getting hard and wet. 

 

Thor's lips moved further down then and he felt his soft lips against his neck, sucking and licking at his blue skin. It was an incredible feeling. There was an incredible wave of pleasure that filled his body each time Thor was grinding against him but because of the slow place he never felt too much pleasure to slowly draw him closer to the edge. It was a pleasure that was there and ebbed away, then came back and then vanished again. And Loki could feel his whole body slowly wanting to delete those pauses and instead feel this pleasure without a break. But this time he let Thor determine the pace. It was amazing to feel that they were both equally aroused by this and each time their cocks rubbed against each other or Thor's was getting slick from his juices, Loki let out a breathless moan. Though because Loki didn't know what to do in such a situation he just pulled at Thor's hair to make him look at him only to pull him down, bringing their lips together again. 

 

His chest was getting dizzy and the world around him seemed to start spinning around them. Loki's chest was rising and falling rapidly and his limbs were heavy around Thor's body as the pleasure built up and ebbed. Loki thought he'd go crazy like this. Then, finally, Loki bucked his hips up at the same time Thor brought his own down to him, trying to encourage him to move faster. 

 

Thor's response was instantaneous. The moan that escaped Thor's lips was rumbling, _vibrating_ through his own chest. And then Thor finally did what he was hoping he would - he moved faster. As soon as he did so, Loki lay his head back down on the bed. It was incredible and those sounds Thor made were pushing him even further. His voice was ringing in his ears and everything he could - and wanted - to think about was Thor. Taking this step hadn't been planned by them. It happened because both of them felt that it was right to do it now and Loki was completely satisfied with this. This whole experience was so stunning and arousing that Loki had troubles releasing this feeling apart from letting his jaw drop open to let out moans with each thrust. He kept moving against him as much as he could with Thor still holding his thigh in place and while doing so Loki tried to find something to hold onto so the hand that was not entangled in his hair now clung to the skin between Thor's shoulder blades. 

 

 

"Gods, Loki..." Thor moaned softly into his ear and quickened his pace, still looking into Thor's eyes. 

 

They kissed passionately then and Loki could feel just how close he was. And when his orgasm finally crashed over him, he was spilling between their stomachs, feeling how his cunt was clenching and pulsing with the need for Thor. Loki's body twitched beneath Thor. It was as if a pleasing, electric shock was sent through him and Loki's legs held onto Thor's hip tighter, not wanting him to let go. He didn't even know that he could experience two orgasms at the same time but he certainly was not complaining. It was overwhelming and Loki didn't know how he could help his body relieving all this pleasure Thor gave him. Instead, he let the sensation wash over him and dug his nails into Thor's back, letting the feeling claim his body. 

 

Thor rocked their hips together, still. He was riding him through his orgasm and was probably chasing his own release - which came when Thor roared loudly, his breath next to his ear hot and loud. Loki shivered at the feeling and slowly they both came to a stop though they remained close to each other. Hearing Thor like this was certainly one of the best things he'd ever heard and Loki almost wish it wouldn't be over already. 

 

But then, Thor kissed his forehead gently and gently brushed his thumb across his cheek, smiling down at him after they both came down from their high. 

 

"That was... not what I had in mind when I suggested this." Loki said, still breathing heavily. He could still feel his body trying to calm down again and he was still completely out of breath. "But it was.... it was wonderful Thor. It was amazing and I don't really know what to say." He chuckled, shaking his head before pecking his nose. "We just had sex am I right?"

 

Thor couldn't hold back a happy chuckle. "I think we had. Some would say penetration has to be involved... but this was definitely sex for me." Thor replied quietly and kissed him once again. "And you are absolutely right. It was wonderful, my love. I've never felt this good before."

 

And this night's sleep was better than any Loki had in a long time.

 

****

 

"That's actually quite interesting. I've heard about your powers but I never really found out what exactly you can do." Skaði said while she put the plates with the food on the table right in front of his own and Thor's place. 

 

"Teleporting is only one of the things. I can even be in two spots at the same time. But my clone doesn't have a mind of himself. I have to control him."

 

"That's really great. I wish I could do that." She said with a laugh and shook his head. "Duplication is a rare ability, even with your Seiðr. Only a hand full of magicians can do that, Loki."

 

"He's a rare person as well." Thor mentioned with a smile and placed a quick kiss to Loki's cheek.

 

Loki smiled at that. Up to now, this evening was really nice. It was now two weeks after he and Thor had their little... date? Could you call it like that? Anyway - they'd decided to finally go and visit Skaði and Njörðr to eat dinner with them. Right now, Loki was glad to have someone he could talk to about his magic abilities and how to improve them because Skaði herself was a talented magician. 

 

"What else can you do? I'm limited with my abilities but I figure that if you know more - you could... could you - would you consider to teach me a few things?" Skaði carefully asked and sat down. 

Loki nodded his head and smiled. "Of course, I'd love to show you a few things." He said and thought about what else he could do, using his fingers to count them. "Well... I can shape shift. There's the astral projection I already mentioned. Manipulation of water and ice. I can... I can mind-control people which includes make them do what I want, read their minds and I can even kill them with a single thought if I wanted to... well, if they're weak enough for me to actually break them. But I won't- that's. No I don't do that. Oh and there are the force-fields. I even possess telekinesis to a certain degree but I'm still working on that. And thanks to my father I know that I can transfer energy from one object to another. So... healing abilities would count to this I guess." He mumbled a bit absently and looked at Skaði again whose jaw dropped open. 

 

"You can do _all_ of this?" She asked and Loki blinked. 

 

"Yes." he answered and turned his head to look at Thor. "There are sorcerers in Ásgarðr as well aren't they? I thought they can do such things as well?"

 

Thor only smiled proudly at that. "Yes, but I have never met them, and I do not know how powerful they are. What I do know is that my father seemed surprised at the amount of power you possess. When you came here after Laufey had turned you into his puppet, I warned my father about how powerful you are, but he would not listen. And then, when you displayed at least a part of that power, he seemed shocked. I am not sure if this is because he did not think that... someone like you could be that powerful, or if there is no one here as powerful as you are."

 

"Hm..." Loki mumbled and looked at the cup of his cold tea again. He'd go and ask Odin about it. After all he never met another sorcerer before so he was curious about the others and how powerful they are. It would clearly be amazing to learn from others or simply to exchange their experiences with magic. 

 

"But- no matter what kind of magic I cast I'll _never_ be able to fly or to _lift Mjölnir_." Loki then said and smiled again, giving both of them a look. "There are a lot of sorcerers out there but there's only one person who will ever be able to lift Mjölnir and that's Thor so I think he's the special one here." He continued, looking at Thor with just the same proud smile that Thor had offered him a moment before.

 

"You will always be the most special one to me, my love." Thor replied, taking his hand and pressing a soft kiss to it. 

 

"I love you." Loki whispered and leaned closer to him, catching Thor's lips into a kiss.

 

"I love you, too." Thor replied quietly before the parted again to continue eating their dinner. 

 

"Skaði? Does anyone else know that you are a Frost Giant?"

 

"No. We didn't want to take this step yet, considering Frost Giants are not welcome here in Ásgarðr yet."

 

Loki could clearly understand why they didn't want to tell anyone about this. If they would find out that she was from Jötunheimr as well... what would they say? Would they feel lied to? He figured they would. "If you need someone else to talk to anyway or... simply want to start to trust someone I have to introduce you to Sigyn and her family. They're on our side." Loki replied with a smile. 

 

Skaði seemed to be rather excited about this and he figured this would be one of the things he would do next. 

 

"I hope more people will come around soon now that we put Laufey in prison together." Loki added with a sigh. Though Skaði and Njörðr looked at each other a bit irritated for a few seconds. Before Loki could answer, she started to explain. 

 

"We figured it must have been something like that... you probably wonder why no one trusts you despite this am I right?" She started and Loki nodded. "Well Gunar said you discussed all this during your last meeting with the Allfather... that you brought your father here on your own as a gift and sign of good will. Of course they all interpreted this in a way that it now looks like you two were planning something." Skaði continued. 

 

Loki let out a disappointed sigh. "Gunar doesn't even live in the palace anymore since I came here for the first time."

 

"Has he said anything else about Loki?" Thor asked and Loki could hear the concern dripping in his voice. 

"No, nothing."

 

At least one message that wasn't completely bad. At least Gunar wasn't saying anything else and Loki was glad that he didn't spread any more rumours. Without even looking, Loki reached out under the table to gently grab Thor's hand, giving it a light squeeze.

 

"I just hope they'll come around to see that what Laufey did lies in the past and that there can be a better future for both our realms."

 

Thor did the same, holding Loki's hand in return and giving him yet another kiss to his palm. "We'll convince them. Every little step counts and this here is just the beginning. We have a lot of time left."

"All of us just have to be patient. Peace will come. In time." Njörðr said calmly, offering them a warm smile.

 

"But enough of that." Skaði suddenly said with a cheerful smile and stood up from her chair. "Who wants desert?"

 

Loki was happy about the change of subject and he figured that Thor was glad as well. Luckily, the rest of the evening was filled with more happy subjects and Loki found that he really enjoyed the time with them. It was nice to talk to someone of whom he felt like he was genuinely liked. Of course he knew that Thor loved him. But when he wanted to live here with him, he needed someone else as well. He needed friends and people he could trust so this evening was utterly relieving for him. To see that there was someone he could trust - even if it was another Frost Giant. Then again, Sigyn and her family were there too, so that was a bonus. 

 

Dinner was nice, the desert was incredible and at the end of the evening they agreed that they'd had a very good time. Both Thor and Loki hesitated to leave for the palace, but it was getting really, really dark outside and it was probably time for them to head back. 

 

Pressing a kiss to Loki's cheek, Thor was the one who said it first. "Perhaps it is time for us to head back to the palace?"

 

He actually didn't want to go but then again - Skaði and Njörðr would want to go to sleep soon. They had a great day and Loki was sure they'd do this again. After all they all liked each other so there was no reason to not see each other again. And besides he had thought about something and was sure that Thor would like what he had in mind. Meant if he wanted to. After all he couldn't say if he was too tired or if he simply didn't want to do anything tonight. 

 

"Yes, you're right." Loki answered with a smile as well.

 

****

 

When Loki woke up the next morning, he woke up to the same feeling he fell asleep with - warmth and comfort. A gentle hand in his hair was caressing him and Loki didn't have to look to know that it was Thor's hand. Loki let out a yawn and pushed himself up a little bit so he could look at Thor. "Good morning my king." Loki whispered with a smile. And he realised just now that he was lying on top of Thor.

 

"Good morning." Thor replied softly.

 

Of course Thor was not king yet but he would be one day and Loki just wanted to call him like that. "I hope I didn't crush you tonight." He added with a chuckle and slowly let himself roll down to the side so he was lying next to him, one leg and one arm still on top of Thor.

 

The blond chuckled and shook his head a little. "I think I can handle it." He answered and gently pulled Loki closer by his grip at the back of his head, kissing his lips. 

 

Loki smiled at that and kept looking at him with a satisfied expression on his face after pulling back again. "What should we do today? Go out for a ride to explore Ásgarðr together? Or do you want to do something else?"

 

Thor nodded his head at his suggestion. "That sounds like a wonderful idea," he said, giving him a smile. "There are many parts of Ásgarðr I have not seen yet, and I wish I knew my way around a bit better. We could explore it together."

 

Loki had already figured that Thor still hasn't seen everything of Ásgarðr. This realm was incredibly large and Thor had lived here for... how long has it been since they brought him here? About two years now? Loki was sure he needed a lot of time to get to know the people in the palace, to get to know himself and to figure out the relationships around here. And this alone probably took very long so he couldn't be blamed for not knowing every corner of Ásgarðr. 

 

"Perfect." he said and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

 

He remained like that and looked down at Thor, watching Thor's hand move across his own neck when he massaged his own muscles and pushed himself up as well. Loki watched the way his muscles moved beneath his skin and the veins on his arms jutted. Then, Loki reached out, letting the tips of his fingers run across Thor's arm once. 

 

"Did I ever tell you how much I adore your arms?"

 

Looking down at Loki's fingers on his arm, Thor smiled. "No, I don't believe you did. That is very good to know." 

 

"I could spend hours leaning against you with your arms wrapped around me." Loki admitted with a light chuckle while he stood up and walked over to the chairs where he grabbed the tunic he wore yesterday, putting some pants on as well. He was followed by Thor who dressed himself properly as well and Loki saw his bright grin on his lips out of the corner of his eyes. Yes, this was how it should be. They had the rest of their lives together and it was clear that both of them were sure that they'd spend a lot of time being wrapped in each other's arms. 

 

"Do you want to have breakfast in the dining hall?" Thor asked after putting on his deep magenta woolen tunic.

 

"Sounds good to me." Loki agreed. 

 

Hiding in this room won't do them any good. If Loki wanted the people of Ásgarðr to accept them, they had to go out. Loki had to show himself and show them that he was not Laufey. Loki knew of course that he still had a lot to learn until he was worthy of the throne of Jötunheimr. He knew that he had to undo what Laufey had done to everyone and that it would not be an easy task. And he had to show everyone what Thor knew already. That he loved _him_ and not his throne or title. Why would he? He had a kingdom for himself, why would he be interested in another? And apart from that, he'd fallen for Thor long before he had known about his heritage. Loki didn't care who Thor was as long as it was Thor. Titles did not matter. Not to Loki. He just wanted to spend his life with Thor, was that so hard to believe for everyone? Just because he was a Frost Giant? 

 

Letting out a deep sigh, Loki pushed those thoughts away when they entered the gigantic hall. He didn't have eyes for that though because he immediately searched for the people he knew at the table, seeing who was there. He did realise though that Baldr was there as well - but Thor ignored them so Loki did the same. He was sitting next to Frigga and Loki was lead over to their usual seats right next to Odin and opposite to where Thor's friends were sitting. 

 

"Good morning." Loki greeted Thor's parents with a little smile. And after wishing those around them a good morning as well, Thor turned to smile at Loki, pressing a soft kiss to Loki's cheek before he looked at the table to decide on some food. 

 

"Good morning, Loki." Frigga replied happily. Odin simply gave him an approving look and after that, Frigga gently put a hand on his shoulder. They shared a loving gaze and Loki averted his eyes to see what he would eat. 

 

Like always the amount of different food was _enormous_. There were so many different colours and scents that Loki had no idea where to start. He could even see the different textures and already imagined how these things would eat. He'd already spent some time in Ásgarðr so he knew what certain things were. But a lot of things were still unfamiliar and Loki couldn't wait to get to know all of this.

 

But again, just as he was looking again, he was interrupted. 

 

"Loki, do you have time to talk after breakfast?" Baldr suddenly said and Loki stopped in his movements, not sure what to say. He looked at Thor for a moment, looking for some kind of approval before looking back at Baldr. 

 

" _We_ have."

 

Baldr shifted on his seat uncomfortable. "No. I meant _you_. I'd like to talk to you in private."

 

There was a long pause and Loki was already about to say no, but figured he could give him another chance. After all Loki himself wanted a chance from all the Æsir to prove everyone that he was here simply because he loved Thor. So it was only fair to give Baldr a chance as well.

 

"Aye. I guess we can talk. But not for too long. Thor and I have some things planned today."

 

"What do you want from him?" Thor interrupted them, not even caring to hide that he was not pleased about this situation.

 

"Didn't you hear what I just said, _brother_? I said I want to talk to Loki only. "Stop acting like he is your property. You can't forbid me to talk to him if he agrees." He answered and smirked at Thor. 

 

Instinctively, Loki reached out to put a hand on top of Thor's, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand. "It's fine, Thor." He tried to soothe him quietly when he heard the distant sound of thunder outside. "Thor, don't let this ruin our day." Loki continued to whisper before he turned to look at Baldr again. 

 

"You're right, Baldr. He can't forbid it. But he can consider me being his. And only his." 

 

Baldr was quiet after that and Loki let one of his hands slide under the table so he could put it on top of Thor's thigh, gently rubbing his thumb over it to try and calm him down even more. Judging by Thor's less tense position only a few heartbeats later, it worked. Loki continued eating his breakfast then, dipping his bun into the strawberry jam after each bite until he was finished with it. He finished drinking his milk with honey and shifted closer to Thor after he was done so their shoulders were touching. 

 

"You don't have to talk to him you know." Thor said quietly to him and Loki smiled. 

 

"I do." He replied. "I want everyone to give me a chance to prove that I am not my father. So I have to do the same for others." He said with a quiet voice as well and smiled at him in order to soothe his nerves. And with that he stood up, walking towards Baldr. 

 

Baldr put a hand on his lower back to lead him out of the room. 

 

"Thank you for your time Loki. It won't take long." He said to him and smiled as they left the room, letting the door shut behind them. Loki really hoped it wouldn't take long indeed because he didn't want to lose more time than necessary because of this.

 

And as soon as they were alone, Baldr already started with what he wanted to say.

 

"So Loki... I didn't want Thor to be here because I am sure he would only be upset. We didn't have a good start and I would like to start again. But first... I think I have to apologise." Baldr started.

 

Well that didn't sound too bad. "Go ahead then." Loki replied and looked up to wait for an answer. 

 

"I apologise for my behaviour of course. I did not mean to make you feel like an object. I was just curious. Which leads me to my next topic. When you first came here and spent time in the healing room- I _kind of_ touched you... where only Thor is allowed to. First I wanted to look but I wanted to make sure it is true."

 

True? 

 

"Loki I am sorry. I know I shouldn't have done this. But I did and I can't- I am really sorry that I didn't ask you but I won't apologise that I did it because I actually liked it." 

 

Loki still didn't know what to say. Did Baldr actually mean what he said? If yes, he was probably out of his mind. 

 

"You know that... our people... they respect me. They know me and you would have it a lot easier if you would choose to be at my side." 

 

"Are you insane?!" Loki replied, obviously upset. 

 

"I can understand why Thor is so obsessed with you. I can still recall your scent on my hand Loki." Baldr continued afterwards and Loki could hear that his breathing was heavier by now. 

 

"I think I will go back to Thor now." Loki said firmly, not even saying anything to what Baldr just told him.

 

"Why don't you even _consider_ to change your mind? Before Thor came back I was the crown prince and our people trust me! They would never think you enchanted me. You would have their trust." Baldr insisted and Loki wondered what was going through his head. 

 

He had been so kind at the beginning and now? It was almost as if he was a completely different person. Loki even had to admit that he was a bit scared. 

 

" _I love Thor_. And just because you have their trust doesn't meant you have mine. And who do you think you are that you just touch me?! And then tell me that you can still remember?!" The thought alone was simply disgusting. 

 

"I don't mean to insult you. It was meant to be a compliment. The- the scent and the taste on my hand it was just... different- where are you going?" 

 

Without even answering Loki headed back to the dining hall with fast steps, opening the door immediately. "Thor? We can go now." He called, not bothering to go in.

 

Thor immediately turned to look at him. Leaving his friends, Thor rushed over to him and put his hands on Loki's neck. "Are you alright?" He asked. "He didn't do anything, right?"

 

Loki was relieved as soon as Thor put his hand on his neck. 

 

"He didn't do anything. He just..." Loki sighed and turned around to look at him. Baldr was still looking at both of them and when he met Thor's eyes Loki could see that there was a smile on his lips. He let out a sigh and turned back to Thor. "Let's go somewhere okay? I don't want to talk about this here." And it was true. Thor had a short temper and Loki really didn't want him to do something he would regret later on.

 

Letting his hands drop from Loki's neck, he moved away from him, instead taking a couple of steps closer to Baldr. "What did you do?" he asked, his voice low.

 

"I talked to him. That is all." Baldr told him and shrugged. "Pointing out some... benefits is not forbidden." He added and this was when Loki walked closer to the two brothers. 

 

"Thor come on. We should go." He tried once again and hoped that Thor would not want to talk to Baldr right here and now. It would only escalate.

 

" _Benefits_?!" He glared at him. "What kind of benefits? What did you tell him?"

 

Loki was actually still a little... not afraid, but it simply felt like he was looking at another person whenever Thor was like this. He didn't pay attention to him and he looked like he would go very far to get the information he needed. 

 

"Please brother, you know what I am talking about. Our people trust _me_. Loki would... he would have it easier with me." Baldr said and Loki couldn't believe that he actually told him. 

 

He wanted to tell him what he said in private and slowly in order to prevent Thor from getting too upset. 

 

"And besides... you know I touched him already so it is not a big deal. We both know how good he smells and tastes. Or... do you know? If I am the only one of us two who knows this then I have even more reason." 

 

Those words made Loki tense up and he took a quick step forward to hold Thor's arm. Baldr's voice made it clear what he meant. No Thor didn't know yet and Loki already figured he would be furious.

 

"Thor let us go alright? He is not worth it."

 

Thor easily shook him off before rushing forward, most likely catching his brother by surprise as he jumped forward and tackled him to the ground. Holding him down by pressing his hands to his shoulders, he gritted his teeth at him. 

 

" _How dare you_?!!" Thor bellowed at him, absolute seething at this point. He was not even stopping when his friends coming out of the dining hall to stand next to Loki, calling his name in order to get him to stop. "How _dare_ you?"

 

Thor barely even noticed how Loki tried to get him away from Baldr. It was like he was not even remotely impressed by his efforts and Loki hoped he would not do something he would regret later on. He was too focused on his brother right now it seemed. 

 

Baldr let out a groan and held his hands up, trying to get away as well. 

 

"You- brother, you can't possibly blame me for wanting to try him." Baldr almost whimpered.

 

"Try him?!" Grabbing the front of Baldr's tunic, he pulled him up a bit and then slammed his head back down again. "Yes, I blame you for wanting to try him, you vile, _disgusting_ excuse for a man! He is not some toy you can do with as you please! He is a person!"

 

At that, Baldr let out a nervous laugh. "I didn't do him any harm."

 

"You _did_ do him harm! By touching him while he was unconscious, you did him a great deal of harm. It doesn't matter if he noticed or not - he should not be touched by anyone without his consent. How would you like it if someone touched you while you were asleep?" Once again, he pulled Baldr up and pressed him back down again and Loki could swear that Thor was actually about to hit him. 

 

"You need to start treating Loki like the good person that he is. He does not deserve any of this." He glanced around at his friends and the other people from the dining hall who had gathered around them to watch. "Everyone keeps calling him a monster, but he's not the monster here." Thor looked back at Baldr again. 

 

"People like you are And I don't want to see you around him anymore. I don't want you to look at him, and I don't want you to talk to him. And if you ever touch him again... I will kill you." And with that statement left hanging in the air, Thor turned around and left.

 

Loki only noticed that some people from the dining hall were standing there when Thor adressed them. He looked around, actually surprised by how many people actually came to look at what happened right here. Even Odin and Frigga were there and he could tell that both of them looked troubled which was not really that surprising. 

 

He was already about to follow Thor when he suddenly marched off, but Sif grabbed his wrist and held him back. Turning around to protest, Sif already shook her head to make him understand that he should probably stay here right now. 

 

Thunder was growling outside already and Loki figured that maybe Sif was right. If Thor wanted him around, he would have taken him with him. Though he was surprised by the way Thor acted. He had never seen him like this. 

 

"Baldr, is it true what Thor said?" Frigga suddenly asked and stepped forward. 

 

Baldr pushed himself up and looked down at the question, almost ashamed. 

 

"Baldr!" She insisted and looked at her youngest son. He seemed to hesitate before finally answering, still looking down like a scolded child. 

 

"Yes. I touched him while he was unconscious." He answered and finally managed to keep his head up again. "But it's his own fault! He was telling us that he can bear children! No one has seen something like this before! Don't tell me you wouldn't have gotten curious about it!" He argued and it left Loki speechless. 

 

Frigga said nothing for a while before turning around to Loki. 

 

"Loki why didn't you tell anyone if you knew about this?" She asked calmly and Loki simply shrugged, shaking his head at her.

 

"I know that no one wants me here so I didn't say anything because you wouldn't have believed me anyway. You're all calling me a liar so I didn't think it would be worth telling. It would've made the accusations worse."

 

After saying this, Sif took a few big steps forward and hit Baldr right across his face with a force that he was sent back a few meters and he even stumbled back to the ground. 

 

"Thor should've hit you!" She yelled and even Fandral shook his head at him. "You told us Loki wanted this and only pushed you away when Thor came towards you!" She continued, furiously. 

 

And now, Loki was glad that Thor had left. If he would've heard this... he didn't even want to think about this. It was no wonder his friends didn't believe him when he told them that he loved Thor more than anything. 

 

Suddenly, literally everyone flinched back and Loki could even her some surprised yelps. He looked up, out of the large windows and could see a lightning bolt crashing down. But there was no impact and it made Loki frown. Thor wasn't.... or was he? Loki could only imagine what he could do. He knew he could control the weather and storms but that he would be able to do this... it was incredible to even think about this. Thor was probably way more powerful than Thor himself thought he was. And then there was the impact they all waited for. Something crashed very loudly and then there was a sudden and thick silence that fell upon them. Even the rain was quiet for a few seconds before he could hear its rattling again. 

 

Baldr though remained silent and didn't dare to look at the others. Volstagg was the one who then came towards Loki, bowing lightly in front of him. 

 

 

"I think we owe you an apology." He admitted and Thor's other friends joined him. 

 

 

"Yes, we do. We're sorry for what we said to you, Loki." 

 

 

"It wasn't fair." 

 

 

At least they apologised even if Loki wasn't sure how to handle this. They needed to find out something like this first before they decided to start being nice to him? Things had to escalate first for them to realise that they were wrong. He appreciated it but at the same time he wasn't sure if he should forgive them right away. Forgiving was something that was very difficult for him. He never had to do this before. Back in Jötunheimr everyone had to beg for his forgiveness as well but he never had to forgive them. It was different here. He had to forgive them sooner or later - if not for them or himself... then for Thor. After all they were his friends. 

 

****

 

 

Thor turned around and left, knowing that he had to get out of there before he did something he would come to regret. He probably should have waited for Loki, but he didn't want him to have to deal with him when he was acting like this. Instead, he marched all the way over to the training grounds, turning his eyes up to look at the darkened sky. The thunder was roaring above him as soon as he stepped outside, and the few warriors who had been training disappeared as soon as they saw him, probably realising it would be better not to talk to him right now. 

 

 

Thor stepped into the middle of the training grounds. He could practically feel the thunder running through him, and he held his hand out, calling for Mjölnir as he continued to watch the sky. 

 

 

Luckily, it didn't take long for Mjölnir to reach him, and when she did, Thor held her tightly in his hand. Taking a deep breath, he held the hammer up above his head, pointing her at the sky. 

 

 

Even if he had managed to stop himself from hurting his brother, he had a lot of rage left inside of him, and he knew he needed to find some way to let it out, otherwise he would most likely end up doing something he would eventually come to regret. The rain was pouring down by now, and Thor reached up to wipe some wet strands of hair out of his face, before he summoned the lightning with a roar.

 

 

It came down immediately, but it did not only go through his hammer, it was also running through his body. Thor had never felt anything like this before. He had spent a lot of time training with the hammer, as well as doing what he could to control the weather, but this was entirely new to him. He felt powerful, he felt... alive, in a way that he never had before. The only problem was that now that the lightning had stored itself inside of him, he would need to find some place to let it back out again. 

 

 

It was tempting to go back and use the lightning to hurt his brother, but Thor was not going to do something like that. His mind was not entirely clouded, and he knew he would end up regretting it. Instead, his eyes fell on one of the trees nearby, and he only waited a few seconds before he used his hammer to attack it, the power so strong within him that he ended up hurting more than just the tree. There was a big explosion, and the tree was turned to dust within seconds. Not only that, but there was a big hole where the tree had just been standing, quite a few meters wide in range. Breathing heavily, Thor stared at the same spot, his hammer still left inside his hand. 

 

 

It simply had been too much for him. The rage he had been feeling for the past couple of minutes, and all of the power his body had been storing for at least a brief moment... It was too much for him to handle. Letting the hammer drop, he fell to his knees, breathing heavily as he tried to calm down. He wasn't used to this. He was a warrior, and he always had been, but to be able to control the weather like this was a huge change. He hadn't been doing any of this that long, and he was still struggling with it. He knew he would have to get better at controlling it, but sometimes it was really difficult. He was calming down, though. It was still raining, but there were no flashes of lightning in the sky. 

 

 

Now that he had calmed down, at least enough to be able to think straight, he realised he shouldn't have left Loki alone. He'd done it for a reason, but now he felt bad for it. He just wanted to hold him in his arms again. This was supposed to have been a good day, and now... With a sigh, Thor pushed himself up and pulled Mjölnir along with him. He quickly wiped his hands on his already wet clothes and turned around, quickly heading back inside again. 

 

 

On the other hand though he had needed a moment alone. He didn't want to risk letting his anger out at others. Baldr had clouded his mind with rage with what he had said and Thor had been around to hit him. He'd _wanted_ to hit him desperately. But he was better than that. He was a better person and he'd make sure that Baldr would not even dare to think about touching Loki again. 

 

 

It didn't take him long to get back to the others, and when he did, he only had eyes for one person. "Loki." He stopped and dropped the hammer to the floor, keeping his eyes on Loki and ignoring everyone else. 

 

 

****

 

He had been so deep in his thoughts that he hadn't realised Thor had come back. Hel, he didn't even realise he'd been thinking about a response for that amount of time. 

 

 

"Loki." He could immediately say that it was Thor's voice, only now realising he'd come back and Loki turned around, eyes seeing a dripping wet Thor. He took a subtle but deep breath, not moving towards him yet. He didn't blame him for his outburst - he could understand it. He would've reacted the same way probably. He figured that the only difference would've been that he would've killed Baldr on the spot. 

 

 

Looking at Thor's friends for a moment again he let out a breath. 

 

 

"It's okay. I forgive you." he said and without waiting any longer he moved towards Thor, smiling up at him. "You look exhausted." 

 

 

Without hesitating, Thor grabbed his hand to pull him even closer so he could pull him into a tight and desperate embrace. Holding him tightly, Thor let out a relieved breath and closed his eyes. 

 

 

"I'm sorry." Thor whispered.

 

 

Loki's heart was beating utterly fast when Thor wrapped his arms around him tightly, pressing them together. And when he apologised, Loki brought up his arms as well to wrap them around him, gently moving his hands up and down his back to help him calm down again. But why was he apologising? For rushing off or maybe losing his temper like that?

 

 

Moving one hand up to the back of Loki's head, he turned his own head a bit and pressed a kiss to Loki's hair. 

 

 

"I love you." 

 

 

Thor sounded desperate. Just as this embrace was and Loki swallowed, feeling his limbs going numb from the rush this embrace sent through his body. 

 

 

"I love you. I love you," Thor continued to whisper and kissed the side of Loki's head again.

 

 

Loki could tell that something was off and it left Loki worried. He loved hearing this. That Thor loved him. But it sounded like he was telling this himself and Loki hoped Thor would be alright again. It almost sounded like Thor was about to cry any second because he was so upset. 

 

 

"I know Thor. I know. I love you too." He assured him, whispering so only he would be able to hear him. He looked to the side, realising that it was still raining outside so he let out a light breath, resting his chin on Thor's shoulder. "Should we go back to our chamber?" 

 

 

Slowly pulling away, Thor glanced over at the rest of them before turning back to Loki. "Yes," he said. "Let's go." 

 

 

Without waiting for Loki to respond, he started leading him away from there, the two of them making it all the way back to their chambers in only a few minutes. Opening the door for Loki, Thor waited for him to go inside first before following him and gently closing the door behind them. 

 

 

Heaving a sigh, he looked over at Loki. "I'm sorry." He said again, taking a small step closer to Loki. 

 

 

Loki sighed when he apologised again, walking towards him slowly. He brought his hands up and cupped his cheeks, letting his thumb caress his wet skin. "You don't have to apologise." He insisted and placed a kiss to his forehead, letting his lips remain there for a moment before he pulled back again, still holding him gently. 

 

 

"Are you alright?" He asked, even if he was almost sure that Thor wasn't. Not after the outburst and what happened when Thor was away. Loki hadn't seen what Thor did in these few minutes alone yet but he was sure he'd see know soon enough. "I've seen the thunderbolt outside but... there was no impact. Don't tell me you let it sink into your body?"

 

 

"Yes, I'm fine," Thor finally said, giving Loki a small smile. "And yes. I have. I think. I don't know, I... I have never felt that amount of power making its way through my body before, that amount of rage..." Shaking his head, he brought his hand up to put it against Loki's neck. 

 

 

"Are you alright? Did my friends apologise to you?" 

 

 

"Yes they did. And I'm alright..." He assured him, pulling him with him to the bed so they could sit down. "I didn't know how... how much he touched me until now but-" he made a short pause and took a deep breath, his hands moving to take Thor's hands in his own. "Even if I'm still angry and it can't be undone, it's alright. I know that you're here and you already erased what he did. I only feel you and I only want to feel you."

 

 

"I know," he said quietly. "I know that. But what he said, the way he was taunting me..." Clenching his jaw, he turned his eyes down.

 

 

Loki simply watched Thor for a long time, still not letting go of his hand he was holding. He could feel how tense he still was despite the fact that he said he let his anger out and was alright now. But he couldn't lie to him. It was obvious that all this was nagging him. The way Baldr was subtly mocking Thor for having done things he hadn't. That he had the chance to do this despite the fact that Thor told him Loki belonged to him and he shouldn't touch him. Loki could understand that this must be frustrating. 

 

 

"Would you feel better if you would do the same as he did to me?"

 

 

Thor frowned, shaking his head. "No, I wouldn't." He said firmly. 

 

 

"What would make you feel better then? Just tell me. Anything." He really did want to make Thor feel better, knowing that otherwise he'd be in this mood for the rest of the day. And after all that was what a relationship was for as well. To support the partner, no matter what situation might occur. He wanted to help him and make him feel better again but found himself being a little helpless. Loki didn't have much experience in such things so it was hard for him to find something to do.

 

 

Shaking his head, Thor reached up and cupped Loki's cheek in his hand. 

 

 

"I don't know," he said. "You don't have to do anything, Loki. It's alright. I'll be fine." Sighing, he tilted his head to the side. "I do want to touch you. And I want to make you feel good, but I don't want to do it just to erase the memory of my brother. I want to do it when we both feel it's right. Besides, I would not do what he did. What he did is repulsive. I would have you looking at me as I touch you, as I use my mouth to make you feel good. I want to be able to hear you, and to see that you enjoy what I'm doing. Nothing less than that is acceptable."

 

 

 

Loki could feel himself blush at this. The thought of Thor with his mouth down there while he was looking at him... It made him feel utterly warm in an instant and he waited a moment before he let out a chuckle, trying to hide his nervousness. He nudged him to his shoulder. "Don't say such things!" He said with another laugh and used both of his hands, moving forward to tickle his sides. "You're abashing me!"

 

 

Letting out a soft laugh, Thor raised his eyebrows. "I'm abashing you?" Still chuckling, he tried to get Loki to stop tickling him. "After everything you have said, after every inappropriate comment, I'm suddenly abashing you?" Grinning, he finally managed to grab Loki's wrists, and it did not take him long to push him over and pin him down on the bed, holding both of his wrists down with one of his hands. "You'll pay for that." He told him, waiting only a second or two before he began to tickle Loki, smiling widely the entire time. 

 

 

Starting to laugh, Loki wiggled underneath Thor, trying to get away as he felt his fingers dancing over his sides. He laughed and Thor stopped after a few yelps, bumping their noses together playfully. 

 

 

"Trust me, I did not tell you that I will use my mouth to pleasure you in order to make you blush." With a teasing smile, he leaned down and pressed their lips together, still keeping Loki's wrists pinned against the bed. 

 

 

It was surprising to be honest and Loki felt his heart beating faster almost immediately. He was not even sure why this was so exciting for him but he didn't even try to hide it. Instead he let out a pleased groan into the kiss, parting the kiss to let his tongue trail over Thor's lips.

 

 

Parting his lips, Thor met Loki's tongue without hesitating, his grip on Loki's wrists tightening as he deepened the kiss. Loki completely gave into it, continuing to kiss him, tilting his head to the side and letting the kiss go on for a few moments until he was in need for air. He stopped and made Thor pulled back. But apparently, it was not a sign for him to stop. Instead, Thor moved down and pressed a kiss to Loki's jaw, again and again before he moved further down his neck. Loki immediately tilted his head back to give Thor more space to use, his eyes remaining closed at the sensation. Thor proceeded without stopping, letting him feel his hot breath against his skin before he continued to press another few kisses to his collarbone. 

 

 

After reaching his collarbones, he moved up again and pressed their lips together once again. Loki let out a hum, smiling into the kiss. He enjoyed Thor's affection so much it was almost like he was addicted. 

 

 

"I didn't think you holding me down like this would be so-" which word was the correct one? Many actually but Loki was not quite sure which he should use. "So thrilling." He added, then concentrating on the kiss properly again, still tasting the rain on Thor's lips.

 

 

I didn't think it would be so thrilling either." Thor replied and moved his free hand up to cup Loki's cheek, softly stroking his skin as he continued to kiss him lovingly.

 

 

The kiss was welcomed and Loki eagerly returned it, loving Thor's warm and gentle hand on his cheek. "Why is it so thrilling for you?" Loki slowly asked when he pulled back once again to catch his breath.

 

 

"That is a very good question," Thor said after a few seconds. Frowning lightly, he tilted his head to the side and Loki could tell that he was thinking about what to say. "I don't know," he said, brushing his fingers against Loki's cheek. "I suppose there is a part of me that likes being in control, but there's more to it than that. I also like being able to make you feel good, and if I hold you down, I can take my time with it." 

 

 

Loki grinned. "Sounds like we found each other then." Loki replied with a chuckle and stretched his neck so he could peck at Thor's lips. "Shall I tell you something?" He added, quieter this time. He licked his lips and looked at him again. "I love it when you are like this." Loki admitted. Loki knew he already told him but he wanted to say it again. 

 

 

Looking up, he wriggled at his wrists but they wouldn't move an inch. Looking at him again he gave him another smile and chuckled lightly. "Sometimes I forget just how strong you are." But he trusted him so it was alright.

 

 

"Ah, I see. So, you like my strength?" Smiling, he leaned down again and pressed a quick kiss to Loki's lips. "I suppose that makes sense. You did tell me you like my arms, after all." Brushing his fingers against Loki's cheek again, he licked his lips. "Perhaps it's time I tell you something I like about you?" 

 

 

Moving the hand that wasn't holding Loki's wrists down to Loki's thigh, he brushed their lips together once again. "I love your legs." He moved his hand further down, softly stroking Loki's skin. "And I especially love your legs wrapped around me."

 

 

"You do?" he asked and grinned lightly. "I suppose you'll get to experience them around you more often then."

 

 

"I'm looking forward to it," Thor said with another smile, gently brushing their lips together at first before pressing them together in a proper kiss. 

 

 

Loki gently nibbled at Thor's lower lip before releasing it again only to bring them together again for a long moment, letting the kiss linger. It was still weird since he wanted to wrap his arms around Thor to hold him close but he couldn't do it now. 

 

 

But he could do something else. Loki angled his leg that Thor was still holding, bringing it to his own chest before he pulled it up so the hollow of his knee was bent over Thor's shoulder. Loki figured Thor wondered what he was doing and when they both broke their kiss, Loki showed him a light grin. "If you adore my legs so much you could start showing me with kissing them." he said, hoping he was not too forward right now.

 

 

"Now, how did you know I was planning on doing that?" Pulling himself up a little bit, Thor finally let go of Loki's wrists so that he could focus on his leg instead. Gently holding it, he kept his eyes on Loki as he planted a trail of kisses across his leg, slowly moving his way all the way down to his foot. 

 

 

Loki suppressed a grin and slowly moved his arms down when Thor let go. He didn't even care that it was probably obvious that he was nervous about this. Or maybe nervous was the wrong word? Excited? Maybe this was better. But anyway, he didn't want to hide it from Thor. There was no need to be ashamed of anything. He just concentrated on what Thor was doing and on enjoying it. And he really did. Thor's warm and slightly wet lips felt amazing on his skin and he let out small gasps sometimes whenever Thor touched a sensitive spot. And once Thor moved his hands to caress him, it felt even better. Was he supposed to say something when he complimented him? Because if yes, Loki couldn't think of anything. It was still weird to react to such things. He could feel how Thor followed his markings and his heart was beating fast with anticipation.

 

 

"You have beautiful feet too." He told him with a smile, pressing a soft kiss to Loki's feet as well. Once again, he continued to press kisses to Loki's leg, except this time he was moving upwards. He let his hands move against Loki's skin the entire time, softly stroking the sides of Loki's legs, his fingers following the markings. 

 

 

"Your hands feel so soft against my skin despite your decades of training with the others." Loki quietly noticed with a little smile on his lips.

 

"Thank you." Thor said with a wide smile, pressing a kiss to Loki's knee. "I take it you like them that way, yes?"

 

 

"Yes, I do. And I like them best on me." He answered with a smirk. 

 

 

"How fortunate for me." Thor laughed. "Because you're going to have them on you a lot from now."

 

 

"Well you certainly won't hear me complaining."

 

 

Thor continued to kiss him, pressing kiss after kiss up Loki's thigh, one of his hands moving against the inside of his thigh and the other on the outside. 

 

 

"You know what else I love?" He murmured against Loki's skin. "Your thighs. And I love your markings. I could spend an entire day simply mapping them out with my mouth and tongue."

 

 

"Some of them are quite sensitive actually." He said with a chuckle on his lips. But he guessed Thor already knew, considering he lived as a Frost Giant for the most time of his life as well.

 

 

Thor smiled, kissing his thigh again. "I know." He answered quietly. Thor had almost reached Loki's hip now and he gently moved his tunic up a little bit so he could place one last kiss to his skin. "Would you like me to show you how much I love your other leg as well?"

 

 

"Show me..." Loki almost whispered at his question, giving him another nod while he angled his other leg as well, letting the other fall down to the side.

 

 

Looking at Loki for quite a few seconds, with nothing but love and lots of warmth in his eyes, Thor gave him a quick nod. Turning back down to his other leg, he did the same thing with that one, making sure to start at his ankle. Loki was amazed that Thor kept his eyes on him the entire time. It felt intense and Loki wondered if and how Thor's expression would change when he'd show him signs that he really enjoyed his lips on his skin and the way he caressed them. He really wouldn't mind doing this for the rest of the day. Having Thor slowly and gently exploring his entire body and doing the same in return. Right now he even forgot that the others were probably still down and talking, discussing. But he didn't care. All that mattered now was Thor and nothing else. 

 

 

 

"Have I ever told you how much I love how cold you are underneath my hands? And underneath my lips?" Thor asked with a smile, getting closer to Loki's knee again. "Cold, but not too cold," he added, planting more kisses to Loki's leg. By now, he was pressing kisses to his thigh again, still making sure to brush the tips of his fingers against his markings. 

 

 

"Really?" Loki asked and looked down at him again. "I always thought it could be uncomfortable for you." He added. 

 

 

After all the warmth around Ásgarðr could be uncomfortable for him. Not Thor's warmth of course. This warmth was calming and he welcomed it. But the temperature in Ásgarðr was a little too much sometimes and Loki had feared that the cold of his body might be too much for Thor. He knew that bodies reacted more extreme to cold than they did to warmth. But now that Thor told him he loved it... he stopped worrying about it immediately. 

 

 

"That is good to know..." Loki whispered, tilting his head to the side a little. Loki bent his knee to the outside a bit to give Thor a better access to his inner thigh. I felt amazing and Loki leaned back, enjoying this situation to its fullest. 

 

 

"All the waiting was worth it." He said with a relieved sigh.

 

 

"I'm glad you feel that way." Thor said, smiling up at Loki before leaning down again to press more kisses to Loki's inner thigh.

 

 

Loki wondered what Thor was going to do. Would he simply stop after a few more kisses? Would he continue to leave out his most sensitive parts and move around them, go for his legs the entire time? Or maybe he was waiting for Loki to tell him where to go. He couldn't tell for sure of course. It was a bit frustrating even, knowing that if he would ask him Thor would go further and Loki knew he then would get what his body was expecting. But that would be too importunate, would it? 

 

 

But his answer came slowly. Once Thor had kissed practically every centimeter of Loki's inner thigh, he moved upwards, instead pressing his lips to Loki's stomach. And now that Thor was within reach again, Loki used his hands to gently stroke through the blond strands of Thor's soft hair. They were still damp from the rain but Loki didn't care. It felt wonderful nevertheless.

 

 

And as soon as he was back where he started, their lips met once again. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor tightly. This whole situation had been so utterly gentle and soft and loving. Loki loved it and he was sure Thor had enjoyed it too, based on how willing he'd been to do this.

 

 

"I think we should... stop now." Loki mumbled against Thor's skin, letting out a short laugh. "Or I might end up trying to seduce you."

 

 

Thor chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "Oh really? Well, as much as I would love to see that... if you want to stop, we shall."

 

 

Even if Loki would actually love to try and seduce him now but they had time to do that later. They wanted to explore Ásgarðr today after all and even if they didn't have the perfect start to this... the day wasn't over yet. Loki looked to the side and out the window, smiling a little. 

 

 

"It seems you're in a much better mood already." He said with a chuckle, realising that the rain had stopped and that the clouds were gone and the bright sun was shining down on them again. 

 

 

"How can I not be? Just lying here with you puts me in a much better mood already."

 

 

"That's... a good argument. Shall we go then?"

 

 

"We shall." Pushing himself up, he moved off of Loki, gently pulling himself up with him. "Thank you for making me feel better, love."

 

 

Loki gave him one last soft kiss, brushing his hand through Thor's hair again. "Thank you for letting me." He replied softly, returning the smile Thor offered him. "So, should we see if we can find something nice on the market?"

 

 

"That sounds like a good idea."


End file.
